For introvert DJs here, is there a way to show high social value during group outings?

[wifehunter]

Good point. The right kind of funny is "funny to me." I made the joke because it entertains me. If someone else laughs, fine, but I don't really care either way.

The bad kind of funny is juggling clown riding a unicycle kind of funny. "Look at me! Please laugh! I'll do anything."

I feel like weve had this coversation before, although I havent slept in over 72hours.

Anyway, once the basic funamentals are in place, it's dead easy!

 

[LiveFreeX]

My wife is the perfect example of an introvert. She prefers sitting in bed, reading a book. When I take her with me places, she loves me leading and her sort of following along. She doesn't like big groups of people, if she goes out with a girlfriend, its usually one on one. As an extreme extrovert, I don't understand introverted guys but they seem to do well in Asia where men prefer the introvert girls and the extroverts get tossed aside.

I know introvert guys in Asia who have picked up super hot tail, we do a lot of gaming together, those dudes seem to put alot of time into games or magic cards. For extroverts like myself, I've GOT TO BE AROUND PEOPLE... I have withdrawals when I'm not talking to people. Fvkin Canada has become introvert central.

I can't wait to get a pair of these, holy fck, gonna wreck the dancefloor.... so yeah, extrovert.

 

[ohrein]

I'm an introvert myself and always found it hard to show high social value when I'm in a mixed group of girls and guys.

During such situations, the extroverted alpha guys are the ones doing and leading the convo, and I'm sure those of you introverts here can agree on this. What happens is that introverts like me end up being a wallpaper and get lost and fades into the background.
Girls are always drawn to the extroverted guys.

Is there some way to fix this other than to "get more extroverted"? As far as I understand, it's not possible to "convert" from intro to extro personality. I did try prev, but always feels fake, un-natural and try-hard.

Where I shine is always in 1 to 1 situations, where I can easily relate and connect with the girl, but in groups.....no. In fact, I got to know my female friends through 1-to-1, somehow isolating them, but such cases are really rare, especially if my type of girls are the more extroverted lively types.

The thing is, in reality, group outings are the most common, and you isolate the girl from there etc, but if introverts like me are already being dominated by extrovert alphas, girls already see us as low social value.

You don't want to "show" (fake) high social value, you want to be high value. I'm a hardcore introvert and as such I often avoid parties altogether. If you're chasing some tail that's into partying you gotta weigh up whether it's worth your discomfort. I'm thirty and would never date a chick who parties more than once a fortnight. Mostly because I don't enjoy it so it's a conflict of interest but also because those type of girls tend to be very driven on emotion (craving the blissful escape from reality that weekend warriors chase).

You also answered your own question. You shine in one on ones, so move to one on ones as soon as possible.

 

[zinc4]

If I'm drinking, I flip personalities like complete schizophrenic from more introverted to super extroverted.


But I can flip to extrovert sober too, but in big groups, I usually find myself bored as it's always just shallow surface small talk crap and jokes or people getting to know each other. When I'm.in my sales mode, though, can kill it.

I do however, much prefer one on one usually, but when drinking, forget about it....Im doing only actually what my next thought is whether is going crazy on the dance floor, opening a group of 10-15 strangers or approaching random women or just grabbing a ***** for the hell of it.

 

[raider87]

Read the thread King of Puss did on eye contact. You don't need to be an extravert to get women. Just know the signs, master eye contact and body language.
Your strengths are you'll be naturally very distant and aloof.

 

[yuppee]

I've always noted that if I yell for attention, toss up an empty soda can, draw my airsoft pistol from under my shirt and hit the can in midair, it establishes a certain amount of interest. Those who dislike it can go jump.

 

[zekko]

I'm an introvert, although I don't consider myself "introverted" or "shy". I used to be shy, but I worked to get over that. Having said that, it is very difficult to go up against a strong extrovert, because by definition they absolutely thrive on social attention - it feeds their energy, they give it back, and it creates kind of a feedback loop. As an introvert, I can socialize but it will slowly drain me. I don't feed off of it like an extrovert does.

I like some of the previous suggestions like breaking off into smaller groups or 1:1 conversations where you can do better. Also, since we're talking about value here, if you have something interesting aside from the socializing that you display, that can help - like the guy with the big muscles, or Bible Belt's motorcycle.

PUAs tend to tell people to be the life of the party center of attention guy, because that is probably the easiest way to get laid. Not everybody fits that particular mode, however. And not all women want that particular guy, it's just playing the odds. You can still be the cool guy without being the loudest guy in the room.

To me, being an introvert means that I have my own agenda that I am following outside of social pressures. I am on my own independent course, and I don't need group approval. There are women out there who can definitely dig that.

 

[70th Win]

Introverts greatest weapons are aloofness and mystery. Don't try to convey social proof if you don't have it. Instead project confidence in as many ways as you can (body language is big) to make girls want to learn more about you.

Extroverts can dominate the convo but they also try to one up each other and stand out in blatant ways. Their actions are often predictable and lack subtlety. If you can be part of their environment, without playing their game it makes you seem unique and girls will be drawn to that. A lot of guys shoot themselves in the foot trying to impress girls by showing their value. That's ironic because a game aware guy can demonstrate value simply because he didnt try to impress her.

You say you do better in one on one situations so focus on that. If the environment isn't right, don't put yourself in it.

While extroverts compete with each other for big plays the introvert can get girls attention by playing everyone in subtle ways.