Friend who just don't "get it".... (c***blocking)

[TommiV]

Hey guys,
I've said before I have a bunch of friends *****ally aren't good at this but the more I start trying here the more I find them to be a problem.

For instance, everyone has nicknames, but they insist on using this really weird name they have for me infront of girls. Even if the girl says "Oh hey Tommi", they HAVE to butt in going... "No, no, thats not his name , its <nickname>, call him <nickname>".
Then the usual is they have to ask "why are you called that". The real answer is there is no reason other than a guy I used to go to school with just randomly thought it up years ago. Its just a dumb nickname but it annoys me that they aren't too bothered with it until we are infront of women and then they INSIST everyone calls me it. And lets just say, if *I* was a girl, I wouldn't exactly want my boyfriend to be called this.

Then theres this situation last week. I went playing pool with a few buddies, one of their girl friends and one of her friends. Now this other girl was cool enough. We chatted a bit but this other friend of mine just kept butting in with dumbass stories. I mean after getting some good conversation going with her my friend would jump in and try telling all these embarrassing stories from like them I was 13. He insisted on telling a story to her about how I once made myself sick drinking (hasn't everyone at one point when they're young? but it was years ago and I'd never let myself drink too much now). But what was worse is he went into all sort of sh*t made-up detail, telling her about when and where it happened, telling her I puked all over myself, told her I puked on a taxi driver... I mean WTF?? She was just like "Ew, thats disgusting" and this girl I had actually built a little bit of interest in was now looking at me like I've 10 heads.

So fine, I let it go and eventually later on tried talking to her without them again which went ok, she seemed to forget about it. It was getting late and the girls suggested we go to a club, so we say ok. I try my absolute best to chat to this girl all night and all my friends would do is butt in, tell bullsh*t stories to embarrass me or at least make me look retarded. If I got up to get adrinks or anything they'd take my seat next to her.
I try to get her to come dancing since she was asking her female friend to go but she was busy with her boyfriend, but my friend just keep cutting me off.


Then to top it off, on the way home this friend turns to me and says "So, whats the deal with you and <girls name>? You seemed to be getting along quite cosy in there"... I'm like "WTF dude?"



Thats just one example, but that seems to be their general attitude with women, if we don't know them they just stand and stare, if we ARE around women they have to act all childish and do their best to make me out to be a clown it feels.


What do you do with guys like this? I mean, its not like they get much action themselves acting like this but now that I'm actually TRYING to improve, I find them a constant nuisance.
And then, well, its either that or try going out alone... much better?

 

[cant think of a user name]

Hey man you should be flattered!

They see you are improving and chatting up the girls and they want a bit of the action too. Only problem is they are being a bit silly going about it the way they are.

How old are they? This sort of situation kinda sounds like tenth grade.

 

[SELF-MASTERY]

Amog

 

[JJMcLure]

Unfortunately, some people will hold you back (some even deliberately) as you improve yourself. You have to make a choice there on whether it's worth keeping them around.

You're pals are AMOGing you. If one comes out with some sh1tty comment/story to diss you, cut him off and respond back with something better (think one thing up in advance for each of these problem friends) and get the chick laughing at him. That shouldn't be a problem as it's you she has some level of connection with not him. Or plain out insult him right there (not in an aggressive way, just a way you could laugh it off - which makes it harder for him to respond as if he's offended. If he acts offended, be like oh can't you take a joke - which makes him look even worse). So long as you get the ****blocker out of your face, you're all good. He may be like WTF?!, but you'll still look like the alpha in front of the chick.

Think about it, if even your friends ridicule you in front of strangers, she will think how can this guy get any respect from anyone else either? Mystery and Style push the idea of accomplishment intros - you introduce and talk about your wingman in a POSTIVE light, and social proof him. What your friends are doing is the exact opposite and it won't help you.

 

[WC2]

If anything, your friends should be helping you. Girls can sense the difference between a guy who has his **** together, and some guy who's throwing in his 2 cents just to embarass someone. Ontop of that, don't be embarassed about your stories. It's who you are. Having someone tell people about it makes you look like you're even more of a big deal. Just because it's embarassing, doesn't mean it's turning off the ladies.

 

[piterx]

maybe you must consider to make a serious talk with them about the problem.. like a man ~ do it assertively..

 

[milrenkb]

maybe you must consider to make a serious talk with them about the problem.. like a man ~ do it assertively..

What good is talking to them like a man going to do when they act like children?

I would bring them along slowly, if at all. Once this stuff gets harnassed it becomes really powerful, like a social machine gun. You don't want it falling into the wrong hands.

The main concern being that they won't approve of the 'ethics' and everytime you approach they will become extreme ****blockers. This is why I've had a trouble bringing my own friends into the loop. I give them a piece of advice here and there that they agree with, and then all of a sudden when I think they're ready they go off saying something like "No man, I was raised to respect women." To which I bury my hands into face and start to cry. Some people just don't get it.

 

[TommiV]

I'm used to laughing things off, usually it doesn't bother me but its just seems more and more like they just do it deliberately. And just exxaggerate it so much and go on and on...

Its good to be able to laugh it off since I think it looks better than getting mad or defensive about it but still, wouldn't you prefer for people to portraay you in a better light, its not very appealing to women I'm sure if these dumb stories are being told.

Everyone has stupid stories from their teenage years they might think is dumb now but I never did anything really dumb, its just that they HAVE to tell it and exaggerate it it to make it look much worse. Its just annoying, man!

The worst bit is the nickname though. How do you get people to stop calling you a nickname? I hate having to laugh it off because its really dumb and it is REALLY not a sort of name a DJ wants to be called IMO... how do you ween people off it?

The other option is just forget them and start going out myself, I tried it once or twice before but its hard to stay in good form to approach when u feel a bit stupid being alone.

 

[milrenkb]

I'm used to laughing things off, usually it doesn't bother me but its just seems more and more like they just do it deliberately. And just exxaggerate it so much and go on and on...

Its good to be able to laugh it off since I think it looks better than getting mad or defensive about it but still, wouldn't you prefer for people to portraay you in a better light, its not very appealing to women I'm sure if these dumb stories are being told.


The other option is just forget them and start going out myself, I tried it once or twice before but its hard to stay in good form to approach when u feel a bit stupid being alone.

I like your attitude. Its refreshing to see someone that shares my views on dealing with stress once in a while.

As for your friends and their stupid nicknames, well I suggest you just start hanging out with some other people. After a while they'll start blowing up your phone and when you finally do return they'll probably be on their best behavior. If not then do it all over again until they eventually become phased out. Its amazing how powerful a freezeout can be.

Another thing....in all honesty my best nights of pickups came when I went out alone. Not only did I meet women but I also made some cool friends. Ironically my best night came when my friends told me they didn't have any money or time to join me. Ironically at the end of the night they came to where I was at so I don't know if it counts as a whole night alone, but nevertheless....