Flint's Journey To Enlightenment - Field Journal

[RedZone]

Hey man, it's great to see you open up and get rid of your fears. Def. a step in the right direction.

Like I said, in another post height is not the biggest deal. I knew a kid in H.S. who was probably around 5ft, he was on the wrestling team and flat out dominated. Everybody liked him so height def. is not that big of a problem can over come it.

Also, look at Michael J. Fox in his prime...he was short too. What he lacked in height had in energy.

Hope this helped and good luck! Keep up the good work!

 

[flint]

Hey thanks for your posts guys I appreciate it.

So last night I did something which is probably seemingly normal to a lot of you but I had never done it, and I felt incredibly akward about it (which is why I needed to do it of course). I actually went to a bar by myself. It wasn't a huge bar, it was sort of an after work bar. I wasn't even looking to practice pickup, I just wanted to go out to feel comfortable going out by myself. It turns out I ran into a couple of guys who thought I was really cool, and the whole night I had to buy one drink.

Now I'm not announcing this as if I've made a huge stride or something, but I am working on extending my comfort zone. Funny thing is, one of the guys gave me his business card and told me to give him a call if I wanted to get a job in sales, so it was a pretty cool encounter. But anyways, its Friday, time to practice!

 

[flint]

Friday Night

Alright, I went out last night and there is one thing I learned more than anything else about it: The people I hang out with leech the fun out of anything.

I went out with 1 thing in mind, I wanted to have fun. That's it. I didn't go out with some kind of goal like "Oh I want to approach 30 girls", or "I want to pull 5 numbers". I just wanted to have fun. And it turns out I have the most fun when I'm shooting the sh*t with strangers and just meeting new people.

So me, these 2 girls I've known for a long time, and my other good friend go out to this bar. At first its just me and one of the girls because we were waiting for everyone else. To be honest, she bores me, so while I'm sitting there talking to her I was secretly looking around for easy people to talk to. A few minutes into the conversation these 2 really short girls walk by trying to get a drink around us in the crowded bar (and keep in mind short is like my height).

As they get their drink I was thinking about saying something to one of them but I realized I was thinking about it too much. As she walked by with her drinks I noticed she had 2 beers in her hands, so I go "Oh! Look whose double fisting?"

Its funny because although she had this expression on her face like she felt uncomfortable or didn't want to talk to anybody, so immediately turned to me and started laughing hysterically, and then gave me a smile. Of course however, naturally she gets caught up into a flock of people moving through the bar and she got swiped away before I had a chance to start bantering with her.

So then the rest of my friends get there and they see a table in the VERY CORNER OF THE BAR. You can't get more secluded than that, and I was like omfg. So we needed chairs, and I was basically like "Alright, this is my chance to break away from them, I'll act like I'm getting chairs" I go out and start going to different tables asking if they were using all their chairs. A couple of them were full so when they would say no I would put on a smile and say something like "You selfish sons of..." and they would all laugh and say something back to me. Finally I found a chair at the other end of the bar and I had to carry it across the entire bar.

Thinking back it must have looking funny seeing this 5 ft dude carrying a chair across the bar, but I made it fun. I was passing by people and being like "I need a linemen" and stuff like that. So I bring the chair back and at this point I realize now I'm stuck at this table with these people I'm bored with, so the only time I'm going to get up and bs with people is when I get the drink. So a few times during the night I just kept either going to the bathroom or something like that.

At one point it was getting really crowded and me and this other tiny girl were trying to walk through. I turned to her and said "Stay strong, you'll make it!". She started laughing and said something like "Oh I know, its always like this, I'm here all the time". So I turned back to her with a smile and replied "So you're the bar drunk then? Cause you're that girl that's here all the time?" With a smile she started laughing and then smacked me in the arm.

Basically after that here and there I would go up and some dudes bought me a shot, but what ticked me off was at one point my buddy ran into 5 girls who like forced him to do a shot, and right when he had the chance to start something with any of them he bailed and said he had to go to the bathroom. Are you kidding me? Right there speaks volumes about my friends.

My friends don't like to go out, don't like to meet new people, try anything new, and are completely unmotivated to do anything, and I'm sick of it. They don't even want to move out of their parents house. The most fun I had last night was meeting completely new people, and what's sad is my friends are just props for me to go out. I wish I could just go out by myself and start building on something, because I'm definitely funny and socially competent enough to meet people on the fly like that.

Anyways, I understand that this might be a dissapointing post since I guess I didn't have any good flowing convos with any chicks, just a few openings that would've worked under the right circumstances. But this was basically my first night out fellas, considering I'm 6 months out of practice I was just happy that I was able to still use my humor and charm to meet anybody. Like I said there were people buying me shots even. Whatever, tonight is a new night.

 

[flint]

"Start me up" - Rolling Stones

Hey guys,

So here's the deal. I've made an entire list of goals I want to accomplish by the end of 2011. Some of them are financial, some are physical, spiritual, etc. One of my goals is to finally get a good handle on my women situation and my social life. As I was thinking about what I could do to accomplish this goal, I realized my goal wasn't really a measurable goal, so what I've done is decided to start following the DJ bootcamp excersizes so that I have soecific tasks that are measurable so that I can get closer to my goal. From now on I'll post every Sunday to let you guys know how everything is going.

This week I had to say hi to 50 strangers and focus on establishing eye contact. I have a few interesting take aways from doing this excersize, and I actually have a tangible positive result which has come from this.

Earlier in the week I was thinking "Oh come on its so easy to say hello to 50 people", but interestingly enough the first 15 were a little more difficult than I thought because I was breaking free of "the matrix" so to speak. People on a day to day basis seem to enjoy ignoring each other, or they feel uncomfortable around strangers.

To spice this week up a little so that I was extending my comfort zone, the two additional rules I made for myself were that these 50 hello's would need to be done in a situation where I was all by myself, in a place that I normally would not go to during the week, and the hello could not be to someone who works at the store or wherever I was since they are being paid to be nice to me.

So anyways back to the beginning of the week. I work full time so the time I get to do this is basically between 6:30 through 9:30pm during the week, and weekends. I've also decided to start on Mondays so that way I can try and make progress through the week, and then just plough through whatever I have left over the weekend since more people are out and about.

At the beginning of the week I felt weird saying hello to people with a smile on my face, and the first four were timid although I got it. Then I started really focusing on my eye contact at work and in social settings. What I realized was that almost 9 out of 10 people can't hold eye contact. If you look someone in the eye they literally can't even hold it which was somewhat suprising to me. I also realized that eye contact can be a huge tool to set the stage for attraction. In fact there was this one girl who I work with that I talk to a lot, and several times this week we have been in conversations where we have both literally been staring each other directly in the eyes for 20 minutes at a time with few interuptions. What's funny is that I suddenly began finding her attractive towards the end of the week! So it shows that this can go both ways too.

As the week progressed I began feeling more comfortable with it, and I even started engaging in small talk with people to spice it up a bit. I was at a starbucks at one point and as I was leaving I noticed this HB 8 walking towards the door, so I stopped, turned around, said hello, and then held the door open for her as I held eye contact. I got a really positive response from her, one that you usually wouldn't get and she seemed very enthusiastic about it. There was another girl behind her and I also held the door for her, she thanked me and I said with a smile "pshh I could get my license renewed before you walk in" and she started laughing.

Anyways the week goes on and I started getting really comfortable saying hello to hotter women and things like that. One of the key take aways to this is that I was also able to discover new places where hot women go to that I never noticed before. For example I saw this kiosk at the mall where they were recruiting models, and I thought to myself "wow next time I'm in the mall I can go here and there will be a ton of hot women walking right through here". Overall I think this week was good because it did boost my confidence a little, it did get me used to talking to strangers again, and most importantly it exposed opportunities that were not readily available before. For example I've never tried day game before but now that I've seen how many women are around without any competition in the area I think it could be great.


Alright, so that was week on of boot camp, so let's talk about a tangible result that I gained through doing this. On Friday night I went out to this club with a group of people. It was me, my other guy friend, and these 3 girls we went with. While we were at this club at one point I had to put my drink down at the bar, and I saw these 2 girls with huge racks, so rather than go around them I went right in the middle and put my drink down while I was dancing. As I put my drink down I was like "just dancin on through ladies". One of them was laughing and it looked like I could've talked to her but I wimped out. I thought about why and it was mostly because I was worried what my friends would think about me talking to this chick (she looked a little...promiscuous lets say) which is ridiculous. I shouldn't be worried about what my friends are thinking or other people when I'm doing this, but I'm still at the beginning.

So later that night I bring these 3 girls back to my house, and one of them sits next to me on the couch as I'm lounging. The other two girls stick around for a while and then they leave. As I'm sitting there I'm realizing "okay, if this girl next to me was completely uninterested in me she would leave because its 3:00am and we're all alone sitting on my couch". Anyways, we shoot the sh*t about how we had fun and stuff for maybe 20 minutes, and I start stroking her long blonde hair and sitting a lot closer to her, touching her a little bit more overtly and things like that. Now usually my sticking point is taking the plunge and going for it in this situations, but as I'm sitting there I realize "alright there is no way you can mess this up, and if you do just don't talk to her again". So I went in for the kiss, and we made out for like 5 minutes. I then convinced her to stay a little bit longer and we just kept making out but eventually she had to leave because she had to work the next day. Unfortunately I get the impression that I'm a really bad kisser since I'm really inexperienced still, but whatever, it was a confidence boost.


So overall, after this week my eye contact is solid, said hello to a total of 51 people in different settings than I would usually go to, exploited new places to meet women, trained myself to see opportunities to meet more women, and I even got a kiss close. Not too shabby.

Next week I need to have 10 two to ten minute conversations with various strangers, so its a little harder but I think as I keep going through this I'll get more numb to rejection and be able to take more bold actions with women as I approach.

 

[flint]

Alright so last night I went out and did a bunch of cold approaches. Somehow I actually got blown out all night but I was very confident and everything so it was a little weird.

I'm only going to summarize two of them because they are the ones I remember pretty well.

*Flint walks up to the bar next to two HB's. Looks at girl directly to the left of him and notices her drink if completely red*

Flint in a mocking/kidding tone: Hey, ya know if your drink has more than one fruit in it its called juice.

HB Laughs, Flint orders his drink and makes friends with the bar tender for five seconds

Flint: So other than the fact that you order juice at bars I noticed you have an accent.

HB explains that she is from Russia and here for a year. We go back and forth about what she likes about the USA and stuff. After about 10 minutes I realize that the longer this goes on the more of a chance I have of running out of stuff to talk about to keep it fun, so I ask for her number.

HB Russia: I can't, I don't give out numbers.

*I was actually really suprised here because I felt like we had a solid interaction*

Flint: Really? I don't talk to strangers at bars either but I figured why not.

HB still says no.

Flint: Well if it makes you feel any better we're not going to get married, and if you're here for a few months that will leave enough time between me looking at my fantastic looks in the mirror to hang out with you.

HB explains she just isn't giving her number out because she's staying with some family or some bs.

Anyways I know this looks like a pretty sad approach but it was an interesting conversation and I focused mostly on the end in explaining this because I remember the beginning and the end the most.


So I keep approaching, nothing special comes out of any of the conversations. Meet another girl from Portugal or something. Later in the night I realize I really need to expand my comfort zone, and pick a target that I would feel really nervous about going after. So on the side of the dancefloor there is this girl in a booth, and her friend is on the very other end texting on her phone. I realize this is a tough target because first of all I need to come up with a good reason to get into the booth, and secondly it has to be direct which is something I never do. But I notice she is an HB8 and I said alright I've got to at least try.

So I go up to the booth and luckily she was closer to the edge than I thought so I didn't need to jump in there.

*Flint plops empty beer bottle on girl's table*

Flint: So this is the recycling service right?

HB8 laughs: Not really but feel free to leave it here.

Flint: Hey at least I'm being nice right? Its not like I was asking you if you take trash or something.

HB8: *Laughs* no I don't think that would have been a great way to start.

*We have a little bit of fluffl conversation after this, I'm making her laugh and stuff but I forget how the middle went. Again after about 8 minutes or so I go for her number*

HB8 says something like: Well you're braver than me, I'm afraid of that sort of stuff.

Flint smiles: Well what's really brave is that I'm talking to a very attractive girl over here right now and everyone around your booth is watching me, but now I'm going to ask for your number too *puts on a smirk*

HB8 laughs: You know what, I really would but believe it or not I've been dating my boyfriend for 8 years *puts a sad look on her face*.

Flint smiles: Oh really? Well I've had a goldfish for 7 years now and my favorite part about him is that I could throw him away and get a cooler one in a heartbeat.

HB8 laughing hysterically: Oh really.

Now believe it or not after another 30 or 60 seconds of trying to overturn her rejection in a funny way, at this point I realize I've already thrown my cards on the table so I can almost say anything now, and I also realize this was a good approach but I got rejected, and that it was one of the first really direct ones I've ever done. So what did I do? I asked for feedback hahaha.

Flint *At this point I literally ask her*: Alright, well its been cool talking to you, but I have to ask how did I do?

HB8: Ya know what? You did really well. You were really funny, personable, and you're very confident.

After that my friend was actually ready to leave so he jumped in and was like "yo man we need to leave" so I said goodbye and left.


Anyways I know these probably sounded terrible because I mostly only remember the opening and then trying to overturn the rejections so it probably sounds like most of it was an uphill battle, but believe it or not I'm genuinely suprised I got burned by both of these girls. The HB8 blondey was a little less of a suprise because she looked like a tough target, but I was suprised I didn't close either of them.

At least I'm trying guys.

 

[flint]

Alright I've been approaching like a machine the past two weeks and I haven't had much time to post but you can take a look at that gladiators thread to see some of it.

Last night I went to a friend of mines birthday party and it was ridiculous. At one point I was walking by these girls on the dance floor and I felt like they were taking advantage of me, although I didn't mind

The one approach I do remember pretty well was there were these two girls standing on the side of the dance floor. Now I have to admit, the opener I used was an exact same copy of one I used on Friday night but it was funny so I used it again. The place was sort of a bar with a dancefloor and it was packed.

*Flint approaches two set of HB7s*: "Oh man. Man, my uncle came for lunch here and now I feel like he's Charlie Sheen or something".

*HBs laugh*

Flint: "I don't know why you guys are laughing you both look like you get breakfest here all the time."

HBs laughing. We have some small talk about how they go to a university nearby.

Flint: "So you guys are just rocking solo tonight?"

HB1: "Yeah I just broke up with my boyfriend".

Flint *Turns to HB2*: "See that? We just broke up and she's already going out trying to meet new guys. And the worst part is do you know why we broke up?"

HB2 laughs, kino: "No why?"

Flint: "Because she became a lesbian with you".

HBs laughing.

Basically after that I teased them that they were gay for each other and I didn't have a chance because they love women. I didn't end up getting their numbers but I was grinding on one of them the whole night and I was very persistent, but she just wasn't in the market.

Whatever. I got some other girl's number and I'm going to give her a call later this week. I've got two active numbers now so at least I'm beginning to get some options.

 

[neghitzbrah]

Flint... you're doin great man. This just goes to show that it's about how you talk.

I definitely feel you when you say that your friends are a bit anti-social. I have a couple of buddies who I hang out with sometimes. They met up with 3 other friends and myself. Us 4 have game and were talking the whole bar up similar to what you do every night. Anyways, when my 2 buddies met up they just stood sipping on their beer. At this point, I felt a bit of pity, but I wanted to help them. I introduced one of them to some HB's I met at the bar. Pulled the How I Met Your Mother, "Have you met ___?" My other buddy pussed out when I told him to follow me.

I wanna help these guys, but they were scared. I can't blame em. You know we were there at one point so it takes time.

You're doin great bro, keep it up!

 

[flint]

Alright guys for the last three weekends I've gathered 3 numbers. Now I know that's not a lot but I'm building up since I'm just getting back into this. Of the three numbers one was real but she never called me back after I left a message, another was some dude's number, and another was a disconnected number so I'm beginning to worry that maybe I'm not interpreting these approaches the way the are really going, because I didn't expect a flake from any of them.

Hopefully its just a numbers game and after getting 100 numbers or something I'll get a date...