Foreign Girl: Shy or Disintersted????

[golf299]

Been a while since i posted for advice... This post is gonna be kind of long as i sift through the background info, so bear with me if you would like...

girl in my college class. i talked to her a couple times briefly. we've x-changed smiles as i pass her to get to my seat. last time i talked to her i asked her name, she told it was "Ann"(i detected a bit of a foreign accent from her) then she asked me my name... blah blah blah.

she seems super-shy. thats the feeling i get right off the bat. im unsure how to distinguish whether she's just shy or she is unintersted...

today in class the teacher took role orally for the first time, and when she got to "Ann" she called a different, foreign name to which she responded. this was right after she told me her name was "Ann".

after class i was planning on asking her to this play that we can go to for extra credit, but she seemed to be purposefully taking a long time to leave so as to avoid me. the only thing i could think of is that : A) she is not at all interested and she is deliberately trying to avoid me. B) she was embrassed by being called some other name in class right after she told me something else.

i hate to overanalyze, she's just confusing me. at times she seems to starve for my eye contact and smile, then others she is cold.

she's not making it easy on me, but she does seems shy/reserved. has anyone dealt with anything similar, and how did you handle it?

thanks guys!

 

[DJmonster]

Give yourself the benefit of the doubt. You got the feeling that she is shy, so maybe that's the deal. Assume that she's interested and act accordingly.

The girl I'm with now was shy when I first met her. I couldn't tell whether she was into me or not. I went for her anyway, and after I made the first moves (got #, waited, had lunch, waited, first date, waited), she was all over me after that.

 

[E-Z Rider]

Big 2nd on the "give yourslef the benefit of the doubt" advice.

She may be shy, she may be disinterested. Regardless...you have to take a little more initiative with this one.

You might very well be overanalyzing things- you say you think she seemed to be purposefully taking a long time in order to avoid you. I have two thoughts on that: one, your perception of that might be off, who knows why she really took so long. and two, why didn't you just go up to her while she was getting her things together and talk to her then? I know it seems a little less akward to strike up a convo when you're outside of class and walking in the same direction, but a lot of times it's better to just do it without waiting.

As for the name stuff- a lot of people go by different names than what would be on an official class roster. Particularly if she's foreign, her legal name might be kind of wierd, and she adopted a more "american" name that people she knows call her by.

But the answer to all your questions lies with you taking action. Had you gone up to her right after class instead of waiting for a convienient encounter outside, you'd have a much better idea of this girl's interest (if she declined to go w/ you to the play, you could probably say she's not interested. If she accepted, you have a much higher likelihood of her being interested. Then you'd know to work kino, etc, and go for a kiss to ultimaately determine interest.

Moral of the story- confirmation comes from action, not analysis =)

Good luck with this (a)broad- and take action the next time you see her!

Hope this helps- -E-Z

 

[ScrewIt]

u really think so huh?

i think you're taking this too seriously.

just cause a girl smiles as you smile and walk past?
there are lots of girls ive done that in the past to and you think they're all interested no. this is also signs of friendliness, when you smile, they smile back.

IF she did truly have high IL in the beginning, you must've done something to kill it. my assumption is when you asked her to go to that play. sounded pretty nerdy to me to go to get EC....it interpreted that into her mind.

you're being a little AFC here, try not to be. use some C+F which is always helpful, as girls like guys that can make her laugh.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

You really don't know what she is truly thinking, you may be wrong on all counts. Try to get to know her slowly and maybe she'll open up to you.

 

[4afe]

Yeah, foreign girls are so fvcking weird. They are not a thing for beginners, this one girl was all over me one day but the next day she would act as if she didnt even know me, ohh by the way I wasnt being a fag by pushing her away she was like a 3.5 or a 4. Some times it is hard because the culture that they come from can be so different than what we are used to, so that can usually be a factor. I say give it one more shot and this time, dont think so much (think with your little head not your big one). lol good luck.

 

[golf299]

thanks guys! i'll let you know what happens next time i see her (tuesday)...

 

[Big-J]

Here's advice, and something to adopt in your attitude to use on this girl and every girl you go for in the future.

JUST GO FOR IT.

Why? WHY NOT!


Read my sig if you can answer the second question, that's a bit of what it's about.

 

[golf299]

***UPDATE***

today was the first day i was going to see her since last thursday. to be honest, i wasnt feeling up to much this morning...the class is early as $hit so it takes me a while to wake up. i wasnt worried about talking to her or not; if it happened it did, if not that was cool too.

however, as soon as i walked into the class we locked eyes and she gave me a broad smile and a wave. i could tell she was excited to see me. but, i didnt talk to her, i just went and took my seat. (and i noticed she now had a ring on her left ring finger....i dont know if it was there before or not..hmmmm....)

at the break in the class i went out to the bathroom. when i came back i went and sat down right next to her and started chatting her up. she seemed to be shy/reserved...i couldnt get any eye contact from her or anything. it seems like when im far from her she's open and more friendly, but when i get close she acts like a scared turtle.

anyway, the lecture hall was full of people and no one else was really talking. i didnt care. i kept talking to her (i had to do most of the talking) and i finally asked her if she wanted to go to the play this weekend. it went somthing like "i'm thinking of going to the play this weekend, do you want to come along?"

she said she would. i asked her what day would be better for her and she said she has to check her work schedule and get back to me next class period. we'll see what happens....

after class she took forever again to leave, but i made myself wait this time and we chatted a bit more before we went our separate ways...

any suggestions guys??

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

You did good!!!

Get a date and pursue romanticallly only! And set something up again for the future!

 

[amokk23]

Sorry Golf, the impression your giving me is your an AFC.

Definately from your posts I can see that your Frustrated....

Lay it to her straight if she starts playing stupid games with you, act the MAN and don't give a Fvck have the balls to say NEXT!!

She'll probbably want to marry before sex anyways.



Out.

 

[Serialized3]

The most important thing to do is set a TIME!

Don't say "Let's get together this weekend", it sounds lame and like you dont have anything to do this weekend, and it also gives her a chance to really flake out. She might not know you are into seeing her. Set a time. Tell her "I will be at your house at 7:30" or whatever fits your schedule. Otherwise she could easily blow you off.

 

[golf299]

quick question before i see her tomorrow....

she said to me last time that she'd tell me the next class period whether or not she would be able to make it this weekend.

would you advise letting her bring it up to try and gauge her IL, or should i blatantly bring it up in the convo??

thanks!

 

[golf299]

***Latest UPDATE***

well, here's what happened today...

i wasnt planning on bringing up going to the play at all today. as such, i figured the percentage of her bringing it up was close to zero, just based on past experiences with the flakiness of women.

so i went to class quite apathetic with the whole situation. the last couple class periods it had taken her FOREVER to leave after class was over. i wasnt going to wait for her to lolly-gag around today.

however, as soon as class was over, she was up and headed in my direction. she explained to me that unfortunatley she has to work this weekend and would not be able to make it. i told her that was too bad blah blah blah. i didnt make another suggestion and she didnt counter offer.

however, my respect for her skyrocketed. she could have easily just not said anything. instead, she came up to me AND brought it up. i was in disbelief, and im very appreciative that she had the gumption to do such a thing.

so, although the results were not what i would have liked, based on her actions, i feel like she may still be interested. i mean, if she wasnt interested it would have been 100% easier to just not say anything--and i believe shes pretty shy, so thats what i would have expected her to do if she wasnt interested (say nothing about it).

but, i think i will attempt to set up another date for next week and give her another shot. if that doesnt work out, then i will next her.

any suggestions guys? thanks!

 

[golf299]

no suggestions?