Fling advice

[Rainrain]

I am actually interested how this story will continue. I know logically speaking, both of them will not snitch on each other since both of them have a ton to lose.

I also read somewhere that in affairs one person eventually will go cold and then the other will pursue. Then the other goes cold in turn then the first person will pursue, and on and on.

 

[Nitrozv20]

Wow, what happened?

long story short
-I was going through divorce, old friend reached out
-her marriage sucked, things heated up
-full blown relationship for 2 years
-her divorce case gets dismissed because of kids
-1 year of still hooking up
-i start moving on, seeing the light that i was about to be dragged on forever with my strong attachement
-Out of my integrity, mental health issues started
-strong oneitis, dragged and wasted 3 years of my life, am numb, have hard time connecting

 

[Quick_Isk]

I am actually interested how this story will continue. I know logically speaking, both of them will not snitch on each other since both of them have a ton to lose.

I also read somewhere that in affairs one person eventually will go cold and then the other will pursue. Then the other goes cold in turn then the first person will pursue, and on and on.

So far the only thing that has happened is that we both interact by text now and then. Some times the texts are just casual, getting to know each other and other times they are a bit more sexual.

I also do not believe we will snitch on each other, since as you say we both have something to lose and part of what is exciting in all of this is the fact that it is forbidden.

From my perspective, what I see in myself is that I am drawn in two directions at the same time and it takes some balancing and finding the right mindset. On the one had, I really love my wife and would not imagine a life without her. I also would neve want to hurt her, so I am extra careful in what I do. On the other hand, I find the flirt invigorating and that it is bringing life back into me in some ways. I know it might sound stupid and something that would be classified as a mid-life crisis (I am in my very early 40s), but I feel it is something that I really missed. This sense of excitement, allure of interacting and engaging with an interesting and attractive person and slowly getting to know them.

I am fully aware of both the risks and the ethical concerns of this whole story and I am obviously not morally above anyone to justify my actions.

 

[BillyPilgrim]

This is too much drama. OP - she's Catholic isn't she?

The idea is to have a fling with someone who won't get attached (and vice versa).

 

[Quick_Isk]

I dont think she is religious, how is this relevant?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

An update for those that wonder how these things unfold.

So, after keeping no contact after the initial couple of days of meeting in person and having sex, she reached out and started chatting.

I have been keeping it cool, and we have had some light and fun chats, but nothing sexual or too serious.

She has gradually started sharing much more about herself and now texts me regularly, sharing what she is doing and pictures of herself and complimenting me on my looks and charming personality.

I find it both flattering and exciting, but I am trying to keep grounded. I always try to keep my guard up in some way with women I have just met. It is just more proof, though, that the more calm and controlled you are, the more they will be into you. I think she is used to guys drooling over her since she is extremely attractive and social, so perhaps this dynamic is something that she is not used to.

Imagine whats going to happen when she reaches out to your wife with all the texts and photos you have been sharing and what's been going on between you both.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Imagine whats going to happen when she reaches out to your wife with all the texts and photos you have been sharing and what's been going on between you both.

Yes, it doesn't sound like he used a burner phone, as any experienced adulterer would.

 

[Quick_Isk]

And why should she do that? What does she have to gain?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

And why should she do that? What does she have to gain?

Besides wrecking your relationship, you mean?

Glee, man. Glee.
A psychopath's duping delight.
Dancing on your grave.
Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

And why should she do that? What does she have to gain?

Trust me, things will go badly at some point and women act on emotions in the moment...maybe you want to cut it off and she doesn't want to, maybe she wants you to leave your wife to be with her, etc

Haven't you ever heard the saying
"Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned"?

Women can be extremely vindictive...even the ones who you never thought it possible that they could be like that. Sometimes, especially those ones.

If you don't know this by now I'm not sure what to tell you.

For your sake I hope your phone is locked down like Fort Knox, your wife doesn't know your passwords/pin code/have fingerprint access and that you prevent anything from showing while on a lock screen.

Imagine your wife picking up your phone and seeing a nude pic of her as an incoming message or other salacious message.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

For your sake I hope your phone is locked down like Fort Knox, your wife doesn't know your passwords/pin code/have fingerprint access and that you prevent anything from showing while on a lock screen.

Imagine your wife picking up your phone and seeing a nude pic of her as an incoming message or other salacious message.

I never needed one, but if you're diddling around with other women, better use a burner phone that you don't leave lying around.

 

[Quick_Isk]

The fact that we are both married and living in different countries makes me a bit more assured that she just likes the casual and fun nature of it all. Of course I have contemplated the fact that she might be a psycho or act all emotional but so far she hasnt shown this. I have been much more careful with women that are single. Also, I know how to keep things safe on my phone. If I was found to have a second one, that would raise suspicions much more.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Also, I know how to keep things safe on my phone. If I was found to have a second one, that would raise suspicions much more.

My advice is worth what you paid for it.

I don't know what you're doing chatting and flirting with other women, but if I were in a monogamous relationship, I would make sure not to flirt with other women. Not even for 'fun'.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I never needed one, but if you're diddling around with other women, better use a burner phone that you don't leave lying around.

Or just use an app that gives you a phone number that you can lock down