found the reason behind my sh1tty persona

[C00lAF]

So about a week ago I made a thread on how i intimidate plates and all that,and came a cross a book called"no more Mr nice guy". I'm not a nice guy myself (doing favors and disrespect etc its not me). Out of curiosity, I read the book. It actually talks about the nice guy as a mentality. I recommend you guys check it out.

Anyway, his book gave me the initial level 3 self awareness as I have never been this self aware before. My problem was/is I try to appear tough with people in general so i they don't harm/diss/take advantage of me and gain respect mainly due to childhood issues as I have been raised with fear (thanks dad). My core problem was thinking that making people fear you was the way to go and unfortunately, I did a damn good job. With plates i demonstrated this by the way I talk and make them feel.

Today I decided to try something new. I don't want to be Mr tough guy anymore and I don't want to prove sh1t to anyone and TG will be reserved until someone actually fvcks with me. The weird thing is that I felt something good inside like I'm free or some sh1t. My interactions with people was so smooth, care free, enjoyable, relaxed and I was able to think.

The second decision I took was to delete every song related to violence in my playlist as I think about beating people and stuff when I listen to them(thanks again dad). Also my facial expressions are way friendlier now.

Now game related, I feel a bit strange/fake cause this whole new mindset is new to me and at the moment, I'm having trouble with talking to women again regarding subjects because all I did before was neg the living fvck out of them and something would spark to talk about. I guess I have to adapt to this new mindset. Any insights?

 

[CuddleJunkie]

Self-improvement, self-realization, or the path of enlightenment if you like this kind of talk, is pendulum-like. You maybe were a sweet kid that got a hard upbringing, so you got though, now you are going to be nicer to people. You are feeling better, you are feeling freer, you are going to learn this share of your lesson. And then something will happen, and you will have to readjust your personality, or way of navigating this world. It will probably be a turn to your tougher side, but more subtle this time, as you will integrate your past "nicer" ways. It is all about becoming more skillful.

Here in SoSuave, we like women and seducing them, so let's talk about how this pendulum applies to the "player path":
-The nice guy. Has no idea about women, would never ever in his fvcking life cold-approach a woman, maybe not even warm approach her!. He only gets the scraps after some alpha dumps and hurts a girl so badly that all she wants is to manipulate some chump.
-Our friend gets dumped, his heart broken, his dreams shattered, his world-view is just gone. He comes here, learns some tenets that are designed to protect our hearts and souls, and takes them too seriously. He's now an ******* that hates women. He posts tons of messages talking bout b!tches and how their sh't. After some time, his heart is healthier, and starts warm approaching. He will sometimes outright insult the girls thinking his "teasing". Anyhow, when he has a good day, will successfully tease her, and get a bang or two.
-He might get attached and lost in oneitis, if this happens, he will return years later saying "**** guys, I need your help more than ever, I made this again". He's back to stage one. Hopefully he will have learned the lesson the first time around and this won't happen. If this is the case, he will get some nice new experiences with his new girls, he will even feel bad for some miscalibration that hurt one of them. He will say "damm, I like pvss and new plates, but I want them to be happy too, maybe I should be more compassionate". This is where you apparently are. He will start loving women instead of hating them, and so his approaches will be way funnier, hooking more girls. He will be happier than before, he will exude vitality, and hopefully he will start applying the lessons learned in the others areas of life (friends, family, wealth, health, whatever). And his new plates? They will love him, not just be attracted, but actually loving this happy, outgoing, full of life, guy.
-This is the last step, one that will repeat itself, in a labor of finer and subtler adjustment. He will get some new bad experiences, and because of this he will become better at his skills, he will become more careful at screening. He will get new ups, and new downs, but he now understands this is a process, a path to walk, and that mistakes are just opportunities to learn.

Congratulations man, you have already experienced the "tough" side, you are now experiencing the happier and compassionate side. Don't get sad, or mad at yourself when the inevitable crash comes, you will get through it again, becoming stronger and more complex.

 

[narcissist]

Interesting post. It is really good of you that you are making an effort to be more self aware. People do not realize how much of "themselves" are really not them, in any essential sense, but rather environments that shaped them. Although I suppose you could make the argument that that is what the self is. Okay, I should stop myself before I delve into any philosophical tangent. I could be here for hours. I just wanted to say: Keep being self aware. Keep looking within yourself to determine why you do certain things. Keep asking yourself whether your thoughts and ideas are really your thoughts and ideas. Carl Jung once said: People don't have ideas... Ideas have people. And I think this is true for thoughts, and emotions, and motivations and goals. These particular psychological phenomena have control over you. Not the other way around. So figure out what has control of you and what is moving you, and see if that is really what you want. I do however think that you can develop somewhat of a control over these psychological elements, if you remain self aware and self conscious and listen to what heavily influences you.

So keep at it!

In regards to your comment about not listening to violent music. Here are some uplifting, and care free artists you might want to check out. They are also incredible musicians. I know, for myself, when I listen to metal bands (which I love) like cynic, architects, periphery, volumes etc, these bands can change my mood in the negative/violent/mad direction. So, I try to balance it out. Check these bands out. Im not sure if this sh1t will be your cup of tea. I know music is for the most part subjective taste, but no harm in trying out some new music. I know when I listen to these bands I feel happy as fvck!

Tame Impala
Real estate
FOALS
American football
Miles Davis
John Mayer
Sufjan Stevens
Neutral Milk Hotel

 

[fastlife]

@C00lAF

Props on the introspection. I've reached some similar realizations about myself, from a similar paradigm of maladjusted behavior. Highly recommend NMMNG.

Just know that there will be growing pains. You WILL hit points where it feels like you've fvcked up and were better off with your old ego protections. Plates will break. But keep pushing--focus on what feels good to you instead of what gets you predictable results. Growth is uncomfortable; and it's easy to settle for the results you know--but you'll also hit new highs that wouldn't have been possible before.

Definitely recommend finding a daily meditation routine. Your ego will always find ways to reassert itself and it old set of habits and defenses. I've been on this path for 12 months and I'll still find myself rationalizing ways to slip into my old set of behaviors (even after I've seen super awesome results doing things another way).

 

[C00lAF]

The funny yet sad part is that i have came to this realization by talking to women(and screwing up alot,recently with an 8) who ever thought that women or game in general would show men their flaws and expose it to them,the awesome part about this is that i can actually apply this knoledge in every aspect of my life.i belive that at this point im reaching the "dont give a fvck" but the positive side of the spectrum not the douchbag side.i can alredy see results,today i got a new plate,even those who rejected me rejected me in a positive manner and it was weirdly joyful.i wonder where would i reach now.

 

[C00lAF]

And when I have said on here that "women are a reflection of ourselves", and that "I have gained far more self-improvement in this game than in education or martial-arts", I was mocked.

Keep focusing on yourself. You are doing something right. You have a perception that other idiots can't appreciate.

This game is far more valuable than just banging/LTR'ing broads.

The thing is sosuave gives me the ability to speak my mind freely,i cant do it in irl with people i know(im annoymus),hell nah,the other point is getting advice for a path-like (red pill) people would benefit me and give me actual feedback and multi point of views that i wouldnt get from the blue pill ocean of people around me cause they are "softwared" badly (talking to girl is a bad thing,get a job then get married and all that).i agree with you this game is more valuble than banging,cause lessons dont finish after i cvm,lust does.