Found out that too much ****y and funny is bad?.. at least from what happened to me..

[DJDamage]

The thing is.. I have this phobia, im afraid that If I reveal, one fvcking bit about myself, she would be uninterested and bam, mystery is gone. GAME OVER

You are already doing that by too much talking and not enough action.

chick: I like you? I never said I liked you. Yeah, I like you as a friend..

She got you good, you got owned by a simple sh1t test she throw at your direction and failed it. The cold hard truth of it all is that your suave persona is build on bvllsh1t, and you know it. The reason women throw sh1t tests like that so they can sniff out the fakers from the real ones and see what kind of a man is left standing in front of them. Being a suave is more then just being a comedian and faking confidence but actually feeling confident and knowing you are confident. You still have ways to go to reach that level grasshopper.

 

[verysuave]

You are already doing that by too much talking and not enough action.



She got you good, you got owned by a simple sh1t test she throw at your direction and failed it. The cold hard truth of it all is that your suave persona is build on bvllsh1t, and you know it. The reason women throw sh1t tests like that so they can sniff out the fakers from the real ones and see what kind of a man is left standing in front of them. Being a suave is more then just being a comedian and faking confidence but actually feeling confident and knowing you are confident. You still have ways to go to reach that level grasshopper.

"FEELING CONFIDENT and KNOWING THAT YOU ARE CONFIDENT"

Can you give me SPECIFIC examples of what I could have done? like maybe, asked her to have sex?

 

[verysuave]

And by the way, thank you for the honest replies. Specially Jariel, EndofTime, DJdamage and fransico. Thank you, seriously. That helped. I got negged there.

 

[verysuave]

You are already doing that by too much talking and not enough action./QUOTE]

Action? I have spent 2 hours with her already. Thats 2 lunches. We started talking like 1 1/2 months ago. The first 1 week, I asked her out to the movie. I never got a reply but, we would call each other on the phone and see each other at work.

Week 2, On Monday, I asked her out again to go watch a movie on saturday night and that I needed an answer by wednesday. I didnt get an answer from her until saturday arrived. She calls me and asked me if I was going to take her to the movies. I said "no, sorry can't do that, I already have other plans"

So, for the next 3 weeks, I stopped asking her out. But going out to lunches seemed okay with her... so I took it from there. And so,now, I think it's time to get to the point.

Ask her, if she wants to hang out again... (she doesnt drive by the way and still in HS and she is not a virgin)

So say it like "lets hang out" instead of "lets go see a movie"? please help..

 

[Vypros]

You are friendzoned.

 

[Vypros]

The reason women throw sh1t tests like that so they can sniff out the fakers from the real ones and see what kind of a man is left standing in front of them. Being a suave is more then just being a comedian and faking confidence but actually feeling confident and knowing you are confident. You still have ways to go to reach that level grasshopper.

I really, really liked the way you put that.

Excellent post.

 

[verysuave]

I really, really liked the way you put that.

Excellent post.

you guys still aren't telling me what specifically to do. Why can't you? WHAT IS THIS TRUE CONFIDENCE?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

call her and be like "you've been a b1tch too me lately and so I'm gona fvck you this weekend" ?

 

[Vypros]

you guys still aren't telling me what specifically to do. Why can't you? WHAT IS THIS TRUE CONFIDENCE

call her and be like "you've been a b1tch too me lately and so I'm gona fvck you this weekend" ?

No, no, no, no no.

True Confidence takes time to build within yourself. True confidence does not employ tactics like "oh she did THIS to me, so now I'm going to do THAT to her".

True confidence says this "I know what I want, and I know what I like. If a woman does not fit my pattern of WANT or does something I DON'T like, then I'm going to call her on it. If she continues to do things I don't like, I'm going to rid myself of her in as polite a way as possible."

It's about having a backbone. It's about seeing the things you want and going after those things, and not beating around the bush or sitting around second guessing it. You see it, you want it, you go for it. If you get rejected, you brush yourself off, get back up, and move on.

That, my friend, takes a LONG time to get to a place like that. So I suggest you start right now. IMMEDIATELY.

How? You ask.

Well, you take baby steps,

1. DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT. This is the first and foremost (and the easiest, I might add) thing you have to do. If you don't know what you want out of LIFE (not just women, but LIFE) how can you EVER be happy? Decide now. Get out a sheet of paper and start listing the things you want out of life. For example, what do you want to do for a living? Where do you want to live? What type of girl do you want in your life? ANYTHING and everything you can think of, put on that list.

2. PRIORITIZE HOW YOU ARE GOING TO GET WHAT YOU WANT. Take the same list, look it over, and start putting it in order of when you want to accomplish it. I would suggest you work out your career, finances, inner happiness, BEFORE you work out what type of girl you want. You want to create your own personal world and BRING a woman into that world.

3. TAKE ACTION! Now that you have a list, attack each thing you have on that last one by one. Take the first thing on your list, and make a new sheet. List the things you have to do in order to accomplish that list. Once you get those things down, prioritize THAT list, and then set a deadline and a goal by which you are going to do those things. Do this with everything on your list, and keep an ultimate deadline in mind. My suggestion is a five year plan to accomplish everything on your list.

***

That being said, this doesn't mean that you can't have some fun and hang out with girls and stuff while you are pursuing your goals. It just means that you should not let yourself get SERIOUS about a girl until you've accomplished most of your list.

Make sure you leave room for recreational types of things. Get involved in ACTIVE recreational things like swimming, biking, hiking, skiing, sports, weightlifting, etc. Whatever you think you would LIKE to do most. Set goals within those active recreational things and work towards accomplishing those.

In short, it's about making a big list, and then breaking down that list into smaller and smaller parts until you get a step by step plan of acheivable parts that lead you to the bigger thing above them, which will then lead to your ultimate goal.

***

Other ways to affect confidence involves ridding yourself of two hindering elements: FEAR AND SHAME. There are several ways to do this, but I want to point you to a book you can read about shame: "Healing the Shame that Binds you" by John Bradshaw.

Face these things, embrace them, and get them out of you. Watch how you carry yourself. Get in a habit of walking upright, head up, and looking people in the eye. Start talking to EVERYBODY you meet, and not just women. Approach EVERYONE, and you will just become a naturally social person, and not someone who is out to pick up chicks all the time.

Pick up motivational tapes, books, whatever it takes. You need words of encouragement to keep you on track, because you are GOING TO FAIL. Failure is inevitable. It's what you DO with that failure that determines if you are going to be a success. If you get knocked down, get back up and keep moving forward!

 

[verysuave]

Man, why can't you guys get straight to the point as to how the conversation should have went. Either way, words will always be exchanged.

You people here like to throw in crap like "oh, you should read this efing book" this that this and that.

1. I've already lost weight, ive accomplished that goal. Been hitting the gym, etc etc
2. working to become rich
2a. Yes I am already motivitated enough, ive been talking to women. I have women friends and women who want to hang out with me.

and then

3. getting women laid (work in progress). THERES THIS FINE LINE THAT I NEED TO CROSS and thats it. I see it infront of me! All I need is to know is that BIT of knowledge as to how to cross it.

AND THAT IS WHY IM ASKING STRAIGHT UP QUESTIONS HERE ABOUT WHAT I SHOULD DO SPECIFICALLY AND SAY

A. Some people here could never give out SPECIFIC EXAMPLES. You dilute your answers by giving responses like the one above.

B. Some people here troll

And like some people here say, Yeah, I have enough game but then I lack confidence..?

I really think I gamed this chick enough. I even told her, why she didn't go for the other guy who liked her. I told her during that conversation I had with her "yeah, go ahead, date him now. I don't care" Thats not confidence?

 

[Vypros]

Do you really want to be spoon fed the exact verbage of what you should have said?

do you want to know what the problem with that is? It's DIFFERENT for every girl. DUH!

That's why I focused on things you should DO to get COMFORTABLE in these situations, and not given you exact verbage. Because you could say one thing to one girl and be a complete success and then say the exact same thing to another girl and flop miserably!

 

[verysuave]

we all know that there comes a point where everything narrows down to that one CONVERSATION between you and this girl as to how to take it to the next level(or sex) that is 99% THE SAME for 99% of women.


I really think I gamed this chick enough. I even told her, why she didn't go for the other guy who liked her at work who lost to me. I told her during that conversation I had with her "yeah, go ahead, you can date him now. I don't care" Thats not confidence?

So, if you reply to this to give me advice I want you to shove the spoon up my @ss if you have to

 

[limerick]

One of the things you have to learn while you're in the community is how to take constructive criticism and try to figure out things on your own. Otherwise once your city/state/country is oversarged and all the girls know all the canned lines you've learned you're going to be back at square one. You need to be spontaneous and know how to adapt, but so far you don't seem to be capable of that.

If we tell you exactly what to say then you will form a habit of asking us what to say all the time. We recomment books for you to read so you can be enlightened and achieve more success. You obviously don't seem to understand the material very well and you're getting the whole "I'm good enough. meh" syndrone; theres always room for improvement.

You come off as incongruent because you couldn't handle that **** test. You could have shown a willingness to walk away by saying something like "I have enough friends, goodbye" or some other stuff.

Things you need to consider before you can ascend to the next level of pickup:
1) learn to be more patient and not overreact(like u did on this thread)
2) become more spontaneous and learn to adapt
3) learn how to be more independant and encourage others to be independant

 

[limerick]

we all know that there comes a point where everything narrows down to that one CONVERSATION between you and this girl as to how to take it to the next level(or sex) that is 99% THE SAME for 99% of women.


I really think I gamed this chick enough. I even told her, why she didn't go for the other guy who liked her at work who lost to me. I told her during that conversation I had with her "yeah, go ahead, you can date him now. I don't care" Thats not confidence?

So, if you reply to this to give me advice I want you to shove the spoon up my @ss if you have to

lol ONE sentence defines confidence? You seem very oblivious. If all you want is results and not self improvement you need a hooker or Hitch. now gtfo my sosuave internet.

 

[Vypros]

You remind me of that kid in class who needs the teacher to give him every last detail or else he gets angry with the teacher for not telling him. When you don't realize that the teacher purposely leaves out details sometimes so that you'll learn to figure stuff out on your own. That's a strong quality that EVERYBODY needs to learn, and I suggest you learn it.

However, I'll spoonfeed you (sort of):

---couple lines of convo earlier during lunch at carl's jr:---

Me: so, did you do your homework on me? what did you learn?
chick: -laughs-
me: cause I will be testing you a little later etc etc.

This doesn't seem too bad (although having the context of these snippets WOULD work WONDERS.

about 15 minutes later.. i thought i'd bust another C+F
me: I heard you built an altar of me with candles around it. -grins-
*I recited the "our father" prayer to her but replaced the "father" with my name.

so, it recited it like this to her as if she was the one praying:
"Our verysuave, hollow be thy name,thy kingdom come, thy will rock my world on my world as it is in yours, etc etc"...

chick: -laughs-

This to me seemed kind of lame, but again, context is everything. If the girl was into you she might have dug this, but to the outside viewer it seems incredibly lame.

chick: so, we never got to know each other, you are always goofing around, we never got to know each other or anything.

me: what are you talking about? etc etc etc

You missed the boat. This was a test. Here is the point at which you overdid it. You have to balnace the "fun" with a little serious. I would have retorted with something along of the lines of "Well, let's change that! Meet me at x place at x time, and you can have your own pesonal one on one interview with the legend."

OR

You coul've said "Oh really? Well, then, I'm all ears. Tell me about YOU."

The point the SHE brought up was that you don't know when to be SERIOUS. Strike ONE. Learn to be serious once in a while.

-later on-

chick: so, my friend told me that you like this other girl or something?
me: she likes me, I didn't like her. Hey!, other girls like me in the store, but I have no control over that
me: (I try to use the jealousy method)theres this other girl who likes me in the store, the cute mexican chick who has a nice body, you know who i'm talking about?
chick: yeah i know her!
me: yeah, she creeps me out by the way she looks at me all the time.
chick: yeah she creeps me out too. She probably likes you

Strike 2. She made a small little comment about another girl liking you, and you GAVE AWAY THE DAMNED FARM! When she said she heard another girl liked you you should've said "Hey, wanna go play some basketball?" or something equally ridiculous. You tried way too hard to prove to her that other girls liked you, rather than just acting like hearing something like that is as common as eating.

-later on-

chick: I like you? I never said I liked you. Yeah, I like you as a friend..
chick: why, do you like me?
me: ( I continue to shove food into my mouth to the point where its full like in the twix commercial)

IMMATURE (not ****y or funny) Strike 3. When she said "Why do you like me?" you should have went with something like "Why, SHOULD I like you?" or "Of course I like you! I see you as the little sister I never had!" lol That line gets them all the time.

Shoving food in your mouth to avoid the question was just chump behaviour man, even though you were trying to be funny.

me: ( i was busting her ass at this point) yeah, sure, do you know what time zone your calls fall into PAST 11pm?? Thats like the booty call timezone
chick: OMG! yeah, whatever, bla bla bal bla

By this point she was done with you, you failed all her tests and proved to her that you had nothing going for you other than some immature behaviour.

You have to learn when to be SERIOUS. It can't all be ****y and funny. You have to convey to her that you LIKE her! You have to have the balls to stand up to that test!

As it was, you failed horribly.

Which is why I suggested the things I suggested. Now, go back and re-read my advice, and FIX YOURSELF!

[/QUOTE]

 

[verysuave]

thats more like it. I rest this thread.

 

[verysuave]

I think I need to throw boomerang questions like that at her or to any chick if I ever cross that situation again. That seems quite effective. Thanks for that