Flint's Journey To Enlightenment - Field Journal

[flint]

Incase anyone noticed, yes I did start a journal earlier in the year. But it wasn't effective. And why wasn't it effective? Because I wasn't honest with you all. I felt embaressed spilling out my true situation, even to people who don't know me and will never meet me. In the end I didn't do myself justice by lying to myself and all of you about it, and I should have come clean about some things, so I'm starting a new journal, and this time YOU WILL notice major changes after a while.

First I want to discuss what I want to get out of doing this journal, and really in essence why I'm making this journal. Following that, I will tell you my "story" if you will.


Why I'm Starting This Journal

I already keep a journal of things that happen in my life which I reflect on, so it's not for that. It is my hope that two things will happen:

1) That I get feedback and a MAJOR KICK IN THE BUTT to get this part of my life settled by the members here. You're the professionals, and the best way to get good at something is getting advice from someone whose already good at it.

2) And that hopefully down the road I can serve as an inspiration for other members if I can get this handled. Eventually I would like to think that someone will read this, and say "Wow if he did it I have no excuses".

So as you can see a good ammount of the reason I'm making this journal is for your benefit as well as mine. I'm not doing this so that I can get a title like DJ or so I can get those green reputation things. I'm doing it for myself and for some of the readers so that if you're having a tough time right now you know you're not alone.


What I Want To Get Out Of This Journal

Well, I've done a lot of reading, I know and understand what I need to do, so it's time to do it. I had a realization over the summer that I feel has already sprung changes in my life. I realized that "It's Not Going To Just Get Better!"

There's so many guys out there (and I was one of them) who have crummy lives and say "Oh man, I guess I just got a bad shake in life. I wasn't born good looking, so I don't get girls. I wasn't born talented, so I can't get a great job. But maybe someday I'll get lucky".

And you know what? They sit there and wait. Guess what? IT'S NOT GOING TO GET BETTER. Einstein once said something to the effect that it's crazy to think that you will get different results by doing the same thing over and over again. So it's time I ramped things up a notch!

Anyone you see who is good at women, even naturals, have put in some work to getting good at it. It could be as simple as getting muscular at the gym, or learning how to become more humorous, or even putting in the work to create a social circle which promotes success with women. I gaurente you they've done something, they weren't just born being good with women. If they are good looking, they at least invested time to have the right style. And if they are popular, it's because they invested the time to create connections with people.

I hope to at some point during the course of this journal get to a point where I have a healthy social life, full of adventure and things to do every night of the week. I want a women (eventually) who I enjoy going on these adventures with. But more importantly, I realize that NONE OF THAT WILL HAPPEN UNTIL I'VE GOT MY OWN STUFF TOGETHER. In other words, I truly believe that having beautiful women will actually be the last thing to come from all of this. I believe that until I'm at a self-sufficient point where I have an exciting life all by myself, and am happy with that, only then will I truly master this part of my life.

So that's why this is a journal towards enlightenment, because this isn't just about getting good with women, this is about creating a life I DESERVE, AND SO DO ALL OF YOU.

I recently read a book preview of the game, and I was disgusted that so much of their "game" was based off of memorizing lines and canned approaches. I think it's cool to have a funny line you use in certain social situations, but they seemed to get to a point where everything was just scripted. Where's the fun in that? Why not get to a point where it doesn't have to be a script, and you're naturally just the awesome guy who everyone wants to be around?

So that's what I want out of this journal, next I'll talk about my story, what brought me here (the honest truth), and other things I find that might be useful for you to know.

 

[flint]

My Story

Alright, so you know what I'm here to do, you know why I'm doing it, so here's my story.

When I started my original journal which failed due to my lack of openness, I was ashamed and embaressed to tell you guys where I'm really coming from. I still am, and I hate even typing it here. I also had some sort of irrational fear that somehow somebody would read this stuff and figure out who I was in real life and destroy my life. Well, that's not going to happen, and hypothetically if it did I don't even really care anymore. I'm at a point where I'll do anything to change, so if I've got to ditch everyone I ever knew so be it, this is that important.

Here's a few things you need to know about me, to understand what brought me to this forum and why I'm doing this:

1) My Height I'm about 5' tall. I've struggled with my height my entire life. I used to walk around and when I would see my reflection in a building or something, I would just stand there and look at myself, sometimes for almost an hour at a time until someone thought I was strange. And then I began to ask myself something, I would say "Am I too short to ever have a girlfriend? Am I too short that people don't take me seriously?"

This almost destroyed me, and it wasn't until recently that I feel like I've truly got a hold over this. It still somewhat bothers me sometimes, but I'm numb to it at this point. If I see my reflection I think about it for maybe a second and just keep going about my business.


2) Lack of Experience

This is a biggie that I didn't want to share with any of you, but here it goes. I've never had a girlfriend, and I'm a 23 year old virgin. And furthermore, I've never kissed a girl, and in fact I've only tried to twice and they both happened in a span of the last 6 months or so.

That's right, I hate even typing this right now. But I wasn't honest before, and I need to come out with it. My biggest weakness isn't in holding a conversation, it isn't in being funny, being able to number close. My biggest weakness is I'm afraid to succeed.

Somehow it's easier for me to sit down after I fail to make a move with a girl and say "Well at least I could've had her" instead of actually having her. And this comes from the fact that for so long as I said about the short thing, I would just sit there and say that I couldn't get a girl, or that I wasn't deserving.

I realize now that that is bs, and that I've squandered most of my life away thinking this way, because when you think this way it doesn't just effect your life with women, it effects your entire life. You see yourself as inferior to everybody, and you begin to incur social anxiety disorder. Everytime I would go out, even just with my buddies, I started feeling like I was giving a huge speech because I was worried everyone thought I was wierd and inferior.

I know that this part sounds absurd to most of you (it's certainly absurd to me) but I hope some of you can understand how this could come about. Nobody ever sat me down and explained to me that you need to be proactive with your life. And many of the people I was surrounded with (my parents, even some childhood friends) brought me down. I've only recently forgiven myself for letting this happen, because I understand why it happened, and I think most of you could understand how something like that could happen too.


My Strengths

Somehow I'm amazing with people believe it or not. I'm an excellent public speaker, especially for my age. I have every ounce of confidence standing in front of a room of 100 people and giving the presentation of a lifetime. So to me, I find it somehow very odd that I can do something as daunting as that, but I couldn't muster the courage to kiss a girl. Ridiculous.

I'm also great at just conversing with strangers and building rapport in any setting. The elevator, running into someone at the mall, random people sitting near me at a bar, I have no problem talking to strangers.

I'm also very funny. Most people think I'm histerical. I do have some kind of aura that follows me around where I can walk into a room and have everyone laughing within a few minutes.

As far as my looks are concerned, I've done everything I can to switch up my style. I used to just sit around in sweat suits all day, had glasses, I weighed like 50 pounds heavier. Well I took the time to lose those 50 points, I got contacts, I started wearing way better quality clothing, etc. Coincidentally, this was the first change that came about but this happened to me like two years ago. I thought that just by changing my looks I could get more girls. And I did at one point have this fat chick kissing my neck on a couch somewhere, but I was even still too nervous to do anything with her, and dear lord I've got pride now why would I have. The point is though it's not enough just to look better.


My Weaknesses

Well, I'm 5' tall. There's nothing humanly possible I can do about that, but I finally accept that.

I've got tons of confidence in many areas with my life, and I'm building more with women slowly, but I'm still not completely there. Even when I get a very obvious IOI (one which I'll talk about in my first entry that happened last night) I still somewhat question myself.


So that's me in a nutshell guys. I hope that this wasn't too dragged out, but like I said I want you guys to know as much about me as I can so I can get the best advice, and a good kick in the butt when I begin doubting myself. And also, once I finally get there again I hope this serves as an inspiration to most of you out there, or at least is a pick me up for guys who are on their journey as well.

I'd appreciate feedback, and more importantly advice more than you can understand fellas. And even just someone who pops in to say "Hey man I messed up big time last night too, just keep truckin" means a lot to me.

Going forward I know I'm going to make tons of mistakes, and that I'm going to try to sabatage myself due to my fear of success, so anyone that can tell me to man the hell up will be helping me out.

Now onto my first entry!

 

[flint]

So this is an entry based on last night. I went to this party and there were a lot of hot girls there. I've been trying to get better at KINO, and I've actually just begun seeing how effective it is (or it seems effective anyways).

I was sitting with one of my friends at this table and at one point he tells me one of my pupils are larger than the other. As he says this this blonde is walking behind me.

I turned around and this is more or less what happened:


Flint: (Politely grabs her wrist to get her attention) Excuse me, my friend here tells me that one of my pupils is bigger than the other, is that true? (Pulls her in an inch from my face so she could see into my eyes)

HB 7: (Holding direct unflinching eye contact) Hmmm I don't see a difference.

Flint: (In a humorous manner, maintaining direct eye contact) I feel like you're looking deep into my soul. Our souls are doing a river dance between us do you feel that (motioning with my hand the limited space between us)

HB 7: (Smiles, still holding eye contact) I do, what's happening next?

Flint: (Eye contact, humorously) Now they're going on an adventure. They're gleefully walking through a field of daisies, frolicking everywhere.

HB 7: (Smiling staring deep into my eyes)

Flint: (Sweeps hand between our eyes like a magic show) And it's over, todo needs to go home, the dream is over.


Now as corny and as stupid as that sounds, the way I did it was funny, and as I said we were like an inch from each other's face. Afterwards I went hanging out with a bunch of my other friends. Before I was about to leave to go to another house party, she approached me.

HB 7: Well it was nice meeting you. Do you come here often?

Flint: Yup.

We banter about where she lives etc.

HB 7: Well maybe I'll see you around here again sometime?

Flint: Sure, it was nice meeting you.


Now, I didn't go for her number because some dude which I later found out was in fact her boyfriend was literally staring at me like the devil from across the room. He looked like he was gonna beat the heck out of me, I should've done it anyways but oh well.

Later I went to this other party and I was sitting on this couch next to this chick. We were both pretty drunk and she's talking about excersizing or something.

HB: My calf muscles are huge, feel that.

Flint: (Feels her calf muscles) They are (slides hand up into her inner thighs like in her crotch) Hey I thought your calf muscles were way up here? (smiling)

HB: (Giggles like a schoolgirl) Stooop!


Anyways those were the only two noteworthy things that happened as far as game last night. I think I've demonstrated that I kind of understand how KINO works and what to do with it. And I've obviously shown I can hold eye contact and such. I've just got to work on isolation and escalation now.

 

[flint]

This post covers this past Thursday to the end of the weekend.


Thursday Night

Essentially there's this girl that I've really liked for a long time now but couldn't hook up with (even though I've had incredibly obvious IOI's) because of reasons too complicated to explain in this post. But she has a boyfriend now, and I still get ridiculous IOI's.

On Thursday night at a party I ended up in her room alone. I can't even remember how it happened but I put my arm around her, threw us back on the bed, straddled her and just kiss closed.

And this is important to mention, that was my first official kiss. As you guys have seen in the introduction, I had never kissed a girl even though I'm ridiculously old. But yes I kiss closed her. While we were making out I started saying something about her needing to ditch her bf or something though because I had feelings for her. She even mentioned his name and asked what if he came and saw us.

Anyways, I'm continuing to escalate with her and I ended up fingering her through her pants a bit, and then finally enough people saw us that we had to stop (should've just shut the door and kept my mouth shut). So that was my first kiss experience and later that night the chick slept with her bf again, so whatever moving on.


Friday Night

On Friday I went to my friend's house and commiserated with him about the situation because I felt like dirt.


Saturday Night

Saturday night I went to another big party and was flirting with this chick me and my group of friends met like 2 weeks ago big time. She was also reciprocating the flirting. I was also being ****y and kind of a jerk to her. All of my other guy friends were being nice and trying to compliment her and stuff, meanwhile I'd say stuff like "If you're lucky we'll hang out sometime". We end up getting back to my friend's house and they all leave me and her alone on this couch for what felt like an hour. I got her to sit next to me on the couch and had my arm around her for a long time. I knew during this moment I should go for a kiss close because I had the perfect opportunity, but I wasn't going for it. Something was just stopping me from moving in, the fear of making a move.

Towards the end of the night she got onto the other couch and my friend (who was also working on her but gave up because he told our friend my game was too tight) gave her blankets. At this point I began thinking about how much I was going to be kicking myself for not even trying for a kiss close if I didn't do something before the night was over. So I got up to go to the bathroom and when I got back to the room I went up to her while she was lying on the couch and got really close to her face.

I asked "Hey you okay, you got everything?". She replied yes, so I just went in for a kiss. I kissed her for maybe 5 seconds or so, and then I pulled back. I looked at her face and she had a really cute smile about it. Then I went to bed.


Earlier Today

So today I texted the girl from saturday night that I kiss closed. I made a post about this earlier on this forum. Essentially I asked if she was doing anything on Wednesday to which she said she had no idea what she was doing yet and asked me why. I then asked her if she wanted to grab some food and some drinks after she got off of work that night. She told me maybe and that she would definitely let me know.

Overall the way I assess this situation is that she must not be too interested if she literally has nothing planned for Wednesday but only gives me a maybe.


Conclusion

There were some great things that happened this weekend and yet some things that have shown me I still have more to learn. First off, until this weekend I had never kissed a girl, and I kiss closed two of them in this one weekend. That is obviously a huge improvement, and more importantly than that I've begun to push my limits. Usually my biggest thing has been fear of making a move, and I did so twice successfully this weekend.

What I realized however is how little a kiss close really is. I used to have the impression that you were like 3/4 in the sack if you could get a kiss, and I realized that is far from the truth. I mean I always knew that getting a number didn't really mean anything but I thought at least a kiss close hinted at some sort of attraction.

Overall good weekend, I feel like I've really shown my committment to doing this by forcing myself to make my moves and face my fears head on. I think with the chick from Saturday night I'm not going to contact her again whatsoever, it's her turn to either offer another night to go out or to get going. But even if she offered for me to go out with her another night I already know she doesn't really have anything going on the night I asked her and she still gave me a maybe, so that's probably just over.

Anyways cheers and I hope that as I continue pushing my limits these stories will get juicier/more interesting. But truth be told I didn't expect that literally the first entry I made would be excelling at eye contact and Kino, and then jumping right to kiss closes. I could only hope to keep making such progress hah!

 

[ATX1001]

Hey dude, great progress so far... keep it up and you'll be laid in no time.

 

[macallik]

good stuff man. Journals are hard because you want people to get input from others but you don't wanna look like you don't know what you are doing to all of sosuave either. I think it'll help to just be straightforward coz you have a clear conscience and in the long run people can see what you are doing wrong that you might not have notice and can help you out.

Personally, I think that the kisses you've gotten so far were much closer to sex then you think. There are varying degrees of kisses in my opinion and they don't all lead to sex, but a kiss on a couch or a kiss in a bedroom are WAAAAY more likely to lead to something than kissing some broad on the dancefloor. At the club, you have to somehow get a likely drunk chick somewhere she feels safe and relaxed (or convince her to sneak into the bathroom for a quickie) whereas on the couch or in a room, you just gotta tell em to lay down and open their legs.

Oh and other thing... don't write off the Saturday chick too soon. I know you don't want to come off as AFC but remember that there is a difference between being desperate and being persistent.

 

[flint]

Thanks for the input guys you literally don't know how much it means to even have guys on the internet give me a solid push. You've seen how far I need to go just based on the intro so it's much appreciated. I also think I was very close to f closing the girl from Thursday, if I kept my mouth shut and shut the door it would've been over, but again that girl I kinda like and the bf turned me off to it.

Overall though I have to say I didn't expect that I'd even be posting my first kiss close for another up to like 20 entries, I'm still shocked that I did it twice after the first entry.

 

[Solomon]

So this is an entry based on last night. I went to this party and there were a lot of hot girls there. I've been trying to get better at KINO, and I've actually just begun seeing how effective it is (or it seems effective anyways).

I was sitting with one of my friends at this table and at one point he tells me one of my pupils are larger than the other. As he says this this blonde is walking behind me.

I turned around and this is more or less what happened:


Flint: (Politely grabs her wrist to get her attention) Excuse me, my friend here tells me that one of my pupils is bigger than the other, is that true? (Pulls her in an inch from my face so she could see into my eyes)

HB 7: (Holding direct unflinching eye contact) Hmmm I don't see a difference.

Flint: (In a humorous manner, maintaining direct eye contact) I feel like you're looking deep into my soul. Our souls are doing a river dance between us do you feel that (motioning with my hand the limited space between us)

HB 7: (Smiles, still holding eye contact) I do, what's happening next?

Flint: (Eye contact, humorously) Now they're going on an adventure. They're gleefully walking through a field of daisies, frolicking everywhere.

HB 7: (Smiling staring deep into my eyes)

Flint: (Sweeps hand between our eyes like a magic show) And it's over, todo needs to go home, the dream is over.


Now as corny and as stupid as that sounds, the way I did it was funny, and as I said we were like an inch from each other's face. Afterwards I went hanging out with a bunch of my other friends. Before I was about to leave to go to another house party, she approached me.

HB 7: Well it was nice meeting you. Do you come here often?

Flint: Yup.

We banter about where she lives etc.

HB 7: Well maybe I'll see you around here again sometime?

Flint: Sure, it was nice meeting you.


Now, I didn't go for her number because some dude which I later found out was in fact her boyfriend was literally staring at me like the devil from across the room. He looked like he was gonna beat the heck out of me, I should've done it anyways but oh well.

Later I went to this other party and I was sitting on this couch next to this chick. We were both pretty drunk and she's talking about excersizing or something.

HB: My calf muscles are huge, feel that.

Flint: (Feels her calf muscles) They are (slides hand up into her inner thighs like in her crotch) Hey I thought your calf muscles were way up here? (smiling)

HB: (Giggles like a schoolgirl) Stooop!


Anyways those were the only two noteworthy things that happened as far as game last night. I think I've demonstrated that I kind of understand how KINO works and what to do with it. And I've obviously shown I can hold eye contact and such. I've just got to work on isolation and escalation now.

Nice I like this....something different that's what girls want, to go on a journey, very original....

Thanks for the input guys you literally don't know how much it means to even have guys on the internet give me a solid push. You've seen how far I need to go just based on the intro so it's much appreciated. I also think I was very close to f closing the girl from Thursday, if I kept my mouth shut and shut the door it would've been over, but again that girl I kinda like and the bf turned me off to it.

Overall though I have to say I didn't expect that I'd even be posting my first kiss close for another up to like 20 entries, I'm still shocked that I did it twice after the first entry.

Once you get a handle on this, you will be kissing girls on a nightly basis mate

 

[flint]

Alright so first I'm going to talk about a number close I got from the other day/IOI's and then a few reflections.

There's this girl who I've worked with for over 5 years at a part-time job who I never talked to really. For the longest time she was just an acquantance or whatever. However for the last few months during our break she would come to the same area as me, and as I've mentioned to you guys before I'm very funny. I would have everyone at work laughing histerically and be full of energey.

The first time she came down there the break room was my crowd, as if they were my followers or my crowd listening to my comedy routine. And I remember as I left the room and turned the corner I could hear her asking a few of her friends "Hey what's his name again?". Now sure that means I never left an impression for the last 5 years but it also means she took notice and was interested for the first time too.

For the last few weeks everytime I run into this chick I'll notice if I'm walking by her she'll turn to look at me out of the corner of her eye and give me this cute smile. I took this as an IOI.

Anyways last night was my last night working there and I went to get her number, to which she replied "I'll only give it to you if you promise to use it". Again took that as an IOI.


I Need To Step It Up

Okay so now that I got the actual nuts and bolts part of this entry over with, in other words stuff happening in the field, I'll talk about what I need to do and how I'm feeling about this whole thing in general.

First off I realized that I need to be pulling way more numbers so I have way more options than I'm currently getting. The reason why is because as it's been so far I'm noticing that once I get a girl's number, I'll be totally focused on that girl in particular since it's my only number, and try to get her to do something with me. And then if she flakes or something it's devastating since it's my only target.

I'm realizing that I need to be having at least like 5 targets a week, that way if I mess up with one it's not a problem because I've got plenty other options. Coincidentally I act like I have the options around chicks and make them prove themselves to me, but I also realize until that's actually true, internally I'll be taking a beating everytime it doesn't work out.


Feeling Kind of Down But Still Motivated

Last thing I want to talk about, and this stems back from the last heading, I've been kind of feeling a little low the past couple of days. For starters the girl from Thursday meant a lot to me, and although I could've F closed I didn't because she meant that much. I guess that's what you guys refer to as Onitis. I've been going back wondering whether I should've at least just F closed and bounced, just to get my first F close over with and maybe it would've helped with her bf situation, but my good friends keep reminding me she's not worth it and I need to get that through my head.

Secondly as you saw from the Saturday night girl, I got a maybe for last night even though she wasn't doing anything, and she hasn't even texted me since even though I got a kiss close. As I said before to you guys I always thought the Kiss close was a solid sign of attraction so I guess not. I'm not sure if I should next this girl only because as with the Thursday night girl, I had known the Thursday night girl for a solid year where I got mixed signals in terms of what she was saying, but I always noticed her body language and eye contact was right in line with attraction. The girl from Saturday didn't get back to me, but I kiss closed her and prior to that I was getting IOI's all night. I think I should just hang out with her in some casual setting one more time, even with my other friends just to get a feel for her body language and whether she's still giving me those IOI's. You can't base a girl's attraction on what she says, it's on her behavior, and if I'm still getting positive behavior I think I'm still in the game.

Finally I'm just suprised about this whole thing. I thought that once I got my first kiss close I was going to come on here and be like I'M THE MAN and pumped up. But on the contrary, I got two in one weekend and I'm a bit frustrated instead.


This Coming Weekend

Okay so for this coming weekend I need to make it a goal to PULL SOME NUMBERS. This journal somewhat serves as a motivation for me to do that because it gives me material to write on here, and I believe the more entries I'm writing the more I must be escalating!

So I know this is a step back from the kiss close, but I think I need to somewhat go back to the basics and just pull a bunch of numbers this weekend. Girls give out their number for all sorts of reasons, it doesn't mean they're interested at all so I need to just pull a bunch of them so that I've got a few to bite for the following week.

I'll let you all know how the weekend goes!

 

[flint]

Alright guys so last night was a pretty ridiculous night. We went to a club in this city and it was bumpin.

I have to make a note here that there were tons of very attractive women in this club and I didn't play nearly enough game with them, but the main reason for that is because I don't do my best at clubs. I shine when I get a chance to talk, so I usually do better at bars because while there is a lot of music I'll get a chance to talk t the strangers next to me or something like that. If I get to demonstrate my superior people skills that's when I really light up, but at a club it's so loud and all you're doing is dancing (I don't like dancing and I stink at it). Neither is better, it's just a preferance, so that's to start this out.

Anyways night starts off with me my buddies and a few girls we went off with just partying by ourselves, minding our own business. Eventually we go upstairs and grab a seat right next to the dance floor (which is covered in 9's!!!!!!). We were sitting on this big couch that formed a semi circle, and there was a table in the middle.

I was sitting second to last on the left, so my buddy, we'll call him Giant (cause he's tall as heck) is to the left of me, and to the left of him there's a few open seats on the couch. So this huge pack of girls swarm near the left side of the couch and eventually they all start cramming in and sitting next to us.

I didn't open them at first, I let my buddy Giant do it because the music was very loud. If I was sitting right next to them I would've but it was just tough with the music. He starts talking to them and since he's not that good at talking to strangers in general he was just very boring, saying things like "Oh where do you live" blah blah blah. Eventually I couldn't take it so I jumped in.

Flint: "Excuse me ladies, do you have a pass to sit in the V.I.P. section?"

HB 9 (looks at friend, laughs then back at me): "This is supposed to be the V.I.P. section?"

Flint (Pops collar): "You know! And by the way I'll be needing that extra head room after we're all done getting blackout"

Girls laugh.


Anyways in the end they gave me a nice meeting you and went off. Should've gotten their phone number. Eventually these two other girls sat with us too because they went to high school with my friend (We'll call him glasses) who is probably the worst out of all of us (I know I'm a virg but trust me if you saw him in action...). Not much happens with that, one of the girls was way too tall for me and the other had a baby or something so I didn't even bother.

Afterwards we go back to the dance floor and watch a concert which was awesome. I just kind of sat back and enjoyed the music, like I said dancing isn't my thing so I just kind of nodded my head and enjoyed my beer.

Later Giant had to go home and he was our ride, so I had to figure out if we had another ride or not. I went towards the entrance/exit of the club where I saw this short brunet with a red jacket on, she looked kind of cute. Like a moron I didn't bring my coat and it was freezing, so that's what I used to open.

Flint: "Nice you weren't a moron like me, you wore a jacket. Now I'm gonna get Swine Flu".

HB 7(Laughs, comes close): "It's not that thick."

Flint (Lifts shirt a bit): "It's better than this!"

HB 7(Laughs): "That's true".

Flint (Arm around HB): "So is this the club to be at, I usually don't come out around here that often".

There was a lot of KINO after that for the rest of the conversation. Just as I was about to ask for her number, this guy walks in. The HB introduces me to him, apparently he was the drummer for one of the bands, and her boyfriend. Now I know that usually you get worried to number close because of irrational fears, but legitimately that would've been terrible timing LOL.

So we go back to listening to the music, eventually I grabbed a hot dog with everything on it which was awesome, and went back in. As I go in I see my friend GLASSES is trying to hit on this short brunette. I can't even explain it but just watching their conversation was pitiful. I could tll he was talking about really mundane things, she looked bored and like the only reason she was talking to him was because he was drunk.

As I was watching this I was literally sitting in a chair drinking my beer. A few seconds later our eyes meet, and while glasses is talking to her I literally just lift my index finger and motion for her to come to me. She did.

I noticed she walked to me rather casually/non energetic so I busted on her right off the bat.

Flint: "God you took forever to walk over here. If you took any longer I would've already been blackout drunk and this would've never happened."

HB 8 (Laughs): "Well I'm not in the best condition right now".

Flint (Raises glass of beer): "I'm in stunning condition right now".

GLASSES jumps in: "Hey man I invited her over to party with us later".

Flint (Inspects her carefully): "I mean I don't even know her name yet. Sorry but you're being too forward, what's your name"

HB 8 (Look of shock on her face/laughing): "I'm....You should be nicer"

Flint (Smirk on face dusts off shoulder): "I mean this is the best it's going to get but if we're hanging out later you'll learn. If you don't like it we can take this outside (stands like a foot in front of her face like I want a fight).

HB 8 (Laughing histerically).

Flint: "Alright what's your number if I've got to deal with you all night."

HB gives number, I eject after some more convo.


Okay so that was that exchange. Here's the funny part, GLASSES didn't get her number, and when we were ready to leave he was searching the club for her. When we got back I called her but her sis picked up. Her sis was like "Yo she's sleeping, you shouldn't be calling her this is terrible".

Later that night HB Thursday (read last post for update on who that is) was all over me. Again, I could've closed her but instead I B*tched her out because she has a boyfriend. I think she's angry at me. I realized today I should probably just F close, no strings attatched. I'm being a chode by not f closing her.

Finally this afternoon I get a phone call from a mysterious number. I'm very confused, but I pick up.

Turns out it was the girl who I number closed last night. Our exchange went like this:

HB 8: "Sister says that you told her we were doing more than kissing, did you say that?"

Flint: "First off if we did you would've remembered, but then again my roofies have a punch to them so ya never know"

HB 8 (laughs)


Conclusion

HB who I number closed invited me to see a concert tonight. I also noticed she was trying to prove herself to me because when I said she was pretty hammered she was like "Oh no I don't get like that often, I hope you don't think that of me".

I'm thinking about going. Funny part is that I told GLASSES she called me, and he's trying to convince me to bring her to his house. First off, she lives closer to me than him, she's coming to mine unless the concert is closer to his. But even if I do, I number closed, she called me back with what sounded like just an excuse to call me, and she invited me not him to the concert.

I'll let you guys know how things shape up.


As always feedback would be great, I'd like to know what you thought I was doing well and what I need work on.

 

[flint]

Okay so a few updates on the HB's I've been working on.

Tomorrow night is going to be just number hunting. I'm going to this bar with a click of my friends, I'm hoping there are plenty of sets to open where we're going since I haven't been there yet.

So the HB I kiss closed last saturday (Who from now on is known as HB waitress) and I hung out a little bit this past saturday.

A very strange phenomenon happened. Last saturday she was INCRECIBLY receptive to all of my negs/busting on her. I was quicker on my feet than her, and she saw hanging out with me and my friends as the prize.

When I went in to visit her at work however, she all of the sudden got a Tongue ring (which she DIDN'T have the week before), and she was busting on me the whole time. A few of the sh*t tests she gave me that I remember were:

(After knocking her for being a lightweight)

HB Wait: Well you're just creepy, that means you pay attention to whenever I'm passing out.

(After knocking another of my friends)

HB: You haven't scared me off yet but you're close.

(After some other sh*t test)

HB: I only keep looking at him because he's hideous.


Now, I realize that some of those sound pretty nasty but they're also taken out of context, and she had a smile on her face the entire time. I was busting on her poor waitressing skills saying things like:

Flint: You're quick on your feet but not with your hands, it took you forever to get my beer.

But yeah she was coming at me pretty brutally.

About part way through our interaction though she invited me to a party her sister was throwing, and I told her I couldn't make it because it was far away. I'll hang with her next weekend or something I guess, but yeah it was wierd because it's like she stepped her game up. And the tongue ring...wow.


Tonight I'm chilling with the HB from Thursday that I met at the club...and her sister. They're sharing the same phone, and for some reason the sister has been picking up more than her.

I was supposed to meet up with them last night but I couldn't make it. I tried calling them at 9ish but they wouldn't pick up, and then they got back to me at 10:00. They were asking what I was doing and telling me to come chill but I couldn't, and told them we would hang out tonight instead.

Anyways, I call again and the sister picks up and calls me her pet or something, and gives me tons of sh*t tests. I held my own but it was rough. I'm meeting up with them around 10:30 but I'm honestly half expecting a flake now because of this. Either that or because yesterday I was breaking chops on her she's giving it back to me now in a friendly way (she said she was being sarcastic).

Therefore what I think I'm going to do is I'm going to this bar I'm supposed to meet them at anyways. If they don't show up, I'm going to use this as an excuse to practice going out solo. I've always said I want to be more comfortable being able to go out by myself, so I might as well get use out of this. And if they do show up whatever.

But anyways tomorrow I need to get more numbers so I can keep practicing going out regardless. I've still got two more numbers to call on but one of them is only if I go to visit friends (waitress) and the other is a co-worker and I feel a little wierd calling her since we've never hung out in like 5 years.

 

[Thatsalotoffish]

Hey dude read all your posts and I have to say I am impressed with what you have managed to do.

To finally pull a girl is great but to do it like twice in one week? Brilliant man, all I have to say is dont worry about still being a virgin, its no biggy at all imo, honest! Like its much easier than you think it would be, like you wont have any problem when your time finally comes.

A thing i noticed though when reading was your idea of pullin, like you thinkin its seals the deal. In my opinion it doesnt really matter, I have pulled plenty of girls and its meant nothing at all, like to pull is nothing to most people cause its such a common normal thing. So dont be thinkin you got the case closed when you pulled, you gotta step your game up even more then and give them a reason to go even further, like try and get them somewhere more secluded, if you cant just get the number and attempt to arrange a meeting. Cause you might as well get a number and text cause honestly... whats the worst that could happen.

I am gonna keep reading your journal man, and offer advice along the way, I am no way a great ladies man but I consider myself pretty good.

 

[flint]

Woohoo my first flake!

Alright so it's 10:34pm where I am here and I've officially gotten my first flake. It was from that chick from Thursday night.

I'm actually really confused about the whole situation, I'll kind of spell out what happened between my interation with this girl.

As you can see I was ****y, funny, confident and everything when I got her number on Thursday.


Yesterday

Yesterday I called her and her sister who I had talked to before her picked up the phone because they're sharing phones. Anyways when I talked to her sister on the phone I quickly gained rapport with her by talking about how I want to play with her iPhone and stuff.

Eventually I asked her to ask her sister if she would want to get drinks at this bar that's close between our two towns, and I invited the sister too. My buddy who just got home was going to wing man me for the sister.

So last night comes, and I called them back around 9:00pm or something and they just weren't picking up their phone. At this point last night I assumed they were flaking on me. So I sent a text message to them saying that I wouldn't be able to make it and we could do it tomorrow instead but I had to do something else.

I end up getting a text back and at first all it says is "okay cool" at 10:00pm last night.

Literally 1 minute later I get a text that says "What are you doing tonight". So I reply that I was in another town but I'd definitely hang out with them tomorrow. I mean the problem is they hadn't picked up the phone at like 9sh to make this happen so I was already assuming they were flaking on me.

20 Minutes after that I get a text saying "Come hang out with us", to which I replied that I couldn't and I would tomorrow night.

Now, at first I thought they were flaking, but I figured if they/she were totally uninterested then why would they have even taken the effort to text me and stay in touch with me. At least that's what I was thinking.


Today

I sent a text around 3:30pm saying that I was going to be around tonight and that I would call them around 10 so we could coordinate. They don't respond, so I called them and the sister picked up. I was getting all kinds of sh*t tests from her, and she seemed a little nasty to me, calling me her pet and stuff, but she assured me she was just being sarcastic.

Around 8:00pm I get a text back from them saying "okay cool" which was in response to the text I sent around 3:30.

So I called at 10:00pm, no answer, left a text saying to tell me when they were leaving, and called again around 10:30pm. Total flake.


Reflection

Alright so I'm not taking this that badly, this is my first legitimate flake. I'm thinking about this from two mindsets.

On the one hand I'm thinking I deserve this since I basically flaked on them last night. I'm also wondering what's going on because honestly this chick literally could've just not replied to me, and she called me first mind you. Also with their cell situation I don't know what the deal is.

On the other hand I'm not sure if I should count this as a strike or just cut them now. I did flake on them last night so I think what I'm going to do is toss a text saying I'm sorry I ditched them last night and for them to get in touch with me if they want to do something later in the week. But at this point I think it's up to them to get back to me after that.


Anyways, yesterday they were all about meeting up with them but they wouldn't get back to me until like 10pm and I made other plans assuming they were already faking. So I'm part beating myself up about this because I feel like I shouldn't have done that, but on the other hand they can't just call me on a whim and have me be there, so whatever.

So yes, I've received my first flake. It definitely sucks, but in a sense I see it as improvement. I mean this time last year I wasn't even pulling numbers to get flaked on, nevermind having them actually seem somewhat interested in hanging out with me. So whatever.


Oh, and a side note my mom just asked me if I was going out (after I'm dressed up in a nice t-shirt, contacts, etc.) so it felt kind of annoying to tell her I wasn't/embaressing, but whatever. Tomorrow I'm going to a bar, got to pull some numbers.


Edit Okay after thinking about this for another second, they got my text message asking when they were going to leave, so I don't need to appologize for the night before because if they were interested at all they'll apologize for tonight. F it I don't need to beg.

Edit 2 One last thing I want to point out is that in one sense I guess this is good for me (although it stinks) because I hear from many of the DJ's here that you don't get good at this until you've been rejected to the point that you're numb. So no more high expectations, I've got to plan I'm going to fail more from now on and just try to have fun with it.

 

[flint]

So little update, I get a text from her at 1:20am saying "sorry I passed out, we'll have to do something another day".

Psh, I'm going out tonight...NEXT lol

 

[flint]

Okay I haven't made an update to this in a few weeks and there's a few reasons. Other than the fact that it was just Xmas and the holidays made me busy, I also was in a car accident and now I'm on crutches. Not a big deal in terms of I didn't get that hurt, but yeah I'll be on them for another few weeks or so.

The reason I bring this up is because irrespective last night I went out to a bar with my buddy on these crutches. I decided I would go out anyways because I thought it might be a good excersize. In other words, my thought process was that "If I can have the nuts to go approaching on crutches then I'll be set once I'm off of them."

It was so packed we couldn't get to the bar easily. Because of this me and my friend were standing behind these 2 HB 9 chicks and I asked one of them to order me a few beers, and then gave them the money. I was also joking about what they were drinking or something.

Now here's the point, at this point I would've usually asked for their names and started talking to them, but because of the crutches I just felt sort of awkward even being there. It utterly killed my game, and I just felt embaressed, and I don't know why. After leaving I felt bad that I didn't go for any numbers, not because I wanted the results but because I wasn't pushing my limits.

So anyways that's what's been happening and I don't think I'm going to seriously go approaching again until I'm off them. I know it's all in my head but I just feel wierd doing it while on these things.


I Care Too Much

Last thing I'm just going to mention is that I realized this weekend that I care too much about getting good with girls, and I realize that is the last thing holding me back really. I don't have approach anxiety really (except for with these crutches), and I'm good at being funny and maintaining conversation, etc. I've gotten better at escalating, and as you guys see from a few entries ago I was starting to k close.

My biggest problem I now realize is that I'm caring too much about getting good at this. In other words, it does still bother me that I've never had a gf etc. I need to get to a point where I literally could care less about getting girls, laid, etc.

I said in the begining of this journal that I truly believe that success with women will be the last thing to come from all of these changes I'm making. But I think the biggest roadblock I'm hitting right now is that I still care what other people think about me. In other words, when I go approaching women I should be doing it come from a place of she looks fun to talk to, not okay I've got to get her number, and what's something funny I can say.

I'm a real fun guy but I still feel like when I'm approaching I'm looking to get something out of it, but in reality it just needs to be something I do naturally because it would be fun. And this extends to everyone I know. I still get this feeling like I want to get good at this to "show people" I can do it, and that I'm Mr. Popular or something. But what I need to be doing is approaching out of my own amusement, not for any other reason.

So my goal for 2010 is to get to a point where I could care less what other people think of me. I want to be at a point where whenever I talk to anyone, I'm doing it to have fun. I don't want to go out with the feeling that I'm going out to get numbers. When I walk into a place and see a hot chick, I want to be at a point where I'm approaching her because I noticed something that made her look fun to talk to, and get her number if the impression I got remained true, not with the thought of "Oh she's hot I should try and get her number".

Overall by this time next year I want to feel like everything I'm doing is for my own fun, not for results I'm getting or what others think.

 

[flint]

He's Back

Alright guys so just to recap, I took a little break from approaching because I was on crutches for a while. While it doesn't mean I couldn't approach, I just thought it would be wierd to be gaming while on crutches, plus it's another barrier I'd have to get over even though I'm just starting. While I'm still limping a little bit, I am able to walk around in clubs and bars and stuff so I'm slowly getting my feet wet and just approaching.

Last night was my first real night out back on the scene. I went out with a life long friend of mine approaching, and it turns out the guy I was with was a great wing because he was good at dealing with c*ck blocks and barriers, and he also was good at talking me up to people.

Anyways, we get to this bar and take a seat front and center of it. While the bar was pretty much empty there was this three set directly to the left of us. There was some dude sitting directly to the left of me, to the left of him there was an HB 8, and left of her was an HB 7 red head.

Me and my buddy were talking for a little bit because I hadn't seen him for a while, and then he got up to go to the bathroom. Once he went to the bathroom I realized this was a perfect time to open the set, and that I should start with the dude because if he thought we were cool the girls would be down to talk to us. I opened as follows:

Flint *taps dude on shoulder*: Hey man what beer you drinking?
Random Dude: Oh it's....

So we start bsing about beers for a while and I'm making him laugh and stuff. At this point I notice the red head is giving me eye contact from 3 seats down and I get a refreshing feeling that I'm doing the right things since I hadn't approached in over a month.

My buddy comes back and by this point the girls introduce themselves, and we introduce ourselves.

While the HB 8 seemed somewhat disinterested (or just quiet), the red head was definitely flaring IOI's. At one point we both got up to go to the bathroom at the same time, and we ended up leaving the bathroom at the same time. When I saw her we had a little exchange. She started walking back to the bar without talking to me so I started teasing her:

Flint: Oh, I see how it's gonna be. We're not on talking terms anymore.
HB 7 Laughs: Haha nono it's not like that.
Flint (flexes muscles): Hey you know what? If you wanna just take this outside I'll go.
HB 7: Oh yeah? I can definitely take you.
Flint (kino): Look, I'm not afraid or anything but I just don't feel like sending people to the hospital tonight, lets just sit down and have some drinks.

Lots of eye contact and smiling during the exchange. Anyways this is where I messed up the set. I ended up sitting where I was again at the begining of the night, when I should have grabbed a seat next to her and continued our teasing conversation while my buddy kept talking to the rest of them. Because of this I was just conversing with the whole set when I could have already had isolation.

Eventually my buddy stands close to the red head and me and him are both talking to her but I notice she's giving him more eye contact than me at this point. My friend ended up asking her if she wanted to do something after the bar closes before I could get her number or anything, and when we all had to split I was about to go for her number anyways (since they knew my friend was leaving) but I just didn't because I feel like she was into my buddy more than me at this point.

I don't know, perhaps I should've just gone for her number anyways regardless of my friend since he was leaving anyways.

Anyways overall the point is that this was my first approach in months, and it went well. I'm going to try and start doing more cold approaches now but slowly get my feet wet since I'm still limping. I'll start with one or two a night and build it up from there.

 

[flint]

Am I doing it?

Alright I haven't made an update to this journal in a while because I've been so busy the last few weeks and have had little time. So this journal is going to be a brief update on what's been going on in the field, with a little more detail on last night.

Anyways, first off I ended up landing a job (and a pretty good one in fact). This alone boosted my confidence ten fold because almost everyone I know my age is having difficulties finding a job, and even if they do (which is very few) they aren't doing as well as I am out of the gate. I'm not saying this to brag, I'm merely mentioning this to explain my sudden boost of confidence in every aspect of my life.


Two weekends ago

In the past few weeks I've been up to visit my old school a few times to go to some house parties. A couple of weeks ago when I walked into the house which I hadn't been to in a while because of work, the party literally stopped for me and all of the girls came in the greet me like I was a rock star. Maybe it's something about the way I came in (dressed nicer than usual, I've had a bit more swagger in my walk and stuff) but I never got treated like that. I used to try and talk and people would cut me off because it wasn't "important". weird.

Anyways later on in the night I was literally just sitting next to the beerpong table and being social, I was making people laugh a lot (because I'm used to schmoozing now at work) and literally in the middle of my conversation this girl cut through the circle of people I was talking to and just kissed me because she had just gotten back from the bar. I wish I could explain why she did and what I'm doing differently but I think I've just become more social than I used to be, I don't know but yeah she gave me a lot of social proof for that.

Later in the night I passed out on a couch at like 2am because I was tired from work. Meanwhile a bunch of people were playing strip pong. A little after I passed out the same girl who kissed me before put her hands down my shirt to feel my chest and said "Look at you you man, you've got such a hairy chest and a job now" and then she just started making out with me while I was lying down.

Unfortunately I was so drunk at this point (drinking jager all night) that I wasn't able to do anything, I was barely awake even. But even minus her all of the girls were really receptive to me. When I'd walk into a conversation it's like everybody's eyes turned on me and I was the focal point.


Last Weekend

Last weekend was the same deal. I went to the house, and again everybody freaked out when I walked in like it was a welcome surprise. I was very social all night, had a beer in my hand with a laid back posture all night. A few girls begged me to motor boat them, which I did when after I was pretty drunk later in the night. At one point I was in the stair well and this goth chick was giving me lots of eye contact, and I could tell she was kind of into me because she could've gone off to chill with her girlfriends but she was hanging around me. Towards the end of the night I was sitting in a chair and she was leaving to go meet up with her boyfriend. As she moved in to kiss me on the cheek I grabbed her cheeks with my hands and kiss closed her for a while. Then she sat on my lap and we were talking for a few seconds and her boyfriend came in. She got up and we acted like nothing happened, and I even started talking to him like I was mr. friendly.


Last Night

So last night I went out with these two guys around my home and this girl we're friends with. My guy friends wanted to do something different and go to a place with tons of girls, so we did. And there were a ton of girls there. As soon as we walked in I felt in the zone because it was blasting music and I loved the atmosphere. Everyone was dancing it was great.

I danced my way through the dance floor to the bar and every so often I was throw a fist pump, and at one point a group of girls cheered for me. As I got up to the bar there was this older looking women who was still pretty cute but you could tell she wasn't in her 20's anymore, but still almost a 7. I asked her to move over so I could get a drink, and this was our convo:


Flint: Excuse me I'm just trying to get in here to get a drink.

HB Older: 27.

Flint (Confused look): Is that a drink?

HB older: No that's how old you are.

Flint (Laugh): I'm actually 23.

HB older (puts hand on shoulder): I'm 35 so that makes me a cougar.

Flint (smug smile): I've got to get to know you a little better before I decide if you're a cougar or not.

small talk...my friends all wink at me and leave us alone to give me some face time. Later her friend who looks like she was in her 50's came up to me and told me she was a good girl and that she thinks I'm hot.

HB older: So does it bother you that I'm tall?

Flint: Most people are taller than me it's fine. (I really wanted to be more clever the entire convo but I was kind of caught off guard)

HB older: You have a girlfriend don't you? I can tell.

Flint (smiles): What makes you say that?

HB older: Cause you're hot.

Flint: (makes up some story that I just got out of one).


Anyways after that we start dancing. She gets down low to make sure her tight but is rubbing up on my crotch. She was definitely putting in the effort to get me going, rubbing her legs on me and stuff.

What happened here is going to really tick a lot of you off, but I actually ejected after a while. I know a lot of you guys probably are going to think I'm a wuss, but during this entire encounter I had sort of an uncomfortable feeling. I was worried she was some kind of prostitute, or so dirty that it was going to be bad to do anything with her anyways. She was pretty sexy, and I thought it was cool that she was older, but I just had a bad vibe too. Also I always feel more comfortable when I'm in the driver seat and escalating, because I'm not used to women escalating me like this for a change. I'm used to being ignored so it's weird and I don't know how to handle it yet I guess. When I'm escalating I feel more in control of the situation.


Analysis

Alright so at the end of the day I still haven't gotten laid, so I guess I'm still failing in this department. But since I started I've kiss closed 4 chicks (one of which closed me) and I'm clearly somehow getting more attention.

I'm not really exactly sure what's changed about me. I look the same, my humor is still the same, but for some reason people listen to me now and I'm like a focal point in conversations. I feel better about myself because I've got a great job which is yielding lots of confidence for me. But people have known me for years and are now just naturally acting differently around me, and for once in my life twice now I've had girls actually taking the initiative to GET ME FOR A CHANGE.

This has presented a weird problem for me. It's like I don't know how to handle it almost. I'm NOT TRYING TO SAY I'M A LADIES MAN or anything like that, I'm certainly not there yet and I have a lot to go still. But clearly just from my description of the past three weekends a change has happened. The only thing I can attribute this to is that I must feel better about myself, and people must see it. And the problem is that I don't know how to handle being pursued for a change.

I'm not saying it's a bad problem. Even when that girl just kissed me I was kind of taken back. It's a truly weird feeling because I guess I've got to get used to and finally accept that I can pull chicks and that I'm a good catch. When I walk into a bar or a party I usually feel like I've got to work to impress people, but somehow without trying it's just happening, and I'm getting responses from women. I need to be able to just go onto auto pilot and get used to this, and also get better at direct game because I probably can toy around with that more now.

As always any thoughts or observations would be great!

 

[flint]

As a side note I also wanted to point out how wimpy men are in 2010. The friends I came with b*tched and moaned that they wanted to go to a new venue to switch it up and talk to chicks. So what happened? The entire time I was dancing, flirting with a 35 year old, talking to strangers, and they were SITTING IN THE CORNER DRINKING THEIR BOTTLED BEERS AND DOING NOTHING. And even WORSE, THEY WERE COMPLAINING THAT IT WAS LAME!

I mean come on what do you need an invitation to have a good time? It's amazing how many guys are just afraid to approach girls, or get proactive in their lives an d try new things like this. I mean we've only got one life to live, you need to risk everything or else you'll regret your entire life. I just don't understand how people can be like this.

The male gender is truly dieing, and it disgusts me.

 

[flint]

Will the real Flint Please Stand Up?

Hey guys,

I stopped posting on this for several months because essentially I got into a car accident and have been recovering for the past 6 months or so. It wasn't until this past weekend that I was fully recovered.

I'm looking at my life now and for the first time ever I've realized I'm running out of time to get this area of my life settled. I need to do it now, yesterday if possible. I have a game plan, but its going to be ugly.

So if you've read previous posts, you saw I was making some good progress at first, well now I need to catch up even though I was out of it for the past few months and lost my momentum. After tonight, I've realized that essentially I'm just plain and simple afraid of rejection, and what it comes down to is I need to face this demon head on.

This weekend I visited a friend of mine in NY, and for the first time in 6 months I was able to go out and be back in the game. We went to a club, and I wore a nice button down and was dressed for success. I went out, and although I was a little worried I would do terrible, I started talking to a bunch of strangers.

At one point of the night I went to the bar and there was this cute girl standing next to me. As I stood next to her I said "I'm going to be first", to which she replied "No" in an uninterested tone.

After a few seconds a couple of older women on the other side of us got these fancy drinks, so I leaned over to the girl again and said "It would help if they didn't order the most fancy drinks ever" refering to the fact that we were waiting for a long time. Finally I got my drink before the girl and said "See, its cause I'm pretty much the man", and all of the sudden she opened up and we started talking for a while. Eventually her friend jumped in and we were talking for a while, but she had this great smile on the entire time so I knew I was doing well.

Then my friends and I went to the dance floor and I was sort of hanging out to the side and this blondey basically came up and started grinding on me, which makes me know I've been improving on my body language since that's all she had to go off of. I danced with her for a little and then she bounced probablyl because I'm not good at dancing lol.

Anyways the night went great and I was talking to so many people that at the end a bunch of people were saying goodbye to me by my name, and I ran into the girl I had talked to earlier who had given me this smile like she was very excited to see me.

Now here is where I realize I need to deal with rejection. Tonight I went to this local bar for a trivia night. I ordered a drink when I noticed this table with a dude and 2 girls. The dude I saw I actually went to college with, but the 2 chicks were pretty cute. So I went up to the dude and said it was good to see him again. Basically I was cracking jokes without even trying, and the girls were laughing, but something was stopping me from escalating to a number close or something (probably because the dude was there even though I knew they just worked with him). Eventually I went over to the table again while the dude was gone and we were still hitting it off, I had both of the girls laughing, but I couldn't even ask what their names were because its one of my first nights being back on the market.

Overall, it was good that I was able to open a set tonight but I'm clearly out of practice, and I need to catch up quickly. The only way I can do this which I wasn't even able to do when I was making progress is what I like to call the "rejection marathon". Essentially what I am going to do for the next few weeks until I'm numb is go for numbers, kiss closes, etc., and bank up rejections until I don't even care anymore. I have to do this because its my last sticking point, and no matter how suave I am around people, if I'm always afraid of rejection I will never succeed at this.

So the next few weeks should be pretty entertaining, the worse the rejections the better.

 

[macallik]

welcome back man. Sorry to hear about the accident but glad you are recovering and back on the scene