BPH
Master Don Juan
Maybe the best way to teach this is with a specific example. Since this happened just last night and is fresh in my mind I thought it would be helpful to describe my thought process and why I did what I did throughout this interaction.
This may be long, so let's get into it.
I matched with this girl on Bumble maybe 2 weeks ago (another reason why I advocate for having the big 3 dating apps, disappointing as they may be 99% of the time). She had recently moved to Philadelphia and works as a flight attendant. We had a short conversation over Bumble where I asked her for her number and set up plans to meet up at a bar up near her that first Friday night.
Unfortunately, she flaked at the last minute - said she was too tired, but that she was free Saturday and next weekend. I offered to reschedule for later that weekend, but don't hear back from her till Monday when she just said "Hi", and then went ghost again after I responded.
I left it alone until the next weekend when I asked if she was free, as she mentioned previously. She responded that she was working, so again, I left it alone. At this point, I assume nothing's going to happen with this girl; compared to how our first conversation went her responses are now shorter and I have to initiate.
I go into next weekend with low expectations in mind and just toss out a "How about this weekend?" text after finishing my Friday shift, to which she surprisingly responds that she's free that night. The plan is the same as it was the first time I pitched it, so we meet up at a bar within walking distance to her out in Philly at around 11 PM.
For the first hour or so the conversation is pretty much the usual small talk; I find that she's only been living in Philly for a couple of months and hasn't really been out much. She lives with her best friend and that friend's cat in a pretty nice apartment which is right next to where I parked, conveniently, also within walking distance. We trade stories about some funny negative experiences meeting up with people from dating apps and how it made her hesitant to redownload and meet up with me. She tells me that she's relieved I actually look like my pictures, but for this same reason she's very self-conscious about hers; how it's been 6 months since she took updated photos and feels less attractive since moving here, how she's been busy and stressed out, and how she needs to start going back to the gym.
Again, similar to the older woman I slept with a few weeks prior - her complaints, not mine. I'm starting to notice a pattern with older women where even if they're attractive, they'll lament about a time they were more attractive. For context, this woman is 35 compared to my 30. Also, because I'm sure some people will assume I withhold this stuff; yes I told her that I'm currently living with my parents, and yes, she saw that I drove up in a Prius.
As the night goes on and the bar starts to empty we decide to move to a quieter section near a pool table. We continue drinking and chatting. I move to sit next to her rather than across while we take a shot and then say "I'm gonna try something" and lean in to kiss her. She's receptive but shy, stating that she feels like I'm moving quickly and that she doesn't really know me that well yet. So I slow down, we talk a little more, particularly about her love for Maine Coon cats, her family history moving across the country, and stories about some of the places she's visited during Yacht Week. I recalibrate and kiss her more often - nothing crazy like full-on makeouts - but she's pulling away less and I feel her getting more comfortable with me. We play a game of pool where I joke that if I win she has to kiss me, but if she wins I have to kiss her, to which she laughs, agrees, and I end up winning my prize.
All of this has been really slow going, but I'm not sure what her intentions are. She's kissing me, but she's a little hesitant, so I pause and ask her what kind of night she wants to have. The way I pose this question is by asking whether she wants to keep drinking or whether she wants to leave soon. She responds jokingly "that must be my plan"; to keep drinking so I can't drive home and have to stay over at her place. She laughs about it and says that "she guesses" that it would be irresponsible for me to drive back, so we order more drinks and decide we'll walk back to hers after a few more rounds.
This is good. She even quickly calls her roommate to see whether she's home and finds that she's still out visiting her dad and doesn't expect to return that night. So this woman is becoming more receptive to me escalating with her, has agreed to invite me over to the apartment after a drunken night out, and will be alone with no roommates or friends to worry about judging her. I want to point this out because it's important for guys to make the move, and to consider what a woman does, and not only what she says.
Some guys might've stopped when she wasn't as into the kiss the first time around - or may not have even gone for the kiss at all. Others might assume her interest level isn't that high and have been content with the kiss close, not trying to escalate further. Like a friend once told me "you never know how fast you can take a turn until you crash". Not great life advice, but pretty good advice when it comes to moving things along with a woman.
Once we leave it's a short walk back to her apartment. She has a nice place; very spacious, with lots of girly festive decorations, easily a $3,000/mo+ place. She offers me more wine and orders herself a pizza. Apparently she's not feeling the greatest and hasn't eaten all day, and now she wants to get some food and a little bit of a buzz going so she can loosen up around me, as she's still pretty nervous and hesitant when I'm kissing her. She changes into some comfy clothes and we watch some movies while getting even more drunk, enjoying a couple of slices of pizza along the way.
This goes on for several more hours. At this point, I'm not sure how the night is going to end; I'm in her apartment, we're both drunk, it's late at night and we're alone together, but she still has some of the same issues as when we were at the bar - she feels like I'm moving fast and doesn't know me well enough yet. She says that she understands if I'd want to leave because she knows she's being boring and has been feeling "out of it".
I reassure her that we can move at whatever pace she's comfortable with and that I'm still having a good time, which makes her happy. She asks me a bit about myself and I give a little more of my backstory. Now she's becoming even more receptive. I'm scratching her back while we watch our movies and massaging her neck. We're making out more frequently and she's even initiating now, noting that she feels better. I'm pulling her top out of the way and licking her nips while I massage her through her panties.
At this point, I know it's on. She's noting that she feels better now that she's had some food, her headache's gone away, and she's got a nice buzz going. This is the part I'm best at - physical escalation. Now that she's comfortable with me and doesn't feel like I'm some stranger she's about to sleep with, we can move forward.
After repeating the above on and off a few times I slip my fingers under her panties - at this point, it's over (every guy should learn this skill...it is easily one of the best ways to seduce a woman whose on the fence when you don't even need her naked to do it - you can literally find YouTube videos instructing on how to do this properly). I get her to c*m several times over with my fingers alone before she starts slipping her bottoms all the way off and trying to get me to do the same. So we strip down, I take her to her bedroom, and d*ck her down once, then again maybe an hour later after we've continued watching our movie.
At this point it's about 7 AM, so we head to bed and drunkenly sleep in until about 1 PM. We get up, I straighten myself out and get dressed, she walks me to the door and kisses me goodbye, and I leave. I text her when I get home (since every girl seems to like that) and jokingly tell her I'm glad she made it to the date this time, and we've been having some back-and-forth conversation throughout tonight.
I wouldn't be opposed to seeing her more. The sex was good, she had very nice fake boobs (I'm definitely a boob guy), pitched in to buy drinks and provide for me at her apartment, and it's nice to have somebody I can stay over with in Philly if I'm ever out with friends. It's just a pain driving about an hour to get there.
Anyway, maybe some younger guys can learn something from reading this, maybe not, but feel free to ask questions and I'd be happy to elaborate. Hope you all had as good a night as I did.
Quick Edit:
Because I think this is especially relevant for @nismo-4 's recent situation, this is a perfect example of why you shouldn't blow up a conversation. This woman wasn't very responsive, she flaked, and I had low expectations. If she responded negatively, cool, I move on and hang out with one of my other girls instead - a negative response doesn't affect me, but as you can see, a positive response can turn into quite a bit of fun.
This may be long, so let's get into it.
I matched with this girl on Bumble maybe 2 weeks ago (another reason why I advocate for having the big 3 dating apps, disappointing as they may be 99% of the time). She had recently moved to Philadelphia and works as a flight attendant. We had a short conversation over Bumble where I asked her for her number and set up plans to meet up at a bar up near her that first Friday night.
Unfortunately, she flaked at the last minute - said she was too tired, but that she was free Saturday and next weekend. I offered to reschedule for later that weekend, but don't hear back from her till Monday when she just said "Hi", and then went ghost again after I responded.
I left it alone until the next weekend when I asked if she was free, as she mentioned previously. She responded that she was working, so again, I left it alone. At this point, I assume nothing's going to happen with this girl; compared to how our first conversation went her responses are now shorter and I have to initiate.
I go into next weekend with low expectations in mind and just toss out a "How about this weekend?" text after finishing my Friday shift, to which she surprisingly responds that she's free that night. The plan is the same as it was the first time I pitched it, so we meet up at a bar within walking distance to her out in Philly at around 11 PM.
For the first hour or so the conversation is pretty much the usual small talk; I find that she's only been living in Philly for a couple of months and hasn't really been out much. She lives with her best friend and that friend's cat in a pretty nice apartment which is right next to where I parked, conveniently, also within walking distance. We trade stories about some funny negative experiences meeting up with people from dating apps and how it made her hesitant to redownload and meet up with me. She tells me that she's relieved I actually look like my pictures, but for this same reason she's very self-conscious about hers; how it's been 6 months since she took updated photos and feels less attractive since moving here, how she's been busy and stressed out, and how she needs to start going back to the gym.
Again, similar to the older woman I slept with a few weeks prior - her complaints, not mine. I'm starting to notice a pattern with older women where even if they're attractive, they'll lament about a time they were more attractive. For context, this woman is 35 compared to my 30. Also, because I'm sure some people will assume I withhold this stuff; yes I told her that I'm currently living with my parents, and yes, she saw that I drove up in a Prius.
As the night goes on and the bar starts to empty we decide to move to a quieter section near a pool table. We continue drinking and chatting. I move to sit next to her rather than across while we take a shot and then say "I'm gonna try something" and lean in to kiss her. She's receptive but shy, stating that she feels like I'm moving quickly and that she doesn't really know me that well yet. So I slow down, we talk a little more, particularly about her love for Maine Coon cats, her family history moving across the country, and stories about some of the places she's visited during Yacht Week. I recalibrate and kiss her more often - nothing crazy like full-on makeouts - but she's pulling away less and I feel her getting more comfortable with me. We play a game of pool where I joke that if I win she has to kiss me, but if she wins I have to kiss her, to which she laughs, agrees, and I end up winning my prize.
All of this has been really slow going, but I'm not sure what her intentions are. She's kissing me, but she's a little hesitant, so I pause and ask her what kind of night she wants to have. The way I pose this question is by asking whether she wants to keep drinking or whether she wants to leave soon. She responds jokingly "that must be my plan"; to keep drinking so I can't drive home and have to stay over at her place. She laughs about it and says that "she guesses" that it would be irresponsible for me to drive back, so we order more drinks and decide we'll walk back to hers after a few more rounds.
This is good. She even quickly calls her roommate to see whether she's home and finds that she's still out visiting her dad and doesn't expect to return that night. So this woman is becoming more receptive to me escalating with her, has agreed to invite me over to the apartment after a drunken night out, and will be alone with no roommates or friends to worry about judging her. I want to point this out because it's important for guys to make the move, and to consider what a woman does, and not only what she says.
Some guys might've stopped when she wasn't as into the kiss the first time around - or may not have even gone for the kiss at all. Others might assume her interest level isn't that high and have been content with the kiss close, not trying to escalate further. Like a friend once told me "you never know how fast you can take a turn until you crash". Not great life advice, but pretty good advice when it comes to moving things along with a woman.
Once we leave it's a short walk back to her apartment. She has a nice place; very spacious, with lots of girly festive decorations, easily a $3,000/mo+ place. She offers me more wine and orders herself a pizza. Apparently she's not feeling the greatest and hasn't eaten all day, and now she wants to get some food and a little bit of a buzz going so she can loosen up around me, as she's still pretty nervous and hesitant when I'm kissing her. She changes into some comfy clothes and we watch some movies while getting even more drunk, enjoying a couple of slices of pizza along the way.
This goes on for several more hours. At this point, I'm not sure how the night is going to end; I'm in her apartment, we're both drunk, it's late at night and we're alone together, but she still has some of the same issues as when we were at the bar - she feels like I'm moving fast and doesn't know me well enough yet. She says that she understands if I'd want to leave because she knows she's being boring and has been feeling "out of it".
I reassure her that we can move at whatever pace she's comfortable with and that I'm still having a good time, which makes her happy. She asks me a bit about myself and I give a little more of my backstory. Now she's becoming even more receptive. I'm scratching her back while we watch our movies and massaging her neck. We're making out more frequently and she's even initiating now, noting that she feels better. I'm pulling her top out of the way and licking her nips while I massage her through her panties.
At this point, I know it's on. She's noting that she feels better now that she's had some food, her headache's gone away, and she's got a nice buzz going. This is the part I'm best at - physical escalation. Now that she's comfortable with me and doesn't feel like I'm some stranger she's about to sleep with, we can move forward.
After repeating the above on and off a few times I slip my fingers under her panties - at this point, it's over (every guy should learn this skill...it is easily one of the best ways to seduce a woman whose on the fence when you don't even need her naked to do it - you can literally find YouTube videos instructing on how to do this properly). I get her to c*m several times over with my fingers alone before she starts slipping her bottoms all the way off and trying to get me to do the same. So we strip down, I take her to her bedroom, and d*ck her down once, then again maybe an hour later after we've continued watching our movie.
At this point it's about 7 AM, so we head to bed and drunkenly sleep in until about 1 PM. We get up, I straighten myself out and get dressed, she walks me to the door and kisses me goodbye, and I leave. I text her when I get home (since every girl seems to like that) and jokingly tell her I'm glad she made it to the date this time, and we've been having some back-and-forth conversation throughout tonight.
I wouldn't be opposed to seeing her more. The sex was good, she had very nice fake boobs (I'm definitely a boob guy), pitched in to buy drinks and provide for me at her apartment, and it's nice to have somebody I can stay over with in Philly if I'm ever out with friends. It's just a pain driving about an hour to get there.
Anyway, maybe some younger guys can learn something from reading this, maybe not, but feel free to ask questions and I'd be happy to elaborate. Hope you all had as good a night as I did.
Quick Edit:
Because I think this is especially relevant for @nismo-4 's recent situation, this is a perfect example of why you shouldn't blow up a conversation. This woman wasn't very responsive, she flaked, and I had low expectations. If she responded negatively, cool, I move on and hang out with one of my other girls instead - a negative response doesn't affect me, but as you can see, a positive response can turn into quite a bit of fun.
