For a LTR, what do you consider damaged goods/red flags?

[SamePendo]

As far as LTRs go. What, in your experience, would you label as red flags, or maybe even clear characteristic/s of a damaged good?

And, are damaged goods eternal? I mean, if you meet a chick that has a considerable amount of red flags, or is maybe a damaged good, is it ok to keep as a lit candle?

 

[Mr. Me]

1. Playing the Martyr, Drama Queens, Attention Seekers, Selfishness, Not being flexible, Prone to Temper, Any show of disrespect, No sense of humor. And of course, low to mid interest level.

2. Some character traits may never change, especially if they're way serious and deep rooted, so why should you waste your life sticking around waiting to see if it ever changes and dealing with the consequences of being with damaged goods when you could be using your time to find and be with a more suitable partner? If they're damaged goods, it's a shame and it's too bad, but you don't want to live life being her psychiatrist and paying for the sins of others.

 

[jophil28]

Two problems...
1. Most unsuitable woman are also consummate actresses, manipulative and decpetive, so her character flaws are usually not revealed until you are "invested"in the relationship and you have (or feel) that you have a lot to lose by bailing.
This strongly appies to personality disordered women (BPds and HPDS in particular)

2.Women in general have a huge ego investment in their infallibility and faultless actions. Any attempt by you to resolve difficulties between you which involves having her own her part in any drama will be met with counter blaming of you, side stepping and all manner of evasions on her part. The more she tries to pull this, the more unsuitable she is.
I listen to her history VERY early in the piece . If she habitually blames "the guy", then she will do so with you .
I have heard the most bizarre "switch and blame" tactics from women and all of these women are still miserable and alone with their egos..

 

[darkstarrr]

Two problems...
1. Most unsuitable woman are also consummate actresses, manipulative and decpetive, so her character flaws are usually not revealed until you are "invested"in the relationship and you have (or feel) that you have a lot to lose by bailing.
This strongly appies to personality disordered women (BPds and HPDS in particular)

2.Women in general have a huge ego investment in their infallibility and faultless actions. Any attempt by you to resolve difficulties between you which involves having her own her part in any drama will be met with counter blaming of you, side stepping and all manner of evasions on her part. The more she tries to pull this, the more unsuitable she is.
I listen to her history VERY early in the piece . If she habitually blames "the guy", then she will do so with you .
I have heard the most bizarre "switch and blame" tactics from women and all of these women are still miserable and alone with their egos..

 

[Corey]

Mainly male friends or little friends at all

 

[Energizer]

My one and only girlfriend was a complete chump. The relationship sucked and lasted three months. She was sexist, her jokes became boring after two weeks, she wasn't social, always hung around with her goofy friends, text me way too much, got attached way too quickly and was frigid as hell. Got stressed out easily, couldn't cope with Uni, and became a B*tch, I dumped her with no hesitation. She made me realize what an AFC I was (and still am, but I'm getting better) and she made me realize how sh*t relationships are, so she wasn't all bad.

 

[GuanYu]

Mainly male friends or little friends at all

I can understand the mostly male friends part, but there's nothing wrong with a girl who doesn't have a plethora of friends. The girl may be new in the area, busy with other things or simply just doesn't want a bus load of *****s hanging around her.

In fact, if I were to be in an LTR I'd prefer my woman not to have a lot of friends. Lowers the chances substantially that she may get hurt or be coerced into doing something stupid and damage the relationship.

Usually when a chick has a lot of friends, the more likely she is to value a relationship. I know every attractive woman has options, but those that put themselves out there are always tempted.

For instance, since relationships are the most fragile in the beginning when there's nothing invested, she's more likely to let her wild side loose in the bar with her "friends" after drinking too much and simply blame whatever happens on the drinkings. The less ordinary friends she has the less that's likely to happen.

Having a few trustworthy, strong friends is a lot better then having a bunch of clueless, selfishm uncaring hangout associates IMO.