For the engineers: use your money!

[vorbis]

Engineers are a unique case when it comes to women. No other college course produces so many socially deficient guys

If you think about it, two equally nerdy guys can enter college and do say computer engineering and commerce. The commerce guy's social group is likely to mainly consist of well adjusted guys and girls. Gradually, he too will learn common social skills and get better at the whole dating thing.

The enginneer however can quite easily have a social group consisting of shy guys and little women. The guy now has little impetus to change as he can delude himself into thinking everything is fine as the others in his social group are the same. Some guys do develop social skills eventually. Some like myself finish college and wonder what all the talk about easy hookups was about

So what to do about it now. The main benefit of engineering courses is that you're quite likely to obtain a decent paying job. Use it! A lot of this site's advice admonishes the idea of spending more on the girl than she spends on you. That idea though is only valid if you have experience. If you're a 23 yo with very limited sexual experience, its unlikely that you're great in bed. Nothing wrong with that, experience improves performance.

So how do you keep a girl around if you're competing with better sociallly, sexually experienced guys for girls. Spend money on her. I'm not talking lavish amounts but generally pick up the tab for say lunch. The biggest obstacle for the late bloomer is getting that first serious relationship (> 2 months) Use your money to help keep her around. Getting some experience is critical, how you get it is irrelevant.

 

[LegendBoy]

Bro I do computer science. And I have found some top blokes who are mad at cold approaches and picking up. We do it all day at uni.

It depends i guess on your uni and all. But Australian Unis Engineering or IT does not mean no cool guys.

 

[resilient]

heh.. my g/f is an engineer and a sucker for nerdy nice guys. I caught her eye, by being a DJ and not acting needy or calling everyday. I was always busy and played up on being a challenge and so she pursued me. Hilarious thing is she's more a playette than I am a DJ and always has guys texting/phoning her. Those guys may giver her attention, but their needy and AFC, so she wouldn't actually date them long term.

So I wouldn't knock engineers not having social skills, they can join lots of clubs to get socially calibrated like she did. A few months ago Mystery went to MIT just to teach the Venetian Arts Handbook to guys wanting to get better with women.

Most the guys I roll out to bars and clubs in my lair are computer science majors and have learned to improve themselves.

There's always room to improve.

 

[Chosen1]

Man I don't know what to say about this. I'm not a computer guy but even my mom calls me square. I don't drink I don't smoke. I don't see the reason to do those things when my family members might need my kidney one day. Enough about that though.

I seriously don't know what to think. Now a days guys who are very social are taking these classes just because of the money. Then again I do know a guy who is kind of nerdier then me and he is studying engineering. This guy has balls though he may be kind of a nerd but he just walked up to my sister and she gave him her number. I'm going to say you're right for now. But I just don't know what to think about this.

 

[vorbis]

it isn't meant to be for EVERY engineer. I too know engineer who are good socially and get a lot of women. The point is that engineering more than any other course produces guys with lacking social skills. My post is aimed at those guys.

This does not apply to engineers who are good with women. However, there are a sizable number of engineers who straight out suck with women. Those guys need to leverage everything at their disposal to get started with women as it were.

 

[synergy1]

this thread loses. Engineering doesn't make people inept at women, people make people inept at women. Statements like this reaffirm the obvious; mathematically inclined individuals are often lacking social mechanisms that most have. This is far from new.

For the record, I know guys who are in my old major, and probably pull more tail than a lot of people on this forum, myself included. And I do okay.

 

[AbsolutBeirut]

Having majored in engineering myself I can relate to what you guys are saying. Its just that the work they make us do does not lend itself to reaching out to the world and socializing. If someone was going to ask you what you learned today, you couldnt easily explain it to them. This is in contrast to people with business and psychology majors who might always have something interesting to say. Moreover, engineering mainly attracts guys, so your surrounded by ugly blokes like yourself. Since there no pretty girls in your classes, your not making any effort to look your best, what are you going to get out of it. Of course, these are all self-limiting beliefs, sure that some can overcome them. Not me, I found that my life has made a turn for better as soon as I changed my job from purely technical to less technical, more people facing. If I could start my life over again, I wouldnt have chosen a career in engineering. It has put such a toll on my social skills that I now feel that I am learning late. But better late than never. At least I landed a good paying job, thanks to engineering!!!

 

[Obsidian]

The main thesis of this thread is that you can get girls by spending money. That's what we should discuss. Do you guys really think it's true?

 

[afc_2_dj]

you can get girls by spending money

I used to believe this, especially when I first moved to up here, but have since come to conclude this is not really the case [unless you chase gold-diggers of course, in which cse you'll be dropped as soon she meets a richer sucker].

I do feel though sometimes people go too much to the other side advising not putting out a penny, don't buy girls drinks, etc. I think this is sometimes a bit extreme, like everything in life, a good balance is required.

 

[lebRambo]

Bro I do computer science. And I have found some top blokes who are mad at cold approaches and picking up. We do it all day at uni.

It depends i guess on your uni and all. But Australian Unis Engineering or IT does not mean no cool guys.

I do computer science too dude, and our unis must be TOTALLY different, cause you have never met a group of dudes more AFC than the dudes i talk to on a daily basis. I'd say a full 3/4 are virgins.

 

[wolf116]

Mechanical Engineers are not nerds. Me and all of my Mech Engg friends are quite social and are more into cars and motorbikes then anti-social computers.

Anyway yes you can get gold diggers with money but why don't you just learn some game, save the money and attract the women you choose.

 

[spider_007]

http://mysite.orange.co.uk/aircraftphoto/theknack.mpg

 

[Mind_Body_Soul]

There are AFC's all over the place. I was a comp sci major, but went out and partied with the best of them. Never had a problem getting laid. I had friends in the major that were players and I had friends in the major that were introverted nerds. You could probably say the same thing for any major.

Now, should money be used to get women? I say NO FVCKING WAY! That's just telling these guys they should be AFCs. I think that pretty much goes against everything this forum stands for.

Instead - if they are reading your "advice"... they are already here and are making an effort to improve themselves. They should go out and practice sarging and learn to get a girl back based on their character. And it really doesn't matter if they are good in bed or not initially, they will get better with practice.

The manner which they get the girl back to their place (whether it's through $ or charm) will not change their sexual skill level.

Now granted, I realize you are not saying spend a LOT of money on the girls, so I ask you this, how can spending a little bit of money, e.g. on a cup of coffee or lunch, make any difference as to whether the girl lays the guy or not? It doesn't.

We all spend SOME $ on girls at some point, sh1t I usually meet a girl for coffee the first time we meet up and I pay. Oh, and I was a comp sci major... oh and I usually bang the girl!! I take back what I said. I was using your advice all along and it works great!!!

Ummm NO.

 

[Centaurion]

I studied mech-eng for two years before switching over to law. Damn, it was like the holy gate of heavan had opened up for me as I walked around the law campus for the first time. I went from having 5 chicks in a class of 200, to having 150 chicks in a class of 200. It was totally insane.

When I was doing mech-eng, I had to actively seek out and meet people/girls outside of the faculty. While now I just lay back and let things play out. Tonight I'm going to a lingerie party for law students. I really doubt that would have happened at the eng-faculty.

 

[docv]

i am currently a solutions engineer for a rapidly growing software company and man oh man do i make some serious cheddar. i love it. i cant wait until i get my head straight from my recent breakup and get back on the dating circuit and really tear $hit up. i have to be careful though, i do not want to be one of those chump's who gets used because of his money. i want women to love me (and stalk me hehe) for who i am.

 

[mrRuckus]

Hilarious thing is she's more a playette than I am a DJ and always has guys texting/phoning her. Those guys may giver her attention, but their needy and AFC, so she wouldn't actually date them long term.

Why does your gf have guys calling her? Why is she giving her number out to dudes?

Most the guys I roll out to bars and clubs in my lair are computer science majors and have learned to improve themselves.

There's always room to improve.

I graduated with a computer science b.s. in 2004. I work in the defense industry now along with a ton of engineers and scientists. My whole town is built around this industry so there are LOTS here.

I can't really stand comp sci guys for the most part. They cling to their supposed intelligence as their way of preserving their ego because they lack in so many other areas. It gets so sickening having to daily listen to guys actively trying to demonstrate their intelligence as if anyone cares. They tend to nitpick anything you say and start sentences with "actually" trying to show how smart they are by correcting you when they're really just demonstrating how poor their verbal skills are by taking everything you say far too literally.

One guy puts up pictures of his computer as his myspace pictures.

Another one drives 2 hours to go to a hair salon to get his hair tips dyed yellow and his hair spiked straight up. He drives 4 HOURS TOTAL to look stupider! One guy literally comes into my office and stands there silently for minutes at a time not realizing the conversation has died off and should leave the office now. He's incapable of picking up a social cue. This happens daily.

They tend to be sooo damn socially inept. A lot of the time i'm just embarrassed if they go out with me to a bar, especially the ones that aren't shy but still have no social skills and try hard with women and fail and fail and fail and never learn anything new even if you try to help. I don't know why their brains shut down when it comes to women when they can solve calculus problems in their head.

The funny thing is that they tend to rate themselves far better than they are, which stems from the fact that they make more money than most people and think this is supposed to make them highly desirable to women, but really not because women do care about more than that.

Engineers are usually better and more down to earth type of people... well at least the mechanical and aeronautic types that I'm mostly exposed to.

And the females... i've seen about 2 hot female engineers out of the 100 or so i've met.

Yes, i know there are plenty of exceptions. There are a few cool guys.

And no i don't really look down on people who like geeky things. I like geeky things. I like star trek, battlestar galactica and a good debate on the possibility of time travel, but good lord, find a balance you comp sci freaks.

Now if you'll excuse me, a really cute girl just started working in accounting and i'm going to go walk by her office being careful to to step over the nerd drool by her door.

 

[vorbis]

mrRuckus knows what I'm talking about. Mind Body Soul, I already mentioned that I'm talking about engineers who haven't developed social skills, by your own admission you do well with women, this doesn't apply to you.

By merely being around women in a dating context, you will start to improve your behavior. For a late bloomer, dating a girl (even if just for a few weeks) is like a crash course in social skils. Things like fashion, making sure your room is tidy, in general just making yourself more presentable become more important to you.

So getting that first half serious relationship under your belt is critical. So I'd advise those guys to pick up the tab for dates (contrary to forum advice) as it can help keep a girl around for longer. You have to look at this from the girl's perspective. Most girls (guys included) hardly believe that they must only go on dates with people who they potentially could marry.

Her thought process could be thus "He's a nice enough guy, nothing special, he did pay for the cinema last night, it cna't hurt to go out with him again, I might get a free dinner!"

You are potentially attracting gold diggers. However you will be using them for gaining experience. They will use you for free dates. Obviously, don't pick expensive restaurants for dates, its fairly easy to grab a bite to eat and pay for both for under 25 dollars. When you get a bit of social and dating experience, you can then keep girls around with just your personality. Being harsh though, if you're a late bloomer, your personality hasn't kept them around up till now.

 

[resilient]

Why does your gf have guys calling her? Why is she giving her number out to dudes?

They were when we initially started dating. Now she's called them off. She's also assured me that she tells these guys all about me and the relationship. She cuts off contact with the sketchy ones that are persistant with not being just friends. Centaurion made a good point too. If there's a female engineer she's going to be friends with a hell of a lot of guys. That's my g/fs case, but I'm being confident about that. Fortunately, thanks to being on this site for almost 2 years I know how to start fresh if things head south.

Besides my case, I think left brained people like engineers and CS majors can make it successful with women if they drop their egos, potential salaries -- pick up some new clothes, fix their body language and tonalty then they'll be half way to becoming good with women.

 

[Yotsuya-san]

The enginneer however can quite easily have a social group consisting of shy guys and little women.

What are "little women"?

 

[wayword]

I went from having 5 chicks in a class of 200, to having 150 chicks in a class of 200. It was totally insane.

When I was doing mech-eng, I had to actively seek out and meet people/girls outside of the faculty. While now I just lay back and let things play out. Tonight I'm going to a lingerie party for law students. I really doubt that would have happened at the eng-faculty.

Engineering is like mental weight-lifting. It's way too hardcore for women. Chicks prefer mental aerobics - which include anything in liberal farts or humanities. Basically anything subjective with no wrong answers.

When you ask most career chicks these days what they do - it's usually some type of "consulting" or marketing, blah blah.