FR: Approached a few sets at lunch.

[ElStud]

So I was at lunch and I made a few approaches.

Approach #1

So I basically go up to this set of girls and eat lunch there and this b1tch girl Erica says "Why is he sitting down? I'm confused" because I didn't say sh1t I just started to eat. Eventually the girls just left.

Approach #2

So I approached this group of girls at lunch. Not much to record here.. but I'll tell you what I remember.

- I open literally just talking to myself, then I turn to the girls and start talking to them about the game. Blah, blah, I notice they're getting interested and eventually this one chick gets really interested, that I start primarily talking to her.

- Eventually this dude who was sitting with the girls before comes in and asks me if I can move. I tell him he can move one of the girls purses and sit in that seat, but he decides to just stand up and move. Haha, I locked this dude out of the set.

- Eventually the girl leaves saying "I'll be right back" and yeah. After a few seconds, tired of waiting I go to game some other girls.

Approach #3

So I'm walking around at lunch, opening sets and I talk to this set of girls I already knew.

Me: So you guys excited for the football game?
Girl1: Oh yeah.
Girl2: [Cheers] Yeah!
Me: Uh... no.
Me: Anyway... [And I go into the cheerleader story]
Girl1: Yeah, can I wear your band shirt?
Me: I don't have one.
Me: So how are you guys going to cheer for me? [And I make some cheering noises]
Girl1: I don't know because you've been kind of mean to me.
Me: Well it'd be your loss not mine.
Girl1: No, it'd be your loss.

Blah blah... bell rings and that's that.

I'm basically working on being the higher value guy here. If I go into the set and the people in that set aren't interested(Which happened today), I just get up and go talk to another set because in my mind, if they aren't paying attention, that's they're fault.

 

[ElStud]

Added an approach.

 

[dav22]

Hmm not sure what to take from them really.. plus it seems in the third one that you're just being all out rude. It's one thing to be higher value but it's another to demonstrate it by putting other people down. It's only text though, if i'm wrong then correct me.

 

[ElStud]

Hmm not sure what to take from them really.. plus it seems in the third one that you're just being all out rude. It's one thing to be higher value but it's another to demonstrate it by putting other people down. It's only text though, if i'm wrong then correct me.

Uh... putting them down? I never put them down. Telling them that it's their loss is not putting them down.

 

[dav22]

Well SAYING it's their loss to me would seem pretty rude. If you really were the higher value guy you wouldn't need to say it at all, you get what i mean?

 

[ElStud]

Need more input on this.

 

[ChrizZ]

Approach #1: very creepy...

Approach #2: the "I started talking to myself" part is creepy, too. Also, I believe you didn't reach the sets hook point. You just started talking about boring stuff. In addition the way you stole the guys seat is also a DLV because it showed that you were threatened by him. You should have let him sit down and should have continued working the set.

Approach #3: You didn't create enough attraction and they didn't perceive you of higher value. The "it's your loss" part is a DLV, too. It also sounds like you were just being rude to them instead of C&F.

Did you approach all those sets during ONE lunch shift? If yes. Again, a DLV because you crashed and burned in all of them.

The problem is simply that you don't DHV. You don't have any value to the girls because you come off as insecure and arrogant which is a DLV. Pretend to be in the girls position. Some guy simply comes up out of nowhere just by himself and sits at your table and you don't know what he wants. You have to make them comfortable and DHV. The idea is not to creep them out.

good luck...

 

[ElStud]

Approach #1: very creepy...

Approach #2: the "I started talking to myself" part is creepy, too. Also, I believe you didn't reach the sets hook point. You just started talking about boring stuff. In addition the way you stole the guys seat is also a DLV because it showed that you were threatened by him. You should have let him sit down and should have continued working the set.

Approach #3: You didn't create enough attraction and they didn't perceive you of higher value. The "it's your loss" part is a DLV, too. It also sounds like you were just being rude to them instead of C&F.

Did you approach all those sets during ONE lunch shift? If yes. Again, a DLV because you crashed and burned in all of them.

The problem is simply that you don't DHV. You don't have any value to the girls because you come off as insecure and arrogant which is a DLV. Pretend to be in the girls position. Some guy simply comes up out of nowhere just by himself and sits at your table and you don't know what he wants. You have to make them comfortable. The idea is not to creep them out.

good luck...

Approach #1: It's only creepy if you think it is. I basically don't even see it as an approach, I just sat. See the thing about being higher value is I don't NEED anything from these girls, meaning I don't NEED them to talk to me. Besides these chicks should be more than happy when a higher value male sits with them. I don't need a fvcking reason to sit at your table. I didn't even attempt to talk to these girls because I saw no point. It's like if I wanted to interact with them I would've.

Approach #2: Boring stuff? How do you know you were there? No you don't know. And I was NOT threatened by the other guy, he just didn't have the balls to take the girls purse off the other seat and sit down. If anything he was threatened. The one girl I was talking to in this set was actually really interested giving me eye contact and stuff.

Approach #3: Yep, this one was kind of bad. But they didn't see me as high value? What? That's why one of the girls immediately shows interest when I go into the set? Uh huh, right. And a girl would just ask to wear ANY random guys band shirt too, hah.

In that last part, if I was a random girl and a high value guy came and sat at my table, I would be fascinated. Think of it as if Usher or someone who they already think is high value comes into the set, sure they might be RANDOM but girls already see them as high value. I go into sets with that mindset, that I AM already as high value to them as someone like Usher.

 

[Real]

approach one - when a girl says "why is he sitting here", then you know your creepy, take the hint and change your body language/style

oh, can you post a pic? cuz you seem to have had enough practice approaching to conquer anxiety, and at this point, you SHOULD actually be getting #s and dates, but it seems like after hundreds of approaches, you haven't made any actual progress in terms of hooking up. Post a pic, and if your looks are the problem, then i'll give you advice on how to improve yourself. Trust me, looks count, and no matter how fun/talkative/crazy you are in these sets, you will NOT have success unless the girls find you at least somewhat attractive

 

[ElStud]

approach one - when a girl says "why is he sitting here", then you know your creepy, take the hint and change your body language/style

oh, can you post a pic? cuz you seem to have had enough practice approaching to conquer anxiety, and at this point, you SHOULD actually be getting #s and dates, but it seems like after hundreds of approaches, you haven't made any actual progress in terms of hooking up. Post a pic, and if your looks are the problem, then i'll give you advice on how to improve yourself. Trust me, looks count, and no matter how fun/talkative/crazy you are in these sets, you will NOT have success unless the girls find you at least somewhat attractive

Uh, looks man? Sorry, putting myself in the latest metrosexual fashion is not going to help me get girls. "That" girl is known to be a b1tch anyway and her friends didn't say sh1t. I simply sat there and started eating. And what about body language? Should I show interest in these girls when I'm clearly not interested in them? No.

 

[Real]

u dont listen to advice, what the **** do you want from sosuave then?

so far, you only know how to NOT get girls, so obviously a big change in looks is what you need. girls will always reject guys they dont find to be attractive

 

[ElStud]

u dont listen to advice, what the **** do you want from sosuave then?

so far, you only know how to NOT get girls, so obviously a big change in looks is what you need. girls will always reject guys they dont find to be attractive

So attraction is all about looks, okay. Apparently you like to think that you're always right and anyone who doesn't agree with you is blasphemous, that's typical KBJ attitude. If you want to have a mature argument do it, if you're just going to pull that "I'm right, you're wrong" sh1t everyone else on this forum does, drop it. The point is, you're NOT always right.

 

[Real]

KJB attitude?

try this - ive had tons of experience with girls and women of all ages, and trust me when i say this, first thing women base whether they wanna hook up with u or not is HOW YOU LOOK

so ElStud, i read alot of your field reports, and girls keep dissing u pretty badly, so please post a pic so i can tell u whats up

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

The thing about being higher value is you shouldn't need to even try, so that whole 3rd conversation is mostly a DLV.

 

["Zee Germans"]

"Uh, looks man? Sorry, putting myself in the latest metrosexual fashion is not going to help me get girls" - ElStud

And what you're doing in the meantime is?

I've read back over some of your outings and they all seem similar, they're like the same things over and over. You're asking for input but we don't even know what your aims are. Please tell us.
IF your aim has been to get girl's numbers then our input would be to say you've failed spectacularly.
however
IF your aim has been to alleviate your approach anxieties then our input would be to say congratulations. You seem to approach when you want to converse with the women you want, and that's cool. Most bottle it.

Yes, ofcourse, we can't be there to see your body language, how the women react etc, but if you tell us what you aim to do then we can try and offer input/advice, whatever, on how you could meet those aims better.

PLEASE. What are you aiming for?

 

[dav22]

From skimming through this post again i've come to a conclusion: elstud can't take criticism.

We're pointing out where you went wrong to help YOU to IMPROVE. It's clear all of your approaches bombed, the first of which you're now saying 'wasn't really even an approach'.

What's the point in putting up approaches to be critiqued if you're going to argue with every point that's made?

 

[robstar]

From skimming through this post again i've come to a conclusion: elstud can't take criticism.

We're pointing out where you went wrong to help YOU to IMPROVE. It's clear all of your approaches bombed, the first of which you're now saying 'wasn't really even an approach'.

What's the point in putting up approaches to be critiqued if you're going to argue with every point that's made?

Captain obvious to the rescue!;-P Ha ha j/k man its just you should have come to that conclusion a LONG time ago...

Elstud.. stop lying to yourself.. you obviously don't see yourself as high value or else you'd actually be making moves, knowing that you will succeed.
Believe what you want, but being a high value male is not JUST about the mindset.. A 400 pound 5' 4" loser with no friends could repeat to himself in his head a billion times before he went into a set that he is the high value male and it still wouldn't mean ****. A high value male has tons of good things going in his life, he has a positive attitude that draws people in, follows his passions, has EXPERIENCE with girls and has lots of friends.
Seriously dude, the main advice I can give you is to stop stressing about this whole high value male bull****. A REAL high value male isn't constantly thinking to himself "**** if I do this like this then I won't be perceived as a higher value male!" And don't friggen just give up and go and talk to other people if one group isn't responding that great.. you can get people interested in you so much better by being interested in them, if you're friendly and interested in them they WILL warm up to you. People like people that like them. Period. Stop overthinking and just live life man. Try and kiss a girl, get into a fight, do things that make you feel alive!

 

[Grand Wizzard Alamar]

"Girl1: Oh yeah.
Girl2: [Cheers] Yeah!
Me: Uh... no."

^Strike 1 - you sound like.. I'll have to say a b!tch, sorry man but this is true.

"Me: Anyway... [And I go into the cheerleader story]
Girl1: Yeah, can I wear your band shirt?
Me: I don't have one.
Me: So how are you guys going to cheer for me? [And I make some cheering noises]"

^Strike 2 - you were mean about saying how you don't have a band shirt (if this really is true), then you're acting full of yourself, and she took it as you cheering about just being mean..

"Girl1: I don't know because you've been kind of mean to me.
Me: Well it'd be your loss not mine.
Girl1: No, it'd be your loss."

^Strike 3 - I'm really surprised at you... its not her loss but her gain, by not having to worry about someone who was being an ass and not caring about his actions, plus trying to act like you are better than her.

You're out.

---Don't try to act better than someone, this is DLV, again because you feel the need to act like you're better, and this includes bragging and the sort.
A girl doesn't like this type of jerk, because he leans more towards being an *******.. if you're joking about it kindly, or suprer smooth, then you don't lose her interest, or more importantly: respect.

 

[Alkali]

Approach One: Weird, creepy, and everything in between. You're socially exempt, aren't you? Try talking next time. Be direct! You came off as either a weirdo or a psusy. Neither or very helpful for your cause.

Approach Two: Why the hell would you talk to yourself? The chick was worried not interested.

Approach Three: Seemed as though you were pissing them off rather than accomplishing the tense, stand-offish flirting you were shooting for. It takes some getting used to, but you need to start with the basics.

Start off by getting off your high horse. You're obviously no better than anyone else. Jerks v AFCs? You need to have certain qualities of both categories. Push them away with playful jibes, bring them back with flattering words.

 

[HandyAndy]

ive read through your approaches, and man....your totally boring, im being serious here, have some energy and let the conversation flow, it looks like all your thinking of is what to say next, just let it be. have some fun and stop talking about the same things with girls, "are you going to the game" that kinda BS is boring talk.