FR: Talked to these girls during lunch.

[ElStud]

Yeah, so I talked to these girls at lunch. Here's how the interaction kind of went:

Approach #1

This is how it opens...

[One of the girls purses in the way and I go...]
Me(Jokingly): Purse check, please remove your purses so this young man can sit down.
[And the girl moves her purse]

Then this happens somewhere along the way...

Her: Hey...
Me: Do I know you?
Her: Oh, I'm Allie, you're Mike right?
Me: Yes, but I've never seen you in my life and you know my name? Stalker...
Her: You know me, I use to have blonde hair.
Me: Nope, don't quite remember you.

Eventually this happens...

[Dude comes over and almost spills Gatorade over her to tease her]

Me: It would be funny if he spilled the Gatorade all over your shirt.
Girl: Yeah, it would be a wet T-Shirt contest.
Me: Yeah, not that there's much to see there though.
[And everyone, including the other girl next to me, starts laughing]
[Someone asks "What did he say and I go"...]
Me: Yep, I said not that there's much to see there.

So moving on, these dudes there have a conversation with me...

Dude: So what happened to Rebecca and Lindsey man?
Me: Who needs them?
[And they laugh]
Me: Nah, I basically talk to whoevers here. So if they're here I talk to them and if they're not, I talk to whoever's there.
[And that conversation continues with another dude agreeing with me]

This happens somewhere...

Girl2: Did you say slvt?
Me: No.
[Then I say to her friend...]
Me: Haha, your friend thinks you're a slvt.
Girl2: I would never say something like that.

And later...

Me: Haha, yeah, you're friend called you a slvt. She probably knows because you two are lesbians.
[And the girls laugh]
Girl1: Do you have a problem with gay people?
Me: Nah, lesbians are actually cool. It would be f*cking awesome have two girls f*cking right in front of me. Gay people can be cool too, as long as they don't make a move on me. So yeah, as long as gay guys stay off me, I'm good.

Approach #2

Ashley: Hey, big pimpin.
Me: Hey, how come you never talk to me at lunch anymore?
Ashley: Oh, that's because I've been eating outside.
Me: Ah.
Me: So, what are you doing this weekend? Sleeping as usual I suppose?
[Her friend laughs]
Ashley: No, actually I'm grounded.
Me: Grounded?
Ashley: Yeah.
Me: How does a nice girl like you get grounded?
Ashley: I don't know, it's really weird.
Me: Or maybe your not as nice as you let on...
Ashley: No, I'm nice.
Me: Well anyway, I'll see you later, maybe I'll see you at lunch tommorow.
Ashley: Yeah bye.

So that's basically how those interactions went. I think my problem here is overnegging, negging to the point where the girls take it as more than a joke.

 

[cordoncordon]

Dude that was just brutal. There is a difference to being funny with your negging in a playful way, and being downright mean. You stepped so far over the line that you're in a different country.

Bad, just bad.

 

[Kev07]

Elstud, your FRs raises a very dire question in my head.

What are you trying to achieve from these?

 

[ElStud]

Elstud, your FRs raises a very dire question in my head.

What are you trying to achieve from these?

...

Trying to improve and get criticism duh. Now unless you have some actual advice to give, don't ruin the topic by making a huge offtopic discussion.

 

[Kev07]

I can't give you advice if I don't even know what you're getting at. For example, you can't give the same advice to different types of athletes.


What exactly are you trying to improve?

 

[ElStud]

I can't give you advice if I don't even know what you're getting at. For example, you can't give the same advice to different types of athletes.


What exactly are you trying to improve?

Well you're going around saying "Looking at your FR's you still have a long way to go" so explain THAT. Yeah, I DO have a long way to go, but going around thinking you can tell who and who can't give advice is just arrogant, especially when that advice has been proven in field. People are laughing at what I say and so are girls, so don't tell someone to not listen to my advice when it clearly works. Heck, I neg less and I'll get even more success.

 

[Kev07]

Well you're going around saying "Looking at your FR's you still have a long way to go" so explain THAT. Yeah, I DO have a long way to go, but going around thinking you can tell who and who can't give advice is just arrogant, especially when that advice has been proven in field. People are laughing at what I say and so are girls, so don't tell someone to not listen to my advice when it clearly works. Heck, I neg less and I'll get even more success.

Nothing has been proven yet, your FRs got up to a point and now it just plateaued. Your conversation skills aren't that great either, sometimes you're on it, sometimes not. and when you're not, you end up just talking about a new topic everytime you start a new sentence.

Yes you could still use improvement, but from what I can see FR after FR, the only thing I see you going for is developing a quick wit to neg and c&f.

Why don't you move PAST the rapport phase and start going into attraction phase?

Instead of just negging and joking, try messing with her emotions a bit. do some push-pull, do some qualifications, get some deep connection going.

If i was a girl getting hit on by you, I would probably only remember you as "some dude on the bus hinted that i was flat chested wtf!!"


The point that I'm trying to make is that you're not moving anywhere, that is unless your whole goal in life is just to be able to C&F and Neg a girl into submission.

Girl2: Did you say slvt?
Me: No.
[Then I say to her friend...]
Me: Haha, your friend thinks you're a slvt.
Girl2: I would never say something like that.

e: It would be funny if he spilled the Gatorade all over your shirt.
Girl: Yeah, it would be a wet T-Shirt contest.
Me: Yeah, not that there's much to see there though.

Come on now, calling girls slvts and hinting that they are flatchested aren't going to get you anywhere. I think you're lucky that girl didn't slap you.

 

[backbreaker]

dude, you are trying WAY to hard. talking to women is natural, not .... this ****

 

[Boschy]

At least you're approaching. However, I'm trying to remember the last female I approached who was grounded, LOL.

 

[backbreaker]

well... here's the thing. if you are approaching, and you aren't learning or bettering or getting valuable information, you are no better than the guy who is watching porn all day long.

 

[Michele l'Arcangelo]

Well you're going around saying "Looking at your FR's you still have a long way to go" so explain THAT. Yeah, I DO have a long way to go, but going around thinking you can tell who and who can't give advice is just arrogant, especially when that advice has been proven in field. People are laughing at what I say and so are girls, so don't tell someone to not listen to my advice when it clearly works. Heck, I neg less and I'll get even more success.

right on brother! show them they should qualify themselves for you!

you are spot on! man these FRs sure prove how great you are improving. I don't have any FRs, darnit... shucks!

dude, i love how you are kicking up the c&f and neg-hits! they will never forget you! i bet they will remember you as the kid who is SoSuave that can say anything on his mind, without a care in the world what people think of him. ...if i were only like that...gee...what a thought...

 

[backbreaker]

what's your GPA elstud? what's your Bodyfat looking like? what's the last book you read? what are your plans for the next 5-10-20 years?

 

[ElStud]

well... here's the thing. if you are approaching, and you aren't learning or bettering or getting valuable information, you are no better than the guy who is watching porn all day long.

I'm not getting better, uh... yeah. You clearly ignore the fact that girls are laughing at what I say and people are too. You look at my old FR's that never happened.

what's your GPA elstud? what's your Bodyfat looking like? what's the last book you read? what are your plans for the next 5-10-20 years?

Why do you ask irrelavent questions? Yeah. If you're not going to say something related to the actual topic it will not be answered.

Nothing has been proven yet, your FRs got up to a point and now it just plateaued. Your conversation skills aren't that great either, sometimes you're on it, sometimes not. and when you're not, you end up just talking about a new topic everytime you start a new sentence.

Who cares? It's still arrogant and ****y going around telling who people who CAN and CANNOT give advice. Talking like that you'd BETTER be the greatest conversationalist in the world. And like I said ALL the advice has been proven in field. Who gives a crap if my conversational skills aren't great! I'm not looking to have some great conversation with the girls, I'm looking to get interest, laughs and overall have fun with them.

If i was a girl getting hit on by you, I would probably only remember you as "some dude on the bus hinted that i was flat chested wtf!!"

If you were a girl and I was hitting on you, theoretically you being more than a 5, I would immediately ditch you because you had no sense of humor.

I don't know, I'm not getting any good advice or any advice that's really helping me here, so I'll just check the DJ Bible or something.

Come on now, calling girls slvts and hinting that they are flatchested aren't going to get you anywhere. I think you're lucky that girl didn't slap you.

Am I? No actually the girl, her friend and pretty much everyone else was laughing. You know why? Unlike you they don't take conversation so seriously and actually have fun with it. Your idea of a good conversation is probably long, boring and full of routines.

 

[Kev07]

Who cares? It's still arrogant and ****y going around telling who people who CAN and CANNOT give advice. Talking like that you'd BETTER be the greatest conversationalist in the world. And like I said ALL the advice has been proven in field. Who gives a crap if my conversational skills aren't great! I'm not looking to have some great conversation with the girls, I'm looking to get interest, laughs and overall have fun with them.

You're right, no one gives a crap if your conversational skills are great. That's okay, just don't post in a thread about conversational skills if yours aren't that great.

Not to mention the statement you made about only making statements, let me quote it:

Questions not statements

Try making statements and not asking questions. It's basically the difference between saying "Did you have a good day today?" or "You look like you had a good day today".

I'm not sure if you intended it to be this way, but it comes off as "Don't ask questions, just make statements" Which would be BAD advice. Yes, many AFCs will go doing nothing but asking questions, and turning everything into an interview, but just making statements are just as bad, and I think it's affecting your conversations.

Hence why I told the kid not to take your advice, because you don't know what you're doing when it comes to conversations.

You want to give people tips on approaching? go for it. but don't give advice on shvt that you're not good at, you're going to end up making people worse than they were.


And to end this, NO what you do in your approaches are NOT conversations, it's more like a damn talk show. Like I said before, stop trying so hard thinking of something witty to say, and just TALK, a conversation isn't a trick question.

And if, theoretically, you were to ditch me because I "can't take a joke", I would probably care less. Theres a fine line between C&F and negging, and there is another fine line between negging and outright insulting. How would you feel if a girl came up to you and said you had a small dlck? Cause that's the equivalent of making fun of a girl's tits. And don't give me the bullshvt "Oh I wouldn't care I'll just neg her back", guess what elstud, not everyone reads sosuave.net and knows that they shouldn't have to take an insult like that, especially a girl.

Am I? No actually the girl, her friend and pretty much everyone else was laughing. You know why? Unlike you they don't take conversation so seriously and actually have fun with it. Your idea of a good conversation is probably long, boring and full of routines.

Sure they are laughing, great, where is that getting you? And I'm not even going to try to argue with your accusations because you clearly don't know what you're talking about. But assuming you're right, at least my conversations LEAD me somewhere. But I will just state now, that I do not use routines, at all.

And back to your "I make FRs where are yours?!?!"

I don't know elstud, I wouldn't even technically call your "FRs" Field reports. All you're essentially doing is approaching girls, and talk to them about random stuff. If I were to make a "FR" everytime I talked to a girl, I would probably fill up the whole damn front page of general discussion. I make FRs for when I actually do something. Your "FR"s are better classified as an approach journal.

 

[ElStud]

You're right, no one gives a crap if your conversational skills are great. That's okay, just don't post in a thread about conversational skills if yours aren't that great.

Not to mention the statement you made about only making statements, let me quote it:


I'm not sure if you intended it to be this way, but it comes off as "Don't ask questions, just make statements" Which would be BAD advice. Yes, many AFCs will go doing nothing but asking questions, and turning everything into an interview, but just making statements are just as bad, and I think it's affecting your conversations.

Hence why I told the kid not to take your advice, because you don't know what you're doing when it comes to conversations.

You want to give people tips on approaching? go for it. but don't give advice on shvt that you're not good at, you're going to end up making people worse than they were.


And to end this, NO what you do in your approaches are NOT conversations, it's more like a damn talk show. Like I said before, stop trying so hard thinking of something witty to say, and just TALK, a conversation isn't a trick question.

And if, theoretically, you were to ditch me because I "can't take a joke", I would probably care less. Theres a fine line between C&F and negging, and there is another fine line between negging and outright insulting. How would you feel if a girl came up to you and said you had a small dlck? Cause that's the equivalent of making fun of a girl's tits. And don't give me the bullshvt "Oh I wouldn't care I'll just neg her back", guess what elstud, not everyone reads sosuave.net and knows that they shouldn't have to take an insult like that, especially a girl.



Sure they are laughing, great, where is that getting you? And I'm not even going to try to argue with your accusations because you clearly don't know what you're talking about. But assuming you're right, at least my conversations LEAD me somewhere. But I will just state now, that I do not use routines, at all.

And back to your "I make FRs where are yours?!?!"

I don't know elstud, I wouldn't even technically call your "FRs" Field reports. All you're essentially doing is approaching girls, and talk to them about random stuff. If I were to make a "FR" everytime I talked to a girl, I would probably fill up the whole damn front page of general discussion. I make FRs for when I actually do something. Your "FR"s are better classified as an approach journal.

Well that's YOUR fault, you interpreted it the wrong way. Moving on... I'm not trying hard I just say whatever comes to mind.

If a girl said I had a small d*ck I would just play it around with it or even laugh, because you know what, I can take a joke. "You must like small d*cks then baby" "You've been looking?" "You didn't seem to care about that last night". It's a freaking joke and if you're honestly insulted by it, you need serious anger management and need to pick up a f*cking sense of humor. I bet you're the guy that always lashes out at someone when they make a joke that's even remotely offending. Stay FAR away from Dave Chapelle.

 

[Kev07]

Well that's YOUR fault, you interpreted it the wrong way. Moving on... I'm not trying hard I just say whatever comes to mind.

If a girl said I had a small d*ck I would just play it around with it or even laugh, because you know what, I can take a joke. "You must like small d*cks then baby" "You've been looking?" "You didn't seem to care about that last night". It's a freaking joke and if you're honestly insulted by it, you need serious anger management and need to pick up a f*cking sense of humor. I bet you're the guy that always lashes out at someone when they make a joke that's even remotely offending. Stay FAR away from Dave Chapelle.

No, I can take a joke, just not from someone I've just met.

You insult me like that when I barely know you, first thing going in my head is going to be "Who the fvck does this guy think he is"


Well hey, if you insist man, that you don't try hard. You probably don't, but you come off as if you do, that's the problem.


Take for example - A "creepy guy", is he intentionally trying to be creepy? Most likely not, but he still comes off that way.

 

[smooth guy]

ElStud I really don't see why you even make threads about your approaches if you're trying to improve when you can't take any advice or criticism.

Nobody is perfect on this board, most of us are here to improve on our weak parts. We should take and consider all advice and criticism given.

Getting all defensive and moody when you take criticism is getting you nowhere. If you think that what you're doing is right, then dont make threads about it and just keep on with what you're doing - see how far that'll get you.

I cant say that I'm God at conversation, I'm still a teen and my social and conversation skills are still growing, but I agree and can definitely tell you're trying way tot hard. I also agree that you should build more rapport with the girls. So you made them laugh a couple times. Yeah so what? If you don't build any rapport with them so they can remember you for something it doesn't mean ****.

Neg hitting playfully is fine...but dude...insulting her about her breast size? :S That's hitting a female's insecurity and not something you should mess with. I'm also assuming we're talking about teen girls here. Easy on the neg-hits. They probably haven't even built their confidence completely and probably have a lot of insecurities.

Make them laugh, make them laugh while being ****y, take it easy on the neg-hitting, and try building rapport. Let conversation flow more naturally. Next time you approach try having a more normal conversation, then come and tell us how it went.

 

[mintxx]

leave the kid alone

man just talk to the girls like they're your friends but you want to have sex with them. get it? enough with the bizarre put-downs, not a total disaster from a teenage perspective though
good luck in your future 'interactions'

incidentally, at your age, girls have no idea what they want. it's like trying to get a hamster to jump through a hoop by reading it a book on physics. ain't gonna happen. chillax! or else all these crazy techniques will mess with your head and you'll turn into the kid from My Wife and Kids:
'hi, nice to meet you (let's have sex), what's your name'
*SLAP!
when i was your age i just kissed girls at the movies. kids these days, eesh

edit - actually you know i did blatantly ask a girl what her cup size was the other night. but she already flirts outrageously with me and i've felt them so she's a bit more secure than your teenage jane doe

 

[yep]

I think us being a sort of brotherhood so to speak we should lay easy on the arguing and more on the advice. Elstud you are on the right path man. My routine started out the same way, i was an a$$hole then started incorporating humor into it. It was fvcking magical. All you have to do is a few things.
1.Be a little more creative w/ ur neg and c+f
2.Incorporate more humor into your conversation
3.Keep practicing b/c ur doing fine man.

Just remember its got to be a mix of humor w/ the busting and neging.

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

...So that's basically how those interactions went. I think my problem here is overnegging, negging to the point where the girls take it as more than a joke.

I'm glad that you can see that. I'll admit, your opening topics were good but they all seemed to take a really bad, @sshole like turn instead of something really funny.

I hate using percentages but this what seems to work for me when I'm with a general group of people.

• 40% Funny
• 30% Serious
• 20% ****y
• 10% Negs (w/hidden complement)

I don't use negs to knock someone down, I don't keep company with people who would need knocking down. The negs tie into my ****iness but always have some hidden compliment with takes the person only a few seconds to get. Typically after she gets it I give her a wink or some light kino just to let her know that I accept her.