FR: At the gym

[Broham]

What's up guys. Here's a short field report of me and a HB8. I approached her while she was stretching near the cardio equipment, I was nearly done with my lifting.

Broham: Are you using this? (pointing to the mat)
HB8: No
B: Oh I see you have one of those new Ipods (I start fake stretching)
H: Yeah, I usually don't spend money on myself but I had to have this
B: --because everyone else does (I show her mine)
H: haha, right
B: I must come here 100 times a week and I've never seen you here
H: Well I usually come after work. When do you come?
B: Random times usually. (lie)
H: Oh
B: I'm Broham btw, and you are....
H: Jen
B: Nice to meet you, you're the 56th Jen I know. So Jen, Are you training for a sport?
H: No, just trying to stay in shape. blah, blah I'm an IT manager
B: interesting I'm sell software
H: What kind?
B: Enterprise marketing management. (Jokingly) Let's not talk about work, its boring! Sooooo what do you do for fun?
H: Well, I go out occasionally
B: Occasionally!? and I thought you were a fun girl!
H: Well, uhh....
B: Hey, I'm sure scrabble can be fun.
H: hahaha
B: Listen I gotta go finish my workout, I'm grabbin some coffee later, you wanna join me?
H: I actually can't tonight, that's nice of you to ask.
B: Well I'd like to continue or convo, how can I get ahold of you?
H: Are you gonna be here again this week.
B: Hmmm, I'm not sure (lie)
B: Listen, stay right here. I'm only gonna be 5 more minutes. I'll come back and get your cell.
H: Ok

-I Do 2 more sets-

B: (walk up very slowly and confidently)
B: Do you ever look at people doing cardio. They all look like a bunch of robots in unison being controlled by some central force
H: Yeah, that's funny, hehe
B: Ok, write down your cell (now here is where i dont know if she was lying)
H: What's the new area code for Mass?
B: Uhh 339, not sure
H: I just got a new cell phone and it has a new area code
B: Ok, let's do this. here's my #. let's plan on meeting up at starbucks on Wed at 7:30. If you can't make it, give me a call.
H: ok, your name was Broham right? (forgot to write my name)
B: Yup. See you then.
H: Bye


Should I bother going? Do you think she'll flake? I need to work out after work so I might have to go in my gym clothes. Ideas?

 

[DinoCassanova]

Should I bother going? Do you think she'll flake? I need to work out after work so I might have to go in my gym clothes. Ideas?

>>> I'm not sure. Sounds like a nice smooth PU and # close though. Basically I would just test call the #, and see if it's real, before you go anywhere. Obviously if she gave you a fake # she's not going to be there. Oh, one other thing, me personally at least, I wouldn't go there in gym clothes OR work out before it. Couldn't you miss a workout one day? ~Dino

 

[locarius]

Call the number an hour ahead 'just to see if she can still make it'.

 

[Broham]

Originally posted by DinoCassanova
Should I bother going? Do you think she'll flake? I need to work out after work so I might have to go in my gym clothes. Ideas?

>>> I'm not sure. Sounds like a nice smooth PU and # close though. Basically I would just test call the #, and see if it's real, before you go anywhere. Obviously if she gave you a fake # she's not going to be there. Oh, one other thing, me personally at least, I wouldn't go there in gym clothes OR work out before it. Couldn't you miss a workout one day? ~Dino

She couldn't remember her new area code, therefore I didn't get her #. So, I gave her my # to call only if she couldn't make it. She hasn't called yet so there's two scenarios right now:
1. She's going
2. She'll flake

I'd definitely miss a workout if I knew she'd be there.

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

Originally posted by Broham
She couldn't remember her new area code. So, I gave her my # to call only if she couldn't make it. She hasn't called yet so there's two scenarios right now:
1. She's going
2. She'll flake

I'd definitely miss a workout if I knew she'd be there.

Why don't you take some clothes with you to the gym and shower when you get done at the gym, and then meet her at Starbucks? Just a thought, but most gyms do have showers in my town, and it's a small town.

 

[Broham]

Originally posted by The Nice Guy is Gone
Why don't you take some clothes with you to the gym and shower when you get done at the gym, and then meet her at Starbucks? Just a thought, but most gyms do have showers in my town, and it's a small town.

That's a good idea. I'm gonna drive home and pick up some clothes.

 

[ikkenai]

Look, don't take this the wrong way. I try to deconstruct every good or bad approach I do, so maybe this will help you. Maybe you'll just think I'm a jerk. Let's begin.

Originally posted by Broham
What's up guys. Here's a short field report of me and a HB8. I approached her while she was stretching near the cardio equipment, I was nearly done with my lifting.

Broham: Are you using this? (pointing to the mat)
HB8: No
B: Oh I see you have one of those new Ipods (I start fake stretching)
H: Yeah, I usually don't spend money on myself but I had to have this
B: --because everyone else does (I show her mine)
H: haha, right

Nice start, good little tease. If it were me, I wouldn't have shown her my ipod - I would've said "Yeah, you and the the rest of the world." By showing her that you're 'down' with the ipod thing, it's a subtle gesture of 'i'm cool too, accept me!'

Fake stretching? Are you using this? She can see straight through this crap, there's no need for you to do this right beside her. While I agree that you don't want to convey interest right off the bat (instead, go in neutral), I'm certain she can see right through this and knew it was a pickup. Tough balance to strike, but you've got to begin the interaction somewhere.

B: I must come here 100 times a week and I've never seen you here
H: Well I usually come after work. When do you come?
B: Random times usually. (lie)
H: Oh
B: I'm Broham btw, and you are....
H: Jen
B: Nice to meet you, you're the 56th Jen I know. So Jen, Are you training for a sport?
H: No, just trying to stay in shape. blah, blah I'm an IT manager
B: interesting I'm sell software
H: What kind?
B: Enterprise marketing management. (Jokingly) Let's not talk about work, its boring! Sooooo what do you do for fun?

BZZZT DEATH TOPIC! AVOID! Good deflection, I've pissed off/weirded out girls by saying the exact same thing though, "Bah, that topic is boring." She took it as a personal offense. After that, I try steer the conversation elsewhere without calling her out on her canned interaction. Anyhoo...

H: Well, I go out occasionally
B: Occasionally!? and I thought you were a fun girl!
H: Well, uhh....
B: Hey, I'm sure scrabble can be fun.
H: hahaha
B: Listen I gotta go finish my workout, I'm grabbin some coffee later, you wanna join me?
H: I actually can't tonight, that's nice of you to ask.
B: Well I'd like to continue or convo, how can I get ahold of you?
H: Are you gonna be here again this week.
B: Hmmm, I'm not sure (lie)
B: Listen, stay right here. I'm only gonna be 5 more minutes. I'll come back and get your cell.
H: Ok

-I Do 2 more sets-

C+F, time constraint, willingness to walk away. Good application of the tools.

B: (walk up very slowly and confidently)
B: Do you ever look at people doing cardio. They all look like a bunch of robots in unison being controlled by some central force
H: Yeah, that's funny, hehe

Weak dude, hopefully that wasn't your exact wording. I've cracked the same gag but implicated her in it, like "That's you, cardio queen looking all serious and sh!t."

B: Ok, write down your cell (now here is where i dont know if she was lying)
H: What's the new area code for Mass?
B: Uhh 339, not sure
H: I just got a new cell phone and it has a new area code
B: Ok, let's do this. here's my #. let's plan on meeting up at starbucks on Wed at 7:30. If you can't make it, give me a call.
H: ok, your name was Broham right? (forgot to write my name)
B: Yup. See you then.
H: Bye

That's hesitation. Not good.

I've been in the same spot a lot of times myself. Whether or not I got the number, I'll think "Did we talk long enough to make a connection, did I build enough intersest?"

I avoid making a date on the first meeting. Looking at how short the exchange was, she may be feeling buyer's remorse. Or not. Overall I think it's better to get the number, and call later (even if it's the next day). Give her a chance to validate you in her mind, instead of trying to put her in the hot seat like that. Would you jump into a commitment like that? Even if you want to buy the car, you feel more confident in your decision if you have the time to justify your purchase before dropping the cash. Maybe a little more rapport would be all it took to take this from "iffy" to "sure deal."

Just some thoughts, I've struggled with the gym pick-up myself.

 

[S-lemond]

u remeber the whole thing! wow

 

[Broham]

Ikkenai-

Thanks for the feedback. I don't think I hesitated at the end. She seriously couldn't think of the number and I didn't want to wait all day, so I just gave her mine. The Starbucks is literally across the st. from the gym, and she lives in the same town. Even though I didn't build a ton of rapport, I gave her enough reason to be interested. Plus, I don't think I forced her into anything or sounded needy. So, in your words, she isn't buying a car, she's going for a test drive.

 

[Tazman]

Inexperienced here, but everytime I've heard about a girl not being able to remember her phone # (cell, or whatever) it's a sign that she's not interested. Honestly, who "forgets" their cell number? If it's actually the truth why wouldn't they offer another number they could be reached at?

 

[DinoCassanova]

So basically Broham, what I would do at least, would be go to the Starbucks, dressed casual/nice (skip a workout) , and see if she shows. If she does , great. If not, write her off. Her loss. How long are you considering waiting? I would give it no more than 5 to 10 min's beyond the scheduled time. People can conceivably be 10 min's late, for something. But I'm sure there are guys who wouldn't give her much leeway at all on the time. If she doesn't show, I would totally freeze her out at the gym if/when you see her there again. Because then you'll know for sure she's a b!tch basically. Good luck. ~Dino

 

[HOSS83]

Originally posted by Tazman
Honestly, who "forgets" their cell number? If it's actually the truth why wouldn't they offer another number they could be reached at?

Haha, I actually laughed my ass off at this thread, cuz I live in Massachusetts and I have a new area code # and cant remember my new cell # yet either.. I was giving it out to a buddy the other day and I just froze up, like "i don't know my phone number" :crackup:

broham... where in sox nation are you?

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

Originally posted by Broham
Ikkenai-

Thanks for the feedback. I don't think I hesitated at the end. She seriously couldn't think of the number and I didn't want to wait all day, so I just gave her mine. The Starbucks is literally across the st. from the gym, and she lives in the same town. Even though I didn't build a ton of rapport, I gave her enough reason to be interested. Plus, I don't think I forced her into anything or sounded needy. So, in your words, she isn't buying a car, she's going for a test drive.

Well, how'd it go?

 

[Broham]

UPDATE:

She flaked. I kinda don't blame her. We only talked for 5-6 minutes so not much trust/rapport was built. I wish she had called me and at least made up a bs excuse why she couldn't go, but girls will be girls.


Hoss- I'm on the northshore but go into Boston frequently. PM me if you wanna sarge sometime.

 

[xblitz44x]

Originally posted by Broham
UPDATE:

She flaked. I kinda don't blame her. We only talked for 5-6 minutes so not much trust/rapport was built. I wish she had called me and at least made up a bs excuse why she couldn't go, but girls will be girls.


Hoss- I'm on the northshore but go into Boston frequently. PM me if you wanna sarge sometime.

It wasn't a bad exchange but it seemed a little forced. The first part of the conversation was great, but like another poster said, I wouldn't have changed topics "because it was boring". I would have let her tell about her job a little more. Immediately after that I would have said something like:

"Well I'm Jim, what's your name? Ok Jen, I'm going to get back to my workout, see you later."

It's a gym, you'll see her again (especially if she liked you during your first exchange), so you could have picked it up later and continued building rapport. Your approach seemed too cold, abrupt, and rushed...personally.

-Blitz

 

[Broham]

Blitz- All good points. I did ask her about her job, I just cut that part out.

The hard thing about picking up at the gym is that most girls use the cardio machines and rarely use the weight room. So the only time I can hit on them is when they are stretching in the stretch area. Last night a HB7 with an awesome ass was in the weight room and I couldn't resist. I was warming up for the bench and she was doing DB curls. Here's how the convo went:

Broham: Let me ask you something.
HB7: What's that?
B: What's with those pants with the writing on the ass? You're like the 4th girl in the gym I've seen with them on. (Her's said "BeBe" with a "Be" on each cheek)
H: hahaha, well those have been popular for awhile now
B: I know, I'm wondering why they don't make them for guys. Actually I'm pretty glad.
H: haha, actually I was in abercrombie and saw a pair for guys.
B: Are you serious? As a straight man I'm appalled. That's the last thing I want to look at.
B: and your name is?
H: Lee
B: Wow, can't say I know any girls named Lee.
H: Actually its LeeAnn
B: I'll call you LeeAnn then, so I don't confuse you with the guys I know named Lee
H: hehe, ok
B: Are you training for a sport?
H: No, I just always have to go to the gym or I feel bad about myself.
B: I'm the exact same way. Well its nice to meet you.

20 minutes go by, she's now doing cable pressdowns:

B: Ok, I need an honest answer here.
H: Ok
B: If you could have sex with any guy in this gym, who would it be? You can't say me.
H: hahahahahaha
B: Think about it and get back to me.

Suffice to say, she never got back to me. She either didn't care or wanted me to approach again.

This gives you an idea of the experimenting I'm doing.

 

[The Nice Guy is Gone]

But why are you approaching at a gym? The purpose of going to the gym is to get in shape, not hit on every hot girl you see.

 

[speedo_meme]

I don't think gyms are good places to pick up girls. My opinion. I think it's a good place to make eye contact and pick up on some faces, so that if you see them somewhere else, you can use the gym line. I pay to work out at a gym and most girls do the same. I usually make fun of the guys who strike out at the pick up games. Some of you might have success at it, but it's one of my golden rules not to try and be the cool pick up guys while the girls are trying to work out.

Be different, do things that all the other chumps don't do...

 

[xblitz44x]

Broham,

I respect the way you perceive each situation as an opportunity, and how you charge through your fear to approach, that is awesome. You are about 300 steps above a lot of people here.

Your problem is that you're TOO comfortable and seem to ignore her comfort level. When you reach the level you're at, and you're able to approach, start and sustain a conversation, and close...your next step is EMPATHY.

Empathy is understanding and considering another's situation or state. Put yourself in her shoes and imagine if a "strange" guy asked you in the first 10 minutes who you'd like to have sex with. It is extremely intrusive to some and you have to be aware of that.

Before you approach, put yourself in her shoes and think of how you can put HER more at ease so that she can more comfortable thus responsive to your advances.

Those two girls may very well have found you attractive, but your abrasive manner was a threat to them.

Great progress though, congrats.

Blitz

 

[seth03]

damn dude, i'm no DJ genious but i definitely know that you are 90 percent there. You know how to talk to girls, and have a classic sense of humor. Just remember what everyone else here has told you so far and you will do so well in the future. I know this post didn't say much, but I just want to make sure you know that you've got the hardest parts down, you just need to work on the small things. I actually really enjoy reading your convos, post some more! haha