FR-The Correct Response...More Than Just The Actions

[TheException]

Thursday night I went over to my girlfriends place. She was making dinner for me after I got off of work. Drink some beers and just chatted while she made up dinner. Absolutely delicious. Later that night as we are laying in bed, I was done watching TV and was ready for the next event.....sex with my girlfriend. So I start escalating and get resistance. Re-escalate....resistance. What in the he11 is going on? Shes my girlfriend and SHOULD BE having sex with me. I know she has work early in the morning and she had a bad nights sleep last night.....but thats not a legit excuse. So what to do now? How should I respond? Not just with my actions but the correct mindset from which these actions should ultimately spring from...

Well first off, no matter the "reasons" or "excuses" women are not like men when it comes to sex. They dont "instantly" get turned on like we do. They have a billion reasons but at the end of the day....my girlfriend just wanted to go to bed. The WORST thing a guy could do is complain or get angry at his girlfriend and start yelling or questioning her about sex. Its needy and pathetic. Its not our job to beg for sex. Our women should be wanting to jump our bones at any given moment. So whats the right mindset?

INDIFFERENCE.

You should care less. Meaning "oh, she doesnt want to have sex tonight? Well too bad her loss." Reason being....you are higher value. You should never let a women hold the weapon of sex over your head. If she attempts it, or isnt it the mood for sex when you are, indifference is the key. Subconsciously reinforces the frame that you are a great catch and if she doesnt constantly please you....you can walk away at a moment's notice. So how does this play out in terms of actions? I simply quit escalating and rolled over to watch TV. IMMEDIATELY....she felt the body language, and again I want to repeat, I truly was indifferent....not p1ssed(more disappointed).

Her: What's wrong? I can tell your mad at me(SH1T TEST!)
Me: *short chuckle* Im not mad...just seeing whats on TV
Her: *Rolls over upset*
Me: *Goes to bed*(best case scenario anyways)

Sex wasnt going to happen. You cant shame a girl into having sex with you...which is why you should never complain. If shes NOT in the mood, shes NOT going to have sex. If a girl ever wants to have sex with you EVERY TIME you want it....marry her a$$ right now. What dictates the ratio of "in the mood" vs "not in the mood" = your actions. How you handle her all the time. You cant just be a Don Juan when you try to infiltrate her pants....you must be a DON JUAN ALL THE TIME. So this was thursday....fast forward to the next two nights for evidence of the correct response.

FRIDAY
I am a high school football coach and she came to our game that week with some of her friends. Got back to my place and was going to bed because I had to get up early....anddddd she jumps my bones. Literally rape. Gets right on top, attacks me, rips off our clothing, takes my pants off and shoves my d1ck right in her mouth and goes to work before we have amazing sex. Now to anyone who is a frequent hook up with girls, can attest to the difference between a girl that just "plain wants you" and one that "wants you so bad she is a sex kitten". Very different emotions and environment. Much more intense. The latter applying here.

SATURDAY
While laying in bed she confesses the following....

Her: Hey babe....I just wanna say Im sorry for Thursday night.
Me: For what?
Her: I was mad at you....and it wasnt fair.
Me: Its no big deal babe
Her: No it really was. My Ex used to pout and get really mad at me when I wasnt in the mood to have sex. And I thought to myself "oh great, TheException is just like doucheboy". But then when you fell asleep I realized you werent anything like him at all and Im sorry for even thinking that. *cries*

So you see....two similar actions by me and her ex....but one was INDIFFERENT and the other was ANGRY. So you see the difference?

ANGRY RESPONSE = Shames her and guilts her into sex

INDIFFERENCE RESPONSE = Reinforces the sexual market and that her boyfriend can leave at anytime if he is unhappy and makes her want to have passionate aggressive sex to reinforce her interest to you.

Savy?

 

[Bizzle13]

True true but in my experience I've found that even if you are indifferent, hold no grudge etc she will stay feel like you're in a bad mood/angry/upset with them. Even if you laugh and say you're not and act (are) totally fine. Then their selective memory kicks in, something happens a few days down the line and BAM! "are you still mad because we didn't have sex the other night?"

No matter what you do some women will just understand the power of sex and utilise it. I guess if you do act/are indifferent it will irk them though, as their source of power is gone. I've too had experiences like yours where they jump on you the next day but generally I've gotta say it's a very difficult situation when you try to escalate and realise it isn't gonna happen (especially if the reason you're their is solely for sex, how do you leave? Lmao happened to me last week - awkward)

 

[JohnChops]

Good post bud, I cosign everything said here. Indifference is KEY and guilt tripping never works. Never play the pity card because girls don't like that.

 

[TheCWord]

If this site was just posts written by TheException, SoSuave would be a much better place.

 

[TheGambino]

Bro if she shared her bed with me one night she would beg for it every single minute

 

[TheCWord]

Bro if she shared her bed with me one night she would beg for it every single minute

I've read your posts on here. This is probably false.

 

[TheGambino]

all the girls that actually end up fvcking me are all over me. The thing is i get obsessed by the girls that reject me or show mixed signals before i even make a psychical move. when shes in my bed i know i got her..

 

[PlayHer Man]

Just another argument for spinning plates.

When you commit to one woman you have no sexual alternatives. When she rejects you sexually, you just have to sit there with your thumb up your ass pretending to not care. :crackup:

BUT YOU DO CARE. Because you're a man and you want to have sex. So its all bullsh!t isn't it? She is really the one in control and she knows it.

If I was dating a girl and she came over to spend the night, then refused sex, I would tell her to leave my apartment. I get a better night sleep with an empty bed anyway and if we're not having sex because she wants to sh!t test me.. then she has no reason to be there. I can call another plate and get what I want from her instead.

Women are for f*cking and reproduction. Why do so many men not get this?

By not spinning plates you make one woman your only source of sex. She can use that power however she wants. Its power you granted her by being either too lazy or too beta to keep your options open.

Spin plates, spin plates, spin plates!

 

[TheException]

TheException, have you had many ltrs?

Trying to compare d1ck sizes?

Her bringing up her ex is not a good sign, I don't care what the pretext was. She was in bed with you thinking about her ex.

I would tend to agree with you in most cases....but like in everything, there are exceptions. If a girl has had a sh1tty exbf(and lets face it, in today's society odds are she has) and he emotionally "abused" her or made her feel extreme guilt over certain actions...you cant just expect her to completely forget about it. And she didnt bring HIM up persay...it was about his actions and negative emotions towards her. I think you read tooooo much into what I was saying. She wasnt sitting there thinking "ohhh myy goddd I miss how my ex used to treat me like this". She however....DID associate my actions AT FIRST with the negative connotations of her ex....but a few minutes later, her hamster disconnected that comparison and realized it was NOT the same.

was stewing over it all weekend is at best a sign that she is an "average" girl at best.

Trying to one up again because you cant find a decent girlfriend? Look I dont care if you want to make opinions about people based upon a half story without full context...but your only harming yourself. Does she have her negatives? Sure, what girl doesnt? Does she have her positives? Sure what girl doesnt? Do her positives outweight her negatives? Yes. And thats what really matters to me.

She was not "stewing" over anything all weekend....check your reading comprehension. I didnt include Saturday night's conversation because I deemed it irrelevant, but it was perfectly acceptable for her to apologize for her actions. Lets be honest here....what percentage of girls would EVER APOLOGIZE for ANYTHING? It was so minuscule that I would not have expected an apology. Like I said, I truly felt indifferent about the whole thing so I could have cared less. The fact is....if anything she was "stewing" all weekend worrying what MY feelings were towards her behavior.

You spun this "field" report in a Pollyanna fashion rather than being coldly objective.

And I could say you spin all of your posts based upon your past with the cheating ex girlfriends....negativity bias

 

[TheException]

pretending to not care. :crackup:

BUT YOU DO CARE. Because you're a man and you want to have sex. So its all bullsh!t isn't it? She is really the one in control and she knows it.

So you reject the idea and existence of Indifference?

Women are for f*cking and reproduction. Why do so many men not get this?

Believe it or not, some of us are actually able to attract good girls. Ones that give us consistent sex, ones that we ACTUALLY like to be around. Its possible to both like each other, YET not develop a dependency on each other. Your lack of experience with relationship game is daunting and apparent.

Its power you granted her by being either too lazy or too beta to keep your options open.

We simply differ. You either believe relationships are not optimal because you cant get one, or you view them as not optimal, therefore you do not seek one. Regardless of which it is....it is clear you cant even communicate on the same level as me when it comes to "LTR game". We simply do not see eye to eye and everything I say is taken to some extreme context to serve as your personal example to make a worldwide decree that ALL MEN SHOULD BE BANNED FROM RELATIONSHIPS. Well guess what? If there are people on this forum that enjoy what I write....and learn a lesson or two from my FIRST HAND experience...you better believe Im going to share it.

Feel free to chime in whenever you want...but ultimately its the sosuave members that will decide whose opinion to hold dear.

 

[Solomon]

First of exception great post, I wouldn't call this an FR tho, But I love it when guys post stuff they experince in real life it seperates the Keyboard Jockies from the guys in the trenches.

I think you handled this well

TheException, have you had many ltrs?

Her bringing up her ex is not a good sign, I don't care what the pretext was. She was in bed with you thinking about her ex. The fact that she only wanted sex on her terms and not yours and was stewing over it all weekend is at best a sign that she is an "average" girl at best. You spun this "field" report in a Pollyanna fashion rather than being coldly objective.

As far as your response to her, I think it is fine. It could even speak to you having other outside options which is good. I have never run into LMR that I could not break down but then again I've never dated a girl that REALLY resisted when I wanted sex.

I do agree her bringing up her ex is a bad sign. It could be a huge flag that she may not be over him. However exception handled this like a boss IMO

Just another argument for spinning plates.

When you commit to one woman you have no sexual alternatives. When she rejects you sexually, you just have to sit there with your thumb up your ass pretending to not care. :crackup:

BUT YOU DO CARE. Because you're a man and you want to have sex. So its all bullsh!t isn't it? She is really the one in control and she knows it.

If I was dating a girl and she came over to spend the night, then refused sex, I would tell her to leave my apartment. I get a better night sleep with an empty bed anyway and if we're not having sex because she wants to sh!t test me.. then she has no reason to be there. I can call another plate and get what I want from her instead.

Women are for f*cking and reproduction. Why do so many men not get this?

By not spinning plates you make one woman your only source of sex. She can use that power however she wants. Its power you granted her by being either too lazy or too beta to keep your options open.

Spin plates, spin plates, spin plates!

There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship. If your game is on point and you are the prize, meeting realtionship worthy women shouldn't be out of the quesiton. The problem is most guys on here just seem to meet low quality skanks i.e. Pof sloots, single moms etc


Eventually even spinning plates gets old, trust me on that. Sure banging randoms is fun. But the risk of STD's and all of that is it worht it?

 

[PlayHer Man]

So you reject the idea and existence of Indifference?

Umm.. NO.. I reject the idea that you were actually indifferent in this situation. You were faking it. You wanted to have sex did you not? :crazy:

Believe it or not, some of us are actually able to attract good girls. Ones that give us consistent sex, ones that we ACTUALLY like to be around. Its possible to both like each other, YET not develop a dependency on each other. Your lack of experience with relationship game is daunting and apparent.

Yeah.. except for this one time. :crackup: :crackup:

Yes I have more experience with short term relationships than long-term. I wouldn't have it any other way.

We simply differ. You either believe relationships are not optimal because you cant get one, or you view them as not optimal, therefore you do not seek one. Regardless of which it is....it is clear you cant even communicate on the same level as me when it comes to "LTR game". We simply do not see eye to eye and everything I say is taken to some extreme context to serve as your personal example to make a worldwide decree that ALL MEN SHOULD BE BANNED FROM RELATIONSHIPS. Well guess what? If there are people on this forum that enjoy what I write....and learn a lesson or two from my FIRST HAND experience...you better believe Im going to share it.

Never told you to stop sharing anything bro.

Also.. I never said men should avoid relationships.. I said men should avoid total commitment. We all have friends right? Those are relationships.. BUT we have more than one friend don't we? We don't just have ONE friend and that's it.

Same with girls. Spin plates.

There is nothing wrong with being in a relationship. If your game is on point and you are the prize, meeting realtionship worthy women shouldn't be out of the quesiton. The problem is most guys on here just seem to meet low quality skanks i.e. Pof sloots, single moms etc

A man who only has one sexual option is no prize bro. Kid yourself all you want. :crackup:

Eventually even spinning plates gets old, trust me on that. Sure banging randoms is fun. But the risk of STD's and all of that is it worht it?

Fine.. don't spin plates then. Just don't whine when your c*nt girlfriend drags you around like a dog on a leash and treats you like a replaceable beta fag.

All men on this site are free to make their own choices. No one has to follow my advice if they don't want to.

 

[TheCWord]

Fine.. don't spin plates then. Just don't whine when your c*nt girlfriend drags you around like a dog on a leash and treats you like a replaceable beta fag.

There are many happy, well-balanced marriages out there.

 

[instantnoodles]

There are many happy, well-balanced marriages out there.

Name me one

My parents, that's it. My generation of parent's (most of them) seem like the only people who will take marriage seriously. They NEVER ONCE even ATTEMPTED divorce. NEVER. If they have a problem, they separate, into a different house and come back.

I wonder if people are even mature as mine to able to do that? This is inspiring, to be honest. I feel like my generation of parents are the LAST ones to take it as seriously like this. They are good friends.

I wish it were like this in my generation. Unless it's out of north America maybe. Oh well. Lol :rock:

 

[Solomon]

Fine.. don't spin plates then. Just don't whine when your c*nt girlfriend drags you around like a dog on a leash and treats you like a replaceable beta fag.

All men on this site are free to make their own choices. No one has to follow my advice if they don't want to.

Once again I have nothing against Spinning Plates, I'll be the first one to adovacte it and that's what I'm doing! But the truth is Playher we both know most guys on this site are dealing with low quality skanks and are not the prize. If they where they wouldn't be making threads like "How do I get my girlfriend back" or "POF chick losing interest"

If guys carried themselves with more self-respect, work on improving themselves and become confident we would have more threads like these and this post and not these crappy race baiting threads or Keyboard Jockying dribbel that seems to be so popular about guys moaning and bytching about how evil women are yet are not offering any real life solutions on how to win with women

What good is game if you're just gonna spin plates? There is a reason to screen for chicks, and also have women qualify themselves. Heck this was taught here 10 years ago

Good read

 

[XY.]

[/QUOTE]Savy?[/QUOTE]

Savy

 

[BeDJ]

Seriously Solomon,

What is your obsession with Keyboard Jockies? Maybe you should reflect on that.

As far as the OP, your chick is holding the sex card. It really doesn't matter how her ex responded. She could have spreaded her legs and gave into his demands -given how willing she was to share that information. You might be her whipping boy for what happened in the past.

Could you consider this a possibility? If not, I can honestly say you are a white knight given all the other posts you made to shame red-pilled men.

I can almost guarantee that this is your VERY FIRST LTR. Correct meif I am wrong, but you are on cloud 9 right now. Elderly wisdom is at theleast of your list, you enjoy it. I've been there, most mature men have been there. You aren't a messiah, green pea. There's a sh!tload you have to understand about relationship and sex. You think that indifference was the correct play for her withholding sex? Start back from square UNO. In my 4 year LTR, my ex NEVER denied me sex. Take it for what it is, but you are WAY too arrogant to accept any advice given. Good luck, kid,

 

[Solomon]

Seriously Solomon,

What is your obsession with Keyboard Jockies? Maybe you should reflect on that.

As a guy whose been here for almost 10 years i'm surprised you even ask me that question, buuuuuuut

When I started posting 5 years ago, it was an era where a field report was actually about guys going out meeting women not dealing with their girlfriends. Where guys had to put in work. I remember back when I use to post FR's there were a group of guys here, hell I use to even post pics/vids/audio it was fun but competitive era. So as a guy who was and still is in the trenches it does sadden me to see a bunch of KJ's running around here giving advice yet they rarely post FR's. I know u do so I ain't knocking you but a lot of these guys on here that have green dots don't

A lot has changed now sadly, field reports are virtually extinct and the only guys posting these days are Keyboad jockying faggots

Pardon me if I feel some type of way but the quality of the board has gone downhill a whole lot as has the quality of poster


On another note, you think you're hot stuff huh? it's cool guys get these green dots here and really think they boss's or authority figures

:crackup:

 

[TheException]

It really doesn't matter how her ex responded. She could have spreaded her legs and gave into his demands

Really doesnt matter how a guy responds? By your logic it "really doesnt matter" then if a beta chump meets every demand of his women then in order to get sex as a "reward".

This mindset of "do anything in order to get sex" is sooooo AFC. In fact your MORE of a "slave to the vag1na" than you think. Thats what rules your interactions. The emphasis is on the girl and her vag1na. Your mindset needs to come from YOURSELF. It's a life mentality....not a how to get vag1na mentality. Once again BeDJ...like PlayHer Man you read 3 paragraphs about my relationship and blow out of proportion the scenario to fit your little rant about how "if you aint getting pvssy 24 days, 365 a year, your a whipping boy".

If not, I can honestly say you are a white knight given all the other posts you made to shame red-pilled men.

Overusing the white knight card = overusing the race card

Both are boring and almost expected nowadays. Im not on a quest to save women from the "mean guys" on sosuave....im here to help men from themselves. I have given up trying to sway certain individuals away from the "women are evil" threads...but alas you can only lead a horse to water....you cant make him drink. There is a difference between being "red pilled" and "I make negative + derogatory blanket statements about all women as an excuse for my failures with them".

I can almost guarantee that this is your VERY FIRST LTR. Correct meif I am wrong, but you are on cloud 9 right now.

Beyond Clound 9. Plan on proposing this week after only 2.5 months together. She is the one....

Elderly wisdom is at theleast of your list, you enjoy it. I've been there, most mature men have been there. You aren't a messiah, green pea. There's a sh!tload you have to understand about relationship and sex. You think that indifference was the correct play for her withholding sex? Start back from square UNO.

Its always interesting to see envy. I claim to be none of the above....I just occasionally write up situations that other men may experience(YES THERES ACTUALLY OTHER GUYS ON HERE IN RELATIONSHIPS OR WOULD LIKE ONE)and how I handled it. The rest of my time spent on here is answering the "little guy's" question. You know...the guy who makes a thread and gets 3-4 responses while the other "elderly wise" members blab on and on in some thread about "women knowing their roles" or "Women dont give a sh1t".

You keep mentally masturbating in those threads, dont matter to me. But when you start posting on here to help.....instead of trying to get your "rep" up....then youll understand me.

 

[smooth_as_silk]

it is clear you cant even communicate on the same level as me when it comes to "LTR game"

Ha ha it's funny to read "LTR game" when the broad involved brings up her past stories with ex-bf :crackup: