flaky but interested? or should i just next her....

jay5live

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I'm having a real dilemma concerning a friend of mine that i'd really like to start dating. I'm a sophomore in college, and i met her freshman year when I was seeing one of her good friends. We ended up having some classes together second semester, lived in the same building and got pretty close. Casual flirting, studying together, stuff like that...she even invited me out to a beach house with her and two of her girl friends at the before she moved back home for the summer, but we didn't hook up or anything......I kind of get the feeling that she's really outgoing by nature, but is a little bit shy when she's around me. I've always kind of played it cool, not really going after her too agressively.
Anyways, this semester it seems like things have heated up a little bit....I went to her birthday party awhile ago, she got insanely drunk, and was all over me for most of it. I ended up having to take care of her, and physically carried her to her apartment. i have a conscience, so i didn't try to hook up with her then because she was simply smashed.
A few weeks ago she calls me up out of the blue, and wanted to go with me to see this political speaker in the quad.....things went along pretty well, and she mentioned she really wanted to see a certain movie. I took the hint, and asked her out after the rally. She agreed, and seemed excited, telling me to call her that weekend. I was really busy and didn't get around to calling her till Saturday night (too short notice?), to arrange it for Sunday, but she called me back Sunday morning because one of her girlfriends is trying to become a singer and was performing at a club on the Sunset strip. i told her it wasn't a big deal, and for her to call me later in the week. So she ended up IMing me that Friday, asking me if I had seen the movie yet, and told me to call her again that Sunday. I actually ended up running into her at a party, and think i did a good job of raising her interest level. I basically ignored her, other than saying hi and making a little small talk, and talked a lot with a pretty hot female neighbor of mine in plain sight of her for a lot of the party. I did make sure to say goodbye to her, mentioning I was walking my neighbor home, and she once again told me to call her. So i called her that Sunday morning, got her answering machine, and let her know i'd like to go to the movie again. she called me back later, saying she had a ton of work to do, and might not finish it in time to keep our date....she called me again later that night, and i just let my answering machine pick it up.
Normally, i'd just next a girl that does this to me, but we've got such a history that i'm still really attracted. Her message pretty much consisted of her apologizing a lot, asking if she could have a rain check, telling me that she "owes me one, big time" and would call me later in the week. Anyways, she didn't call (probably because it was halloween weekend and she knew i was out partying), and i didn't call her either. Anyways, I ran into her yesterday on my way home from class, and the first thing she said to me was how much she owed me one.....i acted like it was no big deal, and she told me she wasn't doing to well in her classes, and had been studying pretty much for the last two weeks (she studied and didn't even go out halloween weekend). we talked for a bit, and as i left she told me to call her. i told her likewise.

Now should I give her another chance, and call to set another date, or should i take this as a sign she's not interested (she seems interested to me)? Or should I not call her at all, and next her if she doesn't call back? What's your guys' take on this situation?
 
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Jariel

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Don't worry too much about a broken date here and there. All people have good reasons for flaking now and again.

However, if you keep calling her when she tells you to, she'll take you for granted and you'll lose your value. So it may be better if you back off for now until she starts advancing things.

As a rule I allow a woman two exceptions. After that it's her move or it's over.
 

Lan

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Better than calling, you should make plans ASAP. Set a time and date..
 

Big Pappy

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When a lass suggests that she owes you, we know why. It's because her actions are not consistent with her words.

So, what I like to do is require a specific action from her. I love chocolate chip cookies. I tell her, "Yes, you DO owe me."

"A batch of homemade chocolate chip cookies should suffice. "

If she makes them, she has interest. If she does not, then perhaps her interest isn't high enough.

Variations of this include her "helping" to make the cookies. An excellent afternoon of fun and flirtation. I always try to slip out and watch the game while she continues the effort.

I always tell them the cookies aren't for me but for a bunch of 3rd & 4th graders that I coach in chess. What horny chick can resist helping children?
 

Dukester

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ya, dont worry about it. she seems like she's interested in you, and she wants to by ya g/f. dont let a few broken dates get you down.
just recently this happend to me- like this past week.
my girlfriend was being really messed up, and not talking to me, and i kept askin her what was wrong, but she wouldnt tell me. i was in her dorm wed night- surprise visit, and i didnt stay too long.
i got pissed off cuz she was ignoring me, and i told her bye, and left.
we had plans for dinner thursday nite (yesterday), and she was in such a freaking better mood.
at dinner she confessed that she's just extremely stressed out about school, cuz she's got a lot of credit hours, and she's not doing to good in her classes.
i left it at taht, offered to help her her math (cuz i'm in a higher one), and now things seem to be going a lot better than they did this past week.

so my advice to u- just give her some time to get her school priorities settled, and then she wont break as many dates on you. give her some time, and persevere, but dont act like you are.
 

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Just read my free ebook 22 Rules for Massive Success With Women and do the opposite of what I recommend.

This will quickly drive all women away from you.

And you will be able to relax and to live your life in peace and quiet.

jay5live

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update:
She called me on Tuesday, wanting to see the movie with me today. I told her i had a paper to write, giving her a little taste of her own medicine. She asked when i was free, and suggested a date this weekend, which i agreed to. i know she's going to apologize a lot when we're on the date......How should i address her previous canceling on me while we're on the date? Should i give her a little c/f teasing regarding her behavior, or should i act as if it was nothing at all?
 
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