friends with benefits?

Chase12

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 3, 2006
Messages
107
Reaction score
0
i dont really have a question, but its the first time ive gone throught this FWB thing, so i guess im looking for comments/etc--

so to make the story short, i had oneitis for this chick that had a boyfriend. When i found this out (she never told me), i just thought i would be friends with her, and since she goes to the same school as i do, if she ever breaks up with him, i'd have a go with her...

(actually at this time i had never heard of sosuava and well, i was always a kind of jerk, to girls, and everyone, but i thought being the nice guy was the thing to do with girls :S)

so she breaks up with bf, and a month later we got sort of drunk in this party and we made out. the next day.. sjhe LJFB-ed me. So well i jsut told her it was ok, no hard feelings and moved on. A month later i made out with another chick in the same party she was in, and she cried (lol wtf).

So we talked and cleared up everything. She told me she liked me (i told her i liked her back), that she broke up with her bf cuz of me, but then she told me didnt want a relationship, stuff like that. So we kissed and then she had to go..

so the last time we talked she told me again she didnt want a relationship (cuz since were in the same class, we would be together all the time, making it boring), but she still liked me, didnt know wut to do, if it was any other guy she'd let me go, etc. so i was about to blew her off, but then i asked her wut about FWB for now, she said ok. But since we still liked each other, she asked if it could be sort of exclusive. I said ok (dunno if ill respect that tho)

so ive always heard that ppl get hurt in FWB relationships cuz someone always falls for the other, and since ive had oneitis for her.. maybe im at risk of getting hurt here?

were gonna meet the day after 2morrow in this party, and we planned on making out/talking there... any advice/suggestions?
 

Porky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2003
Messages
1,480
Reaction score
0
Knyteguy said:
Go for it. At least you'll get some action, and other girls will like you more for having a fb. Just do your best to remember it's only FWB, and nothing else.
I do agree with that, for the most part.

However, no matter what she says, keep in mind that at this point this is not a FWB relationship.

She's already said she's attached, you've admitted to being attached, and she wants to be exclusive.

However, she also doesn't want to date you, or be your girlfriend. something strange is going on here.

notice how she only became interested in having something with you once she realized that other girls were interested in you? she didn't break up with her boyfriend for you and she isn't telling you the whole truth here.

Do yourself a favor and don't settle. If she doesn't want to date you, then she doesn't get to be exclusive with you. Let her know that since she doesn't want anything serious you want to keep your options open, and then proceed to do so. Do not get attached to this girl, and don't pressure her for something more than FBs until she brings it up.
 

JLW

Senior Don Juan
Joined
Nov 19, 2005
Messages
375
Reaction score
7
Listen to Porky. If she doesn't want you as her bf, but still wants to be exclusive, that's retarded.

Just tell her you're not cool with that.

Don't go behind her back and hook up with other girls when you agreed not to. Just give her your opinion. If she doesn't like it, then who cares? Just hook up with the other girl again, or find even more girls.

Not a difficult decision imo. Either be FWB's or don't. Forget that half-assed, "I wanna be FWB's but I want it to be exclusive". Sounds like an AW to me, especially the way she reacted when you hooked up with another girl.

I predict that as soon as you start to give her more attention she'll get bored. But who knows.


One thing I noticed with a lot of girls in high school who know they're hot, is that as soon as you start liking them too much, they get bored and move on. They really aren't mature.
 

Chase12

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 3, 2006
Messages
107
Reaction score
0
Heh thx guys. Tomorrow im gonna see her at this party... guess ill take her out for a lil talk.. ill tell her that since she doesnt want n e thing serious **** that exclusivity thing... bleh gotta move on and so does she i guess (she admitted that she would be jealous if ive hooked up with another girl, so i guess she got attached too)

its just weird u kno.. the only reason she gave me is that we would be together the whole time since were in the same class...so it wouldnt really work out...wtf

and the bf thing sounded strange to me too... her friend told me the same thing a while ago about her prolly dumping her bf for me, but i thought it was bull ^^

so i guess ill just focus on other hoobies (surfing, my band, stuff lyke that) and other girls.. and if she brings the dating thing up... ill think about it ;)

btw wuts AW
 

Chase12

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 3, 2006
Messages
107
Reaction score
0
oh attention *****... yeh i thought about that too..

bleh im starting to regret not blewing her off.. ive known this chick for lyke 4-5 months but damn she makes everything so ****n difficult
 

You essentially upped your VALUE in her eyes by showing her that, if she wants you, she has to at times do things that you like to do. You are SOMETHING after all. You are NOT FREE. If she wants to hang with you, it's going to cost her something — time, effort, money.

Quote taken from The SoSuave Guide to Women and Dating, which you can read for FREE.

Porky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 16, 2003
Messages
1,480
Reaction score
0
let us know what happens at the party
 

Chase12

Don Juan
Joined
Jul 3, 2006
Messages
107
Reaction score
0
bleh...ATENTION ***** indeed

the nite kind of sucked... she ignored me the whole time.. and grind with some guys at the dance floor(and she like looked at me while she did.. like trying to make me jealous wtf?)... so u kno what

NEXT!!! (ill still keep her as a FWB, with NO strings attached tho, but shes acting really weird... we were supposed to make out at this party but she never even bothered coming to talk to me)

bleh.. i was becoming too atached to this chick.. NEVER AGAIN... im not getting emotionally attached to any chick until she really deserves it...
 
Top