Friends who game women you have interest in

[T|CK]

If you have interest in a woman and your friend knows that, is it disrespectful for him to go after her even after you've already conveyed interest?

I had this flirtation thing going with this woman, and my friend met her and decided to go after her after I had already told him I was interested in her.

I'm the type of guy that takes it slow. That's pretty much how I roll, and it works very well for me. He jumped in behind my back and asked her to go on a trip to see a concert. She went with him and when I found, I was pissed.

Personally, I see it as a test of character, and he only did me a favor by showing his true colors. I confronted him about it, and he said that she was fair game. While this is true, it is not true among friends. She is fair game for everyone, but real friends. The way I see it friends don't do that sh!t.

 

[I'm Charming]

Dude, it's not as if you were going out with her.

Just because you've displayed interest in a woman doesn't mean you have dibs on her or whatever, why would you want to anyway, the replies coming in here will just tell you that if you're so upset about one woman you should spin more plates.

End of the day you were slow and your friend made a move, he can do what ever he wants if she's not your GF.

 

[WC2]

It's a touchy subject. Some dudes will get real emotional about it.

In my opinion, you snooze you lose.

Taking things slow with women is all good and dandy until someone else steps in and shows her a lot more in a shorter period of time.

This doesn't mean you need to bone girls the first time you see them, but playful ****y conversation will always win over the "lets get to know each other slowly" conversation.

It's just typical that a guy would approach a girl with the "lets get to know each other" BS when she really knows that you just want to get into her pants.

THATS why women respond well to guys who get down to the bottom line. She senses that he is a man and doesn't need to beat around the bush.

There are some rules that I do like to follow when I'm out with my mates, but they know just like I do that if I can spark attraction for a woman much quicker than them, they are **** out of luck (and vice versa).

Being any other way with your friends is just faking what reality really is. It's like that out there. Get used to it.

Now, of course if your friend is hitting on your girl friend, then something needs to be done.

But as men we should all realize that in the world of success and women, there isn't really any room for pity. We must learn to be the best men we can be. It's a dog eat dog world out there whether you like it or not. Getting a woman stolen from you is just practice for bigger things.

 

[T|CK]

It isn't a dog eat dog world when your friends are concerned.

You shouldn't have to compete with your friends. Otherwise, they really aren't your friends.

 

[TizZle]

My mentality is bro's before ho's. There's too many women out there to be going after the ones your friends are actively seeking. Doesn't sound like you have a genuine friend and just the type of friend that uses you. I don't feel sorry for you tho, pick your friends better.

 

[T|CK]

My mentality is bro's before ho's. There's too many women out there to be going after the ones your friends are actively seeking. Doesn't sound like you have a genuine friend and just the type of friend that uses you. I don't feel sorry for you tho, pick your friends better.

Thank you, and amen!

It didn't help that we became friends in a Sunday school class. I've found that the "so called" Christians are the worst. Sure, there are some guys that are sincere in their believes, but that puts a divide between us because I don't live like that or think that way, but the guys who put up a front are probably the worst to become friends with. I've definitely learned my lesson.

 

[WC2]

It isn't a dog eat dog world when your friends are concerned.

You shouldn't have to compete with your friends. Otherwise, they really aren't your friends.

Ha.. look I see where you're coming from. But you're living in a fantasy world.

You're telling me you never compete with your friends? You're telling me that you never want to be the better man when it comes to sports? Smarts? Women?

Look, I don't know what kind of friends are appealing to you, but I'm really only close with those who bring something to the table. Those who challenge me and make me better. I'm not a big fan of the friend that will sit there and compliment me all day as if he's a droning robot.

It's a huge misconception that the best friends are the nicest ones. The best friends are the ones who tell it like it is. The best friends know when they need to be friendly and know when they need to be hard on you.

Now don't get me wrong, I pity the man who sits there and sh!ts on friends of his. But challenge and competition is what makes friendships enjoyable.

If you see your friend stealing a potential woman any different than him bettering you at a sport, then you my friend have some thinking to do about what women really mean to you-- NOT the world. Especially women who you've just met. They are fair game.

You come back when your friend has started hitting on your girlfriend and I'll give you sympathy, but until then LEARN it is a dog eat dog world out there or you'll get eaten like the rest.

 

[Mr. Me]

Chances are buddies remain buddies way after most girlfriends are distant ex-memories, so for a bud to move in on a gal you're interested in means he'll never have your back.

But you also have to not waste any time in approaching and getting the girl or otherwise you're tying up women for no good reason. Besides, some stranger will step in if you don't act on it.

 

[T|CK]

I still don't think I should have to compete with my friends. When I say, "I want that girl," they should back the fvck off.

It's called respect.

If you want to teach people to put up with disrespect, then, sir, you're teaching them wrong.

 

[T|CK]

Chances are buddies remain buddies way after most girlfriends are distant ex-memories, so for a bud to move in on a gal you're interested in means he'll never have your back.

But you also have to not waste any time in approaching and getting the girl or otherwise you're tying up women for no good reason. Besides, some stranger will step in if you don't act on it.

Oh, I approached alright. Every where I went, she was there starting a conversation with me.

I could care less if a stranger stepped in. I have no control over that, but when a buddy does it, I'm pissed.

 

[Furyguy]

There's friends and then there's friends. I only know a few dudes I respect enough to give them total 'rights' (for lack of a better word) to any specific lady.

Here's a situation I've seen in the past: Friend of mind is nuts for a particular girl. As it happens, I am too, but I already knew how he felt about her before I started feeling this way too, so I made the decision in my own mind to back off and let it go. Never actually spoke to the guy about it, but I didn't want to be a douche to him. Well, this dude takes too long to make his move and two weeks later she's dating some random *******. So was I right in this situation to back off? I don't know man, but I really don't think that's something I want to let happen to me ever again. There's a lot to be said for a man who takes what he wants when he sees it and doesn't give a **** what the world will think about him.

You also have to take into account whether or not the dude is actually making progress, or legitimately has ANY chance with the girl.

Granted this dude wasn't even a GOOD friend, just a friend I hung with on occasion, and I do believe there is a difference.

What do you think on the reverse side of this? Your friend is totally into some chick, but for some reason she's just all over you and clearly doesn't give a flying **** about the guy? Personally I hate this even more, a man can get so emo and hostile about this and there's really nothing you can even do.

 

[[S]alvatore]

First to the dinner table. If you don't act, don't get pissed off if your friends start gaming a girl that you're interested in.

 

[Warrior74]

Oh, I approached alright. Every where I went, she was there starting a conversation with me.

I could care less if a stranger stepped in. I have no control over that, but when a buddy does it, I'm pissed.

You know what? I had a friend like that. All of his boys would swoop in and take his target. He would tell me how he was disrepected by this person or that person taking his girl. And I would feel bad for the guy and think the other guys were douchebags until one day I saw how he was with women. He had a hot one..a good 9. And he worshipped her from afar, he bought all her meals and drinks, took her out and paid for everything acted clingy and jealous but would never make a move to kiss her or do anything physical. He had told everyone that he was interested, but he never made a move, for weeks! She got to the point where she started to openly mock him to his face. She gave me the green light to go for it, but I passed. Eventually she moved on and started dating some rich guy. My boy turned from loving her to hating her guts. "She's a ***** like all the rest, a gold digger just using men." He fails to see his role in the situation. He played himself. All he had to do was go for it on the first or second date and he would have been golden.

Now I know why guys like you get your little "crushes" stolen. Real men don't have crushes, they step up to the plate and go for it, or leave it alone. There is no taking your time and planning and hoping and wishing like a little school boy. You get on it if you want it. At least kiss the damn girl and let her know you want her.

 

[Rebound Material]

I still don't think I should have to compete with my friends. When I say, "I want that girl," they should back the fvck off.

It's called respect.

If you want to teach people to put up with disrespect, then, sir, you're teaching them wrong.

Im also in the Bro's before Hoes category because something like this has happened to me but WAY worse. It was between me and a chick that I had dated and my most trusted 'friend' in the group. After she decided to drop me, I of course vented out to my 'friend' about it. I emo'd out basically...Fast forward a bit: Anyways, when things just didnt go my way and I didnt get her back, my AFC ass decided to call her out on certain sh!t(how AFC of me). This ended up with me and her as enemies...Thats when my 'friend' used this time to his advantage and went for her. I didn't get any calls from my friends asking to hang out for about a month and later found out that 'homeboy' had been ducking me out intentionally to get at her...Rumors started to spread about me amongst the guys and next thing you know all my friends were avoiding me(except for one)...

See, if my friend were to at least have shown respect and told me to my face wtf was going on between them, I probably wouldnt have liked it but sure as hell would have respected him for it. Even though the drama had settled down now, till this day I don't trust any of them. In a sense, I saw her coming into the group as a blessing in disguise because it basically showed me what kind of slime I was hanging out with.

So yea, I agree when you say that girls should never be a problem between friends.

 

[Onlyliveonce]

Cut them out of your life. No need to deal with people that live in the moment. Grab your balls, you were meant for better things and better people.

 

[Warrior74]

When I was in highschool, my friends always wanted to date my ex's. Mainly because I went out and found new girls. But they would always ask me. These days, doods aren't gonna ask. It's every man for himself. Especially if you show your weak. In fact, when you show your weak or AFC you get no love amongst the pack. The pack is only as strong as it's weakest link. (I'm looking at you Rebound, your whole pack saw your weakness and turned on you).

You only have one or two real friends in life. And even those can go away. You are alone in this life, born that way, die that way. So stop expecting people to live up to your standards, you live up to your standards and deal with it when people do what they do. If you are gonna get mad everytime a friend does something you think is wrong...you'll soon have no friends. I only have a small handful of friends and its better that way. Each one of them has done something that has wronged me. When times were hard, only two of them were there. And for those two, I say bros before hoes, **** the rest of those douches!

 

[KingBeef]

Im also in the Bro's before Hoes category because something like this has happened to me but WAY worse. It was between me and a chick that I had dated and my most trusted 'friend' in the group. After she decided to drop me, I of course vented out to my 'friend' about it. I emo'd out basically...Fast forward a bit: Anyways, when things just didnt go my way and I didnt get her back, my AFC ass decided to call her out on certain sh!t(how AFC of me). This ended up with me and her as enemies...Thats when my 'friend' used this time to his advantage and went for her. I didn't get any calls from my friends asking to hang out for about a month and later found out that 'homeboy' had been ducking me out intentionally to get at her...Rumors started to spread about me amongst the guys and next thing you know all my friends were avoiding me(except for one)...

See, if my friend were to at least have shown respect and told me to my face wtf was going on between them, I probably wouldnt have liked it but sure as hell would have respected him for it. Even though the drama had settled down now, till this day I don't trust any of them. In a sense, I saw her coming into the group as a blessing in disguise because it basically showed me what kind of slime I was hanging out with.

So yea, I agree when you say that girls should never be a problem between friends.

ditto!!!

 

[I'm Charming]

You only have one or two real friends in life. And even those can go away. You are alone in this life, born that way, die that way. So stop expecting people to live up to your standards, you live up to your standards and deal with it when people do what they do. If you are gonna get mad everytime a friend does something you think is wrong...you'll soon have no friends. I only have a small handful of friends and its better that way. Each one of them has done something that has wronged me. When times were hard, only two of them were there. And for those two, I say bros before hoes, **** the rest of those douches!

Spot on. Excellent post. Fraid I cant rep, need to spread it round more, but I would if I could.

 

[Rebound Material]

When I was in highschool, my friends always wanted to date my ex's. Mainly because I went out and found new girls. But they would always ask me. These days, doods aren't gonna ask. It's every man for himself. Especially if you show your weak. In fact, when you show your weak or AFC you get no love amongst the pack. The pack is only as strong as it's weakest link. (I'm looking at you Rebound, your whole pack saw your weakness and turned on you).

You only have one or two real friends in life. And even those can go away. You are alone in this life, born that way, die that way. So stop expecting people to live up to your standards, you live up to your standards and deal with it when people do what they do. If you are gonna get mad everytime a friend does something you think is wrong...you'll soon have no friends. I only have a small handful of friends and its better that way. Each one of them has done something that has wronged me. When times were hard, only two of them were there. And for those two, I say bros before hoes, **** the rest of those douches!

So you're saying my pack was strong and I was apparently weak? Im not gonna completely disagree with you on that, but I should have also said that the pack has broken up due to some of the guys snaking eachother for certain chicks...now do you still think that It was me who was completely weak at the time? Its trully does disgust me when I see a close group of friends(mainly guys) get broken up because of a single chick...Its like they all forgot how long they've known eachother and the fact that they have a bond way stronger than this breezy that they all had just met.

But anyways, I also have a small group of friends now that I really do trust. And yes, they've all done something to wrong me in the past, but I forgave them for it. Bros b4 hoes to them.

 

[Prodigy746]

I agree with you friend. You werent dating her and you were taking too long, i would prolly do the same thing if she was hot. Why do u take forever to make a move, thats your fault.

I agree with Bros before Ho's but when you are not going with the girl and are taking forever to go out with her than its your problem. There is a good chance somoene else will step in and take her if it is not your friend.