I'm one of those people who gives a chance for friends to become more, but I definitely think it's a small percentage that seems to think that way. I think that the media sometimes plays a role in this because girl see these puppy-love or whatever movies and they take those ideas and incorporate them in their actual lives. Most of these movies involve a girl and a guy with sexual tension and both are friends and don't want to act on it because they don't want to spoil the relationship.
HERE'S THE PROBLEM: people look so far into the future that they're actually thinking about what might happen if they break up with a friend rather than just living in the present. The issue is always "I don't want to lose a good friendship".
My question is, why is this even something to consider unless you two were not meant to be with each other in the first place?? The whole "I don't want to lose a good friendship" is a total cop-out facade that can be translated into "I'm not attracted to you". It's more ambiguous, let-them-off easy chicken sh*t. Bottom line is, if I were great friends with a girl, I'm not risking anything except possibly passing up a girl that I could be with for the rest of my life. It's absurd to even consider the possibility that you two will break up in the future, because that's a given risk in ANY relationship, and you just have to suck it up if it happens. Chances are in your favor though that it won't happen if you two get along so well. I guess I just hate all the beating around the bush stuff by two people who are friends and are attracted to one another, just because other people say that it doesn't work that way. There's problems with this way of going about your life.
Now, the flip side, this isn't a good move if the girl doesn't like you, in which case, I can see that you're up sh*t creek, because your feelings are not reciprocated, and if she gives you the "I don't want to lose a good friendship" bullcrap, then basically she's saying that there's no attraction from her part.
Bottom line is that if you have a friend who is a girl and you feel that both of you want more out of the relationship, I'd say go ahead and try to move it to the next level, and forget about all this "fear of losing a friend" crap. It's just way too speculative whether anything bad will come of it, and you can bust your brains thinking about it, when you could just be enjoying living your life in the present. If that's going to hold you back, I'd say just go crawl into a hole and live your life out as a hermit, because one of the most important characteristics of a mate would have to be that they are your best friend.
HERE'S THE PROBLEM: people look so far into the future that they're actually thinking about what might happen if they break up with a friend rather than just living in the present. The issue is always "I don't want to lose a good friendship".
My question is, why is this even something to consider unless you two were not meant to be with each other in the first place?? The whole "I don't want to lose a good friendship" is a total cop-out facade that can be translated into "I'm not attracted to you". It's more ambiguous, let-them-off easy chicken sh*t. Bottom line is, if I were great friends with a girl, I'm not risking anything except possibly passing up a girl that I could be with for the rest of my life. It's absurd to even consider the possibility that you two will break up in the future, because that's a given risk in ANY relationship, and you just have to suck it up if it happens. Chances are in your favor though that it won't happen if you two get along so well. I guess I just hate all the beating around the bush stuff by two people who are friends and are attracted to one another, just because other people say that it doesn't work that way. There's problems with this way of going about your life.
Now, the flip side, this isn't a good move if the girl doesn't like you, in which case, I can see that you're up sh*t creek, because your feelings are not reciprocated, and if she gives you the "I don't want to lose a good friendship" bullcrap, then basically she's saying that there's no attraction from her part.
Bottom line is that if you have a friend who is a girl and you feel that both of you want more out of the relationship, I'd say go ahead and try to move it to the next level, and forget about all this "fear of losing a friend" crap. It's just way too speculative whether anything bad will come of it, and you can bust your brains thinking about it, when you could just be enjoying living your life in the present. If that's going to hold you back, I'd say just go crawl into a hole and live your life out as a hermit, because one of the most important characteristics of a mate would have to be that they are your best friend.
