flakes 10 mins before we're supposed to meet i can't give her another chance can i?

[Konada]

Why are you still emotionally invested in this chick when she FLAKED ON YOU 10 MINUTES BEFORE THE DATE???

You need to reframe. Fast. If I were you I'd ignore her message and delete her #, not to spite her but as a Don Juan you shouldn't be wasting time with chicks who disrespect your time.

 

[NinjaMaster]

haha can you believe this sh1t?? not only is she not sorry she's tryna make excuses as to why cancelling on me 20 mins before was not disrespectful.. she texts me just now at 6pm here's what she said:

hi so where were we... ah i did tell u i was not easy, but i would like to let u know it was not out of disrespect but out of consideration.. i'm sure u would not have enjoyed my company as i told u i had been partying to much and out of respect i decided not to show up drunk at your lovely invitation dear


well that just shows you, she's completely oblivious to her rudeness.. clearly she just wants a reply/any reply for validation.

im tempted to send back.. 'and how is this making it up to me? it's highly disrespectful to cancel 20 mins before meeting when you already confirmed 3 hours before, and also the day before.. the fact you don't even recognise this shows how much disrespect you're showing me..'

but i probably won't reply at all as i think that's the wrong thing to do.

silence is likely to aid me? like you guys said unless she tries to suggest to meet up with me i should not give her any more attention or time.

i think she won't so it's silence rather than showing my hand or pointing out what she has done wrong. is she completely oblivious to the fact that cancelling 20 mins before hand is just rude?

Newsflash dude. She already knows your azz is sore. And YOU are doing it to yourself. Getting all worked up over some chick you don't know from a can of paint.

So she couldn't show up? So she cancelled 20 minutes before? So she went out with her friends who she knows for much longer than you and INVITED you in the first place? You don't have other things to do? You take someone cancelling on you who doesn't know you and you them as they OWE it to you to NOT cancel or do anything that might hurt your "feelings"?

Sht I'm GLAD if a chick were to cancel at times as I have a life and other things to do. Not sit around and worry about her as the sole source of my entertainment or "life".

You're acting like a child dude. You are putting waaaay too much value on this chick and what she does.

You simply reply back to her last text with a: LOL. Don't worry about it. What are you up to? How was the carnival?

If she asks you out say sure and don't come across as "mad" or she "owes" you etc. Almost as if you were talking to a dude whom you had plans with and they didn't work out. Would you get pissy with them? You would simply just BS on the phone again and see if there's another time to go out.

I swear many of you dudes are so friggin insecure and act like kids expecting these chicks to drop their lives right off the bat to trip over themselves to meet date some dude who acts like a child over it on a message board OBVIOUSLY showing their pissed.

RELAX. Don't focus on her HAVING to go out with you. Change topics. BS a bit. Talk about the carnival. Don't ask her out again. If she asks you tell her you'll set something up soon.


I'm telling you these chicks can read when a dude is mad, when he's desperate etc. as they operate on emotions. If you can't control yours they WILL control them for you.

 

[NinjaMaster]

For a master, we disagree alot here. I am not a master, it is apparent. My thoughts in bold anyways.





So, they can tell if you are mad.......so what? Desperate is getting sh%t tossed in your face and doing what you suggest "May I have some more, please?""

OP - do what you like. She disrespected you. That is the type of person she obviously is. Also, she thinks absolutely nothing of it, so you can expect alot more to come. Obviously she places no value on your time - the only question is will you reward this behavior with MORE of your attention....................or will you retain your dignity and walk away?

See dudes like you get upset at **** like that because you rely on some chick.
Me? I don't. I reply what I feel like and could care less what they think.

Maybe because I know a lot of people and usually have plans with many. I flake, friends flake, chicks flake, family, cousins, Don't answer, give an excuse last minute etc.

People throw parties and some don't show or cancel last minute etc.

I'm used to it as are most other people.

Ex: A bunch of dudes I know that I haven't seen all planned to go out the past weekend. I had things to do. One kept pushing till I just didn't respond even after I told him I had plans. Found out the day after the meet no one wound up going. Everyone does that ****. It doesn't get to me at all as I understand other people have lives and can set up other plans not sitting at home waiting on everyone else as if their life depended upon it.

I know many other dudes who have chicks flake on them they flake on the chicks etc and meet up down the road. No big deal.

Since Pete101 seems emotionally distressed and doing mental gymnastics over this whole thing then it would be better for him to just drop the chick and not reply.

 

[pyros]

she really thinks you're sh-it, accept it. If it was not the case, she wouldn't have cancelled 20 MINUTES BEFORE to go with her friends. 20 minutes before, wtf??

Had she cancelled it two hours before...ok, no such a big deal, just see if she wants to reschedule. BUT ITS NOT THE CASE.

She thinks so little of you that after treating you like dog crap, she is trying to toy with you, dont you see it?

I would send her what Mauser suggested something like: 'go fu-ck yourself, dear'. In this case a reply like this is needed.

 

[Kailex]

So she drank too much, and out of consideration, flaked on you, but went out with friends to a carnival... um, okay.

Plus she is 40+?

Instead of "fvck off", just reply, "Who is this?" and THEN "fvck off".

 

[NinjaMaster]

Not because I rely on some chick. Because I am from a different generation. To responsible people, who make, keep, and COMMIT to plans, it IS a big deal. Just like in the business world.

Regardless, someone wastes my time, man or woman, I delete them.

This isn't business. Just two people who don't even know each other from a can of paint. Most of you cannot even handle that.

To be honest most chicks wouldn't give a **** it you blew up on them like a loon and it would prove to themselves what they might suspect. That you can't handle any change in your "life".

Different generation? lol. I've seen people older and younger do it. Men and women. Relatives, friends,etc. It goes on for holidays with people, parties, just catching up etc. People are going to do other things or something comes up. But if you've got nothing else to do and rely on others all the time or else you delete them off one ego "diss" then have at it.

If people can flake, so can I. If it's constant? Then you drop them. Then again most of us have other things to do then worry or blow up on someone especially if we barely even know them.


Best thing Pete101 could've done when she texted to flake ten minutes before is to not have responded and then text her the next day saying he was sorry he left his phone home as he was out.

 

[marmel75]

Next time before setting up plans text the woman "You aren't one of these flakey women that makes plans and then cancels are you? If so, I'd rather you just not waste my time".

This will lower your flake rate somewhat...how much varies, but it helps

 

[asa_don]

you guys are all still missing the point here.

she didn't flake 10 minutes before the date, she flaked at 2 pm when she said she was not ready and feeling too shy, he was the one who kept reassuring her to come

he assumed the date was on, he kept convincing her to come, she said no, he walking to the place arguing with her, she still said no, that's his fault.

chicks from online will flake on guys they never met, that is to be expected when they are meeting guys in person they have already met before.

chicks will always take a better option, she had a choice between the carnival or pete, she chose the carnival.

his behavior was afc so that is his fault, she was disrespectful for her flake excuse, he never met this chick, she doesnt deserve this much thought or discussion, next!

 

[pete101]

she really thinks you're sh-it, accept it. If it was not the case, she wouldn't have cancelled 20 MINUTES BEFORE to go with her friends. 20 minutes before, wtf??

Had she cancelled it two hours before...ok, no such a big deal, just see if she wants to reschedule. BUT ITS NOT THE CASE.

She thinks so little of you that after treating you like dog crap, she is trying to toy with you, dont you see it?

I would send her what Mauser suggested something like: 'go fu-ck yourself, dear'. In this case a reply like this is needed.

technically speaking she pre flaked at 2pm when she confirmed '5pm would be better.. i'm shy blah blah' not sure if that makes a difference or makes it worse? i.e. semi-confirms 3 hours earlier then flakes 20 mins before meeting

 

[pete101]

you guys are all still missing the point here.

she didn't flake 10 minutes before the date, she flaked at 2 pm when she said she was not ready and feeling too shy, he was the one who kept reassuring her to come

he assumed the date was on, he kept convincing her to come, she said no, he walking to the place arguing with her, she still said no, that's his fault.

chicks from online will flake on guys they never met, that is to be expected when they are meeting guys in person they have already met before.

chicks will always take a better option, she had a choice between the carnival or pete, she chose the carnival.

his behavior was afc so that is his fault, she was disrespectful for her flake excuse, he never met this chick, she doesnt deserve this much thought or discussion, next!

it wasn't so much an argument more so trying to persuade her to come which i accept is wrong thing to do.. should have gone silent not responded, it's because i was already there walking to the place dressed up so i felt i needed a return on my investment but really i should have more self respect and just not reply.

 

[pete101]

i don't appear to be able to edit my original post so i'll write it here,

the last message i officially sent her on sunday telling her to make it up to me was:

'you need to make it up to me BIG time. i have a rule: i dont meet women who cancel 10mins before meeting. that's a big no-no and disrespectful of me and my time.

i await your counter offer. it better be good '


then what followed was her '' text the next day, then yesterday the:

'hi so where were we... ah i did tell u i was not easy, but i would like to let u know it was not out of disrespect but out of consideration.. i'm sure u would not have enjoyed my company as i told u i had been partying to much and out of respect i decided not to show up drunk at your lovely invitation dear '

which is just insulting and derisory.

 

[pyros]

I insist, all this trouble for a woman who's over 40??

I would just forget about her and try to find women 10 years younger or more.
And for the next girl, do not repeat your mistakes, ie, persuading her to meet you eventhough she did not feel like it.

May the Force be with you.

 

[hudpes]

pete, why would you try parenting this 40 year old woman by telling her what she did wrong and how she needs to make it up to you? How she behaves is none of your business you just decide if this is allright for you or if it is not then ACT accordingly, don't text.

 

[pete101]

Whatcha gonna do Pete?

absolutely nothing. no reply, no abuse nothing. don't want to give her the satisfaction of knowing she upset me. silence is the way forward.

i already stated my case that i don't meet women who cancel 10 mins beforehand and that she has to make it up to me (she already said she'd make it up to me prior in an earlier text so it's not as if i'm ordering her to, just repeating what she offered) and that it better be good.

i don't really need to say much else, unless she offers to meet up again she's not relevant, and if she does offer she has to work harder to win back my favour but her last text shows you she has completely blind disregard for what she's done wrong and that she thinks she's doing me a favour.. shows you she's delusional and spoilt.

it's my fault really for not setting it up in an assertive way where she would think twice about flaking on me.. i was too eager so she thought cancelling on me wouldn't be a big deal cos i'd come back but i won't.

 

[pete101]

I insist, all this trouble for a woman who's over 40??

I would just forget about her and try to find women 10 years younger or more.
And for the next girl, do not repeat your mistakes, ie, persuading her to meet you eventhough she did not feel like it.

May the Force be with you.

i like older and younger women, and she's hot, granted there's something def wrong with her if she's 40+ and still partying all the time like she's 18, no surprise no kids and no surprise she has pets, no cats but couple dogs.. they all seem carbon copies of one another (older women that is).

 

[pete101]

Next time before setting up plans text the woman "You aren't one of these flakey women that makes plans and then cancels are you? If so, I'd rather you just not waste my time".

This will lower your flake rate somewhat...how much varies, but it helps

I like this. but does it not come across as a bit pushy?

I can see how it would work, you pre call them out on flaking to prevent them from flaking.. the bit of 'if so, i'd rather you just not waste my time' sounds a bit bitter and tells them you get emotionally affected by their flaking, not a criticism more just i think maybe if it was reworded slighly it would come across assertive but not pushy/bitter/aggressive.'

i imagine you might get some who will send 'well it's better we don't meet then as i wouldn't want to waste your time'

it does weed out the low IL and lukewarm IL ones tbh, for someone who has high IL it won't deter them.

the thing is if you're meeting someone off facebook, even a high IL one is not as a high IL one as one you've met before right?

I imagine this pre-flaking call out message may even backfire on women who have above average IL not high IL (facebook ones i mean)

it's interesting tho, i may use that in future for women who i suspect are flakers.

 

[Krueg]

BondjamesBond comments with the following,

Speaking for myself, I never had a problem with confirmation calls.....I use to do it all the time. But it was always me who said that I would call about a day or so ahead of time to make certain things were still on. It was my own little test. If they acted even the least bit half-hearted or wanted to back out then I dropped them like a bad habit and never gave them a second thought again. Only once did I excuse a chick for not being able to show......She had to go to the hospital because of an attack of appendicitis. So things do happen.

I can't tell you the number of times some broads would call me again and again trying to set something back up after I felt they burned me. But they all got the same response-----CLICK------

I think a confirmation call can be reasonable within limits that you, yourself , set.

But don't ever break rule #1.......
Never, never, NEVER, kiss a woman's @ss!