Master of the Universe
Senior Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 17, 2002
- Messages
- 396
- Reaction score
- 12
Good evening gentlemen,
It's been quite a long time since I have posted to this web site, and it looks like most of the names I recognize have gone, which is to be expected after several years.
Even though I have moved on in my life, and women are no where as important to me as they once were, this place holds a special place in my heart and in my memory. When I came here four and a half years ago, I was as AFC as an AFC can me (I'm not even sure if that acronym is still used, if not it's Average Frustrated Chump - AKA useless when it came to females).
And so I thought it would be appropriate for me to come here with an update, not so much with specific incidences, but rather with my mentality and perception, in the hope that my experiences may be of use to some of you, just like at one time the experiences of others on this board helped shape who I have become.
So let's start from the beginning. First of all, I don't even know if anyone here knows who I am. If not, it's no big deal. I'm just another guy like you are, a young man who stumbled on this web site after realizing how little I knew about women, after being beaten down by cupid once too many times.
It wasn't until I turned 24 years of age that I really thought about women. I mean, don't misunderstand me - I always thought about women, but I never really dated. I figured that in life everyone has their strengths and their weaknesses. My strengths were in other areas of life, and I had accepted that some guys were just good with women, and that I was not nor would I ever be one of these guys.
When I turned 24 years old though, things changed. I fell for a specific young lady. The only problem was that I didn't know my head from my rear end when it came to women, and from past experiences I knew where this road will take me - to "let's just be friends" land. I was tired of failing, and I wasn't going to allow this to happen again.
So did I get this particular girl? Nope! And thank God for that, because I got something much greater, a new world...
Because it was at this breaking point that I made the promise to myself that I would never be in this situation again, that no matter what it took, no matter what price I had to pay, I would have this whole "girl" thing taken care of once and for all.
Now, the interesting thing about learning and knowledge, is that it never is what one perceives it to be. We hope for rewards which will rarely materialize, because we know nothing of what we truly want, or what makes us happy.
Still, I persevered. I took everything from this web site and put EVERYTHING to the test. During the time I was on this web site, I literally approached over 5,000 girls. Trust me, it only takes a small percentage of this number before you become immune to rejection.
I learned all the strategies, tactic, tricks, and tools from all the "gurus" out there, whether they were from this web site or others. And I became damn good at them. In about two years, I became one of the best DJs/PUAs that I had met, and I have met plenty.
Something that everyone on this board should be aware of, the guys who are worshipped on so many web sites as Gods, in most cases are anything but. They have, after tremendous effort, become extremely good at picking up chicks, but that only brought out even more of their insecurities.
A lesson I learned about life and the world, is that it will push and pull at us mercilessly. If we become excellent in one area, then life will always have a way of steering us to another of our weaknesses, and we will linger there until we have overcome the challenge, only to find another challenge waiting for us.
And these challenges never seem to end. And each one seems insurmountable, stronger, more powerful than we are. And yet, if we don't overcome these challenges, will be stuck with them forever.
This is where most pick up gurus find themselves. After a great deal of effort, they may have become very good at picking up women, but in time that becomes their weakness. And I was no exception.
Perhaps you've experienced a taste of it yourself. Once you've gotten over your first challenge of meeting women, you become obsessed with trying to pick up every attractive girl you come across, and if you don't talk to her, you feel guilty afterwards.
Everyone around you thinks you are amazing, and we come here and post our incredible successes, and other guys who are learning this whole game look at us with glazed eyes, hoping that one day they can be worthy of your shadow.
We all know guys like that, they get their highs more so from having other guys worship them than from actually meeting girls.
The ironic thing is that most of those guys who are so great at picking up girls fail miserably when it comes to being in a relationship with someone they have feeling for, and the more they like the girl or gulp... actually love her, the more pain is waiting for them.
And so naturally they come back to what they know best, picking up girls. Once again they are embraced as demigods by other guys who want to be like them, and they regain their self-esteem and their self-worth. Unfortunately, it's an illusion this time around. Others may think they are great, but if they really believe it, it's usually a very good self-lie. Of course having others tell you that you're great makes this self-lie easier to digest.
I say this not to put down anyone, but because I've been there.
But life, with it's ironic sense of humor, never gives us a chance to wallow in our false sense of grandeur for long. It's only a matter of time before it opens it scary, cavernous mouth once more to test us. If we've lived our lives in lies, they will surface and we will fail. And this cycle will continue until the day we pass and overcome, only to face the next challenge waiting for us, or we fail over and over until we fool ourselves into thinking we are masters, always avoiding the battle. Or we simply realize that we have failed and live the remainder of our days in shame.
A poster on this board recently brought up a post of mine about a young lady I fell hard for about two years ago. In that post I stated that when you are in a relationship with someone whom you have feeling for, you will always revert back to AFC status and that your insecurities will be brought up to the surface.
Is this true?
At the time I believed so. That is because this is where I was in my growth and experience of life. Now I say that this is only a half-truth.
Yes, you're insecurities will come to the surface, but that does not mean you will become and AFC.
It means that you will know where you truly stand. And whether or not you pass this particular test, or any test for that matter, is irrelevant. What matters is that you take the blows, all the blows, and you keep persevering. You must feel the pain, feel the fear, feel the insecurities, and continue. Until one day you look around and you realize that you no longer feel the pain or the fear, and those insecurities do not exist. In fact you realize those insecurities were just a point in front of your eyes, that they were never truly "real."
Of course, things are never completely this simple. Because you will face new insecurities. But somehow, you're okay with that. You've become friends with your fears and insecurities. You appreciate them. They are no longer your enemies, but your friends. You accept them, and in turn they become that much easier to overcome. You realize that your fears and insecurities are not something set against you, but that they are in fact your partners on the training ground, helping you to become a more complete person.
And what is a complete person? Beats me... I'm not there yet.
Philosophers have dwelt on that concept for eons. The only philosophy I am interested in is what my experiences have proven to me. With each victory over one of my insecurities, I gain something zen-like: patience. And this patience allows you to take any path that comes your way for you which you have any interest.
And which path you take, or whether or not you take a path, is not predicated by your fears or your self-limitations. And you journey on this path, taking blow after blow, facing more and more of your insecurities. And you are content with the path.
Whether your actions were successful or failed become almost an indifference. Following the path that makes you happy is self-sufficient. And by making you happy I don't mean that it is an easy path. Easy paths rarely bring happiness. A path that makes you happy will often times be filled with obstacles and difficulties, but they are worth it.
It's been quite a long time since I have posted to this web site, and it looks like most of the names I recognize have gone, which is to be expected after several years.
Even though I have moved on in my life, and women are no where as important to me as they once were, this place holds a special place in my heart and in my memory. When I came here four and a half years ago, I was as AFC as an AFC can me (I'm not even sure if that acronym is still used, if not it's Average Frustrated Chump - AKA useless when it came to females).
And so I thought it would be appropriate for me to come here with an update, not so much with specific incidences, but rather with my mentality and perception, in the hope that my experiences may be of use to some of you, just like at one time the experiences of others on this board helped shape who I have become.
So let's start from the beginning. First of all, I don't even know if anyone here knows who I am. If not, it's no big deal. I'm just another guy like you are, a young man who stumbled on this web site after realizing how little I knew about women, after being beaten down by cupid once too many times.
It wasn't until I turned 24 years of age that I really thought about women. I mean, don't misunderstand me - I always thought about women, but I never really dated. I figured that in life everyone has their strengths and their weaknesses. My strengths were in other areas of life, and I had accepted that some guys were just good with women, and that I was not nor would I ever be one of these guys.
When I turned 24 years old though, things changed. I fell for a specific young lady. The only problem was that I didn't know my head from my rear end when it came to women, and from past experiences I knew where this road will take me - to "let's just be friends" land. I was tired of failing, and I wasn't going to allow this to happen again.
So did I get this particular girl? Nope! And thank God for that, because I got something much greater, a new world...
Because it was at this breaking point that I made the promise to myself that I would never be in this situation again, that no matter what it took, no matter what price I had to pay, I would have this whole "girl" thing taken care of once and for all.
Now, the interesting thing about learning and knowledge, is that it never is what one perceives it to be. We hope for rewards which will rarely materialize, because we know nothing of what we truly want, or what makes us happy.
Still, I persevered. I took everything from this web site and put EVERYTHING to the test. During the time I was on this web site, I literally approached over 5,000 girls. Trust me, it only takes a small percentage of this number before you become immune to rejection.
I learned all the strategies, tactic, tricks, and tools from all the "gurus" out there, whether they were from this web site or others. And I became damn good at them. In about two years, I became one of the best DJs/PUAs that I had met, and I have met plenty.
Something that everyone on this board should be aware of, the guys who are worshipped on so many web sites as Gods, in most cases are anything but. They have, after tremendous effort, become extremely good at picking up chicks, but that only brought out even more of their insecurities.
A lesson I learned about life and the world, is that it will push and pull at us mercilessly. If we become excellent in one area, then life will always have a way of steering us to another of our weaknesses, and we will linger there until we have overcome the challenge, only to find another challenge waiting for us.
And these challenges never seem to end. And each one seems insurmountable, stronger, more powerful than we are. And yet, if we don't overcome these challenges, will be stuck with them forever.
This is where most pick up gurus find themselves. After a great deal of effort, they may have become very good at picking up women, but in time that becomes their weakness. And I was no exception.
Perhaps you've experienced a taste of it yourself. Once you've gotten over your first challenge of meeting women, you become obsessed with trying to pick up every attractive girl you come across, and if you don't talk to her, you feel guilty afterwards.
Everyone around you thinks you are amazing, and we come here and post our incredible successes, and other guys who are learning this whole game look at us with glazed eyes, hoping that one day they can be worthy of your shadow.
We all know guys like that, they get their highs more so from having other guys worship them than from actually meeting girls.
The ironic thing is that most of those guys who are so great at picking up girls fail miserably when it comes to being in a relationship with someone they have feeling for, and the more they like the girl or gulp... actually love her, the more pain is waiting for them.
And so naturally they come back to what they know best, picking up girls. Once again they are embraced as demigods by other guys who want to be like them, and they regain their self-esteem and their self-worth. Unfortunately, it's an illusion this time around. Others may think they are great, but if they really believe it, it's usually a very good self-lie. Of course having others tell you that you're great makes this self-lie easier to digest.
I say this not to put down anyone, but because I've been there.
But life, with it's ironic sense of humor, never gives us a chance to wallow in our false sense of grandeur for long. It's only a matter of time before it opens it scary, cavernous mouth once more to test us. If we've lived our lives in lies, they will surface and we will fail. And this cycle will continue until the day we pass and overcome, only to face the next challenge waiting for us, or we fail over and over until we fool ourselves into thinking we are masters, always avoiding the battle. Or we simply realize that we have failed and live the remainder of our days in shame.
A poster on this board recently brought up a post of mine about a young lady I fell hard for about two years ago. In that post I stated that when you are in a relationship with someone whom you have feeling for, you will always revert back to AFC status and that your insecurities will be brought up to the surface.
Is this true?
At the time I believed so. That is because this is where I was in my growth and experience of life. Now I say that this is only a half-truth.
Yes, you're insecurities will come to the surface, but that does not mean you will become and AFC.
It means that you will know where you truly stand. And whether or not you pass this particular test, or any test for that matter, is irrelevant. What matters is that you take the blows, all the blows, and you keep persevering. You must feel the pain, feel the fear, feel the insecurities, and continue. Until one day you look around and you realize that you no longer feel the pain or the fear, and those insecurities do not exist. In fact you realize those insecurities were just a point in front of your eyes, that they were never truly "real."
Of course, things are never completely this simple. Because you will face new insecurities. But somehow, you're okay with that. You've become friends with your fears and insecurities. You appreciate them. They are no longer your enemies, but your friends. You accept them, and in turn they become that much easier to overcome. You realize that your fears and insecurities are not something set against you, but that they are in fact your partners on the training ground, helping you to become a more complete person.
And what is a complete person? Beats me... I'm not there yet.
Philosophers have dwelt on that concept for eons. The only philosophy I am interested in is what my experiences have proven to me. With each victory over one of my insecurities, I gain something zen-like: patience. And this patience allows you to take any path that comes your way for you which you have any interest.
And which path you take, or whether or not you take a path, is not predicated by your fears or your self-limitations. And you journey on this path, taking blow after blow, facing more and more of your insecurities. And you are content with the path.
Whether your actions were successful or failed become almost an indifference. Following the path that makes you happy is self-sufficient. And by making you happy I don't mean that it is an easy path. Easy paths rarely bring happiness. A path that makes you happy will often times be filled with obstacles and difficulties, but they are worth it.
