Four Girls Stare, But Won't Talk To Me!!

[newhotness]

I'm getting this more and more: girls who stare repeatedly but are very frosty when I try to talk to them. I am walking into a restaurant with a friend. A table of four girls clearly stares at us wide eyed gawking out the window. They are all nervous and wide eyed. They stare and then look at each other, continually. I'm not peacocked, but it's Saturday night, so I know it's on. My friend's a bit AFC so I know he won't wing.

I sit down but then remember I don't have my cell. I pass by the table of four girls again. I'm in the line of sight of one of them, a blonde 7. She's talking with her friends, but also eyeing me repeatedly as I get closer to her table. I decide to open, even though I hadn't intended to really do any pickup in the restaurant.

"Hi, my name is New." I say and extend my hand for a handshake.
The blonde's body language is extremely guarded now. She's slumped back, her arms are folded, she's not smiling, and stares at me for what seems like forever before she extends her hand and tells me her name. The other three girls ignore me completely.

The reception is so frosty, I just keep on walking after that.

The girls stared so frequently and so obviously, I am certain this is an AI (approach invitation). Yet when I do talk to one of them, she is as cold as can be. Who can explain this contradiction?

 

[Tomatoes]

Are you a good looking lad?

That contradiction applies if this is so....Let me explain. You see a HB 10. You gawk amazed how good she looks. She comes over and talks to you. You go into ultra shy mode and freeze up.

Watch thier reactions after in this situation...She will be kicking herself if the above is the case for being cagey



Sarge On!

 

[white belt]

Yes man you could be really good looking and that maybe the reason why they were frosty. But I also see another problem in this situation, firstly you say that the girls were looking over at yous all the time but for yous to know that you would also have to be looking back maybe they were thinking, 'what in the heck are those guys looking at!' Thats one observation.

The other thing is that when you approached you said 'Hi I am blah,' and held out your hand. On the face of it this seems like a neutral approach but I think there is a subtext of you trying to get approval here. What in my opinion would have been better is if you had went up and said, 'you know its rude to stare,' but make it sort of funny so she doesn't really know whether you are joking or being serious here. Now if you had have done what i said above and done it right I believe that the interaction would have been totally different. She would have been a bit embarassed and would have tried to explain why or something else but in essence what you have done is to create value for yourself and your mate, bam you have attraction and you should be able to frame control the convo from there and flow into natural convo with a bit of skill. I have to say man cold approached are difficult when there is resistance like that.:moon:

 

[SamePendo]

Yeah, and giving your hand.. it may come of as intrusive, since, as the example given by Tomatoes, they get all shy etc, even if they are attracted to you. Give them some seconds to be at ease with you... do some c&f on how they are staring.

 

[wayword]

for yous to know that you would also have to be looking back maybe they were thinking, 'what in the heck are those guys looking at!' Thats one observation.

Exactly. EC does not always = AI. Maybe they just caught you looking at them and they were checking you out. Doesn't mean they were necessarily interested, though. You coulda been 300 lbs and they still woulda been looking.

If they were attracted (not just curious), they might have given you a slight smile or something.

 

[Le Parisien]

Exactly. EC does not always = AI. Maybe they just caught you looking at them and they were checking you out. Doesn't mean they were necessarily interested, though. You coulda been 300 lbs and they still woulda been looking.

If they were attracted (not just curious), they might have given you a slight smile or something.

Exactly!

Hot women and people in general would keep looking at things/people they find attractive, or intriguing, or weird out of common or sometimes even things they feel disgusted by.

We've all seen at certain point of our life some old hags in their 40s who think they are still the hot sh*t, with tons of tasteless makeup and squeezed into very tight and skimpy outfits. In these cases, I can't help looking at them. Not because I was thinking "damn she' hot, I want her", but more "damn I really feel sorry for her" and I would cringe internally and just keep looking. I'm sure sometimes these women would think that people actually want them when they keep looking...:nervous: :crackup:

I'm not saying your are the male equivalent of this, but just to give you another possibility. It's not because girls keep looking that they are necessarily attracted, sometimes they are just checking out some one behind you or the decoration around you or your friend or some other random things.

Only her openness or the lack of it during your interaction with her will tell her real intentions.
Anyway, it's well known that we guys assume attraction too easily...

 

[newhotness]

Tomatoes: yes, I get approached by chicks and receive compliments on my looks quite frequently. Girls do stare all the time.

White: as far as the handshake being intrusive, I was thinking that myself later, but the thing is, she seemed quite frosty even as I was just saying hi, before the handshake. I thought the handshake would be a friendly gesture, kind of an icebreaker.

Hey, no offense guys, but I was really hoping I'd get feedback from guys who had encountered similar situations. Instead, it seems like a lot of keyboard jockey speculation. I'd like to hear back from guys who have a lot of field experience. Is the board always like this? Seems like lots of guys who don't actually sarge doling out feedback.

Are you a good looking lad?

That contradiction applies if this is so....Let me explain. You see a HB 10. You gawk amazed how good she looks. She comes over and talks to you. You go into ultra shy mode and freeze up.

Watch thier reactions after in this situation...She will be kicking herself if the above is the case for being cagey



Sarge On!

 

[realsmoothie]

Tomatoes: yes, I get approached by chicks and receive compliments on my looks quite frequently. Girls do stare all the time.

White: as far as the handshake being intrusive, I was thinking that myself later, but the thing is, she seemed quite frosty even as I was just saying hi, before the handshake. I thought the handshake would be a friendly gesture, kind of an icebreaker.

Hey, no offense guys, but I was really hoping I'd get feedback from guys who had encountered similar situations. Instead, it seems like a lot of keyboard jockey speculation. I'd like to hear back from guys who have a lot of field experience. Is the board always like this? Seems like lots of guys who don't actually sarge doling out feedback.

Well, duh!

If I was capable of running out there and "sarging" everything in sight, I wouldn't be spending time on a message board.

As for your question.. maybe you're not getting any responses from guys who have similar situations because there aren't any. It's my experience that a girl that's interested in you doesn't sit there and gawk, especially once you've made eye contact, and ESPECIALLY if she's hot.

 

[SamePendo]

1 + 1 = 2
2 + 1 = 3
3 + 1 = ?

 

[white belt]

Non taken tomato, we were not there and it would impossible to give accurate advice without knowing all the info. There is a Callibration topic that I think you should have a look at, maybe it will have some info you need

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=108848

 

[rrrrr]

as soon as i got out of high school, the "gawking" and "staring" days came to an end. These may be younger girls.

The only thing that happens anymore is a woman will smile at me when i am looking at her. lately it seems like they look at me, look away and smile.

 

[newhotness]

Five r's,

Wouldn't it be great if every approach invitation were as straightforward as yours, lol? I get those too, but just as often, a girl will stare and then smirk at me, or stare and then not be willing to talk to me. Staring is a very unreliable indicator of how a girl will react later on. I read the following from Tyler Durden which was helpful. TD points out that you can 'fry out' a girl's circuits if you arouse her too quickly:

http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/2004/03/blown_out_by_bu.html

The thing that's interesting about the four girls is they were staring even though I was not peacocked at all (I was decked out in t shirt, shorts and tennis shoes), which is often a way to quickly attract a girl and pump her buying temperature.

Anyway, thanks for your patience guys as I think out loud. I know this board is often the first stop for guys just starting out, so I won't be too hard on ya, lol.

The only thing that happens anymore is a woman will smile at me when i am looking at her. lately it seems like they look at me, look away and smile.

 

[Super_geek]

maybe some math can help. this could just be one of those "rare events". this could be good news or bad news, depending on weither or not your actually good looking.

okay, so you got lots of EC and approached, and got a real bad reaction, I know youre really tempted to assume that they were looking becuase they liked you,and were just shy, but that might not be they case. things can be counter intuitive: consider a really good analagy:

you go in to get tested for a disease: the probability of comming up POSITIVE if you DO have the disease is 99/100=.99. the probability of it comming up NEGATIVE if you DO have the disease is 1/100=.01 . the probability of it coming up POSITIVE if you DONT have it, is 1/100=.01 and the probability of it comming up NEGATIVE if you DONT have it is 99/100=.99. so as we can see, its pretty accurate.

So you get tested, and it is positive. youre really tempting to conclude that you must actually have the disease with a .99 probability (99% chance), becuase it just doesnt seem like such a result is likely to happen if your clean, becuase the test is really accurate. much like your really tempted to conclude that the women liked you becuase staring like that seems too rare to occur if they didnt like you. well, consider this (back to the disease test)..

the probability of the average person contracting the disease you tested for is 1/1000=.001 . (knowing The probability of a person actually getting the disease is very informative information!) and Ill calculate the probability of you actually having the disease given all this info:

probability of disease given info=.001*.99/(.001*.99+.999*.01)=.09
so theres a .09 probability or a 9% chance you actually have the disease despite the fact that the test came up positive ans is very accurate (and its 99% accurate, most ppl would say theres a 99% chance you actually have the disease, but thats wrong). The reason this is so is becuase the probability of you actually having the disease is so rare, that your far more likely to encounter a rare false positive than a real positive.This is much like your situation, and may help you understand it:

If your actually an ugly person, than this is like a "false positive". youre far more likely to experience a group of girls stare you down for no reason than to experience them staring becuase they actually like you even though its rare that girls will stare for no reason. If your good looking, then they probabily did like you, and were shy. if youre good looking, youre far more likely to experience a group of girls staring at you becuase they like you, and then freezing up in shyness (even though this is a rare event) than to experience a group of girls staring for no reason and not liking you.

 

[Super_geek]

maybe some math can help. this could just be one of those "rare events". this could be good news or bad news, depending on weither or not your actually good looking.

okay, so you got lots of EC and approached, and got a real bad reaction, I know youre really tempted to assume that they were looking becuase they liked you, but that might not be they case. things can be counter intuitive: consider a really good analagy:

you go in to get tested for a disease: the probability of comming up positive if you DO have the disease is 99/100=.99. the probability of it comming up NEGATIVE if you DO have the disease is 1/100=.01 . the probability of it coming up POSITIVE if you DONT have it, is 1/100=.01 and the probability of it comming up NEGATIVE if you DONT have it is 99/100=.99. so as we can see, its pretty accurate.

So you get tested, and it is positive. youre really tempting to conclude that you must actually have the disease, becuase it just doesnt seem like such a result is likely to happen if your clean, becuase the test is really accurate. much like your really tempted to conclude that the women liked you becuase staring like that seems too rare to occur if they didnt like you. well, consider this (back to the disease test)..

the probability of the average person contracting the disease you tested for is 1/1000=.001 . (knowing The probability of a person actually getting the disease is very informative information!) and Ill calculate the probability of you actually having the disease given all this info:

probability of disease given info=.001*.99/(.001*.99+.999*.01)=.09
so theres a .09 probability or a 9% chance you actually have the disease despite the fact that the test came up positive ans is very accurate (and its 99% accurate, most ppl would say theres a 99% chance you actually have the disease, but thats wrong). The reason this is so is becuase the probability of you actually having the disease is so rare, that your far more likely to encounter a rare false positive than a real positive.This is much like your situation, and may help you understand it:

If your actually an ugly person, than this is like a "false positive". youre far more likely to experience a group of girls stare you down for no reason than to experience them staring becuase they actually like you even though its rare girls will stare for no reason. If your good looking, then they probabily did like you, and were shy. if youre good looking, youre far more likely to experience a group of girls staring at you becuase they like you and then freezing up in shyness (even though this is rare) than to experience a group of girls staring for no reason and not liking you.

To know your situation, youll need to know how good looking you really are, so you can know if ts really common, or really rare that girls will like you. so you can know which rare event it has to be the favorable one, or the annoying one.

 

[newhotness]

This has to be the worst example of dipsh1t keyboard jockey bullsh1t ever written. Dude, do you even know what a girl is?

maybe some math can help. this could just be one of those "rare events". this could be good news or bad news, depending on weither or not your actually good looking.

okay, so you got lots of EC and approached, and got a real bad reaction, I know youre really tempted to assume that they were looking becuase they liked you, but that might not be they case. things can be counter intuitive: consider a really good analagy:

you go in to get tested for a disease: the probability of comming up positive if you DO have the disease is 99/100=.99. the probability of it comming up NEGATIVE if you DO have the disease is 1/100=.01 . the probability of it coming up POSITIVE if you DONT have it, is 1/100=.01 and the probability of it comming up NEGATIVE if you DONT have it is 99/100=.99. so as we can see, its pretty accurate.

So you get tested, and it is positive. youre really tempting to conclude that you must actually have the disease, becuase it just doesnt seem like such a result is likely to happen if your clean, becuase the test is really accurate. much like your really tempted to conclude that the women liked you becuase staring like that seems too rare to occur if they didnt like you. well, consider this (back to the disease test)..

the probability of the average person contracting the disease you tested for is 1/1000=.001 . (knowing The probability of a person actually getting the disease is very informative information!) and Ill calculate the probability of you actually having the disease given all this info:

probability of disease given info=.001*.99/(.001*.99+.999*.01)=.09
so theres a .09 probability or a 9% chance you actually have the disease despite the fact that the test came up positive ans is very accurate (and its 99% accurate, most ppl would say theres a 99% chance you actually have the disease, but thats wrong). The reason this is so is becuase the probability of you actually having the disease is so rare, that your far more likely to encounter a rare false positive than a real positive.This is much like your situation, and may help you understand it:

If your actually an ugly person, than this is like a "false positive". youre far more likely to experience a group of girls stare you down for no reason than to experience them staring becuase they actually like you even though its rare girls will stare for no reason. If your good looking, then they probabily did like you, and were shy. if youre good looking, youre far more likely to experience a group of girls staring at you becuase they like you and then freezing up in shyness (even though this is rare) than to experience a group of girls staring for no reason and not liking you.

To know your situation, youll need to know how good looking you really are, so you can know if ts really common, or really rare that girls will like you. so you can know which rare event it has to be the favorable one, or the annoying one.

 

[Super_geek]

its funny how you guys ignore my post when ITS RIGHT AS HELL! logic is objective and does not lie.

its funny how one guy tries to rationalize it as "oh, shes just trying to show off in front of your friends, they do it all the time, blah.." as if this will always be the case when girls stair and then act cold. not true.

but face it, if your actually ugly, then theyre were just staring for some weird reason, not becuase they liked you, and then got shy/wanted to show off. if your good looking then this might be the case. you can all me a KBJ all you want, but it doesnt change the truth which Im pointing out, if your ugly, they were just staring for some weird random reason(Can be mathematically proven easily), if your good looking, then they did like you, and were either shy or trying to show off)

 

[white belt]

Well no I stick by what I said, the woman basically did ignore him here. Yes thinking to much in the situation is not good the end result is you fumble by becoming self concious and even not approaching. What I said was an analysis based on the information he gave me, there is no point analysising when you are doing a approach as I said it will backfire. My advice was sound in my opinion, there were things that he did that decreased the odds of him getting the info, however in saying that I bet that if she did go cold turkey at the prospect of 'hot guy' approaching her then there was no doubt that she was kicking herself afterwards.

As for that article by 'Tyler Durden' (I assume this is the fella that runs real social dynamics) it is pretty interesting, I will have to think about it for a while. The Lets Just be friends tactic can be a deal broker nice link

 

[lurker]

dont let it get to you they are attracted to you. try not looking at them directly and watch if they looking at side of your eyes. then youll know if its attraction or you look wierd. but mostly i think its attraction girls react differently to guys they are attracted too. some would even mistakenly say they got boyfriends in other to feel wanted. but thats if you really are attractive cuss some people are delusional. if you get girls comming close to you to make you chat them up then you are attractive dosnt happen everytime but if it happens many times then you are attractive. heppens to me and my friend all the time,but mostly my friend because he's better looking than me. it like sometimes girls leave him out of conversations. why? its silly. no matter how much he talks they reply with short answers until a brave one faces him then he gets lucky.

 

[skeeloo]

POSt your pic then we'll know if they were attracted.
but to be real most of you guys who think, goodlooking guys get girls thrown themselves at then all the time need to get out more. many guys who look good have been throught this faze were a girl will be too insecure that they dissmiss you.
one thin i realised is that some girls hate...HATE, goodlooking guys as boyfriends.. even some attractive girls. its all down to inssecurity and being the center of attention.
know one thing now. some girls go for guys who give them attention because they cant get another guy. and some girls ruin that by acting like they are the bomb thinking all guys have got to time to play games. this way she'll only get an afc that kissess are arse all day. people arnt has happy as you think they are.

funny thing have happen to me like one time i got approached by a group of girls inviting me for a drink. the one who approached was the hottest of the bunch. when i got to the bar. they signalled eachother like saying oh he actually came. then smilled at eachother then ignored me later on i was singled out in thier discussion and the hb chatted me up when her friends left. its like she acted like i never existed. but all over sudden when i said i got class tommorrow i gotta go back to my dorm she said dont go.

 

[newhotness]

oic, you actually BELIEVE that you can mathemetically prove whether a girl you've never seen is attracted to a guy you've never seen. Dude, do you have any idea how stupid you sound?! I call troll here.

its funny how you guys ignore my post when ITS RIGHT AS HELL! logic is objective and does not lie.

its funny how one guy tries to rationalize it as "oh, shes just trying to show off in front of your friends, they do it all the time, blah.." as if this will always be the case when girls stair and then act cold. not true.

but face it, if your actually ugly, then theyre were just staring for some weird reason, not becuase they liked you, and then got shy/wanted to show off. if your good looking then this might be the case. you can all me a KBJ all you want, but it doesnt change the truth which Im pointing out, if your ugly, they were just staring for some weird random reason(Can be mathematically proven easily), if your good looking, then they did like you, and were either shy or trying to show off)