For all you angry and bitter guys....

[Jester]

Alright, props to wyldfire for first introducing me to this concept. and props to a show called First Wave making it much more clear for me.

Those girls, and anyone else for that matter, that screwed u over in your AFC past, are all below you now(and they were back then too).

Get it? Theyre below you, youre a don juan bro.

How can you be angry at someone thats so far below you? Pity them, but dont be bitter because of them. What they did to you back then only occured because they were weak, and you didnt know any better. Now youre strong, and they, well theyre still quite pitiful and weak. You can forgive them for screwing you over and by doing that, you also forgive yourself for letting them.


Youre better than them, and nothing can change that. The past is erroneous, let it go by forgiveness and understanding.

Two weeks ago i would have read this post and said bull****, but i have a better understanding now.

 

[Take No Dirt]

Nice post, Jester! I agree with you that the past is behind us. It's water under the bridge now. Today is the beginning of the rest of your life (which may end this night). No regrets, just move on with your DJ life.

 

[UltimateScoundrel]

Jester, just had to tell ya that i love the way you answer newbie questions, you are rude and sarcastic, and that is just what the little bastards need. Muhahaha

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Sarcastic Sardonic Irreverent Impertinent Exasperating Disrespectful and Charming. This is the way of the scoundrel

 

[Sir_Chancealot]

Something I have noticed:

Anytime you call a woman on her bullsh*t, she immediately goes into the ole' "you're just angry and bitter" routine.

Seen it happen a million times.

Now, if someone REALLY IS angry and bitter, THEN your advice is good.

If your best friend says you are angry and bitter, then you are.

If a woman says you are angry and bitter, you probably just proved her wrong using logic.

[This message has been edited by Sir_Chancealot (edited 04-09-2002).]

 

[Jester]

reply 1 thx tnd

reply 2 yeah scoundrel, i do that cause less extreme versions of that knocked the sense into me when i was an afc.

reply 3 aw yeah definitely dude

i was more thinkign of the guys that held grudges to girls from like a year ago when i wrote this.

cause untill i came into contact with a girl from my AFC past i was really bitter. but wif my DJness i saw her patheticness. i was so above her then, its funny i ever let her get to me.

so guys dont hold grudges from AFCdom, ur on top now.

[This message has been edited by Jester (edited 04-09-2002).]

 

[Wyldfire]

Jes! Glad to see that all that typing I did in chat the other night wasn't wasted. I hope you find the strength and wisdom to apply this philosophy in the area you need to most. It WILL make a huge difference and give you so much peace in your life.

 

[indy]

Hey Jester I was thinking this EXACT same thing a while ago when I was driving home from work.

I'd just been thinking about my exes and realized that a lot of things about my AFC past didn't make me mad anymore... I could just look back and smile (not cynically, but actually enjoying it!) at what an ass I'd been with some girls and how I'd let girls mess with my head before and now... now I can see through a lot more bullshyt and instead of getting defensive, bitter or angry, I just laugh it off, refuse to take them seriously and generally treat them like bratty kids!

I think once the bitterness wears off you really start to understand yourself. And once you know yourself, you know what you want. And you're in that much more secure a position in new relationships because you know what you want and dont want... so there's no triggerhappy nexting, you're more tolerant, but you know exactly where to draw the line.

Call it mellowing down or whatever, I think its a great point you made here.

Chance is right too... you dont want a woman telling you you're bitter and believe her for nothing... thats chumpdom.

I think its key to not take them too seriously unless they really start behaving unacceptably - then you next them.

You want to be at peace with yourself, not out to settle scores for wrongs comitted against you... because thats baggage, and thats going to mess you over every single time.

Speaking of which, one reason why I dont really hate my exes anymore is that I realised my actions were as much to blame as they were. I tend to think of them as little emotional automatons who will respond to stimuli. As an AFC, I was giving them all the wrong stimuli and got burned. Being much wiser and with a DJ mindset now, I can look back and trace their reaction to what triggered it. As men, we have a lot of power in relationships if we know how to weild it and how to make it stronger - if we're clueless, it just comes around to bite us in the ass.

AFC behaviour will make a girl who is crazy about you, start hating you... and its all about you handling her wrong.

I am not blaming myself or saying that my exes were blameless little angels or anything, but if I were to be in some of those situations again which I got burned from, knowing what I do now, I think I could come out pretty happy and keep things running along fine.

You just have to realize that you're the master, you run the ship and you're responsible. Use the DJ tools to do your job and you wont need to be bitter.

One of the biggest mistakes a DJ can make is to carry baggage... or try to settle old scores with new women. Its just makes us angry little men then and we DJs are the very antithesis of that - calm, suave, collected great men.

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"We are what and where we are because we have first imagined it." -- Donald Curtis

"We first make our habits, then our habits make us." --John Dryden

"Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance." --Bruce Barton

"It is in your moments of decision that your destiny is shaped." --Anthony Robbins

 

[dead_romeo]

Women: Picturesqe protests against the mere existence of common sense.

Nice post Jester.

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"Conclusions arrived at through reasoning have very little or no influence in altering the course of our lives. Hence, the countless examples of people who have the clearest convictions and yet act diametrically against them time and time again; and have as the only explanation for their behavior the idea that to err is human." Carlos Castaneda - The Fire From Within

"Hell aint a bad place to be" - AC/DC

 

[strwy2hvn420]

Hold up...I know what you DJ's mean by ACF, but what does it stand 4? Peace.

-=-Alex-=-

 

[El Perro]

strwy2hvn420: ACF=[A]verage [F]rustrated [C]hump

RTFB!

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That chick you're obsessing over already HAS a p*ssy... she does'nt need another one, so be a man!