FR - If I CAN do this kinda thing, should I?

[HeimdallThorhammer]

Hi, need some comments here. Is this too strong?

RAFC N00b here.

Background: 32. I'm in my first year med school in the midwest. Back to college and the huge candy store...

Used to be nervous, afraid, etc... of approaches, so much so that I couldn't do it. But over the last few years I became a little more outgoing, and then a little more...

I'm married, but not in enforced monogamy. Even though I've not really exercised it, being an ex-AFC, I've not been in a relationship that *required* me to be a one woman guy, since I was a teenager. I simply don't believe in it, and I think the whole societal structure around it is wrong...and leads to cheating, lies and unhappiness. Anyway..

I'm getting better looking with age, but I need to hit the gym badly to lose 30 lbs or so...and tone back up. I'm probably a 7, could be 8 when fit.

Over the past few months I've read, thought about and practiced the knowledge here. I've begun to amaze a natural friend of mine, who has over 100 notches in his belt...

(I seem to be naturally C&F - and I ALSO seem to naturally react to the level of excitement, tone, etc (pacing?) in a conversation - I just never paid any attention to doing anything with it before..)

My current sticking point is MidGame. How do I transition opening, to small talk .... into FClose? That's my goal. I'd prefer 1-2 FBs to go along with my main girl, but I'll take ONS if that's all I can get.

(I know, practice, practice... but I thought try and fill the picture out for you.)

Here's my FR... and I'm damned amazed that I pulled this off.

I talk to most anyone now. I tried opening a married chick, in a professional suit in line at the DMV, even

So on Saturday I went shopping for an iPod. Went to one of the big electronics chains, the one with the blue colors which starts with "Best ...".

HB8 helps me. Green eyes. Long red hair. 6' tall.

I start with questions about the product, and find she doesn't know much - she's new, a trainee. So I start picking on her, joking of course and maintaining mega direct eye contact. BL, not turned directly toward her. I get her name, shake hands, give her mine, touch... I'm still teasing her as she checks me out, and one point I have my hand on her waist, and she's having a good time...

Only problem is people are lined up to get help. I can't really make a move, as there's 2 groups of old people, and a couple all wanting attention. So I thank her and bail...

Forward to Monday.

(Bit more background info : On Fri/Sat us docs in training have get togethers, where we go out drinking. A lot. And I wanted her for sex AND this, as there are some serious HBs in class...and she'd be excellent social proof...)

Knowing I screwed that up, but still desiring the acquisition of my target, I go back to the store. This would have been unthinkable before reading here and ASF.

I walk into the store, the puma that I am, and casually walk up to her... convo goes like this:
(and this happened in front of like 4 other people, 2 of which were store employees)
(and I maintained EC and looked only at her face and her eyes....I resisted looking at those tits..heheh)

Hi
HB8: HI (big smile and eye contact)

remember me?
HB8: Yeah, I was helping you with the iPod the other day...

I bet you don't remember my name....
Hb8: Umm...no.

But I bet you DO remember my beautiful blue eyes, don't you? (blinking them like a show off at her)
HB8: laughs, smiling - touches me and asks name.

HB8: Did you need help with something?
No, I didn't come back to buy something, I came back for you.

I wanted to talk to you the other day, but with all the customers here, I couldn't do it. Didn't want to get you into trouble...

(Forgot what she said here)

I thought you were cute, and you had sense of humor so I wanted to see what else was behind those green eyes of yours (paraphrased)...

(Turned body to face her somewhere in here)

Anyway I've got these two functions in medschool, and I think I'd like you to go with me to one. One is semiformal, and the other is casual.... ( I forget what happens next)

----------

Now I didn't get the date, but there's a good reason why. She's leaving for Europe in 2 weeks, to teach kids English in a foreign country. I had a reasonably long talk with her after... it wasn't a blow off by any means - she was actively trying to make a way for it to work... asking me again which days I had, as she has to pack, and see her parents for the last time next weekend.

----------

1) I can't believe I did it.

2) I wasn't half as nervous as I thought I'd be. (Note to Lurkers - THIS **** WORKS...DO THE APPROACHES. Like Nike, MF's... Just do it!)

3) I'm beginning to LOVE every f**king minute of this guys. It's like a bug. I can't WAIT to go out. Even if I only make a few approaches. Even the other day when I did an approach and got totally ignored... I went back to the table with my friends and laughed my ass off over it.

THIS **** IS FUN!

 

[Slickster]

Man I just loved reading this post. Its cool to see so much enthusiasm from a guy. Its exactly the attitude you need to succeed.

What stood out for me was

I talk to most anyone now....

This is so key to success in this game. It creates a huge snowball effect of social proof for you.

I remember when I was on a first date about a year ago. The chick I was with couldn't believe how many people in town knew me. We'd go somewhere and all these people are saying hi and asking me how I'm doing etc. She was really impressed by it all.

Attracting women is very much like looking for a job. Its not what you know, its who you know.

So being friendly with everyone you see goes long way. Overtime you can build a huge social circle of people and the hotties that are attracted to you have hot friends who will also hear about how great of a guy you are.

My situation right now requires very little effort at all. I know so many people in the area I live that I sometimes feel like I literally have a harem of women. I truly feel that it is a result of an overly friendly attitude to everyone.

The DJ stuff I've learned definately helps too. I love it when I meet some strange chick and throughout a conversation make a real connection then just leave her there hanging there wondering why I didn't ask her out or ask for her number. I'm sure they're expecting me to ask! Every other guy who is super friendly always wants something but me, I'm just that kind of guy. The "super friendly" combined with the "zero desperation" thing works wonders for me. So many guys are too worried about missing their "chance" or they want to hit that shyt right now to prove that their game is working. There are so many chicks around that focusing too much on one is silly. One thing I've learned is that you always seem to run into them again and you do get another chance. However the next time she's the one interested in pursuing you because you've proven you are a cool guy with no hidden agenda. Yeah right

The word "anyone" is also key from your quote. When I'm out with friends many are surprised that I know someone we meet just because they look like somebody a guy like me wouldn't associate with.

I'm a fairly clean-cut guy but I have friends/acquantances from all walks of life. Head-bangers, skate punks, freaky goths, jocks, little old ladies, the cashier, ugly chicks, whoever I run into. I make it a habit of just going up to people sometimes and starting a conversations. Its all time well spent. Your social skills soar. Its just like investing with compound interest.

The attraction grows in ways you can't imagine.

 

[WaterTiger]

Originally posted by HeimdallThorhammer

I'm married, but not in enforced monogamy. Even though I've not really exercised it, being an ex-AFC, I've not been in a relationship that *required* me to be a one woman guy, since I was a teenager. I simply don't believe in it, and I think the whole social structure around it is wrong...and leads to cheating, lies and unhappiness. Anyway..

So get a divorce! You don't think marriage works, then why are you in one? If wifey isn't fulfilling your needs, dump her. It won't cost you nearly as much NOW as it would after she catches you cheating. It's not like divorce is a stigma these days.

 

[Walden]

He's in an open relationship.
Isn't there a knitting circle website someplace you should be posting in?

 

[sensible juan]

A lovely DJ diary concise and precise. I own you a drink HeimdallThorhammer but I am not comfortable with your name you are going to kill a HB 9 one day.

I mean when rumping those HB9s and they are screaming your name what are they going to say oh oh hammer ! hammer ! Hammer me hammmmmmmmmmmmmmmer meeeeee! ! and what happens HeimdallThorhammer will stand up go to his toolbox and select the biggest hammer bang on the HB9 head.HeimdallThorhammer youre going to get some ho killed one day i promise you. change that name.I dig you mate

 

[Pulsar]

Originally posted by Slickster
Man I just loved reading this post. Its cool to see so much enthusiasm from a guy. Its exactly the attitude you need to succeed.

What stood out for me was



This is so key to success in this game. It creates a huge snowball effect of social proof for you.

I remember when I was on a first date about a year ago. The chick I was with couldn't believe how many people in town knew me. We'd go somewhere and all these people are saying hi and asking me how I'm doing etc. She was really impressed by it all.

Attracting women is very much like looking for a job. Its not what you know, its who you know.

So being friendly with everyone you see goes long way. Overtime you can build a huge social circle of people and the hotties that are attracted to you have hot friends who will also hear about how great of a guy you are.

My situation right now requires very little effort at all. I know so many people in the area I live that I sometimes feel like I literally have a harem of women. I truly feel that it is a result of an overly friendly attitude to everyone.

The DJ stuff I've learned definately helps too. I love it when I meet some strange chick and throughout a conversation make a real connection then just leave her there hanging there wondering why I didn't ask her out or ask for her number. I'm sure they're expecting me to ask! Every other guy who is super friendly always wants something but me, I'm just that kind of guy. The "super friendly" combined with the "zero desperation" thing works wonders for me. So many guys are too worried about missing their "chance" or they want to hit that shyt right now to prove that their game is working. There are so many chicks around that focusing too much on one is silly. One thing I've learned is that you always seem to run into them again and you do get another chance. However the next time she's the one interested in pursuing you because you've proven you are a cool guy with no hidden agenda. Yeah right

The word "anyone" is also key from your quote. When I'm out with friends many are surprised that I know someone we meet just because they look like somebody a guy like me wouldn't associate with.

I'm a fairly clean-cut guy but I have friends/acquantances from all walks of life. Head-bangers, skate punks, freaky goths, jocks, little old ladies, the cashier, ugly chicks, whoever I run into. I make it a habit of just going up to people sometimes and starting a conversations. Its all time well spent. Your social skills soar. Its just like investing with compound interest.

The attraction grows in ways you can't imagine.

wow, great post !!!

 

[phillydude]

Hey dude... great post. I'm with you in that I'll talk game to just about anyone, anytime... and usually get what I want from it.

I just wanted to "warn" you that you are going to get some heat for being married and trying to also be a DJ. There are more than a few people here with some pretty strong opinions about it.

Remember, these people don't know you, don't know your wife, and don't know your situation. And it's really easy to throw stones from behind a glass screen.

Coming from one married guy to another... keep on keeping on.

 

[SheDevil]

Don't go on the defense. Just for my curiosity-what made you decide to marry. Or did your stance now evolve after the vows. Is your wife an active player, too? Again, just curious.

 

[bronyraur]

marriage

Dude, If you are unhappy with your marriage you better get out BEFORE you get out of Med School. You think your wife may just be hanging around (maybe supporting you thru school? the courts love that one) until you get out?

You have a lot to lose financially if you are purely staying in the marriage for some weak reason. Great approach btw, just food for thought.

 

[HeimdallThorhammer]

SheDevil,

Just for my curiosity-what made you decide to marry. Or did your stance now evolve after the vows. Is your wife an active player, too? Again, just curious.

It wasn;t just marriage. I haven't been in ANY relationship - including my previous fiancee - that had enforced 'fidelity' as a rule - for well, a long time.

I don't see marriage as meaning you only get sex with one person. If THAT'S what it is to other people, more power to them.... ...seem like a silly reason to me. Jealousy is negative emotion that gives other people power over you. No thanks.

For me marriage is to start a family, have kids, have a permanent love, etc.

She almost had a thing going with an italian guy, but he turned out to be a jerk. I'm fine with her having fun, was teasing her... sexing her and making her imagination go wild.. I'm a bit naughty

I'm certainly no hypocrit.

Up until recently I've not gone out of my way to DJ, and just took what fell into my lap more or less.

Was more interested in technique tips than the other bits of my post

My question was I being too bold? It seemed to work, but I wasn't near perfect yet...

 

[HeimdallThorhammer]

Bronyraur,

(maybe supporting you thru school? the courts love that one) until you get out?

Nah dude, I'm the one with money.

I have investments from a previous professional life.

No worries on 'divorce'.