Flying solo tomorrow night, any tips?

[WestCoaster]

OK, fed up (temporarily) with the internet dating scene, I'm actually gonna hit the bar scene tomorrow night in my mid-sized city. We actually have a decent nightlife here.

Anyway, I tried this once before when I first moved here and got pretty bored fast, no wingman.

Then my two MARRIED friends joined me months later and got more attention than I did (they know how to do this; they also hid their wedding rings). I did meet one blonde but she was like 20 years younger than me and attending college where I work so I backed off. She's like, "Oh, I've seen you on campus." Yeah, I'm sure my boss would like me hitting on the co-eds! ... Hmm, though I think about hitting on the co-eds 24/7/365.

I know I'm probably too old to be doing this sh-t, but I'm bored. And don't worry, while I'll get more lit up than a firework on the 4th of July, I'm walking. I don't do that drinking and driving sh-t, and I live near downtown.

So fellow older DJs, any tips would be good. While I've dated a LOT of women in my life, I've met ALL of them either in class at college, a night class, a sports activity, the internet, or at work. I've never really done well in the bar scene.

I'm gonna prep for the evening by reading Player Supreme's Eye Contact Game like three times.

* What do you do without a wingman ... besides drink heavily?

* The goal is to get at least one phone number. Something's gotta happen besides drunken stupidity?

* My theory is to keep swinging the bat, even if you keep striking out ... wish I had a wingman, however.

 

[MindOverMatter]

You don't need a wingman. I do all my club/bar pickups solo. In bars/ clubs, girls tend to do everything together true (like dance together, go to the bathroom together) but one thing I've noticed is, they always go to the bartender alone.

I wouldn't drink too much tho, you don't want her to put you in the "drunk older guy who wont stop hitting on me category". It will also affect your game heh.

Other then that, check out the gunwitch method, it's worked like a charm for me in bars/clubs: http://gunwitch.fastseduction.com.

 

[WaterTiger]

Keep your brain off the juice! You got babes to score with! I usually drink plain coke with a lemon twist. Tell the Bartender you're the "Designated Driver" and he might give them to you for free.

Just focus those deep, smoltering, spicy brown eyes and stare her clothes off! Remember that you are THE Gift-From-God-Alpha-Male-Stud-Muffin and they are SO fvcking lucky that you even acknowledge their presence.

Go get'em!

 

[WestCoaster]

Thanks for the tips

Well, I'm not expecting much. I'm about as good at a bar as the L.A. Clippers are at winning basketball games.

I plan on reading the Gunwich method material and definitely Player Supreme's eye-contact game (which should be in the DJ Bible by the way) ... and my field report might not go out.

I mean who wants to read this:

Met HB9, talked with HB9, she said she had to go.

Met HB8, laughed with HB8, she politely shook my hand and headed with her gfs to the pi-ser, never to be seen again.

Met HB7, smile, chatted; her and some other broads found some guys more age appropriate ... sucked down another Henry's, the combo of my 5th Henry's and half a bottle of zinc tablets has the HB2 waitress looking like Vanessa Williams.

... I know, I'm not supposed to be taking the negative attitude. I'm just not expecting much, but I am gonna have fun. Luckily since I've become a DJ (or at least a DJ in training), the rejections really don't bother me anymore. I look at it as their loss.

But thanks for all the tips and support ... I love this board!

 

[MindOverMatter]

WestCoaster, I'd also recommend reading this:

http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/read?169243,16e#169243

 

[comote]

It really depends on what you like to do. I honestly don't think a regular club is the best place to go. I give one suggestion: Go to the type of club that you would enjoy going to if there were not going to be any women there. I think that is a great first step.

 

[stevera004]

Dance clubs are not a good place to go for me. Mainly younger women and old hag divorcee's who think they're still young (they're not fooling anyone). The other side of that is way too many guys; sausage festival for sure. I would head for the bookstore or the library (or local coffee shop) myself.

 

[WestCoaster]

Actually I'm going "pubbing" not clubbing

In the Northwest we have a lot of brew pubs where cool, classy, educated people hang out and that's what I'm doing tonight. Mostly people just hang, no loud techno-sh-t music and 21-year olds looking like 35-year old beaten-up ho's.

Yeah, I am doing the bookstore/coffee shop thing to warm up, too.

I'm amazed what confidence and a nice smile can do these days. Just yesterday I struck up a short convo outside the campus fitness center with a cute co-ed. I had the absolute worst opening line of all time: "Hot enough for you?" It freakin' worked because it was 95 degrees out and I smirked when I said it.

So anyway, thanks for the props. This is more of a test run to practice DJ skills.

* My fave woman Vanessa Williams gets a headline on the front page of the DJ site! Yes! OK, those infomercials suck, but she's still easy on the eyes. (Is Rick Fox nuts?) I often like women like I like my coffee: black with a lot of mixtures in it!

 

[Bungo Pony]

Originally posted by comote
Go to the type of club that you would enjoy going to if there were not going to be any women there. I think that is a great first step.

I agree. I used to do all my DJing solo.

Here's my tip: find a place that you like and become a regular. Every bar has regulars. Get to know them all. Make conversation with every man and woman who attends regularly. This is a great way to build up social proof. You become one of the popular people in that location.

Now, every bar also has people who will probably never go there again. When you see a new face, get to know the person, especially if it's a woman that you're interested in. She will see how well liked you are and immediately want to become part of your life as well.

I also used to use my bar full of Social Proof for my dates that I didn't meet there. I loved bringing my dates to my Social Proof bar because it would boost their IL. I'd walk in with my date and be greeted by all the regular women.

Tackling women in groups can be a challenge, but it can be done. It's best to pick only one woman out of the group that you'd like to date. Strike up a conversation with the least attractive first. Move your way up to the one you'd like to date. By then, you'll have gained the favor of all her friends and you won't be c0ckblocked. Then you can move in for the kill.

Beware of the attention wh0res who will only take an interest in you for money, cigarettes and booze only. The women should be buying you drinks, not the other way around. If you have a woman buying you a drink, then you'll know you're doing things right, and her IL is incredibly high.

 

[GirlCrazy]

What better way to set yourself apart from all the drunk slobbering AFC's (who need that liquid courage to approach) than to stay sober and be at the top of your game.

The best PUA's I've known always fly solo. Just get on the dance floor all by yourself and start dancing! It's a sign of confidence, and you WILL get noticed.

Here's my tip: find a place that you like and become a regular. Every bar has regulars. Get to know them all. Make conversation with every man and woman who attends regularly. This is a great way to build up social proof. You become one of the popular people in that location.

God that's so true. Just try to be a "solo regular" or risk what happened to me in my favorite pub. My roomate bonked somebody on the head with a pool cue and I got 86'd (permanently) just for being associated with him. But ..but .. I was just playing pinball and chatting with whats-her-name !

 

[GirlCrazy]

If you have a woman buying you a drink, then you'll know you're doing things right, and her IL is incredibly high.

Don't be shy about it either ... have her buy you some tacos too if you're hungry

 

[comote]

Ok second tip: once you are at the place where you would have fun even without women. START HAVING FUN. If you like darts start playing darts by yourself, if you like pool start shooting around by yourself.
I like latin clubs. I start getting into the music while sitting down at a table. It works wonders my friend.

 

[-HPNOTIQ-]

3 club/bar

3 club/bar rule - basically, start the night off early and hit 3 different clubs/bars. the first, make it a club/bar you rarely go to or never plan to go to again..the second, make it a club/bar you'd like to attend more...the third, makie it a club/bar you frequent often.

at the first club -- Since its a club you rarely attend, this is a great place to warm up your DJ skills. Make eye contact, be C/F, be confiden, talk to EVERYONE, radiate that charm. Talk to everywoman at the bar. Talk to the bartender. Talk to HBs. Talk to not so HBs. It really doesn't matter if you are successful, this is just warming up ground. If you get shot down, who cares, you're just warming up for the next club.

at the second club -- Learn your lesson from club number one. By now, you should be more relaxed and easy in this type of scene because club number one warmed you up. So go out, be friendly, talk to everyone and have fun this time...a fun fella is someone everyone wants to be around.

at the third club -- You're all warmed up now. Since you've been to two other clubs/bars, you are now more suited to act like a natural DJ in the third club/bar where the best women are. Approching women should be a snap. Regardless of a crash and burn, or a successful PU..the idea is to become comfortable in the club/bar situation.

Of course, the more you do this, the more natural it will become.

Being in the Northwest too, there is this Club/bar area in Seattle Called Pioneer Square that has about 20 clubs in a 5 block radius. A simple one time cover charge can let you into like 6 or 7 different clubs that share a cover charge agreement. See if the clubs/bars in your area have this. You can save that money on some liquid courage!

 

[dj2l8]

Getting by the "You're here alone?"

Hey fellas,

This is a good thread, thanks for the tips. But I've been meaning to ask a question here. I'm here in Stockholm (yes its' full of HBs) and trying to develop some DJ skillz. Been doing the boot camp and so far so good. Yeah, still in the AFC category, but I've had my days due to some good connections and some pro DJ friends back in the states. Anyways, on to the question!

How do I get by this: (this has happened a few times here...)

HBx: So, who are you here with. (curious look)
Me: Just me, myself and I...or some variant...to bad the De La Soul reference is lost on the Swedes.
HBx: So you're here alone? (shocked, somewhat horrified look)
Me: Yes...blah blah blah about my friends here who are a bit anti-social...blah blah...

Now, this has worked alright I guess. But I have to do a little leg-work to get by the, "what kinda looser goes out to a bar/club/pub alone look?"

Is there a smooth way of deflecting this question? Many, many people I've met here, seem to think that going out by themselves is just nuts.

heck, I'm in DJ training...I can't just sit around and wait for a freakin' wing man!

 

[stevera004]

Re: Getting by the "You're here alone?"

Originally posted by dj2l8

HBx: So, who are you here with. (curious look)
Me: Just me, myself and I...or some variant...to bad the De La Soul reference is lost on the Swedes.
HBx: So you're here alone? (shocked, somewhat horrified look)
Me: Yes...blah blah blah about my friends here who are a bit anti-social...blah blah...

Your first answer is something a 12 year old would say. You're second answer is just lame.


Answer to first question:

"You". Smile + Confident.

Answer to "are you here alone".

- Make up some BS story about your good buddy who had a girlfriend emergency and had to leave (or whatever, be creative)

 

[Ricky]

I like the 3 bar rule, great idea to whoever posted that.


Here is my two cents on winging it alone:

I moved far away a few years ago for the summer, went all alone and it was the best experience of my life. I had to wing it alone but I made new friends and had a great time, plus it was a hell of a boost to my self confidence knowing I could move so far away by my lonesome and still kick some butt.

1) Join any sports related activity you can, example take tennis and some type of martial art. You can meet people there.

2) Find bars and clubs that have an atmosphere you really like. For me I've always liked places with bands over DJ's (I play guitar and also DJ but much prefer live music). I also really like Irish Pubs for their laid back atmosphere. Finally a trendy upscale martini bar isn't a bad place to go either.

3) Much like the 3 bar idea, I'd typically hit the martini bar first (really primes the buzz), then go see a band or hit the Irish bar. I became a somewhat regular at the Irish bar and believe me making friends with the other guys results in you all teaming up to DJ the girls that come in.

4)Additionally make good friends with any female bartendresses. I used to go this upscale bar that wasn't so busy on the weeknights. Became great friends with the girl behind the bar. She would hook me up on drinks. Unfortunately she had a serious boyfriend. But she did try to set me up with one of her friends.

I winged it alone because I had to in the new town. I may have to again in the near future as I'll probably move for a new job in a new career next year. When you have to do it, it's no choice and alot better than sitting at home wonder what could be on a Friday or Saturday night.


"Instead of I might go do this, think I MUST GO DO THIS"

 

[dj2l8]

"You here alone?"

Roger that stevera,

Although I didn't actually use the de la reference, the end result is the same. I like the "You" answer you mentoned...as for the second one, sounds like just about anything will do there except the truth.

 

[Crank_It_Up]

there is no secret phrase, method, tip, clothes, dance moves, etc. that will work everytime. Just be yourself and when you first see a cutie that catches your eye, don't hesitate. Girls like a macho guy that's not afraid to approach them. Not a guy that has to rehearse his lines, or build up his courage before making his move. Just go right up, shoot your shot, be yourself and see what happens. If she's not interested, move on, simple as that. No big deal. Good luck and happy hunting.

 

[Silk]

Great tips here. I'm gonna do the 3 club method soon. Sounds like fun!

I must say that clubbing solo is more fun than I imagined. You'll feel VERY independent and it forces you to talk to people and just approach all the time.

Here's my tip: find a place that you like and become a regular. Every bar has regulars. Get to know them all. Make conversation with every man and woman who attends regularly. This is a great way to build up social proof. You become one of the popular people in that location.

This is so true. When you see some guy solo sargin' just go over and talk about chicks, the place, everything. Don't ****block though!
You might join together as wingmen on the spot.

One last thing. When I went soloing I was surprised that several people started to approach me. I was wearing some crazy t-shirt and people just started to ask questions about it. Very cool. I just know that wouldn't have happened if I were with my friends.

 

[phenom]

I've actually had some of the best times going out solo. I have this more of a "nothing to lose attitude". Sometimes when your with your boys, there is an added pressure to suceed. Most of the time I feel like I'm trying to impress them more than actually picking up the girl.

Besides, if you get rejected when your solo; who's going to know about?