Friends with girl, starting to see her differently, about to make a move....

[golf299]

Here's the situation: i've been friends, well more like classmates, with this girl for the last couple semesters. recently we have started to get a bit flirty with each other and im taking an interest in her where i wasnt interested before. im starting to see how well our personalities jive.

i just recently got her number, and she mine. im going to call her up sunday and ask her if she wants to go get some drinks after i go out to dinner with some friends.

now, she will probably be confused as to why im essentially asking her out. assuming she says 'yes', how can i make it apparent that im interested and fend off any awkwardness that may result, being that we've never done anything outside of school before?

we've never even hugged or anything, just playful stuff. so, do i go for the hug at the end? i think that's probably subtle enough to let her realize my intentions....


what do you guys think?
thanks!

 

[DJUofS]

Originally posted by golf299
Here's the situation: i've been friends, well more like classmates, with this girl for the last couple semesters. recently we have started to get a bit flirty with each other and im taking an interest in her where i wasnt interested before. im starting to see how well our personalities jive.

i just recently got her number, and she mine. im going to call her up sunday and ask her if she wants to go get some drinks after i go out to dinner with some friends.

now, she will probably be confused as to why im essentially asking her out. assuming she says 'yes', how can i make it apparent that im interested and fend off any awkwardness that may result, being that we've never done anything outside of school before?

we've never even hugged or anything, just playful stuff. so, do i go for the hug at the end? i think that's probably subtle enough to let her realize my intentions....


what do you guys think?
thanks!

Things won't be awkward if you don't feel awkward. Your looking too far into this. She will know you are interested in her when you ask her out... and when you go out, just act like you always have. If you feel awkward, the date will be awkward. Simple as that.

 

[golf299]

thanks for the reply.... anyone else??

 

[Big Pappy]

Kiss her at the first traffic light you stop at.

 

[xblitz44x]

"now, she will probably be confused as to why im essentially asking her out. assuming she says 'yes', how can i make it apparent that im interested and fend off any awkwardness that may result, being that we've never done anything outside of school before?"

She won't be confused. She's going to know that if you're asking her out, it's because you like her and want to see if there is an tyhing there. But to make sure there is no ambiguity, I would make sure it's a 'date' atmosphere. Have dinner, bring some wine, go for dessert. If the date is going well and there is chemistry, ask her if she wants to rent a movie. If she does, great, make your move at your place. If she says "it's getting late..." understand that. When you get to the point where it's time to say goodbye, if she wants to kiss you...she'll make herself available for you to do so. If she doesn't want to kiss you, she'll be quick to hug you or she'll make the goodbye a quick one and hurry from the car.

 

[golf299]

UPDATE, kind of...

i just called her. she didnt answer. i left a short message (that was pretty good i believe)...i went back to someting we were talking about before to make sure the rapport was there, then i cut right to the juice. i told her "im going to xxx at around 7 tonight and would like you to join me. give me a call back and let me know."

this isnt a big deal, but i HATE talking on the phone. i would much rather do it in person. so unfortunately, i wasnt as smooth as possible--and even stuttered a bit i think. but it's all good.

if she's interested, she'll call back. if not, i'll see her next week and bust her on it.

i'll keep you updated...

 

[golf299]

she called back from work, and said she had to work until 11 tonight. so, it was a no-go...she works a lot.

when i see her next week i guess i'll say something like "when are you free this week so we can go out and do something?"

any suggestions?

 

[Rej]

the beauty of this one is, if u feel its just too weird or awkward u can play it off as just a freindly evening, if she confronts u about it saying that she's just looking to be friends and she just doesn't see u that way...just be like..same here, i dunno what made u think i had more then friendly intentions with u..probably cna even twist that into some revers phsycology on her and use that to ur benefit....
peace

 

[golf299]

UPDATE--

here's the latest:

we have a class together today which is pretty long and we're together, talking and what not, for the whole time. we've got some real solid EC, subtle kino and, most importantly, i have her laughing a lot. the C&F was working great.

i take her out into the hall to isolate her and "work on some homework problems". while out there i say "so are you coming out with me to celebrate my promotion?" she says, "yeah, when?" so i reply, "whenever u're not working" (cause she works a lot.)

at that point, unfortunatly, someone interrupts us for the rest of the class period and i never get the convo back on track. it was so retarded.

after class, i left a bit before her thinking that she'd catch up to me or something. i dont know what i was thinking. basically, she went a different way than me and i didnt chase after her to make plans.

so wtf? the only thing that's buggin' me is: if she was interested, shouldn't she be making this easier on me? i mean, seriously.

so my next move will be to give it ONE more go and call her tomorrow or thursday and say "hey, im planning on going to xxx sometime this weekend. give me a call back and let me know when u're not working so you can come with me."

any suggestions guys?

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Talk to her again only when you see her in class - and then continue your convo where you left off - don't call her!

 

[golf299]

why not call her? i won't see her for 1 full week...

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Golf, you hate using the phone don't you? You might stutter again! I thought you'll be seeing her again this week in class. If you call her use *67 and call when you know she'll be at home - a late call - don't leave a message, talk to her personally.

Have a few suggestions of planned activities before you call!

 

[golf299]

UPDATE:

all right...

so i called her up today again. i went against PRL's advice and left a message (quick/light-hearted/ no-stuttering ) ...although she hasnt called back yet...

anyway, my thinking was this: she called back before when i left a message, so she has no qualms about calling guys back. i left a message saying something like "...give me a call back and let me know when u're not working in the next couple of days so we can get together."

if she's interested, she has to call back. if she's not interested, she won't. is my thinking bunk or what?

 

[KiInCollege]

Whoa whoa whoa! This girl has never made a counter-offer! When you asked her out and she said she had to work, DEAD SILENCE. If she doesn't suggest a new date, that is a sign of weak interest.

The actions you've mentioned above are what friends do. That is a bad place to be if you want more. Unless you've left some big details out, and by big I mean of the magnitude, "the two of you have already had sex," your chances are slim with this girl.

 

[golf299]

UPDATE...?

you are correct, she never did counter-offer. she's nothing but confusing it seems.

she did wind up calling me (or texting as the case may be) back from the previous messege i left her yesterday. she said she forgot to call me earlier today. she said she has to work all weekend, which i believe cause, like i said before, she works a lot.

she then said that she'd call me tomorrow or sunday...

so, she said she has to work all weekend.... then why would she even bother calling me on top of texting me if she didnt have some interest?

when she calls, how do i play it to maxamize any potential interest that may still be there on her part?

thanks guys!

 

[Spiter]

Well, if i had read this thread earlier i would have gave you some advice that might have helped. You said you hadn't done anything together outside of class. Offering to go out for drinks wasn't a bad idea, just wouldn't have been my style. When trying to hook up with a friend I think finding a common interest and sharing it together is a great idea for the first date, intramurals or a concert or running, lifting weights, something similar. It's ok though, you make her laugh a lot so you got the positive association going on with her and i think she likes you. Especially cuz she's returning your calls.

Slow down though cuz you will probably get to the point where she sees you as sorta desperate and it might turn her off completely. Let her make the next move Holmes, she knows you're interested and if she's feeling ya she'll make a move. She knows it's her turn. Otherwise, go a couple more classes before offering anything else. Maybe 2 or 3 and then you can go back to what I mentioned before and maybe you can get tickets for a concert you know she'd like and tell her she has to get off work that day. Something like that.

Anyway, hope you catch my drift.
Good Luck!

 

[golf299]

LAST UPDATE...probably

well, she never called...this is an easy one: NEXT!!!

and i'll see her tomorrow too... o well, im not gonna mention anything, just be unphased....we'll see if she says anything...doubtful...

the only thing that bugs me, and it's not about this girl inparticular, is that i think im a pretty good guy..

smart, quick-witted--check
sarcastic, funny, with a dash of ****y--check
amazing good looks--check (j/k)
confident, athletic, ambitious--check


girl--uncheck

wtf?!?

 

[Omni]

Whether or not you have a girl has nothing to do with your value as a man. So what if this one girl didn't work out-there are lots of others.

 

[Spike_Tha_Cowboy]

Buy her some diamond earrings she will love it

 

[golf299]

UNBELIEVABLE!

so, she left me a message last friday saying that she'd call me over the weekend. she never did, and our class was cancelled last week, so i havent talked to her at all for over a week. i nexted her.

so, out of the clear blue, she calls me tonight and leaves a messege saying that she knew that she should have called me last week, but she worked all weekend and called me now instead.

she wanted to know if i still wanted to go out with her, and that if i did, could we do it after school is over because she is just swamped...

what do i do with this girl?!