For our more mature residents

[Gipper]

Hola, Aztec! I think I remember you.

No need to disclose something that intimate and personal this early. If you choose to begin a long term relationship with this girl, you will eventually feel compelled to share this with her. Maybe.

Don't sweat it right now. Focus on the present. Everything else is just baggage, and nobody wants to deal with that early in the dating stage.

GIpper

 

[PocoDiablo]

My best friend in highschool was a drunk and an addict. About a year ago - 18 years later - he found me and he is now married with a newborn son. I am so proud of him!

As for me? Nothing. Oh wait, I am lying. I was a pathetic geek of a loser through highschool and most of college, I had no social skills, and no life. I got beat up all the time. I crushed on girls and scared them all away.

So what's the difference between him, me, and you? Probably none. We all make mistakes. Then we learn and grow up!

What would telling anyone things about your past help? Nothing. I tell my GF how lucky she is to be dating a guy like me who has learned so much from his past mistakes.

And that is what you should be telling yourself and your GF. We all have a past, the trick is to learn from it and not dwell on it.

 

[Aztec]

It has been almost a month since we started dating.

Last night, we spend time together in my apartment. That's my progress.

 

[Aztec]

An update

Our relationship came to conclusion last week. I don't know what happened. The last day that we saw each other wasn't too bad, we made love that night, no indication of finality. The following day, I tried calling her but she never returned my calls. That's it, I emailed her but there's nothing. Left messages few more times. Then called her at work, she said she's busy and will call me back...never got a call. My last email to her, I told her that she can call or email if she wants but I would definitely would like to know what happened. You can guess what happened...no reply.

Felt a little better after that email. I said what I had to say.

I'm kind of glad that I didn't mention anything about my past (drugs and loss of job) since everyone here agrees not to tell her since the relationship is still young.

This experience really left a dent in my heart since I felt that I slammed into a brick. I don't even know if I made a mistake during that brief relationship.

Also, as painful as it is, at least I can't say that I never tried. Rejection is REALLY is better than regret.

Thanks for everyone who helped me in this process.

Comments and encouragements are still welcome!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Never ask a girl "What happened?" - your best move would have been to not e-mail or call her - you were more excited about her then she was about you - this never ends welll for the male!

Now you know why you never tell intimate personal tragedies that took place in your life to short term acquaintences - they don't need or want to know!.

 

[Aztec]

Originally posted by PuertoRican_Lover
Never ask a girl "What happened?" - your best move would have been to not e-mail or call her - you were more excited about her then she was about you - this never ends welll for the male!

Now you know why you never tell intimate personal tragedies that took place in your life to short term acquaintences - they don't need or want to know!.

Thanks for the reply. That would be the last time I'm asking her what had happened. I'm not denying that my IL is much higher than hers about me.

I've been getting support from buddies, even from my sisters (my personal experience that relatives, esp. females, can't give the best advice). Outsiders (friends and people from this forum) can give objective views on my fiasco better. Anyway, pain is getting lesser and lesser by the day.

Also the reason I was compelled to tell her my past "problems" was I thought/believed that she was the one. I hope DJs reading this could learn something from it.

 

[Aztec]

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