Focus on yourself first.

[comote]

Hi everyone, I have noticed a disturbing trend among the posts throughout this whole site.
The focus is no longer on the dj and what he can do to make himself a better and happier person. Most posts seem to be of the following sorts:
1) Oh my god, I think she likes me what do I do?
2) You want more sex, try this it will work.
3) Crap guys what can I do to improve my success with women.
4) You want to be alpha, then act like this.
5) Hey dudes I got laid last night let me tell you how.

What happened to learning how to relax and enjoy your life without women?

What happened to wanting to be succesful not because women are attracted a succesful guy but because you love being a succesful guy?

What happened to realizing that if a situation is not how you would like it to be than you and you alone will be the one who can improve it.

We can not change anything in this world except ourselves. If some situation is not working out the way you would like it to be then you have 2 choices, whine and complain about where your life is at or try and do something to make it better.

I will grant you that some situations are better than others. However if you really want to improve your situation the only real way you will be able to do this is by accepting responsibility for your life. Stop feeling powerless for crying out loud, take control of your life.

 

[WestCoaster]

I've noticed a downturn of late ...

... on the board. Where's Frat & Diddy dam-it!!

Yeah, some AFC'en going on. You're right, let's focus on ourselves folks. Women will come and go, but you'll remain.

 

[Caveman]

You are very right. The fact that you posted this in mature man forum is very significant too. I think the more mature you become, the more you focus on actual selfimprovement. (and not just to be succesful with women)

I don't care about getting laid or scoring with the hottest women. I like the way my life is turning out. I am happy with who i am and i have learned how to be happy with life in general. I am not saying i am a master dj or anything but i am a man that is happy with himself. Not having bad situations get me down. The succes with women comes along with that as a bonus.

But I guess that this is all a part of the process. I do believe that you can change others by giving them pointers and hints. Not by constantly repeating what they should do or how they should act. You can show them the way but you can't make them actually go that way.

 

[comote]

Your right about being able to help others change by giving suggestions and whatnot, otherwise why waste our time on a website like this.
I guess it is just irritating to hear complaints and the when you give honest helpful advice on how to change it the advice goes ignored.
The prevalent thought here used to be if you don't like the game then learn to like it. It seems like now it is
If you don't like the game, I don't like it either lets sit her and ***** about it.

 

[Caveman]

I know exactly what you mean.. I see a lot of good advice being completely ignored by some guys trying desperately to prove how 'alpha' they are by talking down to everyone.

I just feel bad for the guys that come here hoping to find good advice and instead learn how to hate women or treat them like something close to dirt.

All it really takes is a positive attitude, confidence and a little humor.

 

[comote]

You know I actually think the "treating women like dirt" phase is something that alot of us go through. I even went through this in fact. It just seems like alot of the more grounded posters are gone. Those that said hey, women don't suck, unless you want them to .

In all seriousness, women are not the great evil, the great evil is that insecurity that seems to be the driving force behind 95% of the posts I have been reading lately.
I am definitely glad we are together on this one.

 

[Caveman]

Sure, the 'treat women like dirt' is something every guy goes through at one point or another. It is caused by a woman dumping you just when you started to really love her. The thought of how unfair women are by going out with jerks while you are doing everything and anything to make her happy.

It probably is a part of the process but in my eyes just as afc as the guy whining over the loss of his one true love.

I guess these guys will grow out of that too.

Refreshing to be able to recognize someone elses point of view on this site

I fear many of the guys that feel they way you do are turning away from this site, leaving the 'alpha wannabe's' in control.

 

[comote]

Let start a turnaround caveman. We don't have to ***** at newbies even, we just have to point them in the right direction.
I came here when I was dumped by a gf of 3 years and I was in pretty bad shape.

Since then I have had a gf for 2 years, we just broke up for good a couple of days ago. I realized that if I had been where I was at 3 years ago and the site was like it is now I would have been worse off.

It is time for me to give back, I definitely received alot of good advice here and I hope that I can give some to aspiring men, not aspiring dj's but aspiring men.

 

[Bungo Pony]

In all seriousness, women are not the great evil,

I think the great evil is giving into other people's evil. In this way, you actually turn against yourself and let others control your life. Men who hate women have allowed a woman's evil side to control them.

 

[Caveman]

Alright, comote.. But we need more men. I know there are other guys around here that learned from this site and are willing to give back.

Like you, this site made me get started on changing. It helped me understand why i was failing.. not just with women but with life. I really wish i could pass this on to at least one person and help them get started..

 

[comote]

Hey Bungo, I claim that your great evil is a subset of my great evil.
Just kidding around, definitely a good point and it does not just have to do with women either.

 

[comote]

Originally posted by Caveman
Alright, comote.. But we need more men. I know there are other guys around here that learned from this site and are willing to give back.

Like you, this site made me get started on changing. It helped me understand why i was failing.. not just with women but with life. I really wish i could pass this on to at least one person and help them get started..

You know what we have to do is just be more active. I will make an attempt. I see we both registered right about the same time in the golden years ... when the advice here really was good and being a dj meant something(just kidding around).

Yet between the two of us we have barely a post a day. I say when the wimps start spitting out hate we show them how to attack the world with real confidence. We need to bump some of the really great posts and make sure they stay on people's minds.

 

[Caveman]

Okay, I will try and be more active.. This also means giving credits to good posts and advice. Maybe that'll show the newbies the good from the bad advice.

 

[comote]

definitely ... I hadn't thought about that, thanks

 

[Caveman]

hmm.. how did this post evolve from focus on yourself to focussing on others?

See ya around, mate.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Originally posted by comote
Hi everyone, I have noticed a disturbing trend among the posts throughout this whole site. The focus is no longer on the dj and what he can do to make himself a better and happier person.

This is what the DJ site means to me (just like is says on Sosuave.com's intro screen):

Discuss meeting, dating, and attracting women with others. Ask a question or give advice. The Don Juan Discussion Forum is always full of interesting topics being bantered about.

What happened to learning how to relax and enjoy your life without women?

WTF are you talking about? I'm a mature man with my sh!t together. I ALREADY enjoy my life. I'm here to learn how to score chicks WHILE I enjoy my life.

That sucks if you hate life, so don't bring us down with any negative sh!t. Get your sh!t together, then start asking for advice or giving advice about women.

I've got my game down, so let me teach and learn methods to bang b!tches.

Please step aside.

What happened to wanting to be succesful not because women are attracted a succesful guy but because you love being a succesful guy?

This is not what this site is about.

Look, alot of you guys treat this site like a fvcking religion.

AFC = SINNER

"Is this AFC? (sinning) " "Look at that AFC!" "OMG, that guy did [insert mistake here], so he's an AFC"

DJ = CHRISTIAN (or whatever religion you choose)

"Does a DJ (Christian) do this?" "I acted so DJ towards a woman the other day" "I have my life together so I'm a good DJ (Christian)."

MYSTERY/POOK etc = Saints / Gods

WWPD? / WWMD?

It's fvcking not a religion, don't treat it like one with every fvcking aspect of your life lived trying to act 'DJ' and not 'AFC' (or should I say acting like a good Christian and not being a sinner)!!!

These words are really just stupid buzzwords that some of you live and die by. I understand they bond the community, but c'mon guys. Some of you take it WAAAAAY to far.

Geezus guys, just go out and score girls and if you run into a road block, ask for help!!

If you want to go do some self improving, fantastic. Go get an education, get a job, read some books, but don't fvcking come here and bring me down with your stupid life issues that don't relate to discuss meeting, dating, and attracting women with others

 

[Caveman]

Actually, this thread is NOT meant to talk about DJ-ing as a religion and worshipping DJ's and stuff lik that.

True, this site is meant to teach guys how to deal with girls but the main thing that most of the guys are trying to get across is being confident, being happy about yourself and getting over 'oneitus' or not putting women on peddistals is the key thing.

This site was never meant to complain about this biatch or teaching how to hate women. And that is just the thing that's been goin on here for a while now.

 

[ER!C L!VE]

Originally posted by Caveman
Actually, this thread is NOT meant to talk about DJ-ing as a religion and worshipping DJ's and stuff lik that.

I understand that. However, this thread started as a mutation of what the DJ site is about. A mutation that I believe poisoned many of the newbies around here.

It's just a fvcking website!!!

If you want self improvement, go read some books. I'm here to SPECIFICALLY learn about dating and women!!

This site was never meant to complain about this biatch or teaching how to hate women. And that is just the thing that's been goin on here for a while now.

I agree.

 

[Bungo Pony]

WTF are you talking about? I'm a mature man with my sh!t together. I ALREADY enjoy my life. I'm here to learn how to score chicks WHILE I enjoy my life.

This is very amusing. You're a newbie! Remember that some of us came here YEARS before you did. Things evolve, and unfortunately this forum has evolved in a negative way.

The point of this discussion forum (not the actual website) was learning how to survive without a woman which in turn attracts women. The point was being in control of your life and being able to take or leave a woman. In the beginning, a woman's pu55y wasn't the carrot for the man, the entire man was the carrot for the woman.

Also, with regard to the abbreviations and the "slang" on this forum, you'll find that many discussion forums out there have their own abbreviations and slang. If I tell you "I was DFed from the WTS for apostacy against the FDS", you wouldn't understand what the hell I just said, but the other discussion forum I visit would read it clearly.

 

[comote]

Thanks caveman, Thanks Bungo,
Eric, you need to calm your sh!t down man, your likely to have a heart attack at your age.

It is very telling to me that you took the post as a personal attack. In that case I will make sure and check all your past posts for content that I disagree with, but take your heart medicine before you check your posts 'aight.(I tried to use age appropriate slang, does it work for you?)

I don't hate life, in fact I am loving life alot these days, sh!t is going great for me right now. This is a great point in my life to give advice. I am happy, I am without a gf and I am living life to the fullest.

I am not against scoring chicks at all, I am against those who seem to think that our focus should be on scoring chicks. Our focus should be on becoming the kind of man that chicks want to score with, not because chicks will score with us.

The reason I beleive we should become the type of guy chicks want to score with is because we are happier as that kind of man.
We are not happier because of the chicks, the chicks come because we are happier with ourselves.

I rarely utter the phrases "afc" or "dj" because it simply stupid.
You can act like an idiot and that is simply what it is.

You are welcome to post all you want about scoring chicks and I would love to hear more about scoring chicks. But I simply think someone should also post about the other side, making yourself into a person that you can be happy with. If that is a problem for you that is just too fvcking bad.