Friends got into drinking and drugs... What to do?

[ThatGuyOverThere]

Let me start this off by saying that I don't drink or do drugs. My father has never had a sip of alcohol in his life, and so far neither I nor any of my siblings have either (includes a 19-year-old brother and a 16-year-old brother). Fortunately, all throughout highschool, I had found a group of friends who also didn't drink or do drugs.

However, graduation was less than two weeks ago, and now every single one of my friends are now huge drinkers (really started around prom). They talk about going drinking or smoking weed all the time, and I've even been excluded from several activities because they know I don't drink. I've now rectified the situation so that they will still invite me to these drinking functions, but I still have a problem.

They are planning on drinking very regularly, which means that most of the time I'm going to be hanging out with them now I'll be the only sober one there. As I have said before, I haven't really had much experience being around drunk people, because my friends have only recently got into it. Now, I know some of you will just say to start drinking with them, but that isn't really realistic for a couple of reasons. First, there is immense pressure in my family not to drink, and I don't really want to be the first to "break the tradition". Second, even if I just said "To hell with it" and drank, there is absolutely no way I'd be able to hide it from my parents. My mother has the nose of a dog and now hounds me every night I get home, and I'm also a bad liar. However, now that all my friends have become obsessed with it, I've recently become plagued by a curiousity of what it's like to be drunk. I have no idea how to satisfy this desire. What should I do?

 

[Teflon_Mcgee]

First, realize that being a man means making your own decisions.

Second, decide if hanging around with drunk or losers is what you want to do.

Third, decide whether your friends are turning into drunks and losers dependant on illicit substances or they are just haveing fun.

And lastly, don't think just because you don't drink you are any better than them.

I'm not sure what your exact question is other than asking for opinions on getting drunk.

You not drinking because it "breaks tradition" is just as bad as you giving in to peer pressure and doing it just because your friends are.

As you are underage I'd say stay away for now. Nothing good can come from it.

But I know the reality.

If you want to do it because you truly want to do it, then do it.
As human beings we are curious and experience only enhances our lives.

The experience of getting drunk will do you no great harm as long as you stay somewhere safe and keep it moderate.

You are obviously biased against alcohol due to your upbringing.
There is a certain dogmatic process responsible for your attitude towards drinking.

It sounds like your friends are sheep. You too can choose to be sheep with your friends or parents or you can choose to experience and decide for yourself.

As long as you always strive for improvement, rid from your life the things that are barriers to excellence, and assess yourself regularly, drinking will do you no harm.

 

[Redsand426]

There is no problem with having a drink or two to get your buzz on and have a good time, however I can tell you that getting drunk is NOT fun. I've been drunk a few times in my life (I'm 20) and now I never want to drink again, especially after the last time (year ago)... i was throwing up and my head was spinning out of control, I don't think i've ever been so uncomfortable.

I'm glad I tried it though because now I know what I'm NOT missing out on, but like I said, there is no problem having a drink or two every once in awhile.

As far as the weed goes, stay away from it. You will lose many oppurtunities in life if you always have weed in your system.

 

[Guy Incognito]

If you're going to college and want to have an active social life, drink. You'll miss a lot if you don't.

Some people can get by without it, but that's more the exception than the rule. Most people in college won't trust people who don't drink.

I love drinking. I have a blast doing so.

And regarding marijuana. who cares. Its a novelty at first. It just makes you sleepy and not want to do anything. I'll only want to smoke if I'm hanging out, listening to music.

 

[ThatGuyOverThere]

First, realize that being a man means making your own decisions.

It's not that simple. My parents are strict and I more or less live under their rules until I am able to live on my own. Hell, they force me to get a haircut every three weeks, so right now I can't even decide for myself if I want to grow my hair out. I've spent lots of time trying to push the limits, but they are there for the time being. College should be a lot better in this regard.

Second, decide if hanging around with drunk or losers is what you want to do.

Third, decide whether your friends are turning into drunks and losers dependant on illicit substances or they are just haveing fun.

They are just having fun. They aren't drinking to the point of passing out and puking everywhere, its mostly for ****s and giggles.

And lastly, don't think just because you don't drink you are any better than them.

I've been working on this. As you said, I've become biased against alcohol due to my upbringing, and I honestly have looked down on teens who drink (especially those "let's get totally ****ing blasted!" types). I've even told people to their face that I respect them less because they started drinking (oops... ). But I'm changing that quickly, as I've seen my brother alienate himself from other people over this issue. I do not want become bitter and cynical over this.

I'm not sure what your exact question is other than asking for opinions on getting drunk.

You not drinking because it "breaks tradition" is just as bad as you giving in to peer pressure and doing it just because your friends are.

As you are underage I'd say stay away for now. Nothing good can come from it.

But I know the reality.

If you want to do it because you truly want to do it, then do it.
As human beings we are curious and experience only enhances our lives.

The experience of getting drunk will do you no great harm as long as you stay somewhere safe and keep it moderate.

You are obviously biased against alcohol due to your upbringing.
There is a certain dogmatic process responsible for your attitude towards drinking.

It sounds like your friends are sheep. You too can choose to be sheep with your friends or parents or you can choose to experience and decide for yourself.

As long as you always strive for improvement, rid from your life the things that are barriers to excellence, and assess yourself regularly, drinking will do you no harm.

To be honest, I'm not exactly sure what my question is either, I'm just confused on what I want to do. I really am curious about the sensation of being drunk, but at the same time I really enjoy being "in control" and don't find alcohol to be all that appealing. I just want to experience so I can make an informed decision about where I want to go with this.

As far as the weed goes, stay away from it. You will lose many oppurtunities in life if you always have weed in your system.

And regarding marijuana. who cares. Its a novelty at first. It just makes you sleepy and not want to do anything. I'll only want to smoke if I'm hanging out, listening to music.

Drinking is one thing, smoking is something else entirely. I've always hated the smell of cigarettes, and find smoking to be disgusting. I see no appeal to doing it either.

 

[Maxtro]

First of all you're underage and really shouldn't be drinking illegally. Good job on not having a drink so far. Since you and your friends are all underage the only functions they are going to are house parties, unless they have fake I.D's.

I have been drunk twice in my life and they were both very unpleasant experiences I don't want to go though again. I have nothing against alcohol but I do not enjoy the taste of beer and most hard drinks. I will have a drink once in a great while but I am sure to not get drunk.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

SIMPLE!

the easiest place to do it is right in your own home.

just get some orange juice and vodka, sneak it into your house and into your room at night, and make a screwdriver.

do it late at night when your parents are asleep.

it should get you drunk pretty quickly.

the first time being drunk is great.

the only problem is getting the vodka. you better have friends with the hookups.

 

[SinJester]

Don't do it if you don't want to. If you cave into peer pressure you'll regret it.

I'm 17. All my mates started drinking including me for awhile, and now some are even doing weed (which I wont touch). It was fun as hell, first time drunk was one of the best night of my life, first time drunk at a party I hooked up with 2 chicks at the same time. That being said you will do things you regret, you will feel extremely sick the morning after and the guilt from your parents will eat you up inside even if you don't realize.

I've gave up drinking now. I don't want to use it as a crutch for socialising like almost everyone does. Most people in society can't hook up or have a good time unless they are drunk. I don't want to be like that. Now when I turn 18 (legal age here) I will drink and wont have to feel guilty about it. The thing is I wont be getting drunk every night in the hope of getting laid.

You should do want YOU want. Not your friends. Not your parents. Just be aware of the consequences of each. Would you feel bad about drinking if you were legal?

 

[dakota]

Hey TGOT,
Do not listen to the BS from the posters who say you should drink. You will not miss out on things.. in college or otherwise. I was always, and still mostly am a non drinker.. the phrase I like to use is " some things are better never started" There are immense potentially negative consequences when it comes to drinking and drugs.... unforeseeable consequences... and not worth the risk in my humble opinion. For every 1 person who says " gee whiz I wish I had started drinking/drugs earlier in life.. there will be 99 others who will say they would rather never started. Be anti peer pressure. Do you own thing while hanging with your friends and they will respect you for it. In college.. all my friends drank.. and they NEVER tried to pressure me into drinking because, as one stated so well,.. that would be to disrespect me.

 

[kalash74]

ThatGuy:
Let me tell you a little story about myself. I used to be very much like you (up to around prom time junior year actually). I used to look down upon kids who drank and I used to have friends that didn't drink either. I went to Europe that spring and had my first drinks, and got drunk for the first times in my life. It was extremely fun because I was with friends and surrounded by beautiful European girls.

After I got back to the states we had prom. People had heard of my exploits in Europe and I got invited to a drinking party after. I got really drunk and ended up throwing up everywhere before I passed out at about 5am...outside in the rain. After that my friends and I started drinking together all the time, I'm talking two times per weekend, going to work hungover every weekend/still drunk sometimes.

I had a run in with police for underage drinking during that summer, but they let me off with a warning. I should have stopped then, but I only took a few weeks off and got back into drinking again. I then got caught for underage drinking again, and stopped for a few weeks again. Now I have started drinking yet again, but not that much...only a few beers each night of the weekend.

The problems that I would like to bring up, and why I told this whole story to you is that once your friends and you start drinking together, you will get used to just drinking every weekend. The high school party scene can be extremely fun and addictive but you need to think of the risks. If you are caught drinking underage you can lose some opportunities in your future. Also if you drink you do stupid things, like make embarassing phone calls, and if you are stupid like I was you will drive. Sometimes I didn't even remember driving home the night before. It is a miracle I didn't hurt anyone. Luckily I will never do that again, it just isn't worth it.

As for my family, my parents used to pressure me to be sober, but once I started drinking they said it was okay as long as I didn't drive or so it at my house. Your parents might be okay with it if you explain the situation to them.

As to what I recommend, you should get drunk one time...see if you like it or not. Just don't make a habit out of it. AND NEVER DRIVE AFTER YOU HAVE BEEN DRINKING!

 

[SinJester]

Gotta give a congrats to dekota for that post. Don't listen to people who say you miss out on so much from not drinking. To them it's just a crutch and I bet they can't socialise without it. On the other hand you can't reject it completely untill you have tried it. Remember if you drink you don't have to get absolutely smashed. You can just a few drinks you know.

It's fun and addictive at first but after some incidients you might realize how stupid it is too. By the way a lot of popular people I know don't drink, but these are the guys who can have fun sober! I don't get guys who go to parties and don't drink and just stand there quietly all night. I made a descision about who I wanted to be, and that didn't involve heavy drinking. I can't strees enough how much of a crutch it is.

People shouldn't say 'dude you HAVE to drink' but they shouldn't say 'look don't ever drink!' either. You have got to make that desicison yourself. As long as you are responsible and informed. Just because you aren't drinking doesn't mean you can't have fun, the guys will probably appreciate a sober person there to look after them. It might not be as 'fun' but you can come accross as alpha. You never come accross as good as you think you do when your drunk, you just feel invinsible. I found that when you are drunk you should stay away from sober people, but when your sober you wont appreciate drunk people nearly as much.