FR: Went to the Shopping Mall alone...eeek

[Prestige]

I just got back from the Shopping Mall and this is my FR. However, I'll be perfectly honest... it was nothing amazing, however I did go out of my comfort zone so i'm taking this as a positive.

Place: Shopping Mall
Time: 1:30pm-2:45ishpm
Conversations: 4-5
Cold Approaches: 0
Misses: 1-2

Convos:

#1) Saw some guys I went to HS with: Stopped and shot the **** with them, normally I wouldn't have done this. Good convo, EC and Body Language

#2) Went into American Eagle: ****ty clothes and pretty dead in there. Girl came over to ask if I needed help. I joked around with her bout a funny hat they had sitting there but nothing really came of it. IMO, I probably sounded real nervous trying to use the C/F and she was thrown off. (This could probably go in the 'misses' section)

#3) Talked to the guy working at GNC: Talked to this guy for about 15 minutes. Good EC, Body Language.. overall a good conversation about alot of topics.

#4) Talked to my buddies GF and met her Friends: My buddies GF (HB 5-6..but is just an awesome girl to chill with) was with her 2 friends. One was around an HB5 and the other one was decent.. around an HB7-8. I was trying way too hard on this one and I have no idea why either. **** this one pisses me off just thinking 'bout it now. Convo was not bad, but I was mostly playing towards buddies GF and not the HB7-8 which was dumb. Although I did catch her looking at me a few times and she was gigglin' a bit when I spoke some funny words. I guess it's no worries though, cuz she is moving back home for the summer like tommorow.

Misses:

#1) In the book store, this girl was filling out a job application and as I walked by she asked me if I knew the date. I told her straight up and ****ing missed my opening completely. She was an HB8 at the least too!!!. As soon as she looked up and smiled at me I froze. Thinking back on it now, I had soo many options to go with on that one. Questions about her applying, maybe some C/f about being able to read .. anything woulda been better then what I did.

Well, that's the FR boys... any words of wisdom, constructive criticism, and/or tips would be greatly appreciated... Peace

 

[SamePendo]

I was mostly playing towards buddies GF and not the HB7-8 which was dumb.

No it wasn't. When approaching big groups, dont make the mistake of focusing your attention on the hot one. Rembember the theory behind the negs, you're basicaly doing the same thing. Look it up, approaching groups.

When will you be "sarging" more?.. Keep it up!

 

[Prestige]

SamePendo... im always sarging :woo: ... but seriosuly, I dunno im not doing a bootcamp or anything. Just trying to get better at life and I just sorta say like alright im going to the mall.. lets see how it goes.

 

[Obsidian]

You do seem to be on the right track. It sounds like conversations with girls (or even with guys, perhaps) are still somewhat of an obstacle for you, is that right?

 

[xblitz44x]

Prestige, what are your sticking points? Where are you having trouble? I say this because if you're just getting into the game and trying to meet people you picked a tough venue. People who go to the mall generally go to the mall to shop or eat and go home. When somebody is approached in a setting like that by a stranger, especially a guy who is by himself, their defenses tend to go up and they try to figure out exactly what your internal motive is instead of being receptive to you. That makes it extremely difficult to establish rapport and have a healthy conversation.

If you're just starting out and working on how to hold a healthy conversation, I'd start out at parties, or with waitresses, or bartenders, or people at bars. These types of people are expecting and most likely welcoming conversation so you'll be able to sharpen your skills there.

This is not to say that meeting people in a mall is impossible; it just takes a luckily scenario and the ability to present yourself in a soft, non-threatening manner before you can even get into the conversational side of things.

Blitz

 

[resilient]

Hey Prestige, I noticed you CHOKE up when you get approached. The reaction expression on your face of feeling nervous can put them in a NERVOUS state (with HB8 in bookstore). Concentrate on being RELAXED if you get approached. Speak SLOWER and use effective pauses.

Also, in group dynamics try to get others INVOLVED in the convo and not a LONG drawn out convo between you and the hottest babe. I.E. "So how do the two of you know my buddies GF, etc." Trying a bootcamp would really help. My skills have improved significantly already FOUR weeks into the boot camp. It's also important to kino someone the first 3 secs of the approach. That way you can establish that you're friendly. If she advances on you, you can escalate kino. If you wait 5-10 mins into the convo to kino then they get tripped out!

Like my sig says: each approach is a brick in your palace. Every attempt BRINGS intuition and experience that you can FALL back on, evaluate, and improve.

 

[Prestige]

I would say that's more than accurate, sir.

 

[xblitz44x]

It's also important to kino someone the first 3 secs of the approach. That way you can establish that you're friendly. If she advances on you, you can escalate kino. If you wait 5-10 mins into the convo to kino then they get tripped out!

No offense, resilient, but I don't think it's a good idea at all to go touching strangers at the mall in the first 3 seconds of conversation. There are some CREEPY dudes out there and women need to be on their toes at all times. Maybe in a bar or a more appropriate venue it would be appropriate to show some physical sign that you're friendly and comfortable but I think in the first minute at the mall is way to sudden and could creep people out.

 

[resilient]

xblitz, You got a good point there. Bar/club's are MORE receptable to subtle kino, but at the mall b!tchshields are in FULL effect. Lance Mason of PU101 teaches students to lightly hand touch below the waste level on approach. This sends interest level to HB and doesn't draw attention to her INFRONT of her friends. HARD to describe on the board since I SAW it in person, but it's NOT offensive and shows your friendly.

Another one I like to do is PUT my HAND on the back of someones shoulder gently to get their attention or if I'm moving PAST in a crowded club I put my hand in the small palm of their back. I get awesome EC from HBs after this or even better they'll walk past me and do the same thing to me.

 

[Prestige]

Blitz... u make some very strong points. The thing is im just trying to get better at everything. I'm kinda the guy that everybody knows and is cool with whe nim face to face with them.. but then they talk **** or whatever as soon as im gone ( or maybe that isnt true... who knows?) and I rarely get invited to parties and ****. Im trying to change all of that though.

Also, if this helps any.. maybe u could help me out here. I've been told before that i have the 'predatory' look.. whatever the **** that means.. and that women are thrown off right away by me. Ohh.. and one dude that i grab dope off of said i seem 'shady'.. which im totally not, what would make people think this way about me?

 

[Jabz]

Hey, thats funny I did the exact same thing, i went to town (our equivalent of the mall i suppose) about 2:30 on my jack jones to try and do week1 of the bootcamp, and basically failed! Heres how it went

Got down there and was walking around for a while tryna maintain EC with people, which i got a bit off and got a few girls lookin at me.

I practiced smiling to myself and its really uncomfartable. I guess When i was younger at school i subconciously trained myself to walk round with a really stern look on my face, so i tried to open up a bit more.
Its funny cos when it feels to me like i've got a half grin on my face i look at my reflection and I just look sort of nutural, (which is a lot better then looking glum).

Anyway back to the story. After no success i decided to get sum lunch and sit down and try and focus, remembering sum stuff from the site, i got back up feeling ready to really smile at people, and i did get a few hi, hello, hows it goin, from sum people, but sadly they were all people working in shops.

One girl where i tried sum trainers on seemed to really dig me ;D i was givin her a really big smile and everythin (I'd say she was probly about a 6 but cute) and i got a really positive reaction of her friend aswell (about a 7), anyway needless to say i left without any conversation really and i didnt buy the trainers.

After I'd bought a couple of things i was walkin back to the carpark, and i got stopped by sum woman while i was still on the highstreet (about a 5) who said "Hi you look like a cool guy, Were doing this promotional thing where we need ten lads and ten girls and we bring you to this place and you get to drink champagne and we do a photoshoot of you all day, all you've gotta do is bring along a few funky outfits, which I'm sure you'll be able to manage and at the end of the day you get to a pick one of the pictures you like and keep it, all this would usually cost £250 but you get to do it for just £45". anyway to cut along story short i said no thanks, and then i went home

(sorry mate, didn't mean to try and highjack your thread)

Heres my blog if your interested, just started it. http://djjabz.blogspot.com/

 

[Prestige]

Jabz, by all means brotha, hijack away. For real though, it's cool that we are in the same boat and trying to figure this **** out. Keep me posted on ur bootcamp.

peace

 

[Jabz]

Will do mate, Fo shizzle

Jabz

 

[organizedconfusion]

dude, c'mon you got to at least TRY- even when i don't try- i at least practice DHV stories and building up a solid conversation skills during an interaction..my sarges are now 30-45 minutes in length..who do i practice on? who else? but store workers in like Gap and American Eagle outfitters or where ever there are girls..i even went into a jewelry store and worked two married chicks over with a routine and personality conveing stories! they were giving me IOA's the entire time! i even tried to leave but she just kept on talking! i had close to 20 sarges almost exactly like that one the other day when i was bored and decided to go out to the mall... it's all very simply once you take the number,expected outcome and 'wanting her' out of the equation...i always engage them in conversations without expecting anything- but a conversation..building it up with a question about products,being infvckingquisitive and then Bsing from there..learning about Mystery's conversational thread theory and using that has helped me tremendously...
trust me, once you get good at just being comfortable and just 'talking' to people,anyone- you're game will increase tremendously... if you still get the heebie jeebies talking to really hot girls..if i were you i'd visit every hair salon,nail shop,womans clothing store and yoga studio you can...I DID..and just ...talk to them..like human fvcking beings,try talking to them like actual people first 'romeo' before you try 'seducing' them -K?

i know i may come off as harsh, but this is exactly the type of adivce i could've used myself a year ago- when i was soo dead on getting an expected outcome and goal...i wanted to know anything and be able to apply it correctly in the field..too bad i could'nt even hold up a 'normal' conversation, much less seduce anyone with that type of mentality..who was i kidding! not only til i tried just talking to them and allowing myself to feel comfortable during the interaction did i make the most improvments.

Trust me, learn about all the routines as much as you can and want to..but in the meantime,i'd say practice just talking to girls and just becoming comfortable..dude, you're talking to chicks! this is supposed to be fun, remember? trust me, once you get rid of the heebie jeebies and can hold up a regular conversation with girls- everything will fall into place,flirting,teasing etc..because they are natural things that come up when you are attracted to someone and you'll have more courage to just speak your mind once you are at that level of confidence..

the good thing about girls,the mall and when it's slow is that girls LOVE TO friggin smack their gums and they are regular chatter boxes once you get them going! it's like pulling the motor chain on a chainsaw! once you get them started , they never stop! they just keep on going and going! ..and going! once you get used to talking to them ,the rest is easy now don't lean in and get all up in her arse or anything,imagine as if she was just another person you felt like chatting up- and that's it..because that's all she really is... i'll share more if interested, the mall is my favorite place to practice...

 

[FOL!!!]

Good stuff, keep it up I always like reading FR's