Forgetting about my ex (Personal Journal)

[European-DJ]

Hi there Sosuave.

I hope you don't mind, and hope you will give me a couple of *****-slaps while doing this Journal (and a bit of response, whether it is a good thing or bad thing to do).

But i have planned to write a journal, with daily updates, to express my fellings, since i Honestly have no one to go to (crying on a friends shoulder is not an option, and me and my family have never been that close).

BackGround info on the relationsship.

She is a smoking hot hb9, with killer looks and body, and really great personality.
Back when i met her, she was kissing on me (and other guys, not at the same night though) while being in a relationsship.
The relationsship lasted for 1 yr total. She ended it after fvcking another guy, and realised that the relationsship had to come to an end.

When she ended the last relationsship, she met me again at a bar, this time i was Icecold, i didn't even want to say hi to her.
This made her IL spike, and since that day, she was head over heals for me.
- We ended up fvcking, and sleeping together a couple of times, whereafter i went to a foreign country for 1 month - when i came back, we Became BF & GF.

Since that day, we saw each other every day, she kept telling me that she had changed, and that she was 100% comitted to me - But her cheating in her earlier LTR, and her VERY flirty (and a bit slutty) personality, always bit me in the ass - i didn't approve it from start.

We were together for 5 months total (and we saw each other EVERY DAY, in 3 months) - had a great sex life, and were happy for each other.
But the reason i cutted it with her, was because of her past (and the fact she had slept with 11 guys in the age of 20) - and the lack of trust i had in her. Sometimes, the only reason i wanted to see her, was because i was afraid she would flirt with others.
So not a healthy relationsship, and i was TOO happy for her .. that is why i ended it.

So here we go - while the fellings are still fresh;

I have this huge pressure to my chest, and i fell like i could burst out crying any moment - i actually Fvcked another girl last night, which made me forget my ex, atleast for the moment i was fvcking the girl.
- I have this urge to call her, and beg her to take her back, and tell her what a jumbo-size-fvckup i did, by breaking up with her.

I know this is wrong though - even if i wanted her back, this would be wrong.

My thoughst about WHY i want her back;

I THINK the only reason i want her back, is because she gave me comfort and daily sex (good sex), but that is the only thing - she took all of my time. Litterely, i was with her 24/7, it was like we had moven in together!

 

[Scars]

You went from one extreme to another. You had a girlfriend who sucked the living life out of you to having ample free time (mind you, that's what you wanted). You are just going through the "shock" stage. Having a drastic change all of the sudden can be shocking. You may find yourself at times not knowing what to do with yourself. Use this time to do all the things you wanted to but couldn't because you had a huge anchor attached to your ankle. You may feel sluggish, and not as "motivated" because you don't have a girlfriend to "love" you or support you or reinforce any crazy idea/dream you have, but recognize that you don't need that. Do what you want to do. You made a decision and now you have to live with it. Deep down it's what you wanted. You made this decision while you were with her, so obviously you were unhappy. Even if you were to rekindle your romance with her, it's only a matter of time before you feel suffocated again. Use this time and freedom and take complete advantage of it. Break ups sucks, and you will feel down for awhile. But, no matter any circumstance, do not crawl back to her. Or contact her in attempt to "just be friends". Just don't. If you start to feel sulky then it just means you need to distract yourself more. It's kind of hard to sink into depression when you are thinking about other things. Be it work, music, hobbies, hanging out with friends.. whatever. My advice to any guy after a break up is distraction. Don't get me wrong, it's okay to sulk. Those feelings are going to surface eventually anyway. For some, it happens sooner than others. It's all a matter of how you handle them. Do not go crawling back to her. You made your decision, and deep down you know it's what you wanted. Yes, it's going to hurt when she starts acting like she's moved on. Yes, it's going to hurt when you hear she is dating/fvcking some other guy. You're gonna have to live with that. Live with your decision, sulk when you need to, but don't let it consume you. Distract yourself, and don't show any weakness. You are strong man. Good luck.

-Scars

 

[SoSuaveDude]

You went from one extreme to another. You had a girlfriend who sucked the living life out of you to having ample free time (mind you, that's what you wanted). You are just going through the "shock" stage. Having a drastic change all of the sudden can be shocking. You may find yourself at times not knowing what to do with yourself. Use this time to do all the things you wanted to but couldn't because you had a huge anchor attached to your ankle. You may feel sluggish, and not as "motivated" because you don't have a girlfriend to "love" you or support you or reinforce any crazy idea/dream you have, but recognize that you don't need that. Do what you want to do. You made a decision and now you have to live with it. Deep down it's what you wanted. You made this decision while you were with her, so obviously you were unhappy. Even if you were to rekindle your romance with her, it's only a matter of time before you feel suffocated again. Use this time and freedom and take complete advantage of it. Break ups sucks, and you will feel down for awhile. But, no matter any circumstance, do not crawl back to her. Or contact her in attempt to "just be friends". Just don't. If you start to feel sulky then it just means you need to distract yourself more. It's kind of hard to sink into depression when you are thinking about other things. Be it work, music, hobbies, hanging out with friends.. whatever. My advice to any guy after a break up is distraction. Don't get me wrong, it's okay to sulk. Those feelings are going to surface eventually anyway. For some, it happens sooner than others. It's all a matter of how you handle them. Do not go crawling back to her. You made your decision, and deep down you know it's what you wanted. Yes, it's going to hurt when she starts acting like she's moved on. Yes, it's going to hurt when you hear she is dating/fvcking some other guy. You're gonna have to live with that. Live with your decision, sulk when you need to, but don't let it consume you. Distract yourself, and don't show any weakness. You are strong man. Good luck.

-Scars

This! :rockon: A few months from now, you will probably wander why you dated her/put up with her crap in the first place. Keep yourself busy and "better" yourself, and you'll be fine!

 

[European-DJ]

Thank you Scars! .. That was a well Written post! ..

- But to give another update;

I am really desperate, i want to call her again..
The Reason is unknown, but she has my 200$ shirt, which i want back (before she throughs it out)..

I will call her tomorrow to get it back, hope she will reply

 

[thewickedm]

My man, a 200$ shirt is not worth the risk of you losing grip. It is a treacherous path you are treading on. Do keep us updated.

 

[chocococonut]

Its really hard to let someone go. I still think about my ex a lot. Despite dating the crap out of other women, she was still the most intimate and passionate relationship I had. She has contacted me several times years later. We both are dating other people, yet we secretly keep in contact with each other. We talk about missing each other, thinking about one another, and wanting to be with each other, but nothing ever becomes of it... I'm in as unhealthy of a relationship with my ex. Our interest level for each other is still so strong no matter how far apart we are. It's really fvc*ed how we are treating our respective significant others like this.

Can you imagine dating someone, being in a long-term commitment with someone, but in the back of your head, memories and images of your ex flash into your head all the time and your heart skipping a few beats in that brief moment? Sometimes that feeling grows and your emotions take over, but sometimes you can shake it off...What do you do?

If you want to get her back, the best thing to do is to remain calm and emotion free. Show her that you can live your life and that you don't necessarily need her, but WANT her. Desperation and begging only pushes people away. Bring her back into your life, but not with desperation. THat will fiall.

 

[European-DJ]

choco...

You are definatly right, but as scars wrote, i do NOT want this girl back - she is unhealthy.

But i must admit, that you are 100% correct in your post - desperation and beging is just giving her the upper hand, if i ever want her back, i will just tell her, and let her take her time (THIS MUST NOT HAPPEN THOUGH, I WILL NOT MARY HER, WHY WASTE TIME ON HER THEN????)

 

[bigneil]

I haven't seen my one-itis or even heard her voice in over 6 months yet I still think about her every day. I've had another HB8 girlfriend for the last 3 months and slept with an HB9 recently but the one-itis really got to my soul.

But the feelings have faded. It's been so long it's almost ancient history. As it fades away, all I'm left with is realizing what a fool I was and what a DB she was.