Friend with benefits (Chantal)

[Santos]

Well, Chantal. The girl (17) with her BF for 11 months. Says she has feelings for me, but feels bad about leaving her BF for someone she has only known 2 weeks (LOL this DJ stuff really works). I friendzoned her first.

Then we talk on the phone a day later and she says how she's not sure if she wants to be friends, she has feelings for me. She wants me to kiss her, etc. She says she doesn't know what to do.

So the next day she phones and says "I think we should just be friends." (LOL WTF!? CONFUSED?) She says she has feelings for me, and doesn't want me to go out of her life completely but she can't leave her BF for someone she' known a little while. She says who knows what will happen in the future. I agree with her.

The NEXT DAY. I am at her house, she's sitting on my lap. Starts putting her hand up my shirt and caressing me, holding hands, wispering into my ear, using her tounge to play with my ear (told her this turns me on before.) I had a hard-on of note, so what the hell I enjoyed it. I shoulda challenged her BS right then and there, but I waited till I got home.

I text her: "What exactly do you want from me? You say one thing and do another"

Her reply: "I know I was wrong, thanks for having the decency to not do anything." WTF!?!

Attention *****? I dunno, it seems she REALLY likes me. Trust me DJ's all the signs of her attraction for me are there. She calls me everyday and even gets into fights with her BF about seeing me. I know she's attracted to me, but this whole situation is BS.

Anyway, we're "friends" again. What ever the hell that means. I just told her it will only work if both of us KNOW that friends is all we are.

Well, I'm being used. I think she liked the idea of having me in her life as a "backup" for her BF. I think she wanted to spend more time "falling in love with me"/"rating me" so she wouldn't look like the stupid skank she is when she leaves her boyfriend for her new "best friend".

I can't believe she did all that **** with me last night while she is still with her BF. And she has cheated on the poor guy before. I was actually so tempted to try and get laid by this chick, or at least have some sort of a fling. I wish I did. Although, I'm a virgin and it might get me too emotionally involved with her. Well I suppose she's an attention ***** who has feelings for me.

I'm so dissapointed, she has all these great qualities about her. Yet she just wants to play around with me. Enjoy that she has this "hot guy" wrapped round her finger. Well. She can F__K OFF!

I'm totally freind-zoning her now. Time to get on with my life. Being a virgin at 21, I have no time to waste!

NEXT PLEASE!
Santos

 

[es_mer8]

Good for you. There are millions of women out there that you can have and thousands that are attractive. You will find out that attention wh0res like these just like having you around to make herself feel better. If her boyfriend treats her like the hairs on his ass, she runs to her boy toy to get some affection.

You should feel good about yourself now. You deserve it.

 

[Ashlee Angel]

Santos,


If she kept playing me with this on again off again friendship sh!t. I would play her.


I would bang her and then tell her a few days later. That we tried the sex thing and it's not woking I think it's better to just be friends.

She is not the type for a LTR because she's cheated on her man and she is too much of a flirt.


It's up too you I don't see why you would want to remain friends with her. I see no point but it's up to you.

 

[Eternal]

Woah! Am I the only person that sees something wrong here? 21 year old guy with a 17 year old girl...

 

[Santos]

Originally posted by crazykid
Woah! Am I the only person that sees something wrong here? 21 year old guy with a 17 year old girl...

She's almost 18,I just turned 21, she's not a virgin. Well what does it matter, nothings gonna happen. My friend has said to me before that girls that young don't know what they want. He's right. next!

 

[Allstar69]

Santos i am in the same situation as you. But i am 22 and have been a dj for a couple years, in that i am getting laid and my heart is tucked away at home while my penis is out on lease whenever i hang out with my "friend".

Would you should do is play hot and cold. For instance, call her and say "tell your husband your tired tonight so i can pick you up at 11 without interference". When you pick her up seduce her sexually and give her an orgasm during sex (see my post on "the greatest sex trick ever" which will help you give her an orgasm and make her a repeat adulturer). After sex kiss her and bring her home, then do not call her ever again. She will definatly call you and when she does blow her off. Wait 4 days and call her saying "baby. tell your jealous parole officer that your tired tonight and I will see you at 11) REPEAT WHAT YOU DID ON THE LAST ENCOUNTER OR DATE>. You are now classically conditioning her to think of you as an orgasmic ecperience and someone to bring her fun and excitement, that of which her AFC boyfriend isn't.

Like me I am banging this girl left and right whenevr I want, and get this, she is begging me that if she breaks up with her current boyfriend I would be her new bf. My natural DJ response is, nah stay with your boyfriend, you couldnt handle me.

 

[Ded_Skin_Mask13]

dude just bang her, move on and shut the f*ck up about this chick. Its old......good way of handling the situation though

 

[The Real Deal]

What Ded said.

 

[Ronin I]

Originally posted by Allstar69
Santos i am in the same situation as you. But i am 22 and have been a dj for a couple years, in that i am getting laid and my heart is tucked away at home while my penis is out on lease whenever i hang out with my "friend".

Would you should do is play hot and cold. For instance, call her and say "tell your husband your tired tonight so i can pick you up at 11 without interference". When you pick her up seduce her sexually and give her an orgasm during sex (see my post on "the greatest sex trick ever" which will help you give her an orgasm and make her a repeat adulturer). After sex kiss her and bring her home, then do not call her ever again. She will definatly call you and when she does blow her off. Wait 4 days and call her saying "baby. tell your jealous parole officer that your tired tonight and I will see you at 11) REPEAT WHAT YOU DID ON THE LAST ENCOUNTER OR DATE>. You are now classically conditioning her to think of you as an orgasmic ecperience and someone to bring her fun and excitement, that of which her AFC boyfriend isn't.

Like me I am banging this girl left and right whenevr I want, and get this, she is begging me that if she breaks up with her current boyfriend I would be her new bf. My natural DJ response is, nah stay with your boyfriend, you couldnt handle me.

AllStar - I have to admit this is great advice - but not for Santos.

Santos is nowhere near the type of DJ to be able to pull that off (no offense Santos).

Santos - this girl is 17/18 and is absolutely clueless. You are right when you say she has no idea what she wants. So you have to TELL her what she wants. When I say TELL her I don't necessarily mean verbally. Let your actions speak. If you want a physical relationship - well then you need to be a man and step up and take what you want.

Stop pu$$yfooting around. Step up and make something happen.

Of course in the mean time yu ahould be sarging as many other chicks as you possibly can - but I'm sure you knew that already.

 

[TesuqueRed]

Santos, man, she's doing a lap dance at her house on you and you do nothing!--????

I mean, she's wondering if a personal, extended lap dance can't get him to make move, what will??? Wuss boy--that's what she's thinking.

And then you go home, get on the phone and talk about it??? You discussed it before, made no move during, and then talk some more afterwards.

And then have another phone conversation.

And then talk about it more when you meet up.

Santos---start slapping your forehead hard and repeatedly till you clearly see what you blew. (Big hint---bigger than your boner you wasted that day--"look at what they do, not what they say"...)

All of her declarations that "I've just known you for 2 weeks", "I would, but I have a BF..", "LJBF...Ok?" is ASD-positioning. She's establishing her cover story so it's not her fault. With that in place she can now HOLD THE DOOR WIDE OPEN for you to make a move. And her followup ASD cover story will be that it was something that "just happened, it wasn't planned, she couldn't resist, all of a sudden there they were..." etc.

She wants to be taken, dude, as in "Me Tarzan, you Jane"--she doesn't want some extended contractual negotiation over the phone.

Sure, maybe she'll stop the proceedings--after you get past 2nd base, probably 3rd base and are on the home stretch. She'll get you stoked and nearly there and then stop it and make you wait for the next time. And she'll test you by trying to call you and backing off from it (next phone call: "It's LJBF--this time we mean it, Ok?"...) while secretly wanting you to break thru her defences next time.

Or maybe she won't control herself and you'll get a homerun, who knows? You will most definitely be roundin' 2nd base at full gallop, though.

STOP with the endless discussion about what it is, what it isn't, what's allowed, what are the rules, how it would be nice otherwise---STOP! NO MORE! End the conversation, get off the phone, grab her by the hand and take her out to do something active and fun, but no more blabbing.

This girl PLAYS!

 

[Parvane]

To Santos

Santos my friend, you've just been Donna Juan'ed.

 

[Santos]

Originally posted by TesuqueRed
Santos, man, she's doing a lap dance at her house on you and you do nothing!--????

I mean, she's wondering if a personal, extended lap dance can't get him to make move, what will??? Wuss boy--that's what she's thinking.

And then you go home, get on the phone and talk about it??? You discussed it before, made no move during, and then talk some more afterwards.

And then have another phone conversation.

And then talk about it more when you meet up.

Santos---start slapping your forehead hard and repeatedly till you clearly see what you blew. (Big hint---bigger than your boner you wasted that day--"look at what they do, not what they say"...)

All of her declarations that "I've just known you for 2 weeks", "I would, but I have a BF..", "LJBF...Ok?" is ASD-positioning. She's establishing her cover story so it's not her fault. With that in place she can now HOLD THE DOOR WIDE OPEN for you to make a move. And her followup ASD cover story will be that it was something that "just happened, it wasn't planned, she couldn't resist, all of a sudden there they were..." etc.

She wants to be taken, dude, as in "Me Tarzan, you Jane"--she doesn't want some extended contractual negotiation over the phone.

Sure, maybe she'll stop the proceedings--after you get past 2nd base, probably 3rd base and are on the home stretch. She'll get you stoked and nearly there and then stop it and make you wait for the next time. And she'll test you by trying to call you and backing off from it (next phone call: "It's LJBF--this time we mean it, Ok?"...) while secretly wanting you to break thru her defences next time.

Or maybe she won't control herself and you'll get a homerun, who knows? You will most definitely be roundin' 2nd base at full gallop, though.

STOP with the endless discussion about what it is, what it isn't, what's allowed, what are the rules, how it would be nice otherwise---STOP! NO MORE! End the conversation, get off the phone, grab her by the hand and take her out to do something active and fun, but no more blabbing.

This girl PLAYS!

Hey, thanks for this reply. I never read it until now. Normally I check all my posts for updates, but I missed this one somehow. You've described her game-plan perfectly, you're an incredible DJ! Oh well, at least I made out with her now Let's hope I can get a little more before she goes running back to her BF.

Initially I was way too AFC, complementing her a lot. But I saw that it was making her more interested in me, which made me realise she just liked the attention.

Thanks!
Santos

 

[Helter Skelter]

If your a virgin don't have sex with her, you COULD develop feelings for her from it since it's your first time which could put you in a bad state.

Save it for someone who won't screw up your head.

 

[Santos]

Originally posted by Helter Skelter
If your a virgin don't have sex with her, you COULD develop feelings for her from it since it's your first time which could put you in a bad state.

Save it for someone who won't screw up your head.

If I did have sex with her. Would the fact that I'm the second guy she slept with mean anything to her? I think she is staying with her BF cos' she lost her virginity with him. She goes and meets guys she finds attractive, has her fling. And then goes back to her BF telling herself she still loves him.

When I asked her if she regretted losing her virginity. She said, "I regretted the age, not the person." and she was saying how her BF accused her of sleeping with him just to lose her virginity. I find that people's insecurities are as plain as day if you're paying attention. She keeps bringing losing her virginity up. Just like she brought up "we're just friends" "I've only known you a short while", "this isn't right" - right before she stuck her tounge down my throat. She's aslo said before "I could be your first, Santos." While we were "friends".

Anyway, you are probablly right about me developing feelings for her if I slept with her.

It's really weird how some people are so messed up in the head. What annoys me is I've seen the other side of her - funny, intelligent, sensitive. But I don't actually know or care what the truth is anymore. What other lies has she told me?

Thanks!
Santos

 

[iqqi]

Originally posted by Santos
If I did have sex with her. Would the fact that I'm the second guy she slept with mean anything to her?

Santos. She has cheated on that guy, you said, like 4 times. And he was her 1st. Do you really think you'll get more respect just because you are her 2nd?

she's bad news right now. bad news.

 

[myfriendblu]

Originally posted by crazykid
Woah! Am I the only person that sees something wrong here? 21 year old guy with a 17 year old girl...

I don't see anything wrong with that. If the age of consent in his state is 16, which it is for several states, i say bang her and bang her good. I would .

 

[TesuqueRed]

Santos--from what you've told us, her only value and availability for you is for trophy purposes only. Put any move meaning or value into this and you're dead meat.

If you need to put a notch on--er--your pistol handle, go for it. If not, let this one drift by.

Sometimes I've taken trophies, most times I'm not into it--which is to say, if she passes my physical standards, I am either willing to pay the cost or not (not talking $$$ here--it's all the other costs.) Usually I'm not willing to pay it (skinflint here..) but occasionally I am.

For yourself--you decide. Fvck her--you get a notch on--uh--the pistol handle and pay the price. If you're not up for that, let her go.

I never know how I'll act until the moment before I make a move.