flakiness

[k man]

ok, i know girls are supposed to be flaky, but i am seriously annoyed by all this. lemme give you an example -

- meet girl last friday casually through friend
- can tell she is interested
- she says she lives in the city, like me, so we should get together for lunch. i didn't ask, she just came out with that
- she gives me her number, then leaves
- i call her last night, she tells me she will call me back in a bit. she gets my number and repeats it back to me
- she never called

i know i'm being impatient and maybe she'll call....but let's just say she doesn't. this has happened to me many times where they just don't call back when they say they will. maybe there's a lot of those 'rules girls' running around. anyway, would you guys call her again? i know people say that "women are flaky, guys should just know that and not be bothered by it", but i think it's just f*cking rude not to call someone back when you say they will. i don't treat people like that. i wouldn't do that to a stranger unless i had to. so, what's your opinion.

 

[vendetta]

Good question man. I have this girl that asked me out last week...I called her just to set something up a few days later, she said let me call you back in thirty minutes- nothing. She asked me out! So, I'm just not calling and I suggest you do the same. If she has the need to see you she'll call or let herself be known in one form or another.

I really feel from coming to this website. The best and only approach to a relationship is, if it happens it happens- Go about living your life. If a girl tells you she'll call you back, don't think it will be that night at all...it can be two days later and that's just fine with you because you're somewhere else man.

If she acts like she is playing hard to get...forget her, move on and let her come back to you. There is no sense in worrying about what you say, how you say it or what you did. Just be light and breezy and don't be too much in their face - have a good time and just have fun with her- no more being deep.

I know that was long winded.

 

[Nickster]

Don't Even Try to Figure It Out

I have quit over analyzing women and it helps so much. You just need to realize that they're different and you can't necessarily use logic to figure them out. Let go of the idea that they will always act rational, and you'll be much better off.

Having said that, she probably got caught up in the conversation and forgot that you called. I do that often. Chances are she'll call you back today. But if she doesn't, don't worry about it - it's par for the course for a guy in the dating game. Sometimes women will act flakey.

 

[Mizer]

K-man, I remember when I pullled this real hot one off of the street and to my surprise, I actually wound up getting really interested in her during our conversation.
No faking it and hoping to become interested later and all of that stuff. After several days she didn't call. I was disappointed because I thought I was at my best when I was talking to her.

Well, I accepted the loss and that very same day she had called. It turns out that she had lost her cell phone along with my number in it(in three months of seeing her I have never seen her with that phone again). Here is the funny part: she was telling a friend about me and that friend had turned out to be a mutual friend between us and she was able to get my number from her (small world). Even though we are now still having fun I was ready to consider her a loss. There are too many reasons why someone doesn't call back to dwell on it. It will drive you crazy if you try to figure it out. There are just infinite reasons and many can have nothing to do with you.

Realize that it is just best to move on. Guys and Gals are going to are going to be rude. The more women you approach, the more disappointment as well as success you can expect.

I will leave you with this:

Lenny Wilkens is the most winningnest coach in the NBA, he has won more basketball games than any other coach in NBA history. He is also the most losingnest coach in NBA history. His explanation:

"These sort of things happen when you have been playing the game as long as I have."


Moral of the story: The more you play, the more you will win and lose.

Forget about her buddy. Concentrate on the wins.


Mizer

 

[Bonhomme]

Misgivings.

Your situation sounds like she just wanted to blow you off with the least amount of confrontation. Women have a lot of trouble saying "no" sometimes. It's a pain in the ass, but that's what you got.

There are 2 schools of thought on how to handle this: 1) tell her she was rude in a calm & controlled manner, and 2) just ignore her. This would let her off easy, but would not lead her to believe she *mattered*.

Sometimes a gal flakes for different reasons.

Often a gal has misgivings when she has a chance to *think* about things a bit.

It happens a lot to me, because I'm good at kino, and can work up an intense vibe with little effort on gals much younger than me (but definitely legal ). But after the gal starts to think about age differences, etc., she often gets cold feet.

 

[violator]

I agree with Mizer. Give her the benefit of the doubt and call her.

 

[Shiftkey]

She realised how little of a challenge she was being so now she's playing hard to get to compensate. Trust me, she's sitting by her phone waiting for you to call every minute she's awake and keeping it under her pillow when she's asleep.

I suggest you return the favor by waiting a few days before you call again. Make her sweet a little I wouldn't be surprised if she calls you within two days.

 

[trajhenkhet]

I'm curious. Have you lost anything?