Friends... hard to find! Help

[CCKazi007]

I'm sick of this! I'm trying to improve my social circle and get some good loyal friends like the ones I had in middleschool but it's been so hard since I've moved to this sh*tty HS. Everyone already know each other and developed cliques and seem to hate new comers. I know people and I actually sit with people and socialize during lunch but when it comes to after school and weekends I end up watching TV/Movies and do nothing I haven't been invited to a single party over the summer! which pisses me off cuz that's all the people talk about. Everyone seem to already hang out with their group and just get drunk/high every weekend! All I want is a few friends who will play sports, go clubbing and help me improve myself. I can carry on a convo for about 20 minutes but they just aren't interested in me so I have to keep asking quetions about them and they seem to be bored.

Damn this seems like a rant so I'll cut the BS and ask the quetion! How fast do you ask for someone's contact info like phonenumber or email? do you usually initiate and lastly what do you usually do with your friends? Sorry I'm AFC and just need help so I would appreciate any insight.

 

[theory of knowledge]

same problem here, my friends are all afcs or smoke pot or have no backbone, but they are still my friends and i shouldn't be saying this about them...oh well

in order to improve your social circle you must improve yourself--"if you desire love you must deserve to be loved"--casanova

i bet you wouldn't want to make friends with loosers or people worse than you, you may try to help them, or take advantage of them, but you will never have respect for them enough for an enriching, fulfilling friendship.

what i did was to improve myself, get a job (i work as sales at a clothing store, this way i met many outgoing metrosexual ppl ) work out, ask ppl to spot you in the gym, (i made quite a few friends that way), i also tried new things like horseback riding, wind surfing, hiking, swimming in lakes. etc---must are cheap, and only cost about 100-200 dollars (even if you don't make friends, don't worry, at least you have something interesting to tell others--but don't show off, showing off is very easy to do)

be friendly but not needy, other guys will think you are gay or something if you get all caught up in the moment. i still have trouble asserting my authority over a big group, but at least i no longer get pushed around or is just a silent follower.

i made a post about how to develop acquantances into friends, drew very favourable responses, look for it.

best of luck.

 

[CCKazi007]

Damn ya I really think I've been too needy and been asking for too much and didn't offer much in return. I guess I have to find more hobbies and socialize more to find people who share the same qualities and stuff.

 

[crossboss]

Build up slowly over time

Don't jump the gun, and ask to be invited to a party. Just start talking to a few people on a regular basis, then if you see them in the hall start talking to them. Eventually once they feel they know you, you can ask them to hang out.

Also don't assume nobody likes you.

 

[hope7]

Do sports. I remember my football and wrestling teams were really close.

Join certain clubs. Clubs that do stuff in a group and do retreats and camps. I knew a girl who sent to a rotary club leadership camp and she said it was the best thing she's ever experianced, like it was the best bonding experiance ever.

All the honor's kids were pretty close. Even if you don't make friends that way, you'll end up going to a university where you might able to meet real people.

I remember a tactic I used when I moved to a new middle school was to notice where a buncha people eat at a regular basis. Then, at lunch, I would get there first and start eating like it was just a random spot I chose to eat at, then people would take notice of me once they got there. In highschool and college though, I'd guess people would just move to another spot.

Keep this in mind, everyone in your highschool may be a ****. Thats how it was for me, and I felt like a loser till i got to college and met real people.

 

[Cod3r]

Good friends are hard to come by, you don't just ask someone to 'spot you' in the gym and get a friend...

Took me 3 years to find 2 life-long friends... that's all I got... finally woke up and realized that those 'other friends' are just to soothe your ego and make your myspace page a little more robust... don't need that in my life at this time.


-Cod3r