Friends who 'latch' onto you when you're going out?

[NotAgain]

I have a large social circle of which I keep my friends separate. Not due to wanting to but because they are from different walks of my life. Because I do go out quite a bit, I've found my friends from different circles trying to 'tag' along to other events I go to.

To be honest it is getting annoying as I can't work on my game or talk to other woman etc because I have a friend who doesn't know anyone else following me and sticking to me like glue. Not to mention I don't have a fun night because my other mates then kind of leave me as I have to 'mind' my other friend who tagged along.

It's about to happen again with NYE coming along. There is a girl I'm keen to work on that's going to a party I am yet another of my mates is trying to force me to get him invited too.

This is not a 'bro's before hoe's' thread but rather a how do you get rid of friends who latch onto you while still being a mate. My problem is I have always been that friendly guy who instantly becomes mates with anyone I meet.

 

[PokerStar]

i understand where you are coming from. That is one of the reasons why I go to party by myself. sure, ill meet my friends at the venue but i want to leave whenever i want and i dont have to wwait for anyone.

anyway, back to your problem.

Maybe you could use your DJ prowess to introduce him to other ladies. You can also tell him to meet knew people and its a chance to break out of his current mold.

dont be selfish, try and guide him.

 

[Alex DeLarge]

I know just what you mean.. I go out with one of my best friends all the time who's a complete introvert and very AFC (not AFC cause he's an introvert, just AFC). I try to get him to approach girls, but he thinks it's "scummy" to do that.. I'm like "Wow really dude?.. You know were in a bar right? You know these girls wear those tiny ass skirts in the cold weather so we look at them and approach them right? Open your eyes dude!" He kinda holds his nose up to me for doing it, even though he has probably only gone out with 2 or 3 girls in his whole life. He also told me once "I have to really like a girl before I ask her out on a date." I said back "Dude, you ask a girl on a date to tell if you really like her or not.. And usually it takes more than a couple dates to tell that!" He's a hopeless romantic I guess..

When I do approach a girl and carry out a conversation, he always butts into it too and says the stupidest awkward sh1t. So annoying! Haha.. When it comes down to it though, he's a great dude and I love hangin with him, but he needs to be more outgoing.

 

[NotAgain]

Maybe you could use your DJ prowess to introduce him to other ladies. You can also tell him to meet knew people and its a chance to break out of his current mold.

dont be selfish, try and guide him.

Normally I'd be alright with this but this is starting to happen all too often my friend. Thing is it's not my regular friends. This is a mate back in high school whom I haven't talked to or met up in years besides the occasional message every couple months. He's been invited to other parties he's not keen on so I'm his next best option. My other mate is someone from uni. This was where I'd gone to meet other friends after a function and he invited himself along after I left and him finding me and my friends in another club.

Thing about NYE is I want to spend this quality time and bring in the new year with my closest friends. To be honest girls take a backseat on this night too. That is why I am really not too keen on having 'outside friends' to this NYE party. I'm sorry if I sound selfish but I've already spent alot of my life being used and walked on by others and having them poking into my life where I don't want them to be.

 

[PokerStar]

id tell him i would let him know. you havent decided on what you are going to do that night.

i say this to girls who i dont feel like hanging out with.

 

[NotAgain]

When I do approach a girl and carry out a conversation, he always butts into it too and says the stupidest awkward sh1t. So annoying! Haha.. When it comes down to it though, he's a great dude and I love hangin with him, but he needs to be more outgoing.

Thats basically my uni mate yet he is more DJ than AFC yet he will make the most awkward comments when I'm talking to chicks. But thats not the thing, I like my privacy and maintaining my friendships separately. Not to mention I love my freedom and hate those type of people whom latch onto you.

PokerStar, he already knows where I'm going. He sniffed me out asking what I was up to making it sound like he already had plans and now he wants in after finding no better options. Nah, I'll figure something out!

Cheers guys, sorry if this sounds more like an online rant than it does a discussion. I'm just fed up of people using me as a social ramp when they have nothing else better to do!

 

[PokerStar]

Cheers guys, sorry if this sounds more like an online rant than it does a discussion. I'm just fed up of people using me as a social ramp when they have nothing else better to do!

soical ramp? ha im going to use that one time.

 

[f283000]

Brother I think you need to chill out! Put yourself in their shoes or put yourself in the shoes of countless sosuave posters who post about not having any friends or struggling socially. Don't be greedy spread the fun! Feel blessed that you have friends, that you have parties to go to, that you have people that want to hang out with you.

I am your exact opposite in the sense that I go out of my way to include people in my activities and i'll be honest most of the time I see no reward because I rarely find people that give the love back. Everyone I meet seems to be in it for themselves. They find a guy like me and they mistrust me thinking i'm doing it to get something in return which is how THEY operate, but I give because I like to give but they can't see that.

I think it's great that you do take your friends with you and don't stop doing it. Keep being a positive guy, keep being a good friend. Karma will reward you in the end.

 

[Zerro]

Thats basically my uni mate yet he is more DJ than AFC yet he will make the most awkward comments when I'm talking to chicks.

I know a guy like that but it's more of an issue that he can't seem to help himself from walking up and trying to game the chick I'm already working on, as if there's some sort of rivalry, and it often screws things up to the point that neither of us gets the girl. Then he keeps saying that he wants me to be his wingman, screw that if this is what I can expect.

That's why I consider him to be a DB rather than a DJ, a DJ should at least have some respect of each other and give one another room to maneuver. When there are plenty of girls there is no need to start competing over the same one, especially when your buddy was there first.

 

[bigneil]

I like to either go out alone or host a party. As for going out with a friend, a good wing man is like Gold, but you'll only have 1 or 2 of them in your life. Most will make scoring impossible. Avoid them. Hang around with people you aspire to be like.