Friend requests from women on Myspace/Facebook

[STR8UP]

I was talking to my biz partner the other day about women requesting us as friends on social networking sites.

He recently redid his myspace page and now gets quite a few women throwing friend requests his way.

I haven't had many women shoot me friend requests, probably because my page doesn't really reflect my personality. I'm gonna redo it eventually cause "you never know".

Here's the thing though.

I don't use Facebook much but I do have a page since a couple of people I know aren't on myspace so I set on up awhile back. Today I got a friend request from a chick who I have talked to and emailed several times but never met in person. She was recently renting a parking space from me where I own some condos.

So I might have talked to her on the phone once or twice and emailed her back and forth a few times, business stuff, that's about it. So I was surprised to see the friend request.

Anyway, what's everyone's protocol on this? Even if you HAVE met the chick in person, a lot of times interested women will use this to try to get their foot in the door with you.

So when a chick such as in my situation sends you a request, if she's attractive enough and you want to send the ball back over how do you usually go about it?

I doubt a chick would send a request based upon having had only a brief business relationship unless she's interested. I'm at least going to shoot her a brief message to feel her out. I just know that in situations like this if you DO want something to happen you really need to be proactive.

Anyone have experience with this?

 

[iqqi]

Do you really think your "friends" on myspace and facebook are serious?

Both sites are networking sites, basically. Not proof of friendships, or relationships, or interest. Isn't it kind of silly to think more of a website designed for highschoolers and college kids? I personally think it is invaluable for networking, but to put more weight into it, and your "top friends" crap for that matter, is kind of silly for anyone over the age of 22.

 

[MikeYikes122]

It's kind of a double-edged sword. I've been on Facebook since it came out because my school was one of the first to get signed up for it. I've noticed that it can go both ways. Some girls who add you do so because they have interest in you or they are attracted to you. Others who are interested in you won't add you as a friend because they don't want to give off the vibe that they are creepy or stalkerish. After all, for the girl to add you she either had to catch you on someone else's friends list by chance or she had to literally type your name into the search box. The latter is probably more likely than the former. I've also noticed that chicks who aren't physically attractive are more prone to add you to show interest. I guess it's kind of up to them to telegraph their attraction, as is the case in most other situations.

Though, there is always the chance that the girl just sees you as a friend and happened to come across your profile, so she added you as she does other people whose names she recognizes. She also might be the type that spends way too much time on Facebook and adds literally ever acquaintance she's ever made.

You kind of have to use your own judgment. I know I for one can tell.

As for what you should do, post a comment that is semi-flirty/funny on her wall. She will probably respond on your wall and laugh. Send her a personal message a day or two later and see what she is doing on the weekend or something. Sometimes girls don't respond to those kinds of messages or their response isn't favorable. I personally quit doing it because it's way too easy for a woman to ignore something like a message over the Internet. Her IL has to be high already for something like that to work. The only success I have experienced with Facebook in the past is when the girl had already had a chance to become attracted to me in class or at work. In those instances, Facebook was great for getting the communication flowing, especially if I never got the chance to get the chick's phone number.

 

[STR8UP]

It's kind of a double-edged sword. I've been on Facebook since it came out because my school was one of the first to get signed up for it. I've noticed that it can go both ways. Some girls who add you do so because they have interest in you or they are attracted to you. Others who are interested in you won't add you as a friend because they don't want to give off the vibe that they are creepy or stalkerish. After all, for the girl to add you she either had to catch you on someone else's friends list by chance or she had to literally type your name into the search box. The latter is probably more likely than the former. I've also noticed that chicks who aren't physically attractive are more prone to add you to show interest. I guess it's kind of up to them to telegraph their attraction, as is the case in most other situations.

Though, there is always the chance that the girl just sees you as a friend and happened to come across your profile, so she added you as she does other people whose names she recognizes. She also might be the type that spends way too much time on Facebook and adds literally ever acquaintance she's ever made.

You kind of have to use your own judgment. I know I for one can tell.

If the chick has never met you before, she's INTERESTED. A chick who you have met before on a social level....could go either way. But a chick who your only contact was a couple of business phone calls and emails, she doesn't even know what you look like, chances are good she's "putting herself out there" because she's interested.

Anyway, I don't think most chicks who have never met you or haven't met you face to face would be likely to request you because they want to be "friends". Chicks are just too creeped out about making connections with guys who they don't feel that they know at least a little, unless there is physical attraction.

Whatever. Just another communication tool that can be used to your advantage if you know what you are doing, and I don't. This is new territory for me.

 

[STR8UP]

Do you really think your "friends" on myspace and facebook are serious?

Both sites are networking sites, basically. Not proof of friendships, or relationships, or interest. Isn't it kind of silly to think more of a website designed for highschoolers and college kids? I personally think it is invaluable for networking, but to put more weight into it, and your "top friends" crap for that matter, is kind of silly for anyone over the age of 22.

Don't you have anyone else's cheerios to piss in today?

I mean, jeez, if you're gonna troll and flame at least WORK your way into it so it doesn't seem so obvious.

I have never put anyone on "ignore" before, but if you keep derailing every thread I post you might have the honor of being the first.

 

[ketostix]

Well it's always a good sign if a woman makes the first contact on myspace or facebook. These women have a high probability of agreeing to meet up and seal the deal in my experience. One clue to tell if it's just a friendly request or a sign of interest is the content of the message. One problem I've found is that women will send a message out first and show all the signs of interest but due to their ADD and all the plates most of these women are spinning, it doesn't amount to anything.

 

[iqqi]

Don't you have anyone else's cheerios to piss in today?

I mean, jeez, if you're gonna troll and flame at least WORK your way into it so it doesn't seem so obvious.

I have never put anyone on "ignore" before, but if you keep derailing every thread I post you might have the honor of being the first.

Wow. Talk about touche.

I think I asked a pretty legitimate question, I didn't use words like p!ss or troll or anything insulting.

I think my point was pretty valid. I could have pointed out that once again, you have assumed interest from a woman based on something someone else might find no meaning in.

However, I didn't. And I am sorry you felt that I was "pissing in your cheerios" when I was really just pointing out that many people use those networking sites... to network.

I don't think it is a good idea to assume anything more or serious from college websites like facebook. Unless of course she said something flirty, or messaged you, or does something more later. But all she did was add you.

cliff notes:

If a woman says something suggestive via facebook, she may be suggesting interest.
If a woman just adds you, it could mean nothing, could mean something. Don't put stock into it. Most people are just networking, thats it.

 

[MikeYikes122]

If a woman says something suggestive via facebook, she may be suggesting interest.
If a woman just adds you, it could mean nothing, could mean something. Don't put stock into it.

That's why I said he needs to use his best judgment here. Personally, I know when a girl is adding me because she is interested or just because she is the type to add people on Facebook. STR8UP sounds certain that this girl falls into the first category. And if that's the case, more power to him.

Most people are just networking, thats it.

That, however, is not true at all. You must not have been in college for the Facebook craze. College kids nowadays put a lot of stock in Facebook, probably too much stock. Relationships aren't official until the guy and girl are officially listed as in one together, and wall posting is one of the biggest ways that a guy and girl flirt.

It's ridiculous and immature that it all works out like that, and that's one of the reasons I quit using the site and social networking altogether. But it's just become part of college life.

I'm not sure how people in their late 20s and 30s use Facebook, but I know my generation puts a lot of weight on things like Facebook and MySpace - probably too much.

Kids who are my little sister's age right now, like 13-19, are going to be known in 10 years as the generation that had to be warned about the dangers of social networking sites.

 

[iqqi]

That's why I said he needs to use his best judgment here. Personally, I know when a girl is adding me because she is interested or just because she is the type to add people on Facebook. STR8UP sounds certain that this girl falls into the first category. And if that's the case, more power to him.



That, however, is not true at all. You must not have been in college for the Facebook craze. College kids nowadays put a lot of stock in Facebook, probably too much stock. Relationships aren't official until the guy and girl are officially listed as in one together, and wall posting is one of the biggest ways that a guy and girl flirt.

It's ridiculous and immature that it all works out like that, and that's one of the reasons I quit using the site and social networking altogether. But it's just become part of college life.

I'm not sure how people in their late 20s and 30s use Facebook, but I know my generation puts a lot of weight on things like Facebook and MySpace - probably too much.

Kids who are my little sister's age right now, like 13-19, are going to be known in 10 years as the generation that had to be warned about the dangers of social networking sites.

You touched on exactly what I meant. Unless you are in college or high school, it is kind of immature to take it so seriously. Most older people don't. They just add anyone they know. Its not like the woman doesn't know STR8UP, he said they have an email relationship, so facebook isn't really that far off from email.

It is just weird that he would think she is interested from a friend request, when he talks to her and emails her already. Wouldn't you pick up interest THAT way, moreso than a friend request on facebook?

Here they are emailing and conversing on the phone, and then all of a sudden she shoots him a friend request, and he takes that as an indicator of interest NOW, when it didn't seem like he got that from their other communications... I don't know something about that reasoning is off to me.

To me it is almost like he took the words "friend" and "request" very literally, and not as a basic invite to join her online network, which he is actually already a part of.

 

[Señor Fingers]

I don't know if this could be interpreted as a solid IOI, but I will say this much: If she didn't like you on some level, she certainly wouldn't be adding you.

If you are interested in playing a bit here, you should send her a short message thanking her for the add and casually mention the possibility of coffee or something.

That's the beauty of social networks - you type in a few sentences, then kick back and see what develops!

 

[Jitterbug]

Last time I got that on Facebook, I responded with this:

Why do you want to be my friend? Shouldn't we at least have a coffee date first, so that I can bore your brain out and then we can agree to be "just friends"?

That humoured her and we had a coffee date, during which she bored the hell out of me and we became just friends. Doh!

I probably should tweak that response a little bit though. Ideas?

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

I have lots of hot women hit me up with MySpace friend requests. Tiffany, Brittney, Sierra, Destiny, Houston, Candy, Ashley,..gosh, I have at least 2 a week hitting me up for adds. Funny thing is, they all have their own private picture sites too with shots of them doing nasty things with other "friends", or else they all want me to join some site called "Adult Friend Finder". Well, as long as we're all adults I suppose I'm game.

 

[DavenJuan]

I don't know if this could be interpreted as a solid IOI, but I will say this much: If she didn't like you on some level, she certainly wouldn't be adding you.

If you are interested in playing a bit here, you should send her a short message thanking her for the add and casually mention the possibility of coffee or something.

That's the beauty of social networks - you type in a few sentences, then kick back and see what develops!

exactly on point!

the fact that she added you definitely eliminates DISLIKE. So I would have to agree that she has some sort of "interest" whether business or personal.

a few things probably would "clarify" this up a bit. How many friends does she currently have? she could be the type to just "add" everyone she potentially knows.

on the other hand. My current LTR i met downtown at this bar i go to constantly. we chatted both nothing serious. weeks later she "friended" me on myspace. i accepted but didnt respond with a message. couple days later she sent me a message and 2 yrs later the rest is history.

my point is she used myspace as a tool to open up interaction. she probably didnt have any other "source" and utilized myspace to her advantage.

however the bottom line is this cant be a BAD thing. she took the time to find you and ask to be added

 

[STR8UP]

Interest? Non-interest? Who knows. I will say this though. In a situation where you have never really met the person or don't know them at all, if someone requests you as a friend the chances are high that there is interest.

Lets flip this around. Lets say it was a DUDE who rented a parking space from me without ever having seen me face to face, without ever having talked about anything but a PARKING SPACE. Now if a DUDE hit me up this way I would be freaking out thinking I have a gay stalker or something. Well, not that bad but you get the point.

Now if this were a tenant who was renting a condo from me that I had met up with to show the condo and we had a friendly rapport.....that would be a different story.

Anyway, I appreciate the feedback that I was looking for. It looks like this chick is a pro golfer from the UK. Should give me a little something to open up with besides "parking", lol

 

[OneEyedJack]

Wow! Old people are out of touch sometimes.

I'm 32 yrs old; I've been on facebook for awhile. I have a couple facebook friends with almost 500 friends.

It blows my ****ing mind.

But they are only best buds with about 10 of them. 15 tops.

There are people who COLLECT friends, like Pokemon/baseball cards. Remember the telephone was invented by men who could only envision its use as a tool for emergencies. That idea was destroyed when women started talking to each other for hours. Just like they often do now.

But you all KNOW that.

Facebook for some people is networking in the sense that if they know someone and they aren't creepy, they get added to the friends list.

STR8UP: She chose you Pikachu. All it really means is that you aren't creepy.

Iqqi: I reread your post that STR8 responded to so strongly. It was the question that you led with that got him going.
I would like to remind everyone that fighting on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you’re still retarded.

 

[MacAvoy]

Iqqi: I reread your post that STR8 responded to so strongly. It was the question that you led with that got him going.
I would like to remind everyone that fighting on the internet is like competing in the Special Olympics. Even if you win, you’re still retarded.

Post of the month, sig updated

 

[Latinoman]

Do you really think your "friends" on myspace and facebook are serious?

Both sites are networking sites, basically. Not proof of friendships, or relationships, or interest. Isn't it kind of silly to think more of a website designed for highschoolers and college kids? I personally think it is invaluable for networking, but to put more weight into it, and your "top friends" crap for that matter, is kind of silly for anyone over the age of 22.

I TOTALLY agree with you. College and below? Sure...

But an adult? Laughable.

 

[Latinoman]

How can I take an ADULT and MATURE man serious if he has a "Facebook" or "MySpace" account?

I can understand posting in a Forum. Or even going (to a degree) to a DATING site.

But a "social network" place like Facebook and MySpace? Time to grow up guys!

 

[Mr. Me]

They're interested... interested in extrapolating out their network via your "friends". I know you disagree with that. But if they were interested in YOU, they'd be more prone to make THOSE kinds of sounds rather than sounds about seeking a "friend" spot on your myspace page.

My ex sent me a friend request. I know she's not interested in my friendship but she sure is interested in networking.

Had a girl I had ONE date with three years ago, recently send me a Facebook request. She's not interested in a friendship.

Like it's been said, this is about social networking.

Could it serve as a springboard to a date with girls? Possibly, but why don't you just ask them out if you think they're interested?

 

[Señor Fingers]

How can I take an ADULT and MATURE man serious if he has a "Facebook" or "MySpace" account?

I can understand posting in a Forum. Or even going (to a degree) to a DATING site.

But a "social network" place like Facebook and MySpace? Time to grow up guys!

You'd be surprised how many business opportunities come from these lame sites. Personally I resisted them for YEARS. It just seemed pointless to me.. maybe even a bit retarded.

But due to much prodding from my friends I set up an account. As a result I have gotten DJ gigs in other countries and closed a few sales on music compilations and designs. I've also gotten in touch with old friends and family members who I haven't seen in ages.

Look past the garish wallpapers and emoticons.. there is something of value beyond the veil of tackiness.