Flaking question to you DJ's

[giorgio]

So this girl kinda flaked on me so of course I started ignoring her, no big deal. Now shes texting as if nothing's happened, wanting to say hi and all that small talk. I just responded "doin good, busy right now, I'll catch u later.."
She then asks things along the lines of is everything ok are you mad at me?

How do you guys respond to things like that? Its not like I hate the brod but I dont like it when they act dumb and waste my time. When you agree to something the day before and dont follow thru with it, its a waste of time right? isnt your time valuable? so is mine, know what Im saying? I wanna tell her off but its a waste of time and energy. How do I tell her off without telling her off? Hahaha! To be honest with you guys, Im the type that doesnt get walked on or develops one-itis, ever but i will admit im not a DJ to the full effect. Thats why Im not afaid to ask for opinions :yes:

 

[SchoolBoy]

How many times has she flaked on you?

 

[horaholic]

ALWAYS be playful about it. NEVER tell a girl off for flaking in an angry sense. Girls flake, thats what they do. Dont take it personally, and never let em see it bother you.. Heres a link I recommend to everyone when it comes to flaking:

(Its not just about phone game, btw)
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/60168

Basically, chicks flake because A: they have other options. B. They dont know you well enough to change their life around, even if they are interested C. Not interested D. You arent firmly planted in her reality. E. Just not in the mood to hang out with you. Chicks change their mind every five minutes. The next day, she may really want to hang out with you, but she probably wont call you. Its stupid, I know, but if you get pissed about it, you'll never get laid.

I give the two strikes rule, then its no contact for a long time. If she calls me, I'll give her another chance. If not, maybe a month or so later, I'll call just for the hell of it. Sometimes you just need to call her at the right time. I know there have been several occasions where if I followed the two strike rule, I wouldn't have gotten laid at all. Its about knowing when you're wasting your time or not.

It may be rude as hell, but its life. Try to understand WHY they flake in the first place. Women are ammoral. In their mind, they're not doing anything wrong by flaking, and there is nothing any of us can do to change that. All we can do is work this fact into our game.

 

[giorgio]

good info.. i wont let them see me pissed.
so how would you answer if she asks if youre mad, just pretend nothing happened? Doesnt that give them the mindset that its ok to do it again? thanks again homeys!

 

[ThatMysteriousGuy]

good info.. i wont let them see me pissed.
so how would you answer if she asks if youre mad, just pretend nothing happened? Doesnt that give them the mindset that its ok to do it again? thanks again homeys!

I say "mad about what, I do have a life and it ended up being a very interesting night"? or something similar that directs her to wonder what I did and away from how I might have felt about the flake. Get off that line of discussion quickly because it's the sort of thing she has lots of negative emotional memories of.

When she asks, I just kind of laugh and ask her if she's a "jr detective, that's soooo cute" or something and move on to another subject.

Or, if I she's really into my ****y routine I might say "strippers of course!" and chuckle.

As soon as she realizes you don't get mad and that you have some mysterious stuff that you go ahead and do, she'll punish herself with her imagination wondering what you really did.

The next time she wants to flake she'll realize that YOU ARE DIFFERENT FROM 99% OF GUYS and her flaking will cause an uncomfortable feeling for herself when you do a non-answer again.

 

[giorgio]

I say "mad about what, I do have a life and it ended up being a very interesting night"? or something similar that directs her to wonder what I did and away from how I might have felt about the flake. Get off that line of discussion quickly because it's the sort of thing she has lots of negative emotional memories of.

When she asks, I just kind of laugh and ask her if she's a "jr detective, that's soooo cute" or something and move on to another subject.

Or, if I she's really into my ****y routine I might say "strippers of course!" and chuckle.

As soon as she realizes you don't get mad and that you have some mysterious stuff that you go ahead and do, she'll punish herself with her imagination wondering what you really did.

The next time she wants to flake she'll realize that YOU ARE DIFFERENT FROM 99% OF GUYS and her flaking will cause an uncomfortable feeling for herself when you do a non-answer again.

"Ended up being an interesting night", haha! I like that. Good stuff

 

[giorgio]

That phone game post was money I am going to start calling my numbers at 4 am for the fvck of it.

I just read that too. good ****! :yes:

 

[Pimp-sicle]

The key with flaking is to determine if the girl is simply blowing you off because she's not interested in you, but likes the attention or if she simply flaked and wants to honestly hang out with you.

If you do your job right when you initially meet her, she'll be much less likely to flake and if she has to cancel, she'll ALWAYS suggest another firm time and date.

If she flakes, doesn't answer her phone, doesn't call to apologize and then calls you a couple days later asking you "if your mad at her," your dealing with a woman with very low interest and you shouldn't put too much stock in her at that point.

In my book if they don't counter offer after canceling/flaking, they immediately move down the ladder and the best they can be is a FB to me.


Sounds like this girl likes the attention you give her, but isn't interested in much more. So all the slick lines etc, aren't going to help you because her interest is low to being with.....





PIMP

 

[giorgio]

The key with flaking is to determine if the girl is simply blowing you off because she's not interested in you, but likes the attention or if she simply flaked and wants to honestly hang out with you.

If you do your job right when you initially meet her, she'll be much less likely to flake and if she has to cancel, she'll ALWAYS suggest another firm time and date.

If she flakes, doesn't answer her phone, doesn't call to apologize and then calls you a couple days later asking you "if your mad at her," your dealing with a woman with very low interest and you shouldn't put too much stock in her at that point.

In my book if they don't counter offer after canceling/flaking, they immediately move down the ladder and the best they can be is a FB to me.


Sounds like this girl likes the attention you give her, but isn't interested in much more. So all the slick lines etc, aren't going to help you because her interest is low to being with.....





PIMP

Thanks pimp. what if she calls back the next day and asks to do something then? she's done that before.. maybe she really did have something goin on? how does that change things?
thanks for the response man

 

[Confused]

ALWAYS be playful about it. NEVER tell a girl off for flaking in an angry sense. Girls flake, thats what they do. Dont take it personally, and never let em see it bother you.. Heres a link I recommend to everyone when it comes to flaking:

(Its not just about phone game, btw)
http://www.rsdnation.com/node/60168

Basically, chicks flake because A: they have other options. B. They dont know you well enough to change their life around, even if they are interested C. Not interested D. You arent firmly planted in her reality. E. Just not in the mood to hang out with you. Chicks change their mind every five minutes. The next day, she may really want to hang out with you, but she probably wont call you. Its stupid, I know, but if you get pissed about it, you'll never get laid.

I give the two strikes rule, then its no contact for a long time. If she calls me, I'll give her another chance. If not, maybe a month or so later, I'll call just for the hell of it. Sometimes you just need to call her at the right time. I know there have been several occasions where if I followed the two strike rule, I wouldn't have gotten laid at all. Its about knowing when you're wasting your time or not.

It may be rude as hell, but its life. Try to understand WHY they flake in the first place. Women are ammoral. In their mind, they're not doing anything wrong by flaking, and there is nothing any of us can do to change that. All we can do is work this fact into our game.

If you do get mad like I did, is it game over?

I got mad at her for forgetting to meet up cos in my mind that if it's important to you, you wouldn't forget. Maybe it was a test to see how I'd react, her expression tells me she genuinely forgot and her BS answers of 'you remember the time in my texts?' playing dumb after to cover her tracks weren't going to cut it with me.

Then cos I took it all so serious she now doesn't want to see me anymore. Maybe she just wanted me for attention which is so strange cos she was texting me the night before what I was up to. It's like feigned/faked interest.

 

[Pimp-sicle]

Thanks pimp. what if she calls back the next day and asks to do something then? she's done that before.. maybe she really did have something goin on? how does that change things?
thanks for the response man

Your dealing with a girl who likes to run the show bro. She's doing this because you never built and amplified any attraction you created when you first met her and she only is willing to hang out with you on "her terms." In other words she's running the show and the only way anything is going to happen between you two (hangout, kiss, fuvk) is on her terms.

Now a lot of the DJ loyalist here will tell you to automatically turn her down if she calls the next day saying she's free because you don't want to seem "too available." However in these situations each case is different. Also the goal that you have in mind for each chick will also play heavily into how you game her.

For example, if I were in your shoes and this chick flaked, then called the next day to hang out, I'd probably go if my goal was to simply fuvk her and nothing else.

Now if I liked her and was investing time and some emotion into it, I would automatically start to de-attach here, because these are the early signs of low interest.


With that all said, its tough to say in your specific case without getting more info.

So, you mentioned in your OP that she flaked. How did she flake?? Did she not show up at the agreed location? Did she not answer her phone when you called? Or did she tell you she can't make it afterall that night and didn't counter offer???? The answer to this question will tell you A LOT about her interest in you and how you should proceed.




PIMP