Friends are boring and dont go out

[HBK]

Hey guys, im just wondering when u want 2 go out and meet the ladies but your mates are all staying in , or else they have girl friends what do u do?
Im 22 and it seems that most of my friends are settled down, nobody wants 2 go out much anymore besides myself. I could go out on my own, but i prefer havinh some comany as i feel less awkward when approcahing if i have social proof.
These are my last few months if college and im not content in spending them inside in my room,while my friends are in the comfort zone. Any tips?

 

[vorbis]

have you any other group you can hang out with. Have had this happen a couple of times. The people who would usually be first to go out get a gf and stop going out. It sucks but you just have to find more like minded people.

 

[HBK]

Well ive my friends at home, but in college at the moment most of my close buddies are after graduating. this year most of the boys are just quite and studying, and playing couples. I like 2 study 2 but "work hard play hard" is my motto. Its like such a struggle 2 get them out some nights. I want 2 go out 2nite , but theres nobody whos interested. I wouldnt mind scoring 2nite, but just 2 get out would be a change. I spent the last 4 weeks at exams, not its time 2 kick back and enjoy.

 

[tosh]

is it OK to go to a bar/club alone?

 

[Leuven]

Hi,

I know what you mean.

It's not always easy but since it happened several times with me, I try to prepare myself a bit ( not easy )

I see it this way, everybody is different but in the end we all want the same, and this is having a good time. For some of us that means to get laid, others are satisfied with other things.
When you are 22 ( I'm 25 so I know what I'm talking about ) it's normal that those things happen. Some have a girlfriend, some wants to do other things, ...

Tips: You say you are still a student, well try to go out with some of your classmates. I know it's not the same but this has some advantages
1* You are not sitting home alone
2* you can always meet other people
3* you're social skills won't fade away

Very important to meet new people, over and over again.
Try to make the best out of these last months of college, try to establish some friendships with who you can go out with.
Go to the pubs you went with you're other friends by yourself,
normally you will recognize someone and talk to them and learn to know them better.

My current situation.

September 2005:

1 friend always works in the weekends ( 12 hours a day ) so he is to tired to go out on friday or saturday
1 friend works as a bartender ( in a pub were the age of customers is between 40 en 70 ) so in the weekends he has to work
1 friend is on exchange program for a year ( 1500 miles from here )
1 friend doesn't want to go out anymore for some strange reason
3 of them have a girlfriend ( don't go out on their own, and when you go out with someone and his girlfriend is around, I can tell it sucks )
1 friend is getting married.

So what happened, I'm the only one of the group who's left
I started to go out to pubs I used to go and talked to some guys I know.
I've graduated 2 years ago, but thanks to msn I still got contact with some of my fellow classmates, so I arranged some reunion, which was a succes, and asked to some of them if they wanted to go out sometimes. I still go to the collegues-parties


One good advice I can give you is: Never stop living
If you feel like going out, then go out, let the fact that you are alone that night doesn't stop you. Go out on your own, you will feel like you are in a strange city and has to talk to strangers.
Try to make some new friends


Sincerely

 

[FitmanFromCgy]

im the same age as u, 11months ago when i just got in to the game i was in the same shoes as you, all my friends were boring, geeky and had a gf... after a few months of reserachin and learnin (DYD, RSD, CLIFF, ECT) i finally decided im goin to go out ALONE.

let me tell you the first 100 times its not gona be fun, but once u get your **** together, youll be UNSTOPABLE. it really does take balls to go out alone and have a great time, but the truth is after you do it enough times u get to know every player out there, almost ALL times your gona end up at some ones house or at a house party/after party ANY WAY... or your gona run in to bar friends, plus after a while of doin this ur cell is goin to be PACKED with cool peoples numbers... i am passed the go out alone stage myself but there was a time when i would actually PREFER to go out alone even when my "cool" new friends wanted to do something, even now if i really wana go and "pickup" i go all alone and then make some calls and meet people else where... reason for it is that it saves you from babysitting your wing man, or whoever is with you...

and yes if they ask you who are u here with .... you say.. IM HHERE ALL ALONE... i asked the same question (is it ok to go out alone) long time ago and realized that its not only ok, but its a great way to increase your confidence, and game the fastest way possible...

cheers
fitman

 

[resilient]

going out alone

A few Qs for you Fitman:

How'd you get the confidence to go out alone?

Did you have plenty to talk about when you cold approached a few sets?

I've read DYD, all DJ bible.. but don't have the balls yet to go out alone. I'm also young too. 24 with tone body, semi-decent 6pack, great smile and 5'9" so I don't have the hot as hell package, or communications skills yet. Plus everybody seems to be 6'0" here in Cali...

1) Did it really take you 100 times going out alone to make friends and being comfortable with it?

2) Did you begin to recognize barflys so that you felt more comfortable with where you going?

3) Lastly did you go to the same pub or did you go to different clubs and introduce yourself?

You must have had really tight inner game to improve quickly and # close people.

I hope to be there this year after pulling off a successful DJ boot camp and mastering inner game. If I have no success with sarging alone.. I think I might hit up Mysterys or RSD workshop.

From reading Style's "the game" it seems like you almost have to be a skilled magician/comedian/actor to be a good PUA and open 3-4 sets. Especially when it's 3 dudes and 2 girls. I'm also concerned that ruitines are begining to be recognized elsewhere. Style said all the girls on sunset strip had already been deliverd the "jealous girlfriend" opener.

 

[Ace of Flames]

time to get some new friends. i had the same problem once. went and sat with some different people at lunch. now everyone is kool and likes to go out. yay effort!

 

[neonlandmine]

Re: going out alone

Originally posted by resilient
A few Qs for you Fitman:

How'd you get the confidence to go out alone?

Did you have plenty to talk about when you cold approached a few sets?

I've read DYD, all DJ bible.. but don't have the balls yet to go out alone. I'm also young too. 24 with tone body, semi-decent 6pack, great smile and 5'9" so I don't have the hot as hell package, or communications skills yet. Plus everybody seems to be 6'0" here in Cali...

1) Did it really take you 100 times going out alone to make friends and being comfortable with it?

2) Did you begin to recognize barflys so that you felt more comfortable with where you going?

3) Lastly did you go to the same pub or did you go to different clubs and introduce yourself?

You must have had really tight inner game to improve quickly and # close people.

I hope to be there this year after pulling off a successful DJ boot camp and mastering inner game. If I have no success with sarging alone.. I think I might hit up Mysterys or RSD workshop.

From reading Style's "the game" it seems like you almost have to be a skilled magician/comedian/actor to be a good PUA and open 3-4 sets. Especially when it's 3 dudes and 2 girls. I'm also concerned that ruitines are begining to be recognized elsewhere. Style said all the girls on sunset strip had already been deliverd the "jealous girlfriend" opener.

Learn some magic tricks. I recommend "Street Magic" by ellusionist.com

Also, Juggler's book recommends taking an improv class. I recommend watching the DVD, "Making it up, with Wayne Brady" You can even do some of the improv exercises from DVD with people you meet at bars/clubs/parties.

And most importantly, READ. If you have something interesting to talk about it is very easy to hold a conversation with a random stranger.

 

[Gonzalo]

I feel you, man. I'm sometimes faced with the situation with my friends have to either work, GFs, etc, and can't really hang out or care to go to bars. I've been working on SS lately, and last weekend I was stucked with a decision: I can either stay at home and keep studying/memorizing material, to use it in SOME IDEAL TIME IN THE FUTURE when all the conditions became favorable and I had five choices of wingmen, a limo, and ten different venues to choose from.

Well, I thought, those conditions may as well never happen. Yet I'm still here, still young, and have all this knowledge that if I don't go out and use, is as good as crap. So I went out to a bar (helps if the place has a live band... if anything "you are there to listen to the band") and started just doing my thing. Turns out I even run into people I knew and talked to some new girls. I wouldn't say it was THE best PU night, but hey, I learned *SOMETHING* by being out there, which I wouldn't have had I stayed home watching South Park in YouTube.

For real guys, this is your time, it's all what you make out of it. People can't hang? So what? You got legs, you got $10? Then get yourself out there and get going. Hell, try even tricking yourself, like I did... I said to myself "ok, I will at LEAST try this sh1t ONCE". When I was there, and tried it once, I realized it was all good, so might as well add a second try, etc.

Your attitude should always be "let's go see what happens." Screw total amount of numbers collected. Screw number of kiss closes, and screw total number of times you were ****blocked because you were without wingman. To those of you who still wonder what it would be like to go out alone, Just go out and see what happens! Most likely you'll be pleasantly surprised.

G

 

[smoove]

Man, i feel u guys on this 100%. My buddies used to be the ones who would drag me out before but now it's like they're on a mission to become the worst wingmen in the history of wingmen LOL.

Here's something to ask yourself: when they do come out with you, what are they contributing to your PU success? Do you really NEED them if you're going out to PU? I've had my best PUs when my friends actually WEREN'T there or if they were they weren't with me at the time and I opened & closed the chick all by myself.

I get bummed out when my friends don't come with me because I'm not just there to PU, I also wanna hang with the boys and have a good time. What I've come to realise though, is the easiest way for me to still enjoy is to just find likeminded people and become friends with them. BOOM. They're the new wingmen. You're old buddies are still there whenever they're there, but you don't rely on them anymore.

In a lot of ways, this is Wingmen Onetis. Think about it. (lemme clear up that Wingmen Onetis refers to a close group, not just 1 friend...time to create a new group LOL)

 

[Leuven]

Here's something to ask yourself: when they do come out with you, what are they contributing to your PU success? Do you really NEED them if you're going out to PU? I've had my best PUs when my friends actually WEREN'T there or if they were they weren't with me at the time and I opened & closed the chick all by myself.

Very good question. I've asked it a couple of times to myself and guess what.

No, i absolutely didn't need them for my game. The ones with who I went out were even more AFC than me.
Drinking beer the whole dammed night, looking around to the girls and when they look back, they were to shy to keep locking eye contact. Starts drinking even more and then ending the night puking on the street. A good friend ( who is now for 1 year on exchange program ) has never approached a girl in a bar, and even when they approach him, he wouldn't do a thing.
I realised that my previous friends slowed my rather weak game even further.

When you go out on your own, you will be rated on how you look and behave, and not because of your friends. There is nobody of your friends to ****block you.
I find myself sometimes more relaxed when I go out on my own, why is that, well you can do what you want without anyone to disturb you. Friends won't make fun out of you when you blew it
There is noone of your friends who is standing alone and looks like he need a babysit

 

[penguin]

Same thing has happened to me, except they still go out, they have just become boring.

All my friends who have paired up are now just... dull. They never acknowledge the attractiveness of anyone except their partner, always pull out of plans to "just stay in".... even when we sit around and play poker, they have to pair up and be lovey-dovey instead of play.

And because the GFs get jelous, they are always against going anywhere where there might be women.

Which brings me to what i'm going to do, which is my suggestion to you. Go out alone, and meet people. Easy to say, a little more difficult to do. Perhaps you can sit all alone and score some sympathy friends? lol.

 

[FM 3321]

Originally posted by tosh
is it OK to go to a bar/club alone?

It is very OK.

 

[diablo]

AE...

There are several threads discussing this very issue. Here's a link to get you started:

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/search...d=501845&sortby=lastpost&sortorder=descending