Friend visiting next week

[white cloud 8]

Hi,

One of my (girl) friends is visiting not this week but, the week after and she is here for a couple of days (note: she is not staying with me). Anyway, in her email that she sent me talking about how she had to kick her boyfriend out for something and that she would tell me about it when she gets here (ugh....I don't want to hear this sh*t ). What should I do when she starts to tell me about that crap? Should I listen and give my opinion or should I give advice (although I have read in the DJB not to stand for this type of crap because she has girlfriends whom she could talk to about this, right?). I don't want to sound like a complete a**hole to her either because she is a really sweet girl. Some advice, please?

BTW: everytime she visits she always asks me if there are any girls I am seeing (I guess out of curiousity :rollseyes and I tell her but, this year there was one girl whom caught my attention (that girl I was posting about, the one from South Africa) and I am really attracted to her but, if I go into why I like her does that sort of make me look like a p*ssy because I haven't asked her out yet, and, my friend will think I'm a p*ssy too?

~thanx

 

[flexion_]

Tell her to talk to her girlfriends about her guy problems. "Don't you have any girlfriends you can talk to about this stuff??"

 

[white cloud 8]

Is there another way of saying it without sounding like an a**hole because I don't want to offend her? Also, when she asks me about girls that have peeked my interest, should I just be nonchalant about it?

BTW: she is 22 (why is it that the majority of the girls I know are older than me?)

 

[white cloud 8]

So any other advice? Please?

 

[white cloud 8]

Although I just seen my friend for a couple of minutes yesterday, she gave me a hug (I haven't seen her in a year). It felt good to hold her for those few seconds (I also smelled the fragrance she always wears 'Clinique Happy'). Anyway, tonight I gave her a call and the thing about her ex-boyfriend....she told me one night she got super drunk and when she got home her ex-boyfriend tried to take advantage of her (to be blunt: he tried to rape her) . Seriously, thats not cool, and, I told her that. Thinking about it now, it actually bothers me because she is a really sweet girl and I care for her (mixed feelings still . For her telling me this does it show that she trusts me? Also, she added that (when we were going to go out to a nightclub but, we didn't get a chance to) that its not like I don't trust you (she trusts me). So should I just be there for her (don't be like all the other guys that are just trying to f*** her) but be genuine with her (which I am already doing...I think). How can I stand out from the rest (keep in mind that I only see her once or twice a year) I will see her again in June though. I know this is a silly, stupid thing to ask but, I should never ask her if there was chance that we might have hooked up (or if I ever had a chance) it just sounds desperate and pathetic, right? The reason why I ask is back in 2003 she was getting really sweet on me but, I didn't man up and do anything about it. I don't even know if she knew what she wanted either. What should I do with her (keep her as a friend or in the back of my mind)? I was fine this year, I met new girls and it seems only when she visits that those past feelings I have for her pop up and bothers me .

What are other peoples opinions on this situation?

 

[white cloud 8]

Some advice, please?

 

[white cloud 8]

I guess it would be totally stupid of me and probably wreck any future chance if I text message her on her cell about my feelings for her but, I need to get it off my chest some how......BAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

If I do this will she probably act weird around me from now on? Man, I got it bad....

 

[JonJack]

Dude. If things get wrecked, so be it. Don't take it too seriously man. That's when you start doing things that you'll probably regret. Unless of course you're the type that's willing to fail to learn. Most guys aren't like that when it comes to girls. Weird actually.

Anyway, you're 19, she's 22. Looking at it, you had better not be her boy. Don't act like a boy. Be her man. Might be hard, but if you start becoming her boy, it'll be easy for her to get rid of you. Plus becoming her boy generally means you have to be an AFC.

Whatever happens though, be willing to let it fail. Do not fear it.

 

[white cloud 8]

Originally posted by JonJack
Dude. If things get wrecked, so be it. Don't take it too seriously man. That's when you start doing things that you'll probably regret. Unless of course you're the type that's willing to fail to learn. Most guys aren't like that when it comes to girls. Weird actually.

Anyway, you're 19, she's 22. Looking at it, you had better not be her boy. Don't act like a boy. Be her man. Might be hard, but if you start becoming her boy, it'll be easy for her to get rid of you. Plus becoming her boy generally means you have to be an AFC.

Whatever happens though, be willing to let it fail. Do not fear it.

Well the thing is we are pretty good friends, will this affect our friendship drastically? That is if I work up enough courage to actually do it, eventhough I really want to just tell her straight up. The thing is though whenever she is around (whenever I see her) those feelings pop up and I can't help it.

 

[white cloud 8]

Originally posted by SuperGigaloDJ
Get out of the friend zone

I'm doing #2, #3 (whenever I see her I sometimes do KINO to her), #4 and #5.

 

[white cloud 8]

Originally posted by SuperGigaloDJ
Well good.

#6 is the most important.

The thing is wouldn't I just come off as being another guy trying to get in her pants, because I think she considers me different from all the other guys ? The other thing is she is going to school in Ottawa and I'm in Winnipeg .

 

[JonJack]

Originally posted by white cloud 8
Well the thing is we are pretty good friends, will this affect our friendship drastically? That is if I work up enough courage to actually do it, eventhough I really want to just tell her straight up. The thing is though whenever she is around (whenever I see her) those feelings pop up and I can't help it.

Well, that's just it. You say you're good friends. If that is the case, you can tell her how you feel and what not, and she'll be willing to listen. Because she is your good friend after all. If she doesn't think of you that way, then so be it. Still friends, laugh about it, fool around if you can. If things get all weird and shyt, then you aren't really good friends to begin with. Because you were probably expecting more than friendship. And once you start expecting more than friendship, you are no longer friends. Want it, but don't expect it.

So, are you really good friends? Or are you just hanging out with her because you like her? Choose man.

 

[white cloud 8]

So, are you really good friends? Or are you just hanging out with her because you like her? Choose man.

How do you distinguish between the two? I like her and she is my friend or do you mean if I am just infatuated with her that I am trying to convince myself that there is something about her that I need and everything else about her?

 

[JonJack]

Originally posted by white cloud 8
How do you distinguish between the two? I like her and she is my friend or do you mean if I am just infatuated with her that I am trying to convince myself that there is something about her that I need and everything else about her?

A good friend is the kind of friend that you have where the two of you can just talk about anything. You two aren't afraid of saying shyt in front of each other, and the two of you are pretty relaxed and unhibited. There is no over-analysing situations. There is no thinking before you want to say something. There is no wondering whether what you want to say will make her look down on you. These are general traits of a really good friendship. One where you are pretty much free and easy amongst each other.

If you're around someone just because you like them, usually, you'll tend to watch what you say. You don't want to offend the other person. Either one of you are the one that usually talks the most. You'll feel very awkward and weird if she would to start going out with another guy. Maybe even to the point where you don't even want to see her with him. It's like you rather keep what you have than see her either go out with some other guy or you telling her how you feel and losing what you two have.

Many people misunderstand their relationships with girls. They think what they have is real friendship. And it is important not to lose it. But honestly it isn't that. What they are afraid of is losing the chance of getting together with her. They feel that being close to the girl, they're already in a prime position to go in for the kill. But to do it wrong, would be to waste all that effort getting close to her. So they find it hard to give up that position they have. That prime position to get into her pants.

Think about it. What if the so called good friend said she'll fvck you as much as you like for 2 weeks. But after that she doesn't want to see you anymore. Or she would still be your friend, but she'll never fvck you, ever. Which offer would you take?

 

[white cloud 8]

I would rather her to still stay in my life because eventhough I have feelings for her it wouldn't (in my mind) go to the point where she would ask me to choose. I'm also not the jealous type, I didn't have a problem with her boyfriend, I still carried on with her normally (no insecurity or behaviour change), and, besides she doesn't like the jealous type either (she sees it as being an ugly trait).

 

[white cloud 8]

So it comes to question if I should just stay casual friends with her or something else.....?

 

[Lost In Translation]

ok now we are going in circles

the other DJs have been trying to help you white cloud 8

now i am gunna slap you for your own good

Quote - white cloud 8
So it comes to question if I should just stay casual friends with her or something else ?

to put it in the words of Samuel L Jackson in Pulp Fiction

" oh you don't even have an opinion ? "

dude YOU decide what YOU want

then act on that

f*ck man, if you can't even make up your own mind

how you gunna change her mind to see you as more than a friend ?

you sound like a AFC poster boy

maybe you should stay her friend and let her boyfriend do a real mans work ( have S*E*X with her )

at least that way you can stay UNDECIDED


Lost In Translation

**AUSTRALIAN STREET PIMP**

Quote: PuertoRican_Lover
“First off - she is just another hor who has opened her legs to another man - you are no one special - and there are no "Greatest" to hors - you are just the next pimp in line!!! “

 

[white cloud 8]

Okay....enough of this bullsh*t, I'm just going to stay friends with her because I think their is no real point to starting something with her (she's in Ottawa and I'm in Winnipeg) .

BTW: thanx for the slap 'Lost In Translation'