Fourth part: The lost secrets of conversation

[-Boogerman-]

You have ever made an approach and wonder, what’s next? To be able to seduce, you have to be able to have a conversation with her. There are a few basic outlines to be able to get inside her head through conversation. I also want to say that the DJ’s way of communicating should not always be C+F and a lot of confidence. That way of being a DJ is BAD! You should instead adopt the conversation depending on what girl it is. It will give much better results, and you will thank me.


Part I – Focus her attention on you

You can never get any connection with a person who does not listen entirely to your words. Seduction is based on that she has all her attention on you. To be able to focus her attention on you there is a few principles you can use.

• Use your humor – People want to talk to other people who make them feel good
• Stand out from the rest persons – Similarity is boring, uniqueness is intriguing, have unique jewelry or some really exotic clothes.
• Make an appeal to her weaknesses – You can play a little shy, scared or a little sad.
  
  Master DJ’s out here are going to kill me. This will give her the control, they might say. Yes, it certainly does. But you show that they are in control, and that satisfies most people. (They might have the illusion of being in control, but you are still not plain and simple, you are a mystery; that separates you from other shy guys.)
  
  You also get them to feel sympathy for you and that they don’t expect that it is really you who are in control. (PU’s tend to be perfect in their approach, and that can intimidate and show that you are dangerous). Use this sympathy to separate her from her friends and the seduction can begin. You can also make what I call a sympathy approach:
  
  “*in a little shy voice*Forgive me to interrupting you, normally I do not have the courage to approach people like this. I just feel that your aura radiate friendliness, and I really wanted to talk to you to see if you are as friendly as you look. I hope you don’t mind.”
  
  This approach should be done, when the person seems like an open person, b1tches will just blow you off. If you have read my other posts then you can see that I did an expectation on her; that she was friendly. How can she be friendly and blow you off at the same time?

If you use the sympathy approach then make sure you do not do the average Joe conversation with her. “How are you doing?” “What do you do?” “ZzZzZz”. Remember that a shy or scared person can be confident. Never, ever leave your confidence behind.


Part II – Lead her away from distraction

This step is crucial. It should be executed as soon as you feel that you have the chance to do it. Connection can never be formed if you get interrupted. It is much like daydreaming. When you are in the middle of a wonderful dream; someone might call your name and the daydream disappears instantly. Connection IS that vulnerable. You can build slightly connection with her through your humor; but you will never get deep inside her by joking with her. Have that in mind.

So if you are in a place where it is hard to talk, then get away from there as soon as you can. I cannot give you any example on this matter because it depends so much of the environment you are in. What calm, easy environment can you find around? If there is no calm and easy environment around then try to find the spot where you will not get interrupted. Beware of the environment change; if you leave an environment and walk to another, the other person’s connection to you will be lost and that you have to rebuild it again. There is another thing that I use that can prevent this from happening; every time I make a woman laugh or feel good I either smile a little in a certain way, move my arm in a certain pattern. This will make her to remember the feelings.

 

[-Boogerman-]

Part III – The conversation from beginning to end

The initial process of the pick-up is to break the ice and change the state of mind in the girl you wishes to seduce. This can be done with humor in the approach or something sudden that catches her off-guard. The approach we have already discussed, now we are going to talk about the conversation and the seduction that follows.

The talking is rather hard to divide into pieces; I have divided into these, failure at any of them will lead to failure in seduction, or just temporary ruin:

1. Introduction – This is the introduction, which should be done with humor or a sudden approach; if necessary add a negative hit or two.
   
   Do: Smile, adjust your body language for the type of girl she is. (If she is shy, showing to much confidence is not always good, you can intimidate her, we like persons who manifests our bad personality traits; such as shyness) add humor.
   
   Don’t: Use any KINO if it isn’t used in a natural way such as this approach: “Hi, you have something on your back, *with a little stilted movement wipe it away from her back* didn’t want people to laugh at you.” It will get her biatchshield up if it isn’t natural.
   
2. Validation – This phase she decides if you are dangerous and she checks your personality so you can be put in a category. The first 5 to 10 minutes. This includes the “get to know”-phase. You have to watch every word you say. Humor is ESSENTIAL and some small doses of ****y – Funny can be good. Do not tell you about yourself, only if she asks. The key feeling for you to focus on is JOY.
   
   Do: Be funny and add some C+F. Always adjust the communication of her state of mind. Avoid sexual talk if she isn’t a person who is highly sexual or if you are in an environment it fit. Focus conversation at her! Look her in the eyes at least 50% of the time and have a slight tilt on your head and a small natural smile. (No teeth).
   
   Don’t: Interrupt or tell about yourself. Talk to soon after she has talked. Let it be a short silence, otherwise you are insulting her! Use KINO much.
   
3. Connection – By now you should have isolated her interests and what she enjoy doing. You should also have gotten some insights on what kind of person she is. Lay off the humor a little and add up some C+F and a couple of negative hits. Bring her of the pedestal if she seems far above you. To get her to feel connected to you, agree of what she says when she tell you something. Get her to talk about her interests and why she likes them, let her describe how it feels. Look for the needs in her stories; is there anything she refers to all the time?
   
   “Ohh, I enjoy horseback riding, the thrill I get when mounting up on a horse in the early morning, it makes my day. And the freedom of course, it seems as all worries disappear.”
   
   This girl seems to want excitement and a little danger and free her mind from the everyday worries. A great way of telling some of these needs is to ask about what movies she likes. We like to see people on the screen that can either reinforce our value, or live out a hidden desire. For example, let’s take me as an example:
   
   As an AFC I enjoyed the movie “Virtual Sexuality”. To reinforce my worth as a nice guy, I felt familiar with the geek Chas. I wanted to feel that the world was unfair to me and the poor loser Chas. Yet, I also fantasized about being Jake, and looking as good as he, and being so nice as he. Just from that you can probably tell that I didn’t feel good-looking enough and that I felt mistreated by the world. What do you think would happen if a girl approached me and made me feel like the most beautiful man alive? KA-SHING!
   
   When she tells her what movie she likes, ask her why and what person she liked/disliked. Talking about our needs and hidden ambitions trigger deep connection! The key emotion here is CONNECTION.
   
   Do: Talk about her interests; find out why she likes that particular thing. Get her to talk as much as possible about her positive emotions. (Or negative if she is so happy, it is hard to seduce a person who is happy. Let her talk about her fears and her bad experiences.) Eye contact should be 60-75 % have the same tilt on your head and a small smile. Start to add seduction. Try to lead her to think about you as you
   
   Don’t: CHANGE SUBJECT AT ANY TIME. You are beginning to build connection with her, and changing the subject or letting it die out will kill much of the connection. Don’t be structural with your language, if they can predict you, the connection will die. Be her therapist, listen don’t give advice.
   
4. Deepening the connection – This face is where you should lay off the humor and the C+F to almost nothing. This is the magic moments you should strive for. This is also a very blurry battlefield. You should add some resistance so she must fight a little to know some of your secrets. If she thinks she is special if she get you to tell her about your inner self, she will also get more attracted to you. We like persons who like us. When we tell about our truest inner self, then we will feel a very strong connection to this person. Unlike the other connection, this one will hold even if you leave. Get her to talk about her values, beliefs and needs. Be VERY vague if you tell her something. For example, saying, “I think life is strange.” Is better than saying, “I think life is strange because I am always waking up on the other side of the bed then the one I fell asleep in.” That does not leave her anything to fantasize about. To deepen your connection all you say must be able to mean anything to her. Why would we listen on music if it didn’t give us something?
   
   At this step it is good to tell stories that have a point to her needs, beliefs or values. As long as she gets something from the things you say, images in her head, emotions or anything that affect her, you can talk as much as you want. Look at her eyes to see if she defocus. That means she are having a fantasy and is far away from the world and your voice is the only thing that she can hear. The things you say now doesn’t have to be true, blur as much between reality and dream as you can, make her find herself in a magic land, that only you can give her.

I cannot give you any good examples of this; it is not just steps. You are not simply doing on phase and then directly going to the next. It is a process, a flow. Be aware of that and change gradually as she opens up to you. These tips require much own work, you will have to think for yourself and adopt a style that fit you.


Part IV – Important factors to effective conversation

Just speaking will not get you anywhere. If you have an annoying voice then no matter how clever your words are; you will have no chance. So let get into what you have to do to be the perfect conversationalist.

• Tone of voice – Your voice should always express the emotion you are describing or just plain enthusiasm and friendliness if you are not describing any emotions. There is however an exception to this rule. Always communicate with an emotion I your voice that fit the girl’s state of mind.
  
• Adjust body language – Never just have one way of moving yourself, as a DJ you must be able to seem weak and frail as much as you must be able to be seen as strong and powerful. Adopt the body language to the girl’s personality and her state of mind.
  
• Never be afraid to alter your own personality to get the impression you want. Remember that you are a Joker in the deck of cards, any card that fit at any time, that is you.

 

[-Boogerman-]

Part V – Negative Hitting in the Boogerman’s way

Just a few examples I use. Some connection should be established.

• Stepping back – When she tells about something that she have done or like then I nod my head a little stressful and an uncertain smile and carefully start to back away.
• Looking at her in an odd way – The same as above except that I lean my body backwards and stare at her in a peculiar way, as she was a demon.
• Coughing – When she tells something about herself or what she has done I start to cough and add a little laugh so she notice. I do it with a smile.
• ”I don’t want to laugh” – I say that and start to laugh for a second and then being very serious saying “Sorry” and starting to laugh again a little longer.
• Insult with laughter – If she ask for an opinion like “How do I look in this?” I say: “Well I don’t want to insult the rhinos…”
• Age exchange – When I ask for her age, I always look surprised. “Wow, you looked much younger, I thought you were 14 or something.” (By the way, I go for ladies in the twenties; who want to look mature. )
• ”You are…” – If she tell something about herself or something about what she have done I usually say, “Hey, take it easy, you are scaring me now” or just “*look at her with fear in your eyes* You are scary!”

Part VI – Seducing the sad

The faint-hearted should not read this part! (You will do it anyway just because it is more interesting when I say that you shouldn’t, so go on)

This is my favorite thing to do! I think it is a neglected part of seduction so I will write some things about it. When people are sad we drop all barriers and talk about our emotions and needs. As I stated before, this is VERY connecting. The wrong thing people make however is not to agree with the sad person. If the sad person says… “He left me… *sob* why am I so worthless?” Most people would here state: “You are not worthless, you are good, he is worthless.” And thereby making her reject them. The fun thing is that if you say what she thinks, she will not reject you; she is so influenced by her negative emotion so you can even insult her deeply. You can lead a sad person astray and control their emotions very easy. If she is crying then you are free to say whatever you want. You can even say “I know you are worthless, but what are you going to do about it?”

The only thing you should think about is that you always should refer all your proposals you make to her back to her own feelings.

Seducing the sad pattern:

• Gain trust by listening to her either agreeing with her or just staying neutral in the process. Try to match her tone of voice. Be tender and gentle.
• Sow confusion by asking her what she is going to do, ask her why it happened, and just get her confused. Act strong and reliable.
• In the middle of the confusion say something like this. “*say with a little uncertainty* Well… I had a girlfriend who happened to the exact same thing as you, she managed to get him back. She just… *look confused* no, forget that I said anything, you don’t want to hear” (of course she will hear.) Tell whatever she did then the girl will do the same thing just to get her reward.
• If you propose her to have sex with you then let her do the seducing, and say that she is not herself.

I know that some things may seem very blurry, ask me if you wonder anything.

 

[mystik]

=O good post

 

[Dario]

Niiiiiiiiiiice!

But a little too long

 

[Squy]

Original Posted By -Boogerman-
Age exchange – When I ask for her age, I always look surprised. “Wow, you looked much younger, I thought you were 14 or something.” (By the way, I go for ladies in the twenties; who want to look mature. )

I kinda ****ed up this one couple months ago:

This chick I thought was about 20 (I'm 20).

I try to get her age:
me: So which kindergarten do you go to? (smiling)

her: You mean college? (in a serious way, pretended like she didnt hear me right)

me: Umm yeah college, i meant college (I didnt expect that kind of reply)

her: naw, I'm done with that. I'm 28.

me: Whoa. You kidding me? 28???

She was REALLY 28. I also found out she was married too, Needless to say, NEXT. Damn she looked so young, she was flattered though...