Follow up on date w 45-year old woman

[SwedishDJ]

Guys,

As I told you in an earlier thread, I am dating a 45 year old, extremely hot ex. co-worker. I have known her for two years. I’m 33 BTW.

Our first date was yesterday, and I think it went quite well!
I actually asked her out six weeks ago, and kept the date a mystery. This turned out to be a great idea since her excitement about the date did grow continously. And near the end of the wait she seemed quite eager!

We met at this nice italian restaurant and really hit it off right form the start. Lots of touching and eye contact. On the way to the theatre i kissed her, thinking that she was already ready for it. And she was!

After the play she didn’t want to go home so we went t a bar where we ended up kissing and cuddling until the staff politely asked us to leave as it was closing time.

So far so good, BUT:

- She is very concerned about the age gap.
- Admits to have a great need of being in control in a situation like this.
- Wants me to go abroad with her in APril
- I really think I came on too strong. Blame it on the wine. Didn’t tell her i loved her or something like that, but admitted to having strong feelings for her for more than a year.

So what now? I will meet her at work on Wednesday, but otherwise we haven’t made any plans for another date. Since she is a control freak should I call her ASAP or put her on hold for a few days?

Suggestions are welcome!

Swedish

 

[Francisco d'Anconia]

Originally posted by SwedishDJ
So far so good, BUT:

- She is very concerned about the age gap.
- Admits to have a great need of being in control in a situation like this.
- Wants me to go abroad with her in APril
- I really think I came on too strong. Blame it on the wine. Didn’t tell her i loved her or something like that, but admitted to having strong feelings for her for more than a year.

So what now? I will meet her at work on Wednesday, but otherwise we haven’t made any plans for another date. Since she is a control freak should I call her ASAP or put her on hold for a few days?

Suggestions are welcome!

Swedish

Age isn't much more than a state of mind. Unless she can give you specific concerns about the age difference, just tell her that she is letting this so called taboo make her paranoid.

As for her need for control tell her that you don't mind. People should be in control of themselves. The problem is when they attempt to enforce control onto others. If she thinks she wants to control you, ask her what she is attempting to prove.

An extended vacation with someone is a great way to find out if you are truly compatible. Take advantage of this opportunity, if you dare.

Do worry if you came on too strong, that's in the past and you can't change what you've said. You can however, change what you do from now on. March on with purpose and stop flailing about.

Understand one thing, if you decide to ask your girl these questions, don't to it to be ****y, you'll never find out what makes her tick. This is definitely a fact finding mission and you need to know what lies on the playing field to determine if this is a game worth playing.

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Welcome back Swedish DJ - I do remember your last thread - and I was right on the mark when I told you she was the domineering type, Here is part of my comments from your last thread regarding this woman...
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"Don't worry too much about impressing her, she is a 45 y/o and knows what she wants in life. You should be worried about what she is going to do to you once you two are alone at her place...bet $100 she rapes you!

She seems like the domineering type and with the age difference she might try to overpower you and your place in the relationship, stand your ground and be a man and don't let her set the agenda - assert yourself and be in control - older women like strong men and not wussies!"
------------------------

My advice still stands - you should set the agenda and don't go abroad with her...unless you are her Gigalo! It is too soon to be flying around the world with a girl that you really don't know at the intimate level. If you go then she'll know that you are infactuated with her and you have given her power and control of the relationship!

 

[SwedishDJ]

Thanks guys for your support!

PRL, do you really think it's to early for a one week holiday in Italy with her?

Remember, I have worked closely together with this lady for two years!

Later,

/SDJ

 

[SwedishDJ]

Oh, and BTW she was like a purring kitten at work today!

got a dozen e-mails from her!

SO unlike her!

 

[PuertoRican_Lover]

Hahahahaha - you have one date and your second date is going to be for a week in Italy??? Do you not see this as a little strange? The first date must have been a grand time!!

I'm not surprised she asked you considering her age - older women hate to be alone! You knew her for two years, but not at the intimate level, so you really don't know her and do not know her limits.

If you go, don't pay for anything! I think she wants you as her Gigalo for the week!

 

[dietzcoi]

I think you are rushing this. I am now dating a 44 year old (I am 43) and PRL is correct, they do not want to be alone. That can be a good thing or bad thing, depending. She obviously doesn't want to go to Italy all alone. But it could be a really bad week.....

If you are able to handle it, go. If you are going to fall madly in love and go big time AFC in one week, then do not.

This is dangerous ground, be sure you can handle it. I don't mean this to be an insult. When I was AFC I would never have been able to handle it. So I know from personal experience.....

Dietzcoi

 

[SwedishDJ]

Hey Guys,

Sorry for not getting back to you.

I've had an absolutely amazing weekend of sex and passion! So far everything seems to work really smooth.

As for the trip to Italy, I haven't made up my mind just yet.

/Swedish

 

[ToP DoN]

go for it!!!

its more fvcking for you

 

[Skel]

who cares about age

 

[TheRock]

The only way you should go to Italy is if she pays for you .You are the prize here. She is real happy to be with a younger guy.Tell her you would really love to go but can't afford it right now .