Forum I need your help again

[Desdinova]

hey nice that your going to the sun. I’m also booking a long vacation away to the sun hahaha.

That didn't give her an emotional anything. She won't care that you're going on a vacation. Then you bugged her to meet up again.

When you truly embrace the "I don't give a fvck" attitude, you won't care if you meet up with her nor will you care if you piss her off. You could have said "My ex contacted me and she's begging for me to come back. Never expected that." Then this bytch suddenly has competition (even if you made it up) and might try to compete.

Honestly, I would write this chick off and start fresh with a new one. This one isn't all that excited by you.

 

[TheGambino]

That didn't give her an emotional anything. She won't care that you're going on a vacation. Then you bugged her to meet up again.

When you truly embrace the "I don't give a fvck" attitude, you won't care if you meet up with her nor will you care if you piss her off. You could have said "My ex contacted me and she's begging for me to come back. Never expected that." Then this bytch suddenly has competition (even if you made it up) and might try to compete.

Honestly, I would write this chick off and start fresh with a new one. This one isn't all that excited by you.

I think you are right, sadly. She is when we’re together but I think her parents convincing her that I’m no good for her and she agrees imo. @Desdinova so yeah that’s what my gut says

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

It's easier to just start over with a new girl than trying to recover something with an existing one...sunk cost fallacy.

I don't have an answer for you besides "stop trying". Let it go in your head and assume it won't work out and truly assume that. Only then will you act right. When you try to "save" a relationship you end up making even more mistakes. If she comes around again, just stop with all the games. Playing games in an LTR is absolutely pointless. All you need to do is lead and hold frame.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I think you are right, sadly. She is when we’re together but I think her parents convincing her that I’m no good for her and she agrees imo. @Desdinova so yeah that’s what my gut says

Do you know what happens when parents try to convince women not to date a guy?

They push her towards the guy even more because then it becomes rebelling against their control.

Sadly, I think she just isn't actually that into you despite what she may do while she is with you.

 

[TheGambino]

Do you know what happens when parents try to convince women not to date a guy?

They push her towards the guy even more because then it becomes rebelling against their control.

Sadly, I think she just isn't actually that into you despite what she may do while she is with you.

bro that is too weird when she jumps on my back, beggs me to stay, wants to cuddle I never can leave. I dropp her off Monday she pushes me too her room sits on me I try to leave I can’t. She kisses me , huggs me then when I get a bit rough to leave she finally lets me go and walks me out hugging and kissing like a little girl. Then out in the bar I want to leave after dancing with her and talking to her friends to introduces me to all of them I say 19 times i have to go to my friends. Just one drink 5 minutes then follows me and beggs me to stay again. I leave then she texts me where you at. Bro that’s high interest. Also the cex is 11/10. We don’t even sleep we have cex basically all night always. I make her cvm and she says no one does that barely maybe once in her life. So what do you think about that? Then after I go and she is with her family and sister after a night like that she turns a bit cold on text.

Also she had a shock moment hyperventilating after cex and after asking her 10 times what’s wrong she says “I’m not sure that’s it’s a good idea that I am here with you”

also she says that she doesn’t believe that I care for her so much when we were talking about our break. Also she almost cried and when I drop her off in the car Monday she says let’s go to the city have drinks or go picknicking. I had to go so I said no.


@BackInTheGame78

 

[TheGambino]

Do you know what happens when parents try to convince women not to date a guy?

They push her towards the guy even more because then it becomes rebelling against their control.

Sadly, I think she just isn't actually that into you despite what she may do while she is with you.

I don’t think so, she loves her parents and has a great relationship with them and values them she’s 27 not 17. I don’t agree I think she really doubts me because of all what happened and that I ask her out on valentines day makes it complicated because she likes me but also thinks we’re not compatible for long term.

I can’t be sure but her actions indicate that also my gut says it

 

[Glassguy]

Completely blow her off from now on and see how she reacts.
No initiating texts/calls
Give her one word answers hours later
Or leave her on read.

She will chase or disappear. And whallaaaa.....you have your answer. It's not complicated when you stop chasing women and/or justifying their bad behavior.

 

[Barrister]

Gambino,

With all due respect, you have been a part of this community far too long to make a post like this. It just goes to show you (and all of us) the power a woman's vagina has over us in certain situations. They really are a drug.

You are clearly a guy who is addicted to the rollercoaster type relationships. I have been there too so I am not judging. However, you need to understand that your mind has painted this woman out to be a HB 10 Mother Teresa when in fact she's just another chick. Another one is on the horizon. But you need to detach your brain from the up and down drugs it is on right now from this woman's actions towards you.

Glassguy nailed your roadmap. Go No Contact now for your sanity. And do it for yourself. Not to get her back. Good luck, Gambino.

 

[self_is_an_illusion]

brothers,

This is the girl I posted about a couple of times that I’m dating now for 6 months. In the beginning she was in love and showed all signs of wanting exclusivity but I made mistakes of playing too many games. Not meeting on Fridays and Saturdays, telling her I been in jail for a week which she told her parents and shocked her and she pulled back due these reasons. She’s smart. I could fix it due good cex and just being aloof and sweet the same time.

she pulled back a couple of times trying to distance me and I pulled back also then reached out after a week and we ended up hooking up again when she booty called me after going out drunk.

For a while she changed in seeing me as a fwb and no relationship material because of my character, I just felt that and I accepted it due all our meet up’s and hook up’s were amazing.
Then 4 weeks ago everything went great and I fcked up again. I posted a video on vacation of ordering bottles in a fancy club with some hoes on the video. She texted me everyday until she saw that video she was mad. I texted her to meet up and she told me no i can’t see u anymore we are too different and both need someone else. I called her and told her it’s ok, no worries.

After two weeks of no contact I texted her that I need some help at work with something she is an expert in and she texted me I’m downtown let’s have drinks. I met her and we made out heavily had fun and kept it short and left.

two days later she texts me again and I join her in bar we have a great great evening and she is all over me. She introduced me to her friends and I rock her night. We had a blast and she asks To stay with her that night. We hook up and she loves me. We have lunch at my house and I drop her off. I opened her up and told her I never fvckwd another women on vacation or during our “break”. Before cex she tells me we don’t have a relationship so you can do what you want but if you really cared you would fight for me and not give up when I told u “we’re done talking a couple weeks ago”. I let her talk listened to her and promised I would text her more because that’s what she wants. But i learned that initiating too much leads to her losing interest.

That evening after dropping her off i text her first and it’s been back an forth for the next day. Then she says I’m meeting my parents today and my gut tells me her parents don’t approve me since i have another cultural background and she told them everything. I feel that she is unsure of a future with me but I’m certain 10000% she is attracted to me phisicially and we have great laughs. Then she says “I really thought we would never speak or see too eachother again”
I reply with “it went differently” she agrees.

We talk back and forth and now she’s silent again, she’s seeing if I’m going to chase.

when I was with her she says.
* your so handsome, your so sweet, your so cute, your so nice, I like you 1000 times

problem is also I think I’m not her type. Yes she loves me but I’m not her father figure type of guy, not her race not like her friends just not what her ideal man is in the opinion of her raising, parents idea and her ex boyfriends are all so different then me which she said I’m way different then all goes she ever dated but she never stated this until she broke things up where she says your just not compatible with me and I think we should look for someone who fits us more which then I agreed to. Then radio silence two weeks until I reached out.

Thursday she’s going vacation with her parents and I’m busy this week.

Yes I like her, yes I figured after a long 6 months that she’s ltr potential for me, i finally like her enough to try it.

now what should I do?

Text her AGAIN? Initiate again with random talk and wishing her a good vacation and if random stuff to keep her warm and reassure her of my interest or go n.C. until she reaches out?

I really really don’t know. She also almost cried and was shocking heavily yesterday on the couch when I brought up why she ended things a couple of weeks ago and she said all the talking and hooking up that night was too intense for her.
What is best to do know?

Please don’t judge just tell me what to do going forward now tommorow

Ensure that your desire to pursue a long-term relationship (LTR) is based on genuine feelings for her and not just the thrill of the chase or the fear of losing her.

Since you're inclined to keep the connection warm, a thoughtful message wishing her a good vacation might be a good idea. Express genuine care without expecting an immediate response or commitment. This shows you're thinking of her while respecting her need for space.

The time apart can be an opportunity for both of you to think about what you really want from each other and whether you're ready to make the necessary compromises.

 

[TheGambino]

These are all quality answers I was looking for. Thanks a lot @self_is_an_illusion @Glassguy (def the goat when it comes to women) and @Barrister ofc. Respect!

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Gambino,

With all due respect, you have been a part of this community far too long to make a post like this. It just goes to show you (and all of us) the power a woman's vagina has over us in certain situations. They really are a drug.

You are clearly a guy who is addicted to the rollercoaster type relationships. I have been there too so I am not judging. However, you need to understand that your mind has painted this woman out to be a HB 10 Mother Teresa when in fact she's just another chick. Another one is on the horizon. But you need to detach your brain from the up and down drugs it is on right now from this woman's actions towards you.

Glassguy nailed your roadmap. Go No Contact now for your sanity. And do it for yourself. Not to get her back. Good luck, Gambino.

Not only that but by her behaviors and actions, likely a low quality one who is full of drama.

I've said it before many times. When a woman show you who they are, believe them.

 

[self_is_an_illusion]

These are all quality answers I was looking for. Thanks a lot @self_is_an_illusion @Glassguy (def the goat when it comes to women) and @Barrister ofc. Respect!

My pleasure

 

[TheGambino]

Completely blow her off from now on and see how she reacts.
No initiating texts/calls
Give her one word answers hours later
Or leave her on read.

She will chase or disappear. And whallaaaa.....you have your answer. It's not complicated when you stop chasing women and/or justifying their bad behavior.

@Glassguy @self_is_an_illusion @Barrister

She reached out again, but this wont end well.

So she reaches out again after a day with a kind replie and a picture of her first day on vacation. We go back and forth with fun small talk about her vacation and the pictures she sends. She even sends me a almost nude picture in the morning and comments ''thats good huh waking up like this''.

Anyhow we go back and forth ocassionally, 2-3 times a day, nothing special. Then saturday evening she replies ''no hahahahaha'' on a funny message from me and I leave ''no hahahaha'' on read for 18 hours because I was going to sleep and worked all day the day after, then open up again with a text about her day after work.

This is where she changes again probably feeling bad again for me not reaching out earlier or whatever b*ll****.

Now the game playing starts again, she comes online for an hour without opening my message then replies kind of lame. I replie short also. She reads it no response. I open up another time on her Instagram story and she leaves me on read for 30 minutes then replies back. (she used to do that also earlier in our dating time when she felt like I didnt give her enough attention)

Then I replie 9 hours later with a voice chat because something fun happened to me and when she would fly back. (like also i didnt recognize she ignored me for 30mins) she listens to my message, and keeps me on read for 2 hours then replies at midnight, normal, brief, one comment and 1 answer. I also answer brief and nice and she reads it and doesnt replie anymore.

So my gut told me for 2 days already that shes fading away again. Basically when I give her attention like she cried for last week before cex she loses attraction because she gets the wrong vibes from me and feels like I put in effort and when I let her come to me, she feels ignored so that's reciepe for disaster. Also ignoring me on purpose and staying online so she lets me see that she is purposally ignoring me means she is trying to get me back for when I f8cked up and she had pain and also telling me her interest is lowering or low again right now.

This is it, I'm totally disgusted by her ignoring me again after Ive been so sweet for 1.5 week after our break (also fvcked the sh*t out of her once she loved it). I think whatever I would do it would end up like this again, she realized a long time ago that we arent compatible and can't handle the cex and break ups anymore and I also don't think she sees ltr potential.

I just fear the loss of good pvssy, but my dignity comes first

 

[TheGambino]

There is nothing more telling when a guy is in the girls frame than counting the hours of replies. Dude you've seen this chick for how many months 3 and are so destroyed cause of her? You're muslim right? Your life is boring as fvck, have hobbies, make friends, leave her frame, its just a other puzzy who you have been seen for a few months. She know she has you by the balls

bro how does she know? She cries last week on my lap because she felt like I didn’t give a sh1t I don’t give her attention and that’s too much for her and now we go back and forth for a week and she starts to ignore me but replie later how does she know she got me by the balls? @All_Kindz_Of_Gainz

you know i care so much but she doesn’t know howmuch. We go back and forth on text I never double texted nor became irritated by how she acts just became distant several times and mirroring her when she acted out when I disappeared so it’s not that bad I’m just throwing my thought process out here for you guys to help me and others to LEARN

 

[Glassguy]

Eject.....eject.

Youre in her frame bro. I told you to IGNORE her when you asked for advice, not have 2-3 text convos with her every day.

Why is that so hard? Its like you ask for it from these chicks man.

Over investing is not good.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

bro how does she know? She cries last week on my lap because she felt like I didn’t give a sh1t I don’t give her attention and that’s too much for her and now we go back and forth for a week and she starts to ignore me but replie later how does she know she got me by the balls? @All_Kindz_Of_Gainz

you know i care so much but she doesn’t know howmuch. We go back and forth on text I never double texted nor became irritated by how she acts just became distant several times and mirroring her when she acted out when I disappeared so it’s not that bad I’m just throwing my thought process out here for you guys to help me and others to LEARN

As soon as you start trying to justify yourself to a woman you have already lost.

 

[Giovanni SouthSide]

Inject some dread game/competition anxiety on the chick. Introduce a competitor and put her on ice.

 

[obelisk]

This board needs more drama. Definitely have an LTR with this girl. Definitely....