found the DJ way... getting laid by many HBs not doing the trick?

[exAFC4me]

ok so i started looking at this site a little less than a year ago in order to woo a girl i knew. I asked for advice here, I did the right things, and i bagged her, but i soon reverted back to AFC ways because I was only going through the motions, and not really living the DJ way. Needless to say, a few months later she was gone, and I was heartbroken. Since March, however, my ability to get girls has skyrocketed (and I stopped coming to these boards). I've slept with more girls in the last few months than in the rest of my life put together. Spring break in Miami, I slept with a 7 and an 8, around graduation from college in may, i did 2 senior girls from my class who wouldn't have touched me freshman year. At a wedding in europe this summer, I slept with a bridesmaid from finland, and met a girl from the US who lives about 4.5 hours drive away from me. I visited her a few weeks ago, and we had a great time. She's easily an 8, but when she's out at night, she's the center of attention, and the object of every guy's desire wherever we were. I enjoyed all aspects of her, but she's just not on my intellectual level (she's a cosmotologist and never went to college), so it's difficult to connect at the level i need to fall for a girl.

This past Friday, I went back to my college for a day on business and ended up making out with another girl I had a thing for at her date party, but I slept with a sorority girl who's a 6, and happens to be best friends with the first girl i mentioned in this post (that's prolly why i dropped my standards). Then the girl i met in europe came to visit me on saturday night, and we basically got it on in between activities until yesterday evening, when she left.

The thing is this.... I feel emotionally devoid. I would never have dreamed of doing **** like this a year ago. Why did I sleep with that girl on Friday just to have some level of retribution against the only girl I mentioned that I truly had feelings for? Why did I just go on with my weekend with another woman and not feel horrible for sleeping with someone the night before? Even though I'm not sure she's LTR material, she's such a nice girl, and obviously I would never tell her, but it pains me to know that this is the kind of **** that makes women not trust men.

So what the hell is with me?? ? The only clue I have is that I did see the original girl I was obsessed with for a few minutes on campus last week for the first time in several months, and I was AFC all over again. Stumbling, turning red, smitten with love. I only slept with this girl 3 times, but I spent months and days thinking about her and deciphering her inconsistent actions and what I was doing wrong, going in and out of friendship into hooking up and back to friendship and now to mere acquaintance.

Am I so quick to play all these women and not feel for them because I'm still in love with this girl? Or am I over this girl. and this is just the new me, and I should get used to it and enjoy the fact that I can get laid at will?

HELP!!!!!

 

[SMOOCHY]

welcome to being a player, you are not a DJ...yet but you have great potential t to do so. I went through the exact same transition that you are now experiencing. If you truly have feelings for this girl then tell her if you haven't already. But, you must make a choice, to be a one woman man or to be a player. If you decide to play, then you most likely will progress to becoming a true DJ. This is due to your already conceived raw talent of the art of wooing. There's nothing wrong with wanting to sleep with every "do-able" woman on the planet, it's called being male. But congrads. on your new found ability to bring them in, it's really great, and believe me, you're just on the tip of the ice berg.

As they say be careful for what you wish for

 

[squirrels]

Try dissociating erotic love (i.e. sex and sexuality) from other kinds of love. Just because you're having sex with these girls doesn't mean you HAVE to love them.

Granted, when you find a girl you can love as a sex partner, friend, AND familially, then you'll have something much more fulfilling. But work on the erotic side of it first. And don't expect every girl you attract to be "the one."

Stop building your "ideal life" and then trying to fit other people into the slots you made for them in it. You can't control people. What you CAN control is yourself.

Also, stop laying women to feel good about yourself or to "prove a point" in your mind or otherwise to yourself, your friends, your ex-girls, or even this chickensh!t forum. Stop trying to define your success in terms of how other people look at your life. Are you HAPPY? Do you feel that YOU are growing and becoming better for having done all this?

Lay women because you're horny and enjoy being physically intimate with women. If you're doing it for any other reason, it WILL feel empty. You WILL feel devoid of satisfaction because you're not doing it for YOURSELF. You're not doing it to satisfy YOUR desires, you're not doing it to learn and improve YOURSELF, and you're not doing it because YOU want to experience things in life. You're doing it because of what other people expect. And that's enough to bring ANYONE down.

Invest your time and energy in what YOU want and YOU believe in and what YOU want to experience and let those things pay you emotional dividends. Don't just sleep with women because you CAN. Sleep with women because yuo WANT TO.

 

[exAFC4me]

Smoochy- I completely agree with you that I am no DJ, but I am finding myself to be a bit of a player. I do realize that I will not reach full potential for another few years as I better myself and learn more through experience. This current girl is no LTR.

I wonder though, if there is a way of having girls be ok with your lifestyle as a guy who's just looking to have a good time, and not have them think that you're a player *******?


squirrels-- im not proving anything to my friends, or this forum... i hardly ever come here anymore, i think i learned what i needed to from it. but im at a different stage so im seeing if different rules apply now. as for proving something to myself and my exgirls, well, you may have a point. but i think i am growing out of that... plus hell, im a horny 22 year old in his sexual prime who's just become desirable, i can think of no better way to exploit that than gaining experience and having fun with girls.

im still sorta doing it however, just because i can, and i need to find a way to get past that, because I do also enjoy it. I think maybe i think too much about what the girl will think afterwards when she realizes it was just sex

 

[squirrels]

Originally posted by exAFC4me
I think maybe i think too much about what the girl will think afterwards when she realizes it was just sex

Let her worry about her feelings. Seriously...respect a woman's right to say "no", but if she makes a conscious decision to say "yes", then respect that as well.

 

[MrCode]

squirrels speaks the truth. Listen to him.

I wonder though, if there is a way of having girls be ok with your lifestyle as a guy who's just looking to have a good time, and not have them think that you're a player *******?

How about this:

You: I don't think you are going to like what I have to say.
Her: Oh I'm sure it will be fine.
You: You can't handle it.
Her: Come on, yes I can!
You: OK, here is the deal: 1. I am not going to marry you. 2. We aren't even going to date. 3. If we get together, it will be purely physical. 4. If you can't deal with that, I'm leaving right now.
Her: Fvck me now!

OK, she may not reply in exactly that way, but I think you would be surprised how flexible girls are, and how they will respond to honesty. Most guys think like you, that they need to fake things and not let girls know they just want sex. But in many cases girls just want sex too, so you may be giving her exactly what she wants!

Never assume.

 

[Recluce]

How about this:

You: I don't think you are going to like what I have to say.
Her: Oh I'm sure it will be fine.
You: You can't handle it.
Her: Come on, yes I can!
You: OK, here is the deal: 1. I am not going to marry you. 2. We aren't even going to date. 3. If we get together, it will be purely physical. 4. If you can't deal with that, I'm leaving right now.
Her: Fvck me now!

OK, she may not reply in exactly that way, but I think you would be surprised how flexible girls are, and how they will respond to honesty. Most guys think like you, that they need to fake things and not let girls know they just want sex. But in many cases girls just want sex too, so you may be giving her exactly what she wants!

Never assume. [/B]

does this really work?

 

[Player_Supreme]

1. you sound all feminine like a girl.

2. don't hate the player hate the game.

3. It's ok to be a player when your young. When your ready you will grow out of it.

4. A Don Juan to me is nothing more than a player with an attitude. I call a spade a spade, not a earth moving convienience. I call Target stores Target not tarszchay.

5. Congrads, your one of the few who actually applied what they learned here and made a better life for yourself. But your showing that if your an AFC it's what you will resort too when push comes to shove. It's your true nature until you change inside. So why not just be an AFC who knows how to get ladies and be happy with it.

 

[MrCode]

Originally posted by Recluce
does this really work?

Try it and see, given that is what you want.

Right now I want more than something physical, so I haven't done this. But I have it on good authority that it does work, but you really need to mean it and say it with conviction.