Flirting: a big problem for me

[lokariototal]

I have problems with expressing my sexual desires with women. Flirting with women for me, it's something that makes me nervous and it's not enjoyable. It's something that takes a lot of effort and I dont know what to do about it! How can I make flirting a good experience for me? Flirting is so hard for me that I don't do it if I'm KINDA attracted to a girl. I would have to be VERY ****ing attracted to a girl to be motivated enough to do it, and even still, I think about it many times before doing it, cause it's something that takes effort to me. What can I do about this? I'm tired of it

 

[Mr.Freestyler19]

dont think about doing it just do it...hav good eye contact and smile all the time...
i wish i could help you more but it just comes out naturally of me..and also b confident all the time and use kino....it makes a difference

 

[TheCzar]

Sounds line you are apathetic about it. Your search for effort is really a fear of rejection that is so strong that you are feeling the rejection before the game even starts. You need to get out of your head, do things that put you in a positive mood and learn to believe in yourself. Realize you need to play the odds and work on women you're only so-so attracted to so you can gain confidence in yourself.

TC

 

[PRMoon]

Your primary issue is fear. You said that flirting is not "enjoyable". This is a standard diagnosis for sociability not being a non-standard for the participant. You need to realize that meeting people (girls or guys) is a standard affair. I understand that thinking that meeting girls may put pressure on you but you need to get in a place where meeting anyone of any genre is natural. There are more implications on meeting women but ultimately those implications amount to less than 10 percent of your social nature. Being able to direct EVERYONE to your will is far more important then trying to impress women alone. You have to understand that being the focus of all peoples will grant you more rewards than simply being "that guy" will benefit you to means without limit. Think about the benefits of what you can gain for yourself as opposed to "I kind of attracted to this girl but..." and you'll do a lot better. Status counts and how you manage yours is a factor to how you can manage your power here.

 

[scribblec]

i used to be like you thinking everything was a chore and required huge amounts of effort, but the reality is that interacting with other human beings shouldnt feel like this.

what changed my whole mentality is not giving a **** if the chick you talk to doesnt like you... why should u give a **** who is she to you?

once that happened talking to girls became something that was fun to do instead of a chore, when you know the pickup game and your making chicks qualify themselves to you whilst flirting = ftw!

so my advice (i know its easier said then done) is not to care about the outcome of an interaction and then it wont feel like a chore

 

[thecurtainfalls]

You're trying too hard to define flirting as something that you can follow step by step, like assembling an office chair. Flirting is a free-flowing experience, and if you're in your head while you're doing it, you're probably coming off like a giant dildo (no offense meant - just some tough love here).

My advice is to get more comfortable talking to people. Talk to more strangers (girls and guys). In essence, flirting is just a friendly interaction between a guy and a girl that carries an unstated sexual charge. Yes, you should try and have good eye contact and smile a lot, but you can't plan your flirting. You need to figure out why you don't enjoy a friendly interaction with someone who sees enough value in you to be flirting with YOU - and push yourself to remove your ego from the equation.

It's okay to be nervous, but don't confuse nervousness with the entire experience being unenjoyable. If you're not getting your heart pumping once in a while because of an exciting interaction with a hot girl, you're not really living! Your discomfort is probably due more to inexperience and nervousness than anything else.

Force yourself out of your comfort zone and treat the interaction like the light-hearted exchange it should be.

 

[I'm in the Mood]

I have problems with expressing my sexual desires with women. Flirting with women for me, it's something that makes me nervous and it's not enjoyable. It's something that takes a lot of effort and I dont know what to do about it! How can I make flirting a good experience for me? Flirting is so hard for me that I don't do it if I'm KINDA attracted to a girl. I would have to be VERY ****ing attracted to a girl to be motivated enough to do it, and even still, I think about it many times before doing it, cause it's something that takes effort to me. What can I do about this? I'm tired of it

You mention "How can I make flirting a good experience for me?"

Well to make flirting a good experience, you actually have to flirt.
I know it's hard to believe isn't it?

Like what you should find hard to believe is just because you DON'T flirt, that doesn't mean you CAN'T flirt.

Everybody can flirt.
The reason why you think you have trouble "expressing your sexual desires with women" is that you're afraid of some or a combination of getting rejected, getting a bad reputation, getting your feelings hurt, etc...

Hey, I want you to read this and believe it:

A man's sex drive is COMPLETELY NATURAL.

So what if you get rejected?
You won't ever get the sex you deserve unless you TRY.

Trying usually involves getting rejected a few times, but that's the least of your worries.

You should be worried about letting your fears CONTROL YOU.
You are not living your life how you want to live it if you're holding back flirting when you know you really want to flirt.

It does help to actually understand how to flirt, though.

Here is a plan that I have for you:
1. Find and read some books on flirting, and observe and copy how other guys flirt with women. Write everything that you observe down on paper so you'll remember it.

2. Here's an easy one - FLIRT!
Practice makes perfect...just like how most guys suck at sex their first time, you're probably going to suck at flirting. But what are you waiting for? You'll never get good if you don't start somewhere. Try.

Time's a wastin'