For those who think about quitting

[ChalengeGuyFan]

Since I've lately seen quite a few threads about giving up on getting women, I want to share my thoughts on the matter, I being one who thought about giving up as well, just last week. [furthermore, I wanted to give up on becoming the socially apt person that I wish I were, so my situation goes beyond women]


Other things made more sense than the above: my passion which is cycling, seeing the world, doing all those activities that I wish I had done, embarking on the adventures that I dream about every day, getting a nice job, becoming proficient in a specific field, etc.
Social improvement and pickup seemed like a waste of time.


But then I realised that I was just deluding myself, that I was looking for the easy way out and that I would never feel complete and truly happy if I was lacking women/people skills.
Painful regrets and jealousy on the people who are doing way better than I are things that I want no more.

They say that regrets are the worst; I never internalised it when I read it, but now I live it and, oh my God, that saying is SO true!
They svck big time!


So I decided to "hang in there", because awkward days, rejection and leaving the wrong impression are just temporary setbacks and, slowly but surely, success will ultimately come.

Actually, I may never get to the level that I want to, but the fact that I tried will be comforting to my soul 5, 10, 20 years from now.



Another thing that struck me was that no one has a perfect record (in any field), no one has ever evaded failure, and that those who are great and who we look up to are great because they continued on pushing when they confronted the setbacks. (businessmen, DJs, ancient warriors, scientists etc.)

Therefore I will not let something that is temporary stand in my path towards my goals.



This great, old thread helped knock some sense into me:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=15753

 

[ChalengeGuyFan]

I want to address two more ideas:

1. One thing that I've learned from people on this site: do not make hasty, impulse driven decisions. When the situation is ugly wait for your thoughts to calm down before making a decision. This will increase the chances that the decision is a smart one.

So when you come back home angry on the female population don't make the drastic decision of giving up. Do something that relaxes and makes you happy, think about the women stuff, calm down again and then take the decision that will likely make you happy in the times to come.
Also, check sosuave for similar situations and possibly read the words of some seriously wise men.




2. Principles should result first and only then serve as argumentation.
You may refuse to compromise X in order to get girls (or to be successful with other matters).
But is there a solid justification because of which you should hang on to X ?

For example, X is being very caring about girls and you refuse to adopt a "jerkish" attitude.
Why are you so caring about a potential girlfriend? Because you've been told so? Because you think it's the correct, fair way to treat people?

Shouldn't you put yourself first, get the advantage for yourself, considering that you will live with yourself for your whole life?
The girl may not even notice it, or appreciate it, or she may eventually forget about it. That's just the way people are and you yourself are guilty of it!

So in the end you've been overly caring for nothing.


Buddha said it best:
“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.”

 

[PDubb75]

Great post. I agree, it was needed with some of these recent threads.

I am guilty of trying to take the easy way out. That's why I put off ending my LTR, and in the end, I got hurt because of it. I feel like a completely different person now, and joined here to improve myself. So much of this information has been helpful, and these "giving up" posts were somewhat of a downer. More people need to be focused on long(er) term goals, and not focus so much on how a specific moment turns out.

Making yourself a happy person needs to overshadow short-term difficulties.

Thanks for posting this!

 

[Borknagar]

It's a good idea to give up on LTR and girlfriends, and sometimes even dating, SNLs is where it's at. Women these days aren't worth anything more than a same day f-close. Expecting something to come from a women beyond day 1 is pointless and a waste of your time.

 

[NoCommitments]

Thanks for this thread ChalengeGuyFan. You are a gentleman & a scholar with that attitude! This is what I like to hear from you guys!!

PDubb75 I had the same history as you. So i feel ya bro!!

PLEASE REMEMBER GUYS: We're all in this social networking education together. Thats why there's a forum to vent, ask for advice, etc...No One person on here can say that they're perfect in every way. When I was young I would bang & close chicks like crazy! but now after LTR's I buried many good skills & lost many good friends. So I'm here with all you guys trying to attain the same goal..SOCIAL UNITY!

Theres only two types of guys: Those that try & Those that dont

I know thats cliche & hard to hear if you're shy or have a lot of approach anxiety(like me)...but we need to motivate eachother!!
Otherwise we'll all feel like it's not possible to open up this world of abundance!!

God Bless SOSUAVE. LOL