Friend of 10 years turns into Fukk Buddy

[STR8UP]

Okay, so I was avoiding posting this cause I didn't want to get into a bunch of crap with the haters, but I thought it would make for an interesting topic, so here goes.....

An AW. Known her for 10 years or so. Didn't hang out much the first 7 or 8 years, but bumped into each other on and off over the years and eventually started hanging out more often.

"Went out" with her when we first met a couple of times, but this is around the time I was waking up from my matrix-enduced coma, so I wrote her off as an AW. No real attraction.

We started hanging out more often a couple of years ago. She has always been super flirty, and although I have to admit there were a few times when she got a little too frisky I would have hit it right then and there had the situation been right, but I swore a long time ago that I wouldn't put any effort into fukking her, since she's a tease by nature, and because it honestly wasn't a priority to me.

So over the past six months or so she has become more and more agressive with the touching and the comments, basically stating point blank that she wanted sex.

Well, one night a couple of months ago we were out drinking and she was too drunk to drive. Took her back to my place cause she would have probably been in jail if I hadn't, and I said f it and made a move. She was on her period but she blew me. Nice.

We have hooked up several times since then. For awhile she was blowing up my phone, but other than that everything has been casual. No problems.

For a long time I have been saying that although in the vast majority of cases there is only a short window of opportunity to become sexual with a woman, that if for whatever reason the window never closes, you can still get in her pants.

I think the key here is that 1) I always maintained a sexual vibe with her 2) She knew of other women I dated/had sex with 3) She has always seen me as a Man. I never made the mistake of turning off the masculinity. Granted, my goal wasn't to have sex with her, but I think it is important to maintain your masculinity with ALL women at ALL times. Once some of your "man points" are given up with one woman, it has a domino effect.

Another interesting thing to note is that I got her best friend naked in my bed one night (she recently told me that SHE had wanted to fukk me that night....wrap your head around that one!).

Another one of her friends saw me at a wine bar I go to from time to time, came up to me and gave me the "I wanna rape you" look, and gave me her number and told me to call her sometime.

The latest one was a coworker of hers who started flirting with me. She gave me her business card and she was going to "help me pick paint colors for my condo", but the AW c0ckblocked me ROYALLY.

It's quite funny how the way the AW interacted with me made her friends attracted without so much as me lifting a finger. It's like the saying "Whats the best way to make a million dollars? Start with two million". the best way to attract multiple women is to start with one who amps your value through the roof by the way she interacts with you.

Any thoughts on the bizarre circumstances?


So, can anyone top the 10 year record? This has to be some kind of record, haha.

 

[jophil28]

So, can anyone top the 10 year record? This has to be some kind of record, haha.

Long term foreplay , or a long term dormant "investment" which finally paid a dividend ?

 

[Tazman]

That window seemed only to apply to me when I'd never see the chick again or if I did, I just never spoke to or approached them so they'd stop sending IOIs and ignore me. As for the ones you remain in contact with, I don't think it closes permanently unless they are simply turned off by you or have something exclusive with someone else they're happy with.

 

[STR8UP]

Technically, it was an eleven year gap from when we met to when I nailed her. When I told my brother, he said, "It's about time!"

My business partner said the same thing to me, haha.

I firmly believe that the vast majority of the time a woman will not allow herself (subconsciously, of course) to face the rejection of a man who she wants to sleep with who doesn't make a move, so when she realizes that the man isn't interested or is too big of a pu$$y to try to hit it, she will preemptively put you in the friend zone, losing attraction.

This was truly an odd situation for me. Never had a woman maintain attraction for that amount of time while spending that much actual face time with her.

 

[Aenigma]

Nice job, once again your "never burn any bridges" philosophy is bearing fruit Str8up.

 

[edger]

First, I wanna say, I'm glad you're finally tapping the b*tch and getting what you want. C*m on her face, and all over the rest of her everytime you f*ck her, will ya? I'd just like to say this:

It's taken 10 long f*ckin' yrs to finally nail this dumb b*tch. That's a long, long time. This woman has finally decided after all this time of c*ckteasing you, to let you have sex with her. My guess would be, this woman has probably reached a point in her life where she's saying to herself, "Sh*t, I'm getting old, I need to settle down because my options are narrowing due to the fact that I'm getting older, maybe I should just give it up to Str8up, otherwise I'm going to end up a lonely woman, so let me do this while I can before it's too late". Of course, as I've said before, I haven't seen women do this much. From my experience, older women have been just as tough to hook up with as any other woman. Like I said, my toughest lay yet, was a very attractive(Raquel Welch look-alike) 43 year old woman back in 2003 who put up a wall the size of Jericho that night at the bar. Not only that, but there's been plenty of other instances where it's been hard to pull older babes that I've mentioned here before.

Something's definitely not right here, all of a sudden NOW she's giving you sex. There's no way it should've taken her this long to have sex with you. She's up to something, and like I said, my first guess would be the one I mentioned. It could also be possible too that over time she actually became sexually attracted to you, but I'd lean more towards what I said. And I'm sure others are probably thinking the same thing.

This woman could've EASILY had sex with you, but she refused and c*ckteased. If she wanted you bad enough, there's no way in hell it should've taken 10 yrs for this to happen. Ok, you said you've only seriously been talking a few yrs, whereas prior to that, you had only "bumped" into each other here and there, but regardless, it shouldn't have taken even a few yrs for this to finally happen. It should've happened within the first 1-3 hangouts of when you became more than aquaintances.

Just remember one thing, you're f*cking her on her terms. She has decided to have sex with you, when SHE wanted to, not when you wanted to.

 

[Tazman]

Given your experience I'm sure things will be smooth sailing, as I know it's only a matter of time until the "sex bargaining" starts. It'll be text book for you.

 

[STR8UP]

Just remember one thing, you're f*cking her on her terms. She has decided to have sex with you, when SHE wanted to, not when you wanted to.

Wrong.

She even made the comment "You know we could have been doing this a long time ago".

As I said, the innuendo has been there for awhile, I just never bothered to act on it. She candidly told me that we should have sex on several occasions over the past year or so. It just so happened that I was horny and she was there so I said what the hell, and it opened the floodgates.

 

[Latinoman]

10 years seem like a very long time. That's Clinton, two Bush and now an Obama's administration.

Not worthy.

 

[Latinoman]

Something worthwhile? The fact that having sex with that drunk attention ***** is a "worthwhile" experience is pretty pathetic in my book.

 

[TheLadiesMan]

It happens.

 

[STR8UP]

Fair enough. Every man has his own cost/benefit ratio.

The resident alpha male has to pop in from time to time and remind everyone how low class they are if they aren't seeking their soul mate at church socials.

 

[Jeffst1980]

I don't think the "window" of attraction ever closes PERMANENTLY. Obviously, it may close temporarily if/when a girl becomes highly interested in another guy, but it can "reopen" if she's suddenly back on the market, provided you take initiative. In other words, you don't DEFAULT to friendzone, your actions put you there.

Now, it's a good rule of thumb to act without hesitation because you never know if/when that window will be open again (and also to avoid wasting time), but in reality it doesn't mean she's written you off forever b/c you didn't act quick enough. Similarly, if you were friends with a girl during your AFC days and reconnected with her after 5-6 years on this site, there's a good chance you can score her in spite of any embarrassing things in your past. People have short memories, and very few things are irreversible. The key is congruence, and really emphasizing the changes in your attitude without coming off as try-hard.

Is it worth waiting for those windows to reopen? Usually not, but you never know. Give 'em a chance like all the rest--just know when to walk away.

 

[Jitterbug]

Is this the one that Rollo described (after meeting her) as a 39 y.o 5 who tries too hard to be an AW?

I don't think the "window" of attraction ever closes PERMANENTLY. Obviously, it may close temporarily if/when a girl becomes highly interested in another guy, but it can "reopen" if she's suddenly back on the market, provided you take initiative. In other words, you don't DEFAULT to friendzone, your actions put you there.

I agree. I recently got 2 girls in bed that I failed with over 2 years ago. Made some weak moves back then and they were into other guys. One I got after she ended her 2 years relationship and one is now in an open relationship. I've been friends with them all along and got better & better at teasing & flirting with them. I'm a friend but not in the Friend Zone.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

^^^^^^^

Thanks JITTER I was about to ask this. Is this the Russian / Czech woman from Martinifest?

It's taken 10 long f*ckin' yrs to finally nail this dumb b*tch. That's a long, long time. This woman has finally decided after all this time of c*ckteasing you, to let you have sex with her.

Not to pick you apart STR8, and if she's really a FB situation fine, but in the interests of analysis you've got to be asking yourself what's changed in either your own or her conditions that prompted her to change her behavior here. She didn't just wake up one morning after 10 years and go "hmmm,..I think I'll finally ƒuck STR8UP today." There has to have been a shift somewhere.

Also, and I hate to piss on your parade, but, don't think for a second that her wanting to be a FB after 10 years has anything to do with her suddenly being attracted to you in a genuine way. The time for her to be wet in the panties for you was 9.5 years ago. My guess is the FB status is just her attempt to till the fields with you, she's got an agenda.

 

[STR8UP]

Jeff-

Once a woman loses attraction for you it is almost impossible to get it back.

I FIRMLY believe that women have a coping mechanism, an "ego protection switch" that gets flipped when they feel rejected by a man. Once she feels as though she has "put herself out there" sufficiently, this switch gets thrown and she loses attraction.

If she's REALLY hot for you or there are some other sort of special circumstances, this switch might never get tripped. But if a woman is only mildly attracted it will only go so far before something erases whatever she thought she might have seen in you.

^^^^^^^

Thanks JITTER I was about to ask this. Is this the Russian / Czech woman from Martinifest?

Not to pick you apart STR8, and if she's really a FB situation fine, but in the interests of analysis you've got to be asking yourself what's changed in either your own or her conditions that prompted her to change her behavior here. She didn't just wake up one morning after 10 years and go "hmmm,..I think I'll finally ƒuck STR8UP today." There has to have been a shift somewhere.

That's exactly what I am saying- there was no shift. It was always there but I was never that attracted to her and I knew I did NOT want a relationship, so I never acted on it until that night. There were times before that that I might have been tempted to but things didn't pan out, but the situation presented itself and I felt like it so I said "what the hell".

Also, and I hate to piss on your parade, but, don't think for a second that her wanting to be a FB after 10 years has anything to do with her suddenly being attracted to you in a genuine way. The time for her to be wet in the panties for you was 9.5 years ago. My guess is the FB status is just her attempt to till the fields with you, she's got an agenda.

Hehe, there's no pissing on this parade, I assure you. I'm getting tired of fukking her already to tell you the truth.

I don't think there has ever been genuine attraction. Not in the "I want to have your babies" sort of way. Maybe more like "You aren't what I am looking for but you at least meet my minimum physical criteria and still carry yourself like a man so I would still do you" sort of thing.

I know you can only listen to half of what a woman says, but when the two of us talked about this she told me that there were several instances over the past couple of years when we were out that she was horny and wanted to get it on, but I essentially "declined". One time interestingly was the night I took her best friend home. Competition anxiety, anyone? Another that she mentioned was a night we were out and she started getting sexual with me, and on the way out of the club I left her on the street instead of taking her to my place cause she did something that irritated me.

Oh well, she's definitely not my princess and I'm not her prince. I'm content to hit it every now and then but otherwise keep it status quo.

 

[wjh]

Is this the Russian / Czech woman from Martinifest?

STR8, wanna answer the question?

 

[Sinistar]

So, can anyone top the 10 year record? This has to be some kind of record, haha

...the sad part is that there are probably 10,000's of guys in the USA alone who have easily exceeded your record by being obsessed with a single 1-itis who they were attracted to in their late teen's or early 20's and never made a move - ON ANYONE - over the next 10-20 yrs.

It's good you finally achieved intimacy with this woman - now you can put it behind you. In cases like these the delay/tension can make the intimacy quite charged - for the first few times - and then it wanes right away.

The other thought that comes to mind when you hear guys tell this kind of story: If it had been about you trying for 10yrs to achieve a personal goal (physical, financial, etc) it would seem impressive because those are goals where you put only yourself first.

Rollo is right. The real question is "why did things change right now?" Or put another way "Her actions changed right now. Why?" Maybe this is what (subconsciously) prompted you to write even though you figured (consciously) that a few of the guys might call you on it.

 

[darkstarrr]

STR8UP!

From what I've gathered about the situation - other than you being the man, of course - the whole situation with this chic wreaks of social proof with rapport being the existing prerequisite.

You were friends with this chic for years! You recently begun hanging out more and more during a time when you were building yourself back to owning that C&F smile. She was nothing more than a wing man of sorts. You paid no time to her sexually or flirtation-wise. She saw you meeting women when you went out together as buds. You had a friend of hers in bed and I believe I remember that friend may have mentioned something to this AW - who then cock-blocked you from that friend and that is when the switch was hit in the AWs brain, wasn't it?

Context, social proof, you being you, the rapport you have developed with her over the last 10 years, and a whole lotta booze.. and poof here you are!

Its amazing the things that will come out of the pot if you add the right ingredients and stir it up enough. Enjoy!

:woo:

 

[STR8UP]

STR8, wanna answer the question?

Oh....I thought I did. Yes, same girl.

Rollo is right. The real question is "why did things change right now?" Or put another way "Her actions changed right now. Why?" Maybe this is what (subconsciously) prompted you to write even though you figured (consciously) that a few of the guys might call you on it.

I wrote this because I think it is a very unusual situation.

Let me state this again- SHE didn't change at all. At least, until we had sex, then she started to become a little more demanding, stubborn, etc.

Once again, she had put it out there in the past and I didn't bite. It wasn't like she showed up at my house one night and said "Fukk me or I'll never speak to you again". We were doing our usual thing and one thing led to another and I decided to throw down.

She saw you meeting women when you went out together as buds. You had a friend of hers in bed and I believe I remember that friend may have mentioned something to this AW - who then ****-blocked you from that friend and that is when the switch was hit in the AWs brain, wasn't it?

Excellent point.

It was at least partially due to the fact that I treated her like a guy friend most of the time, and because the way she interacted with me created attraction from her friends which self perpetuated by sparking competition anxiety in her.

Another interesting thing to note is that I met her toward the tail end of my journey out of the matrix, and well before I had "made it". When we reconnected I had amassed quite a few resources that I did not have when we first met, and there was a marked change in the way she related to me when she found out this information.