Friend got married now I barley see him

[DJDamage]

I used to have a good friend all the way from highschool who just last year recentley married his high school sweetheart after dating her for 6 years. Now I barley talk to him and he seemed to distance himself from me, always making excuses. I pretty much wrote him off.

Is this common among married guys? getting married and then ditching your friends?!

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Yep, it's called priorities. They change as a person's life changes.

 

[Hitman10000]

I don't think of it as much of priorities. How was the in-person/off-person interaction with this former friend of yours? If it kinda sucked then it's self explanatory, there's always a reason behind why someone would just cut you off like that.

I know I will cut off someone if I come to a grand conclusion that they are taking me for granted and such.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Heheh,..high school sweetheart, dated for 6 years, never fukked anyone but her in his life,..

I wouldn't worry about it, just wait till he's about 30. I 'm sure you'll reconnect over beers at the strip club after his divorce.

 

[Desdinova]

Is this common among married guys? getting married and then ditching your friends?!

No, it's only common among married AFCs. When they put a leash around their neck and hand the other end to their wife, they're only allowed to go out when she says so.

I've got a friend who's in a marriage like this. When she says jump, he jumps. It fvcking sucks when it's one of your best friends, and when you DO see him, he's miserable as fvck.

 

[WestCoaster]

Correct Desdinova ...my AFC friends are on the clock, can only see me for limited amounts of time. My DJ friends tell their wife they're going out with me.

Quality wives/women let their partners have friends; demanding wives/beyotches won't allow it. It's always like that and always will be like that. Luckily I was raised by parents who have a fair amount of friends. My mom has her groups, my dad has his. Sometimes they have mutual friends, but both are allowed to socialize with others.

Insecure women will be the clamps down on a man -- and stupid men will abide by this and put themselves in an emotional prison the rest of their lives.

God men are p-ssies these days.

 

[Victory Unlimited]

Dudes,


I'm feelin' y'all about not seeing your married friends anymore. But I'd like to remind you guys of this fact too:

These guys don't HAVE to be "married" for them to pull a HOUDINI on yo' azz though. I have a good portion of my friends who just meet a chick they really LIKE and they're as good as gone. LOL

It's like being with the babe is ALL-CONSUMING. Nothing else matters to them. They will remain incommunicado for months. The only time I hear from some of them at all is when things are going south with the babes in question.

I really believe the main reason for most of the problems they run into is that they make themselves TOO accomodating, they stop being a challenge, they become predictable, the girl gets bored, and my friends LOSE their perceived value.

THEN when I hear from my friends, all they want to talk about is "how can I save my relationship with this chick?".

Now, I'm not disparaging them, because I understand where they're coming from. I recognize how easy it is to fall into that trap. I FIGHT all the time to avoid it myself. The one thing that keeps me free from potential ONEitis is the fact that I tend to overanalize everything. And ironically, that over-thinking has kept me cautious enough to always keep my guards up (so far...).

But this still doesn't excuse my friends' behavior though. Some of these guys have been married more than twice!!! One of these guys actually made an announcement to me when he got engaged that he didn't want to hear ANYthing negative about his plans---and that his mind was made up. And of course, he's been mostly suffering in his marriage since the wedding day...

So other than taking him out back and kicking the shyt out of him, he really left me without any real options of saving his azz some heartache. But I still try to help my friends when I see an opening, just like they have always tried to help me.

I try to tell them some of the harsh truths about women and relationships, and I also try to tell them about this site. But it rarely helps though, because they are drowning in a sea of emotions that the chicks have inflicted upon them.

In a sense, they are like the proverbial dog howling in pain because he's lying on a nail BUT refuses to get up off of it.

Why?

...because it ain't HURTIN' them bad enough-----YET.





Peace...one day.

 

[WestCoaster]

These married guys ... one of my friends is brutal, he brags about being with his wife every day except a couple days since they've been married 10 or more years. Don't you need a break now and then?

Funny, I listen to a lot of ESPN radio. One host, Doug Gottleib, is talking about how he can't wait for the college football season to start. (Same here!)

He says, "I love going to the games, I take my wife. I look at the hotties and my wife looks at the hunks -- hey, I get tired of looking at her, she gets tired of looking at me."

He's happily married, too. Thanks for the truth!

Sheesh, what are these AFCs supposed to do with their wives and no friends: stare at their wife all day?! Good grief, do your freaking chores, tell your wife you're going to pound some brews with your friends, and next time you'll stay home and she can go out with her friends. (Knowing women, she probably doesn't have many friends. After they get married, most women don't cultivate friendships.)

The only thing worse than an AFC is a MARRIED AFC!

 

[flexion_]

Friends come and go.

 

[MisterAl]

Get used to it.

He's gone. My best friends have married and they have allowed their wives to own them. It is sad and I miss them. This is where being an AFC hurts your friends. Ball-less sacks of ****.

Making new replacement friends in your 30s is a challenge. Every guy I meet is an AFC on a short leash.

One glimmer of hope is that I see more of one of my old friends now that he has kids. The kids seem to have worn the edge off the once b!tchy wife, and he seems more willing to invite me along for family-type activities.

 

[penkitten]

do you still call him up and ask him to do stuff? like play some cards, fix a car, go fishing, go play pool , watch a game, or whatever it is that you used to do?

there are different types of married people. there are some who cant stand to let their spouse outta their site and then there are others who stop getting invited to do stuff just because they went and got married.

i bet your friend thinks about it every once in a while telling himself "hey im married not dead. "

 

[WestCoaster]

Some friends come and go, I have a few friends I've known for more than 25 years, and am very good friends with three or four for more than 15 years. I read one post here where someone said they never have friends and it's stupid.

Some of the people on this site are societies odd balls, mysogynists, and misanthropes and will lead lonely lives and die alone. As good as this site is, there are a lot of freaks on it.

That said, anyone who spends every waking moment with their wife and has no outside friends is living in an emotional prison.

 

[( . )( . )]

Yep, it's called priorities. They change as a person's life changes.

The nice and safe P.C answer, Dr Phil would be pleased.

Truth is chicks are a rarer commodity to AFC's than his friends. To him its simple case of supply and demand.

 

[disfunktional]

Truth is chicks are a rarer commodity to AFC's than his friends. To him its simple case of supply and demand.

Oh man, that is so true. It has happened to a number of my friends...

 

[Freddy1]

I used to have a good friend all the way from highschool who just last year recentley married his high school sweetheart after dating her for 6 years. Now I barley talk to him and he seemed to distance himself from me, always making excuses. I pretty much wrote him off.

Is this common among married guys? getting married and then ditching your friends?!

It seems pretty common. Although in my book its assh*le behaviour still.
As soon as their relationship screws up they suddenly "just wants to be friends again" b.s.

If your friends dont respect you dont give them the time. Let them live lonely miserable lives when they divorce and find that thier "friends" aint going to be around for him.

 

[DJDamage]

Yep, it's called priorities. They change as a person's life changes.

Funny you should mention priorities. I am not the same person he knew and thanks to this site, I opened my eyes. I guess my priorities changed as well and we became more distance as time went and the wife he married was the nail in the coffin I suppose.

Friends come and go.

You are right. I always thought when I was dealing with women that the term friend was an ambiguous term and why should it be different with males? Forget the terms and just treat people as PEOPLE and if you like their company then let them enter your world and if not then not. Personally I don't keep close female friends anymore but that is already another topic.

do you still call him up and ask him to do stuff? like play some cards, fix a car, go fishing, go play pool , watch a game, or whatever it is that you used to do?

Tried too. I don't know the first time I felt him being distance from me was ironically started at his wedding. last few times I called he sounded annoyed that I called and he said he was buzy but he will call me when he wasn't. If I was a chick that would be a perfect line for a brushoff. Yesterday I saw him on MSN and said hi and he never answered and he went offline after 5 mins. You know you start to outgrow your friend when your friendship starts to feel like a strained relationship with chick.

 

[penkitten]

Tried too. I don't know the first time I felt him being distance from me was ironically started at his wedding. last few times I called he sounded annoyed that I called and he said he was buzy but he will call me when he wasn't. If I was a chick that would be a perfect line for a brushoff. Yesterday I saw him on MSN and said hi and he never answered and he went offline after 5 mins. You know you start to outgrow your friend when your friendship starts to feel like a strained relationship with chick.

weddings are very stressful, because the bride and groom are trying to have everything unfold beautifully, and no matter how much you try to spend a few minutes with everyone that comes, well its hard.
perhaps the few times that he sounded annoyed he was actually sitting there balancing their checkbook wondering how they were gonna get by or something.
maybe he feels like his wife doesnt want him to hang out as much, because you were from his single days. (my best friend married a guy who didnt care for me for this very reason. i never see her anymore, and i know its him. so i let it go because what can you do?)
perhaps it was her online and when you messaged him, she just turned it off or maybe it was him and he had already logged off but there was a lag delay.

these kinds of things happen all the time.

however i had a guy friend who got married and i stopped hanging out with him. i varily knew his brand new wife and figured she didnt want a chick calling their house to do stuff with them. i remember he sent an icq saying why dont you ever want to hang out with us, my wife is new to the area and needs friends around here. hell i got married , i'm not dead.
i really thought his new wife was very sweet and we went out a few times,(cause other friends were going too and had invited me ) and i bought wedding gifts when they went off and eloped and baby gifts when the baby came. however i never did call them up and ask to do crap with them, i just always thought that was weird.