Flaking

[thunder_god]

So I was suppose to go out dancing with a girl from my salsa class today and she flaked on me 30 minutes before we were suppose to meet. She claimed she was too tired. I kind of tried to reason with her but learning from my past experience, I didn't try to rationalize after the first attempt. She said she would make it up to me, and said she would go dance with me two times or something and buy me dinner.

To be fair, she did offer an alternative day which is tomorrow, however she said a bunch of people from my class are going, so I declined because I don't want to first of all get ****blocked, and second turn this into a friend type of event.

I haven't really had the opportunity to really talk to her much except the first class, where me and her ended up walking to the subway station together. The weeks after that, our interactions have been like 30 secs or less so kind of hard to really build attraction and game her. This week was our last classes so I knew I had to get her number and arrange a date/ gettogether in order to seal the deal. I got the number, and she agreed to go out this week. I didn't get a chance to work out logistics that day because we all got kicked out of the room and some dude ended up ****blocking me, so I hit her up yesterday.

me: Hey when are u free to go out dancing?

her: how's this sat? I think a bunch of people from class are going to the church on spadina

me: Are u free tmr? ( I didn't want this to be a group thing plus travelling to and from downtown on weekends is a pain in the a$$).

Her: I'm free during the day, I'm having dinner with M from class and going to watch a musical at 7:30. Unless if you wanna go to one of the salsa clubs later at night?

me:That's what I was going to suggest, u read my mind lol

her: Haha yeah sure. What time and where were you thinking? Want me to ask M if she wants to come too? Though I'm not sure if she can stay out late

me: At 9:30 at this club near this intersection
me: She can come if she wants
me: Free cover for ladies after 9:30

her: Sounds good. Doesn't that club get ridiculously crowded..? I'll check with her! I don't have my ticket with me so I'm not sure when the show ends. I'll confirm a time by 11 tonight

me: I'll find a few clubs just in case it gets crowded.

her: Haha its ok, I don't mind too much. Thanks!

I didn't hear from her last night so I didn't want to waste my time in case she flakes so I texted her. I actually got these text tips from a rsd inner cycle member so as to not appear worried or needy.

Todays interaction:

me: hey her name, guess what...

her: mmhm?

me: I just saw your twin walking by

her: Did you say hi? I'm around keele and lawrence. Are you around here?

me: I'll tell u more later on tonight at 9:30

her: Haha. Ok, I think my show finishes at 9:30. I'm actually not 100% sure when it ends. Do you wanna go to babaluu first and I'll meet you there? I'll call you when I'm there if I don't find you?

me: Where's the musical at?

her: Hart house. But I don't know when it ends

me: OK just meet up with me at the salsa club

her: Ok will do. I'll text you when I'm leaving hart house. and if I don't find you I'll call you

her: Jane says she's going to uptown loft and there are other people going there too. Apparently babaluu is more bachata and uptown has more salsa. I'm not very good at bachata... Have you been to babaluu? Is it really that bachata heavy?

me: Lets just go to bubulous and check it out and if we don't like it, we'll head to the other place. If anything my bachata is alot better then my salsa, so your in good hands

her: Haha ok. My salsa is a lot better than my bachata.... So your in ****ty company

I then get a phone call like 2.5-3hrs later and she tells me she's tired and flakes out on me. Then like 1.5hrs later I get a text from her:

her: Just heading home now. Thank you again for understanding! I owe you two dance practices1 How's that?


I haven't replied back yet as I'm not sure what to say. I asked several rsd guys who I was out with today. Two of them told me to just say something like this and send it today:

no problem, when are u free to go out?

One guy told me some lame ass **** about saying, sure we can go with your friends and another guy said he wasn't sure.


I was thinking of texting her something like either:


no worries, when are u free to get together?

or

Aren't u forgetting the dinner too? And those two dance practices better be awesome.

I need your help coming up with a text reply back to her and also when the text should be sent. I know most guys would be quick to say NEXT but I asked 4-5 guys from rsd today and they all said she's interested based on her texts and her reply time. Oh ya, I learned from the last time a chick flaked on me to make backup plans, which I did today which helped ease the sting a bit.

 

[goldengoose]

So I was suppose to go out dancing with a girl from my salsa class today and she flaked on me 30 minutes before we were suppose to meet. She claimed she was too tired.

I then get a phone call like 2.5-3hrs later and she tells me she's tired and flakes out on me. Then like 1.5hrs later I get a text from her:.

My question is, why are you still talking with her? She insults you by flaking on you with some lame excuse of being tired. Haven't you been insulted enough by her?

Flaking on you 30 minutes before the date saying she is tired is insulting. I would have nexted her ass just for that. Then you chat her up through text to hang out again and she flakes with the same excuse. You can see where her priorities are and they are not with you.

She's giving you empty promises, all talk and no action. She's stringing you along while you give her attention.

I got back from a date tonight where the chick called me at the last minute to go out, not to flake.

You gave this chick another opportunity to redeem herself, she used the same excuse that she was tired.

You're nuts if you even talk to this chick. Don't be insulted by her anymore.

When she texts you, tell her your fingers are too tired to text, then ignore.

I asked 4-5 guys from rsd today and they all said she's interested based on her texts and her reply time.

What would you rather have? Her texts and reply time with a bvllsh1t flake or a date? She had a chance to go out with you and turned you down. Not any interest there that I can see.

Insulted me twice? She flaked on me once and I haven't chatted her up since she flaked on me from that phone call which was today. I don't know where you got twice from? Maybe I should be more clear. I got her number this week after asking her out to go dancing. I texted her yesterday to workout the logistics to go out today. She told me she would get back to me last night with the time her musical would end. I heard nothing from her, so I texted her today to ensure I'm not wasting my time by showing up. She then flakes on me 30 minutes before we're suppose to go out and then sends me a text 1.5 hrs later.

If I had a chick flake on me twice back to back, her ass is gone!

It sounded like you had 2 incidents where she flaked from your post. Either way 30 minutes before is crap. She still could have done something with you if she was really interested. I would make sure her IL is very high before you even ask her again. I wouldn't even bother with her though after that flake.

 

[thunder_god]

My question is, why are you still talking with her? She insults you twice by flaking on you with some lame excuse of being tired. Haven't you been insulted enough by her?

Flaking on you 30 minutes before the date saying she is tired is insulting. I would have nexted her ass just for that. Then you chat her up through text to hang out again and she flakes with the same excuse. You can see where her priorities are and they are not with you.

She's giving you empty promises, all talk and no action. She's stringing you along while you give her attention.

I got back from a date tonight where the chick called me at the last minute to go out, not to flake.

You gave this chick another opportunity to redeem herself, she used the same excuse that she was tired.

You're nuts if you even talk to this chick. Don't be insulted by her anymore.

When she texts you, tell her your fingers are too tired to text, then ignore.

Insulted me twice? She flaked on me once and I haven't chatted her up since she flaked on me from that phone call which was today. I don't know where you got twice from? Maybe I should be more clear. Ok I see where the confusion was. My first paragraph is a quick summary of what happened, and the rest of my post is the exact interaction I had with her. I got her number this week after asking her out to go dancing. I texted her yesterday to workout the logistics to go out today. She told me she would get back to me last night with the time her musical would end. I heard nothing from her, so I texted her today to ensure I'm not wasting my time by showing up. She then flakes on me 30 minutes before we're suppose to go out and then sends me a text 1.5 hrs later.

If I had a chick flake on me twice back to back, her ass is gone!

 

[jester1x]

She isn't interested in seeing you in any way, shape or form outside of class. Her telling you she is free during the day and owes you two practice dances told you everything you need to know. Truly interested woman do not bail and will even show up even just for five minutes. You don't even have to invest much time, emotion or effort to meet up with the really interested ones.

We've all been there...so I mean no offense to you. Carry on in your class but dance with other women if the opportunity presents itself. Be subtle and polite but withdraw any extra attention you provided to her. It's not to make her jealous or get a reaction out of her. It's you taking care of yourself and your own needs which no longer involve her in any way, shape or form.

Any further effort you put towards her is a waste of time and energy. You got much respect here because you tried and now you won't wonder about her anymore.

 

[compleks]

Flaking is not on. Especially 30minutes prior.

I wouldn't reply to her. If she's interested she will get back to you, in which case you make sure she knows that she has to make it up to you.

 

[rascal99v]

Sorry dude, but this girl is a lost cause. Like the other guys said, flaking 30 minutes before your date shows she doesn't want to chill. She was hanging out doing other stuff instead of wanting to chill with you. All she had to do was show up if she wanted to. You could have had a drink and chilled. She chose to cancel and offer you dance lessons instead of giving you a counter offer for a date.Those guys at RSD really aren't up to speed on women and attraction if they think she has interest. Texting you is one thing. Having the real interest of going on a date is another. Flaking is a sign of a lack of interest. That is what she has.

You can tell by her conversation that she didn't want a 1 on 1 date.

Look at this

me: Hey when are u free to go out dancing?

her: how's this sat? I think a bunch of people from class are going to the church on spadina

me: Are u free tmr? ( I didn't want this to be a group thing plus travelling to and from downtown on weekends is a pain in the a$$).

Her: I'm free during the day, I'm having dinner with M from class and going to watch a musical at 7:30. Unless if you wanna go to one of the salsa clubs later at night?

me:That's what I was going to suggest, u read my mind lol

her: Haha yeah sure. What time and where were you thinking? Want me to ask M if she wants to come too? Though I'm not sure if she can stay out late

You asked her to go out. She was talking about going with people from class. You hit her with "you didn't want it to be a group thing". She comes back with going with M from class. If she wanted it 1 on 1 she wouldn't want M going.

I then get a phone call like 2.5-3hrs later and she tells me she's tired and flakes out on me. Then like 1.5hrs later I get a text from her:

her: Just heading home now. Thank you again for understanding! I owe you two dance practices1 How's that?

This should tell you all you need to know that she doesn't want to go on an actual date. Those texts tips weren't very good because she was controlling the conversation. You didn't have anything set up for a date. She was suggesting what to do. Always make the plans and stick to them. Don't let the girl decide for you.

Don't text chicks to set up dates and all this other confirming bvllsh!t. Always confirm and set up dates over the phone. These anti texting guys only want you to text chicks for confirming dates and setting them up. You can see that didn't work out too well.

Texting is used for escalation to eventually get the chick into bed. There has to be real interest from the chick for that to happen.

Texting useless stuff about unconfirmed plans while she is deciding the date makes you look like a beta.

Texting is just a tool used for communication, you need real interest to get a date and to get laid as I have said many times before.

Texting didn't "kill any interest" here because there was no interest on her part.

I'm glad you have another option besides her. Always have other options in case of a flake. Hopefully your option will work out and you can have a great date. Yeah, don't ask her out again. See if she even mentions anything about going out on a date with you. I doubt that she will, but that will show any slight sign of interest she might have. Make her come to you.

 

[Harry Wilmington]

"I need your help coming up with a text reply back to her and also when the text should be sent. I know most guys would be quick to say NEXT but I asked 4-5 guys from rsd today and they all said she's interested based on her texts and her reply time."

:crackup:

Sorry, guy, but there's NO magic text you can send to turn this thing around. Once you asked her out to do something and she asked if others could come along, it was a WRAP. Interested girls don't do that - they want to actually get to KNOW you one on one, not bring along distractions for interference. Bottom line: she's not interested. And - AND - to add insult to injury, she said she'd owe you two dances but didn't set a date or time for when they would happen! Why? 'Cause she's hoping you'll forget about it and never bring it up to her - and if you DO, best believe something will come up again.

I don't know who these RSD guys are, but they're giving you horrible, horrible advice...

 

[Skyline]

Holy crap. You made asking out a girl really complicated for some reason... Or she may have and you let her control it. When are you free to get together? Then she says x or x... Any other reply is on the scale of disinterest. Then you come along and say alright meet me at x at x time. Simple as that, all of that "discussing" should just be replaced by "Don't worry about it" instead of making up all these back up plans.

And it sounds like she thinks of you as friends to be honest. A date to a club sounds awful by the way. Try and do something a little more romantic, like dinner or something, and a lot less loud. I would go ghost for a week and then ask her out again. If she rejects you, wait a week and a few more days while going ghost then ask again. If you still get rejected move on.

 

[Maximus Rex]

You Should Go

To be fair, she did offer an alternative day which is tomorrow, however she said a bunch of people from my class are going, so I declined because I don't want to first of all get ****blocked, and second turn this into a friend type of event.

Here's where you effed up at. You were too focused on this one chick and therefore your focus was to narrow. Though your chances with this chick may have been shot, don't blow the opportunity to

3)Game Other Chicks Who May Be at This Dinner

This may not like you, so what? However, there will be other women there who may. Use this as an opportunity to practice and develop your "million dollar mouth piece." One of the foundations of being a successful pick up artist is exposed to a variety of situation in field, so when that situation comes up again, due to prior experience you'll have the proper frame of reference to counter objections. Julien talks about using women as reference points for other sarges in this Youtube clip. Go to 7:33 of the clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EolUPYqgTCw#t=17

2) Exposing Yourself to New Social Situations

This isn't necessarily about developing game with women per se, but it's designed to get you acclimated and comfortable dealing with people across the board, which will come in handy.

If you read ole Rex's field reports, you'll notice that ya boy spends a lot of time at his old school. When I go over there to recruit people for the Paralegal Club, I also plug the Debate Club, using the rationale that the Debate Club will get people acclimated to public speaking and give them a proper foundation for moot court.

The same is true with you. Be it with chicks, interviews, dealing with future clients in your chosen vocation, you need to already have in place a solid foundation for not only dealing with, but being comfortable with people. You don't want number closes with an HB 8 and you definitely don't want your money dependent upon past interactions with people that where few and far in between. And the most important you should go to this dinner,

1) The Opportunity to Expand Your Social Circle

Again, this goes beyond game with women. You should know and deal with people from a variety of backgrounds and interests, (assuming they're good and decent people of course,) You might meet a new friend or develop a new business contact. The world operates via networking and folks prefer to do business with those they're familiar with. For example, based on these relationships when you people might refer you clients when you're finished with your program.

Social circle pulls are the easiest because you already have the element of familiarity with that particular group of peers. However, social circle game is the most delicate because you often only get one chance to make a good impression with the woman in that particular social circle. to increase your chances of making that all important good impression is to have a excellent rapport with the people in this social circle. So go to the dinner, get out there and practice. Here's the opportunity to practice having mundane conversation with people. Hell, I would even suggest that you do a field report on the b.s. conversation that you have with the group from your dancing class.

Now here's the biggie, when you go to this dinner, dear ole Rex is recommending two things.

1) You try to get somebody from RSD to go with you

2) You try to holla at the chick.

Not to holla at her to secure a date, but sarging ole girl so you'll have valuable in field experience in knowing when things are going wrong and the chick isn't feeling you. Also, this will give you an opportunity to try new sh*t.
Afterwards, you and the RSD dude can do a debrief to analyse what went right and what went wrong. Sometimes, it's good have a second pair of eyes on things.

and buy me dinner.

Call her on that make her buy you dinner. Finally Thor, you should go on the dinner, because what the eff else do you have planned for the night?

 

[thunder_god]

Here's where you effed up at. You were too focused on this one chick and therefore your focus was to narrow. Though your chances with this chick may have been shot, don't blow the opportunity to

3)Game Other Chicks Who May Be at This Dinner

This may not like you, so what? However, there will be other women there who may. Use this as an opportunity to practice and develop your "million dollar mouth piece." One of the foundations of being a successful pick up artist is exposed to a variety of situation in field, so when that situation comes up again, due to prior experience you'll have the proper frame of reference to counter objections. Julien talks about using women as reference points for other sarges in this Youtube clip. Go to 7:33 of the clip.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EolUPYqgTCw#t=17

2) Exposing Yourself to New Social Situations

This isn't necessarily about developing game with women per se, but it's designed to get you acclimated and comfortable dealing with people across the board, which will come in handy.

If you read ole Rex's field reports, you'll notice that ya boy spends a lot of time at his old school. When I go over there to recruit people for the Paralegal Club, I also plug the Debate Club, using the rationale that the Debate Club will get people acclimated to public speaking and give them a proper foundation for moot court.

The same is true with you. Be it with chicks, interviews, dealing with future clients in your chosen vocation, you need to already have in place a solid foundation for not only dealing with, but being comfortable with people. You don't want number closes with an HB 8 and you definitely don't want your money dependent upon past interactions with people that where few and far in between. And the most important you should go to this dinner,

1) The Opportunity to Expand Your Social Circle

Again, this goes beyond game with women. You should know and deal with people from a variety of backgrounds and interests, (assuming they're good and decent people of course,) You might meet a new friend or develop a new business contact. The world operates via networking and folks prefer to do business with those they're familiar with. For example, based on these relationships when you people might refer you clients when you're finished with your program.

Social circle pulls are the easiest because you already have the element of familiarity with that particular group of peers. However, social circle game is the most delicate because you often only get one chance to make a good impression with the woman in that particular social circle. to increase your chances of making that all important good impression is to have a excellent rapport with the people in this social circle. So go to the dinner, get out there and practice. Here's the opportunity to practice having mundane conversation with people. Hell, I would even suggest that you do a field report on the b.s. conversation that you have with the group from your dancing class.

Now here's the biggie, when you go to this dinner, dear ole Rex is recommending two things.

1) You try to get somebody from RSD to go with you

2) You try to holla at the chick.

Not to holla at her to secure a date, but sarging ole girl so you'll have valuable in field experience in knowing when things are going wrong and the chick isn't feeling you. Also, this will give you an opportunity to try new sh*t.
Afterwards, you and the RSD dude can do a debrief to analyse what went right and what went wrong. Sometimes, it's good have a second pair of eyes on things.



Call her on that make her buy you dinner. Finally Thor, you should go on the dinner, because what the eff else do you have planned for the night?

Well it appears most people who replied on this thread seem very bitter about it and are taking it too personally. She's only a HB6 and I'm not looking to have any relationships with her. She's used more for practice and can be cannon foddler if need be to take my game to the next level. I'm kind of surprised about all the replies here. No person bothered to answer my question which was how to reply back to her but instead went on about nexting the girl because she flaked. Here we talk about not letting what a chick does to you effect you and confident persistence and yet as soon as someone flakes, we give up. Keep in mind, I've only really had a conversation with this girl like once. All my previous five other interactions with her have been very short, so I didn't really have an opportunity to game her or show sexual interest. She most likely doesn't even know I'm interested in. I wanted to get her out so that I could game her instead of having like 10 sec to talk to her in salsa class.

As for going to the dance class today, I already told her I had plans and me suddenly saying I'm going to come or just showing up tells her I'm not congruent with my words and plus I don't want to appear needy and clingy. The dinner thing you mentioned was just her saying she'll buy me dinner to make up for flaking on me. Now if she does bring up the dancing together in a group setting again, I'm going to get a few wings to come with me which I met a **** tonne of last night from the rsd meeting. Obviously if I go to the dance classes with her and a bunch of people, I'll be trying to game her and stuff and show my interest in her. It's like you said, I still benefit from the experience even if she's not receptive towards my advances. I mean really what do I got to lose? If she is receptive of my advances, then great I got a plate, if she blows me off, then I don't need to waste anymore time on her.

Also about calling her out on that dinner, well that's why I created this thread to ask about how to reply back to her text to get her out not to hear about this bull$hit about nexting the girl and moving on which pretty much everyone here is telling me to do except u. I got to admit though, her flaking on me did bother me for a bit, but not to the point where I'm all bitter and ****. I went out last night and approached several girls afterwards on the street and in a bar, met a dozen new wings, and had a blast. Her flaking was just a small hiccup and I tried to not let that ruin my night .

 

[Maximus Rex]

Don't Text, Game as Normal

Also about calling her out on that dinner, well that's why I created this thread to ask about how to reply back to her text to...

You don't respond the texts. Actually stop texting and only use texting to get logistical information. My advice would be to show up at the dinner and do what I previously stated. Also, you're going to have to build social proof within the group. If the group sees that your cool, then it will increase the likelihood of you being able to separate her from the group for isolation and escalation. You might also want to use a jealousy plot line.

t_g you're in the learning curve and you're just going to have to get out there and being willing to try different things in order to see how they work. Yes, there are tried and truth methods, but also, this is about developing your personal game in order to see what kind of Don Juan that you want to be and I can tell you right now, the Don Juan that you want to be wouldn't respond to her text. If she asks why you didn't, tell ole girl that you were "seeing a chick about a cat." However, since I'm now here, come sit next to me and I want "x," "y," and "z," to eat. If she doesn't want to buy you dinner, bring it up to the group or preferably a hot waitress or chick and use it as an opener. Playfully shame her on not being a woman of her word and say that's why y'all wouldn't in relationship, not only are you a flake, but you make promises that you don't keep.

She'll deny the accusation, then try to order your again. Either she'll buy you dinner or she won't. Also, while she's saying sorry about flaking and whatnot and giving you her bullsh*t excuse. Playfully call into question her character, of course she'll deny being a flake, then you'll say, but I'm mad and you'll have to make it up to me. With that she'll say "How?" or have a blank look on her face. You'll take your index finger, tap it on your cheek, and say, "Give me some sugar." or something to that effect.

If she complies with all of that, you'll know that she has some sort of interest, you have the momentum, and it's up to you to escalate. If she doesn't comply, then you know to to back off. Yo, empty some of your messages out of your PM box. dude.

 

[thunder_god]

You don't respond the texts. Actually stop texting and only use texting to get logistical information. My advice would be to show up at the dinner and do what I previously stated. Also, you're going to have to build social proof within the group. If the group sees that your cool, then it will increase the likelihood of you being able to separate her from the group for isolation and escalation. You might also want to use a jealousy plot line.

t_g you're in the learning curve and you're just going to have to get out there and being willing to try different things in order to see how they work. Yes, there are tried and truth methods, but also, this is about developing your personal game in order to see what kind of Don Juan that you want to be and I can tell you right now, the Don Juan that you want to be wouldn't respond to her text. If she asks why you didn't, tell ole girl that you were "seeing a chick about a cat." However, since I'm now here, come sit next to me and I want "x," "y," and "z," to eat. If she doesn't want to buy you dinner, bring it up to the group or preferably a hot waitress or chick and use it as an opener. Playfully shame her on not being a woman of her word and say that's why y'all wouldn't in relationship, not only are you a flake, but you make promises that you don't keep.

She'll deny the accusation, then try to order your again. Either she'll buy you dinner or she won't. Also, while she's saying sorry about flaking and whatnot and giving you her bullsh*t excuse. Playfully call into question her character, of course she'll deny being a flake, then you'll say, but I'm mad and you'll have to make it up to me. With that she'll say "How?" or have a blank look on her face. You'll take your index finger, tap it on your cheek, and say, "Give me some sugar." or something to that effect.

If she complies with all of that, you'll know that she has some sort of interest, you have the momentum, and it's up to you to escalate. If she doesn't comply, then you know to to back off. Yo, empty some of your messages out of your PM box. dude.

You mean the dance right? There's no dinner. She just said she'll buy me dinner for bailing out on me over the phone. Also I don't know where the dance place is. I never asked her that, which again I would need to text or call her to ask about.

 

[rascal99v]

Dude, the guys here aren't being bitter, they're just letting you know that when a girl flakes like that she has no interest to chill.

Seems like you're still determined to get her out on date no matter what people are telling you. So, let's have it your way and roll the dice and see what happens. Ok?

If you ask her out again through text she is going to flake again. She isn't going to change her opinion of going out with you. You admitted that she doesn't know you all that well. So, instead of asking her out again now, let her get to know you better at class to build some attraction and interest.

Dance with her, make her laugh, flirt with her, see if she initiates any texts to you. If you see she is responsive, then go ahead and ask her out when you're at the dance class. You see this chick in person, so there is no reason to be wimpy asking her out through a text. Be a man and ask her out face to face where you can see her actual reaction. Then, if you get some lame excuse you will finally know yourself. Asking her out now won't do you any good. Go to the class and see how she reacts to you. If she brings up hanging out that is what you want, that means she is interested. If you hear nothing about it, then you know she isn't interested.

Don't ask girls out through texting. Always ask them out over the phone by talking or in person. You see this chick at class, so ask her to go out after class. No reason to be using the phone for that. This is the best advice I can give you considering your circumstances. So, give it a shot and see what happens. Just don't be too disappointed if it doesn't work out.

You don't respond the texts. Actually stop texting and only use texting to get logistical information.

:crackup:

Terrible advice. Interested chicks always initiate texts. You don't ignore those texts. Texting is for escalation, not meaningless logistical information. You saw how well that went with the "logistical information" here. :crackup:

What class? This week was the last class, which is why the only way she will get to know me better is if I get her out. I mean if we still had classes together that's one thing. I can work on her in class, but that's no longer an option. It was also the reason why I knew I had to number close her this week. I did ask her out in class but before I could handle the logistics, I got ****blocked twice and ended up having to leave to go to my other class while she left. I had to text her later on to arrange getting together. I'm obviously still going to be gaming and doing cold approaches outside of her. In fact my old oneitis last week got back in touch with me, so this girl isn't my only option. I learnt that lesson the hard way with my oneitis.

You said she offered you dance lessons instead of offering you another date. Isn't that right? Take her up on that offer and see if she does it. That is a class when you think about it. You have the perfect opportunity to make somethng happen if you are still determined to go through with it. I highly doubt anything will happen, but if you still want it to happen, try it and see what happens.

 

[thunder_god]

Dude, the guys here aren't being bitter, they're just letting you know that when a girl flakes like that she has no interest to chill.

Seems like you're still determined to get her out on date no matter what people are telling you. So, let's have it your way and roll the dice and see what happens. Ok?

If you ask her out again through text she is going to flake again. She isn't going to change her opinion of going out with you. You admitted that she doesn't know you all that well. So, instead of asking her out again now, let her get to know you better at class to build some attraction and interest.

Dance with her, make her laugh, flirt with her, see if she initiates any texts to you. If you see she is responsive, then go ahead and ask her out when you're at the dance class. You see this chick in person, so there is no reason to be wimpy asking her out through a text. Be a man and ask her out face to face where you can see her actual reaction. Then, if you get some lame excuse you will finally know yourself. Asking her out now won't do you any good. Go to the class and see how she reacts to you. If she brings up hanging out that is what you want, that means she is interested. If you hear nothing about it, then you know she isn't interested.

Don't ask girls out through texting. Always ask them out over the phone by talking or in person. You see this chick at class, so ask her to go out after class. No reason to be using the phone for that. This is the best advice I can give you considering your circumstances. So, give it a shot and see what happens. Just don't be too disappointed if it doesn't work out.




:crackup:

Terrible advice. Interested chicks always initiate texts. You don't ignore those texts. Texting is for escalation, not meaningless logistical information. You saw how well that went with the "logistical information" here. :crackup:

What class? This week was the last class, which is why the only way she will get to know me better is if I get her out. I mean if we still had classes together that's one thing. I can work on her in class, but that's no longer an option. It was also the reason why I knew I had to number close her this week. I did ask her out in class but before I could handle the logistics, I got ****blocked twice and ended up having to leave to go to my other class while she left. I had to text her later on to arrange getting together. I'm obviously still going to be gaming and doing cold approaches outside of her. In fact my old oneitis last week got back in touch with me, so this girl isn't my only option. I learnt that lesson the hard way with my oneitis.

 

[WrEcKLeSS2000]

Women that flake are total twits. I've experienced women flaking on me time after time again. No fault of my own. I'm a cool guy and know that I'm a great catch.

These women now-a-days have this sense of entitlement and are not held accountable for their actions. They get away with flaking and extremely discourteous behavior and nobody calls them out on their B.S. most of the time.


It just makes me so angry when this keeps happening to any good dude out there including myself that is sincerely trying to find a girlfriend.

The pattern continues over and over again. Meet some chick at an event, attempt to contact her for a date, and either no answer or a text with an excuse. Women can be so pathetic.

 

[Greasy Pig]

OP, just to confirm: did she say she'd confirm with you that night "by 11", and then you didn't hear from her?
If so, and combined with flake, tells me you're wasting your time.

 

[Mr Gyalist]

i think sometimes we get too fussy on here, you should have gone out, even if there were others there, so what…when u meet a girl in a club she might be with friends. This would of set you up for the second date.. all women are different and some need to be worked on harder than others. i have had a girl flake on me, i brushed it off, and waited a week and meet up with her and we had sex…mission accomplished, i could have got upset and not contactd her again but i pursued her (within reason) and got her…

 

[Pardner]

"I'm too tired" is the most easiest lie for a woman to use she is saying you are not worth her time.

 

[thunder_god]

OP, just to confirm: did she say she'd confirm with you that night "by 11", and then you didn't hear from her?
If so, and combined with flake, tells me you're wasting your time.

Ya she said she'd confirm with her friend when the show ends. Her text replies were fast and she was texting back a lot so it seemed like she was interested. Its like if your not interested, why even agree in the first place? I used that sneaky method of texting her the next day to confirm it because I didn't want to waste my time. That was an opportunity for her to bail if she wanted to, but she didn't do it. When she cancelled on me, she asks me to go with her dancing tomorrow but also that there would be people from our class there as well. I declined her offer. I suspect I was ****blocked by her two friends. Notice how she mentions her friends wanted her to go somewhere else. Both of those girls are also in my salsa class and I think one of them took a liking to me as well. Anyways I'm going to wait a few days and then try again, and if she pulls the same stunt again, she's gone and I got closure.

 

[jester1x]

Her text replies were fast and she was texting back a lot so it seemed like she was interested. Its like if your not interested, why even agree in the first place? I used that sneaky method of texting her the next day to confirm it because I didn't want to waste my time.

Your posts give me the impression that you like this woman a lot more than you care to admit. She basically sounds like a relatively polite woman who enjoys your attentions but really doesn't want to spend any time with you one on one as in a date or a romantic setting. A lot of woman will answer texts quickly and even call you often to talk but will become flaky when you suggest a meetup. It's impossible to get into an awkward physical situation through a text or phone call. She doesn't have to rebuff any physical advances from you because you'll never get the opportunity.

No one here is bitter but realistic and smart regarding which women do or do not deserve their attention. Look at women as an investment of sorts. If my initial observations regarding a particular woman suggest a low ROI (Return On Investment) then I tend to cut my losses early. Basically, the more you invest, the more you stand to lose.

Is it more pleasurable for you or does it feel like work? If it feels like I'm actually working for a woman's attention then the amount of pleasure I derive from it isn't worth the effort to me. (Everyone has their own personal limits.) A woman has to really reciprocate to a large degree. To me, that involves text, phone calls and one on one meetups. The amount may vary but all three things are present.

I don't think anyone here is trying to knock you. We all can tell the difference when a woman is really interested in you. An interested woman's behavior is completely the opposite of your experience with this woman. Also, there is never a need to confirm a meetup or an actual date.

Like I said before much respect to you for making the attempt. But, it sounds like this is becoming actual work to make anything one on one happen with this woman which means the pleasure part probably isn't worth it. Instead, you'd be thinking about how to get her to go out with you again instead of actually enjoying the time you spend with her. I figure this is the case here because I've done it too. Now, I just don't do it anymore but it takes practice.