Friends Have GFs...How Do I Meet Girls Now?

[someone800]

Hey fellow DJs,

I generally come on this forum when I start to get really low with women. I have had success, but now I am having a low point and have been for the past couple months or so.

My question is how do I meet girls now and get myself "out there?" I have quite a few friends; however, I only really have two friends I would go out "hunting" with. These guys I would love winging with because they had that "chill" and let's have a good night and meet some girls attitude. And you know what? It worked. This past summer and a bit of fall, we would frequently dress up (nice jeans, button down shirt generally) and drive out on the town (malls, shopping centers, public areas) together and walk around looking for girls. We walked and drove with charisma. A lot of nights, we wouldn't find any girls; however, the times that we did, we were usually successful.

Fast-forward to around 2 months ago. One of the guys gets a girlfriend. Now the other guy also has a girlfriend. They like to hang out together or alone and I understand this. Nothing against them, I'd be (and have been) the same way if/when I have/had a girlfriend.

However, with them unavailable to really go out like we use to and school at an end for the summer; I am really at a loss of how to find some women. I have a good amount of other, even closer friends than them. However, these friends don't seem to par on the same interest level I have with doing this. They also don't radiate the same group charisma that we would when I do manage to drag one or two of them out for something like this (I have multiple times).

I've been without a girlfriend since January, I believe. I look at myself as an emotional guy-I am looking for a LTR (to find through dating) that can also be my best friend over time. However, I can't seem to find a way to meet girls at the moment. I'll sometimes every now and then hit such a low point that I will get in my car by myself and drive around town at night, dressed up with some music playing in hopes there'd be something that would pop up.

So, fellow DJs, how do I fix this situation? Thanks!

 

[sodbuster]

meet their GF's friends. Women are ALWAYS looking to brag about how they set "so and so" up.

 

[Real Talk]

meet their GF's friends. Women are ALWAYS looking to brag about how they set "so and so" up.

Yup. You already have a fair bit of social proof too. If her friend is willing to be with your friend, by transitive property that means you should be legit too, right?

/thread

 

[quixadox]

Not only that, but what about gaming women alone?

This shows a high confidence in yourself and your abilities.

For example, go to a local pool, approach women who are alone or with a group with confidence and just a general comment about your surroundings. When they ask where your friends are, just say you WANTED to have some alone time cause you are always with friends. That is huge social proof alone.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

Quixadox, Hellz yes! Its to your benefit to game alone. Women aren't that critical of you being with friends or not. Maybe a minimal few, but those women you wouldn't want to fvck anyways. And yes, going to the bar by yourself shows ALOT of confidence and the fact that your talking to girls alone is the social proof itself.

I remember a few girls commented on how thats brave and courageous, which tells you that most women are terrified to go to a bar by themselves. They wouldn't know what to do. Just like some guys. There are the rare few who do but you know what I'm saying...

Going out alone is tough at first, but once you do it more and more, it gets easy. If this is still tough for you, why not look up a seduction lair at LoveSystems or Real Social Dynamics? You don't even have to have the same style as those guys but go out with them just to go out lol.

If your near the DC area....you could go out with me lol.

 

[Hakuna]

Approach girls by yourself. You may be less confident so you'll have less success, but eventually you'll get over it and it'll feel the same as when you were approaching w/ a wing.

Talk to all of their gf's friends. You'll already have social proof with them so it should make things a lot easier.

 

[someone800]

Thanks for the great replies so far guys! I talked to one of the guys who has a GF right now about hanging out soon, so we are probably going to do that; however, I gotta work in the "Let me hang out with your girlfriend till she asks why in the world I don't have a girlfriend question" .

I also want to try more solo stuff...I just gotta get my mind away from the "it looks creepy" attitude. I don't go to bars, but I do go to nightclubs. Since I am looking for a LTR though, I don't think the nightclub scene is the best place to find the type of girl I am looking for right now.

Also, this question is a little off topic but what do you guys think about dating older women? I mean, more specifically a 18-20ish year old dating a 21-year old (or slightly above)? The real issue that sticks out with me is drinking (I personally don't "drink drink" but I am not totally opposed to it either). I can see it being awkward that the girl can go out drinking at bars and whatnot while you can't (or may not want to). The reason I am asking is because I met this great girl who's new at work today and she's attractive and has a great personality (personality=the hard thing to come across). We were flirting and she seemed to be giving me signals (I guess I'm handsome? ). However, the age thing applies. I was really close to asking for her number after we clocked out but because there were coworkers around (and she mentioned she was drinking this weekend), I backed down (or chickened out). What should I do for this situation? Not go for her?

Thanks!

 

[sodbuster]

Dipping your pen in the company ink can be trouble. Hard to say what she will do to you at work if she's pizzed when you break up.I don't think this is your dream job[at your age],so how hard is it to get a new one where you are?

As far as the age thing? hard to say-bothers some women alot.Others,not so much. I wouldn't tell her until she asks[hopefully after sex]. If she invites you to a bar-"I don't drink,so I don't go there" may get you some time.

 

[someone800]

Thanks for the reply.

There have been quite a handful of relationships (good and bad) at my place of work, so I am not to sure if it is a problem.

She already knows my age...but the signs are there (I think).....

 

[someone800]

WHOA. Update:

I added the girl from work as a Facebook friend and just just accepted but what interested me was that she sent a private message giving me her number saying she was going to give it to me at work. Wow.

So...after my thoughts on the age difference and drinking in consideration, what do I do now?

 

[sodbuster]

****,call her ask her out for a motorcycle ride etc. She's very interested.

 

[handle]

Dude, your friends have girlfriends... Who have friends. This is a perfect situation. Their friends want to have some action in their lives.

 

[Duracell_Bunny]

It's unclear from OP, whats the level of rapport with your freinds girlfreinds?

I've been in this situation before it really helps to be getting along. Treat em like your best buddies and have a laugh with them.

You will then get direct invites to events, such as a if its their b-day (hence lots of freinds she would introduce to you or if not its only respecful to mingle with the group right?).

Again, I used to get on extremely well with one of my mates girl. E.g. keeping in touch on the phone every now and again chatting about how things are going with her, me and people within our social circle. She set me up with someone at her engagement party and then again with someone else at a BBQ when they bought a new house.

If the rapport is high, these girlfreinds of your freinds will be speaking highly of you and inviting you to gatherings.

 

[DonJoseCantosie]

I also want to try more solo stuff...I just gotta get my mind away from the "it looks creepy" attitude. I don't go to bars, but I do go to nightclubs. Since I am looking for a LTR though, I don't think the nightclub scene is the best place to find the type of girl I am looking for right now.

Here's the thing, you are creepy! Any man who's great with women and does things that are not normal to society, are creepy. Do not fear that label because if the woman likes us, we're sexy....if she doesn't like us...we're creepy lol really says alot about how most women have the emotional maturity of a little kid. But your right, Night club is not the best for an LTR BUT still is a place worth trying for it. Try day game?

Also, this question is a little off topic but what do you guys think about dating older women? I mean, more specifically a 18-20ish year old dating a 21-year old (or slightly above)? The real issue that sticks out with me is drinking (I personally don't "drink drink" but I am not totally opposed to it either). I can see it being awkward that the girl can go out drinking at bars and whatnot while you can't (or may not want to).

I've seen it at colleges before. Its not big deal unless you make it that way.

The reason I am asking is because I met this great girl who's new at work today and she's attractive and has a great personality (personality=the hard thing to come across). We were flirting and she seemed to be giving me signals (I guess I'm handsome? ). However, the age thing applies. I was really close to asking for her number after we clocked out but because there were coworkers around (and she mentioned she was drinking this weekend), I backed down (or chickened out). What should I do for this situation? Not go for her?

Thanks!

I can't say much here since im paranoid about going after girls in the work place eventhough i shouldn't be lol.