For all of you chasing a girl with a BF

[NaturallySelected]

Hi guys

I am feeling real low right now. I have oneitis for a girl with a BF. I met her last year when she was going out with him, I didn't listen to you all when you warned me to stop seeing her. We get on really well, I have become closer with her than any other woman I have ever met. Which makes it that much harder to let her go. During the time I knew her last year she kept bouncing back and forth between me and her BF. We made out a lot of times, but she always fvcked me around. So I stopped seeing her. Then I hear from her 4 months later, and start seeing her again. Her and her BF are still on rocky ground.


Well since then we've been "friends". Basically, she has admitted to being attracted to me, and says she has feelings for me. Obviously when I dissapeared for 4 months it had an affect. She said she knows she lead me on last year, and she's sorry. She doesn't want to start something with me only to go back to her boyfriend. She doesn't want me to be a "rebound". She says she'd love to have a relationship with me, but she's just gotten out of a LTR and doesn't want to screw up our friendship.

I know, I know. I was told a MILLION times by people here (I had a different name at the time, SANTOS. Read my posts.) It really hurts guys, I feel like sh!t. Last time it was easy to let her go because she fvcked me around, but this time she actually did the right thing and said she didn't want to lead me on.

She really is the only friend I have at the moment. All of my friends have GFs and are with them all the time, and my only single friend is overseas for 4 months. I am crying like an AFC while I type this. I wish I had listend to the advice of the other Djs who said "NEXT!". But I didn't, and hopefully if you are persuing a girl with a BF you will listen to me when I say this: "RUN! FORGET ABOUT HER! FIND A SINGLE WOMAN".

I feel so sad and alone right now, and if I had chosen not to continue seeing a woman that is taken, this wouldn't have happend. Please guys, unless you have other options, leave a girl with a BF alone. I have huge oneitis right now, and because I am so shy and isolated from my friends, it's going to take a long time to get out of this slump. The problem is it affects your ego so much, I have done every DJ trick in the book, but at the end of the day, she has been in a 2 year relationship with her "first love". Realtionships take time to end, often the couples get back together off-and-on.

Well, this is another tale of an AFC not taking the advice of the Don-Juans. I didn't take the advice, but hopefully you will.

Thanks for reading
NaturallySelected

 

[backbreaker]

Her having a BF has nothing to do with her having a BF, it has to do with you putting thic chick on a pediastol. In otherwords, you would be feeling like this if she were single for the last 3 years.

It's okay to chase women wtih BF's, at least in my opinion... I mean, there IS a reason they are not married, and once they are, they are off limits, but that's just my opinion. BUt you have to have other women to talk to on the side, because there are going to be times when you want to see her or things like that and she is with her BF and won't make time for you, and you can't go on a AFC trip when it happens.

f

 

[DJ_Dork]

Remember, "Majority rules"

 

[Pimp-sicle]

I agree getting girls with bf's is exactly the same as getting girls that are single. But you have to make sure you have other options, because just like in any case you'll develop one-itis and then it wil kill you knowing she's fuvking her bf when she's not with you.


PIMP

 

[MindOverMatter]

what pimp-sicle said, don't put all your eggs in one basket.

 

[ddubdubw]

I somewhat in the same situation. I just met this girl and she has a BF. I know they are not doing too well so i asked her when I could take her to dinner. I know she is interested in me b/c she told her BF (of 2 1/2 yrs) that she wanted to take a break. He came up with the "im sorry" **** and she is giving him another chance. She even asked her dad what to do. So i know she is interested. We have been hanging out lately and having fun together. Her BF knows that I like her and he told her it was alright for us to hang out which i thought was weird. I told her that he is kissing ass big time. What do you guys think I should do? He never takes her out or anything and I know I could make her happier. thanks, Donnie

 

[MR_PERFECT]

Her boyfriend is good, he's not fighting her on seeing you because he would come across as looking weak and insecure.


If he does want her back, I think it will be hard for you to pull off. You have to make sure to spend as much time around her as possible. This would be different if you had no competition, but you do and he's been there longer. No matter what she says, she's attached and you have to break that bond they have. Never ask her about him. Always be fun to be around. Always look your best around her. You've known her for a while, what I would do is reveal something personal that would almost make you cry and get a little choked up. If you have nothing, make it up, but make sure there is no way she will know. Sharing an intimate moment like that will make her feel closer to you, but only do it once. She's attracted to you, but she's feeling nothing for you emotionally.

 

[backbreaker]

I never go after women with bf's who are any way type of a DJ... It's just not worth the effort.

But girls that have AFC BF's are prime for the plucking.

The thing is, and this is more important than any type of game you can run, is you have to be patient.. extremely patient.

What you have to wait for is a window of opprotunity. Think of playing super mario brothers and every stage you go to go to murshroom land and you had to match up the 3 symbols... it's kinda like that.

The reason for this is because, well, she wouldn't be with him if she didn't have feeling for him, it's just that simple. But you know he is an AFC. Don't push the issue, have fun around her, be avaialbe at times but not all fo the time. Give and take away attention, be seen with other women, and when she gives you that window of opprounity, pounce on her like a lion at a meat market.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Here's the deal for all you guys chasing girls with boyfriends:

#1-Obiviously they must not be happy in their current relationship to even consider hooking up with you

#2-You need to make her pursue you, because she's the one who has the options not you.

#3-Never ask about her boyfriend. If she brings him up, don't comment on it or change the subject.

#4-Don't try to impress her by taking her out on fancy dates etc. Just hang out with her and see what happens. If the connection is there, she'll feel it too.

#5-Patience is KEY! No matter how bad a relationship is, there's still feelings/emotions involved and its never easy for someone to just walk away cold turkey. Its a process of creating distance between the two and then eventually her breaking up with him.

I would not recommend trying to work it with a girl who has a bf unless you feel like your fairly advanced in your DJism. Its a very tough, stressful task, ESPECIALLY IF YOUR NOT PIMPIN' OTHER GIRLS!!


PIMP

 

[JohnJones]

And this debate has been had a million times, but if you do succeed in making her your g/f, unless your ego is rampant you will always have to face the fact that she did it to him, she can do it to you.

Or, to put it another way, unless there is something really remarkable about the girl, why wouldn't you prefer to have the girl who would never do that kind of thing?

 

[ddubdubw]

Originally posted by JohnJones
And this debate has been had a million times, but if you do succeed in making her your g/f, unless your ego is rampant you will always have to face the fact that she did it to him, she can do it to you.

Well i thought about this too but I think I can make her happy. If shes completely happy w/ me then I should have nothing to worry about. I was at her house tonight and I can tell that she wants to be with me but she has just been with him for 2 1/2 years. I forgot to tell you guys that I just broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years. She does not want to be in that situation like I was. She is wandering what else is out there just like Im wandering. She just doesnt want to hurt him. Im giving her time though. Her brother told me that she has never talked to another guy like she has been talking to me since she started dating her BF. So I know I must be doing something right.
Thanks, Donnie

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Originally posted by Joeybadoey
What would you do then? Just stand there with a blank look on your face?


Just wondering,
Joe

Well what I meant was not to get into any detail or any type of conversation about her bf. If she's talking about her bf constantly in front of you, then your obiviously just a guy-friend to her. If she brings it up, depending on what she says, just have a quick, witty response and go back to focusing on attracting her to you. But I would just change the subject regardless, because it shows her that you don't give a flyin' fuvk about her man and she probably doesn't either.

Example:

Her: I never see my boyfriend, I don't even know why I have one.

Me: So where did you park you car, on this aisle or the next one?

This shows her that you don't care, your not intimated and it doesn't bother you. That's key, you have to like I said be 100% on top of your game to keep a girl's interest when she already has a man.



PIMP

 

[TesuqueRed]

Originally posted by ddubdubw
I somewhat in the same situation. I just met this girl and she has a BF. I know they are not doing too well so i asked her when I could take her to dinner.
Kinda weak but got the point across...

I know she is interested in me b/c she told her BF (of 2 1/2 yrs) that she wanted to take a break.
Typical

He came up with the "im sorry" **** and she is giving him another chance.
Typical...all according to book...

She even asked her dad what to do.
Now this is weird.[/B]

So i know she is interested.
That's what you see?

She's also a rookie. Who the h3ll asks their dad what to do? 12 year olds might...

...but I doubt it.

We have been hanging out lately and having fun together.
No shyt. LOL.

Her BF knows that I like her and he told her it was alright for us to hang out which i thought was weird.
Pay attention young Skywalker! This could be you on the other side! It IS weird and you DON'T want to be there.

Yes--his b@lls still need to drop.

I told her that he is kissing ass big time. What do you guys think I should do?
Date 3 other chicks--like NOW. She's just learning to play game off him, you don't want her to perfect her game off YOU.

He never takes her out or anything and I know I could make her happier.

Yeah right. Line up 2 other dates before her and then make a move on her. Less than that -- you'll be her toast.[/B]

thanks, Donnie

 

[Tasavega]

i have been in the exact same situation man, mine didnt pay off cause she really "feels there is sumthing between us" but she "cant just let him go" i have DJ this babe with every fvcking trick possible and she is hot as hell and has an awesome personality, but i waited to damn long and well if she couldnt leave by then , i did cause it was getting old knowing she was going back to that guy every once in a while and she wasnt mine for sure, so i disapeared for like 3 weeks and she got all depressed and ****, and i was thinking if she missed me that damn much just date me god dammit but ill say this u better put on some moves early cause if u dont she will get close to u as a "best friend" and thats the last thing ur looking for

the frustrated man

 

[Page]

I usually don't go after chicks that have boyfriends (unless the guy is some AFC pr!ck or something like that) b/c stealing other guy's women is against my principles. There's plenty of hot single ass around, so there's really no need.

besides, if a chick is willing to cheat on her BF with me, that in itself proves her untrustworthy b/c if she will do it once with me, she will eventually be doing it again with some other dude. Chicks that stray tend to be creatures of habit and will do it again, no matter who they're with.

 

[ddubdubw]

Im not too worried about her getting rid of her BF to get with me b/c Im not the reason that she is breaking up with him. She told a friend of mine today that it was convenient (sp) that I liked her. If she was completely happy then she would not be having these feelings for me. Right?

 

[MacDiddy]

When a girl tells you she has feelings for you and there's such a powerful connection between the two of you, and yada yada yada and yet she can't let go of her ex

She
A) doesn't really have those feelings for you/ or at most they are exaggerated. I mean put yourself in her shoes and you'll come up with such crap.
B) she's putting you in a holding pattern while she see's how things play off with her ex, or estranged bf, or bf... whatever!!!

How do I know you ask? I was once the bf in such a predictament and some AFC schmuck was her Kill Time Mechanism (KTM - I think I've just started a new phrase ). She told him everything he wanted to hear, they talked about the future, she told him she loved him, but she wouldn't let me go. He gave her an ultimatum and deadline but she still wouldn't let go when it past. He still hung out with her regardless. After a few weeks, he was turned into a lap dog literally. She even forbade him to call her his GF. Anyway he mutated into a crying sulky baby and she left him for good.

I was overseas in that period and it didn't surprise me much that it happened. Though it did **** me, staying calm and cool saved the day

 

[squirrels]

Eh...her boyfriend is her concern. Getting what YOU want out of the relationship is yours.

You probably should've walked a long time ago. But that doesn't mean that EVERY girl who's got a boyfriend is unassailable.